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Aging Hippie Dispatch

Christian hate groups plan Republican campaign strategy

by on Jan. 07, 2012, under Bigotry, Catholic, Christian, GLBT, Republican, santorum

Concerned that a Mormon stood poised to win the Repub presidential nomination, in June the leaders of christian churches and hate groups gathered for a conference call and settled on the strategy of encouraging Rick Perry to run as their preferred christian candidate.

Although Perry prayed mightily and pledged to stop Obama’s war on religion, God has not yet answered their prayers and so they have convened an emergency meeting in Brenham, TX to adjust their godly strategy.

“You and your spouse are cordially invited to a private meeting with national conservative leaders of faith at the ranch of Paul and Nancy Pressler near Brenham, Texas, with the purpose of attempting to unite and to come to a consensus on which Republican Presidential candidate or candidates to support, or which not to support” - Politico reports the invitation to read.

Invited are the luminaries of the right wing christian world (sans Catholic Bishops): James Dobson, Don Wildmon, Gary Bauer, John Hagee and Kelly Shackelford.

The fear is that religious right voters will split their votes among Santorum, Perry and even Gingrich, assuring Romney of victory. They hope to coalesce around a single Not-Romney and urge the other candidates to drop out.

The flavor of the week this week is Santorum and he is expected to be the choice, but my bet is that Perry will be the eventual beneficiary once Santorum is subjected to scrutiny and people learn more about what a nasty piece of work he is.

This entry was posted on Saturday, January 7th, 2012 at 10:45 am and is filed under Bigotry, Catholic, Christian, GLBT, Republican, santorum. Tags for this post: , , , . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

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  • cochisecitizen

    Our Father who art in Heaven, please deliver us from Kenyan anti-Christ! And save us from the Massachusetts moderate non-Christian Mormon pretender!
    We thought Mr. Rick was The One to put asunder the Great Satin, but we didn’t realize he was as dumb as the dirt at the camp he fondly calls N!gger Head. Oopsie!
    The we were certain you had sent us The Hermanator to smite Obummer, with the added bonus he proved we aren’t really racist, we like our colored folk – as long as they do what we want them to do. But Nein-Nein-Nein!  He looked at women with lust in his heart and let little Herman do all the talking.
    So then we turned to the Newt, hoping he had seen The Light. But alas, he’s still just as much an egotistical bastard that he was when he shut down government because he had to ride in the back of a plane.  But heck, at least now he was a wife young & pretty enough to be the wife of a President. Third time is a charm.
    So now we’ve turned to a Catholic parishioner who’s obsession with gay sex would seem to indicate that all was not well in the parish when he was an alter boy. Or, since he sees parallels between loving same sex unions and bestiality, perhaps all was not right on the farm when he was a boy. But he’s our guy! He’ll put an end to letting women have control over their own bodies.  He’ll tell the gayz that it will be illegal for them to act on their sexual attraction, they must be like our Priests – denying the feelings, urges and needs God gave you somehow makes you closer to God.  
    So thank you God for giving us Rick Santorum to deliver us from the Godless Libtard Demoncrats! Oh, and if you’re not too busy, can you give Timmy Tebow a big helping hand tomorrow? He’s going to need all the help he can get.

    • Pacific Babe

      Do priests deny sex?  Since when?  Great posting!  :-)

    • cochisecitizen

      1- Pacific Babe: Yes Priest deny they have sexual attractions. And then when they act on them, they deny they did.
       
      2- Thank you Lord for answering my Prayer and helping that good Christian boy Timmie Tebow. He does seem to have a bit of an unnatural attraction to your boy JC (what’s with the always being on his knees?), but it’s been so long since the prayers of Bronco fans have been answered, we’ll take most anyone. 
      3- We look forward to your texting tomorrow for who is the answer to the Godless non-Christian and Great Satin Sheet Romney. 

  • http://none JimBodkins

    A note – there was no flavor of the month (IMO). It is basically a race between Romney and christian fundamentalists in general. As a fundamentalist candidate raised in popularity – I believe – a Romney superpac would knock them back. Why? Romney is and always has been stuck at 25 percent. If he were to run against a single fundamentalist he would be crushed. Fundamentalist republicans can own most of the primaries.

    The shifting popularity – I believe – is a sign of money and attack ads. I believe Perry staying in the race is as well (he went back to Texas to arrange a ‘private’ deal) – Santorum just lost a significant percentage of his support in S Carolina. 

  • leftfield

    “…what a nasty piece of work he is.”  I’m curious – wouldn’t someone have to be really, really, off-the-charts, nasty to stand out in such a crowd as Romney, Perry, et. al.?  

    • Tip O’Neill

      Yes :)

  • radmax

    Good god these boobs ALL make Obama look good. Pitiful choice.
    BTW, satin is great…just not for sheets, too slippery… ;)

    • Tip O’Neill

      >BTW, satin is great…just not for sheets, too slippery…
      And it’s hard to clean the santorum out :(  

      • leftfield

        Ooh, I forgot all about Santorum having lent his name to this new definition.  Thanks for reminding me.  Now, instead of being depressed every time I see him, I will get a little chuckle out of it.    

        • radmax

          Ha! You guys are too much!
          Now if you’ll excuse me I gotta take a Castro.

      • Pacific Babe

        LOL

  • http://drudgereport terese dudas

    You know what, you are a sick person.

    • Tip O’Neill

      Funny, where have I heard that before ?
      O yea …. Pope, Dobson, Falwell, Santorum ….. 

  • cochisecitizen

    ROTFLMAO
     

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