I love living in Tucson, Arizona. Great weather, beautiful views and boy, we sure are lucky to have two such wonderful politicians looking out for us. First off, Steve Kozachik wants to help us to get rid of old, unwanted guns that have been cluttering up the house. Now we can take them to the Tucson police department’s midtown station at 22nd and Alvernon on Tuesday starting at 9am and trade them for a $50 Safeway card. This event was put together in an effort to get no longer wanted guns off the street where they could potentially fall into the hands of people seeking to cause harm. But Frank Antenori wants to make sure we are getting a fair deal for the guns, as he feels $50 might not be such a great trade. So he has decided to set up shop next to Steve and make a better offer if he thinks the gun is worth more. How thoughtful of him, why he’s practically Father Christmas! I was moved to tears at the gesture Frank is making to be on the lookout for our financial welfare. Usually the politicians are picking our pockets but not this time. I scoff at those people claiming that this is nothing but a publicity stunt or an attention grab. It is clear to me that Frank, honest to goodness, has our backs on this matter. So much so that I thought, why stop at guns? What about getting the best deal for other things laying around the house that we no longer need or use? Frank apparently has deep pockets and our best interest at heart so let’s make sure he knows how much we appreciate it. I say let’s load up all the crap around our house that we aren’t using, along with the stacks of guns too, of course, and take them to good ole Uncle Frank. There’s no sense in having to put out signs and advertise a yard sale when motivated buyers that care about getting you top dollar are right there ready to make you an offer. So bring out your used clothes, housewares and bric- a- brac and let Frank take them off your hands. It will be like Antique Roadshow but without the glamor. So hurry up and gather all those dust covered items and take them down to Frank tomorrow. He has money, he has your best interest in mind and he’ll be waiting!
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Cat Belue is a Southerner by birth and a Tucsonan by choice. She landed in the desert 8 years ago because the vast sky and beautiful mountains resonated in her soul. Cat has worn a number of hats in her lifetime. She is highly adaptive to her surroundings and has learned something from every experience she's had. As a result she is filled with a lot of useless knowledge handy only in a bar setting as long as everyone else is drunk. After spending most of her life in pursuit of the meaning and purpose of life, she finally found the answer for herself. She decided that life is about nothing. And that life is about everything. But mostly life is about making fun of people. Self included. Cat believes that life is a celebration of the arcane. So as long as we're here, why not enjoy it.