While those around me are busy writing out their holiday ‘to do’ lists, I am diligently making out my ‘not to do’ list. I have found that it is much more important to know what to avoid than what to embrace. Luckily for me I have already been able to cross off one item. Instead of going shopping on Black Friday in an effort to save a few bucks, I just crossed off some names from my gift list!
- I will not compliment people on their hideously ugly Christmas clothes just to be nice. And that means you mom.
- I will not drink up my liquor cabinet and call people I haven’t talked to in years. Not again.
- I will not freak out when the old lady at the front of a long line drags out her checkbook. It may be her last Christmas.
- I will not get upset about anything Bill O’Reilly says about Xmas or anything for that matter.
- I will not eat up the entire tray of deliciousness under the guise of losing the weight in a week. I think we all know that’s not going to happen.
- I will not brag to relatives about Tucson’s great weather. It’s like chumming in brackish waters; you never know what you’ll pull in.
- I will not attempt to create any dessert pictured in a magazine, the end result of my efforts are just too sad.
- I will not pretend to like a sucky gift. I will instead let the awkward moment sit there as a lesson to the offender.
- I will not be one of those people that dress up their dogs for pictures with Santa purely for my own amusement. It will be for the amusement of everyone and to raise money for the HSSAZ.
- I will not insert myself into bumper to bumper traffic to gawk at colored lights on a tree in Winterhaven. If I should feel the need to see blinking lights I will go into the bathroom and flip the switch till the urge passes.
Boy, I sure hope I can stick to this. How about you? Share what it is that you pledge to not do this holiday season!