SoS Ken Bennett recants birtherism, says Obama was really born in Hawaiiby David Pinar on May. 23, 2012, under Pol. & Govt., Uncategorized
Arizona Secretary of State Ken Bennett announced today that he is satisfied that President Obama was born in Hawaii and says the “matter is closed”, bringing to an end his spectacle of being the ridicule of the nation. After two months of badgering Hawaii state officials to confirm what they’ve been saying for years – even under former Republican Governor Linda Lingle – Bennett received a one page document confirming that Obama was indeed born in a hospital in Honolulu on August 4th 1961. Bennett says he will now allow President Obama’s name to appear on the ballot in November. Bennett said he only starting looking into Obama’s birth after being heckled with angry emails from people who didn’t believe the president was truly a natural born citizen of the United States. And while he admits that he has also received requests to confirm Mitt Romney’s birth in Michigan he has no plans to request Michigan to confirm that. After all, Mitt doesn’t have a strange sounding name, and he looks “American”.
I do have some sympathy for Mr. Bennett. He obviously plans to run for Governor in 2014, and he knows that to stand out and be noticed by the Republican base in Arizona you gotta show ‘em that you’re just as crazy as the best of them. And Ken isn’t done yet. He may have lost the battle of the birthers, he’s launching further initiatives to convince the Arizona Republican base that he’s one of ‘em:
- Bennett says he is convinced the Earth is only 5,000 years old, saying the “myth of the dinosaurs is perpetuated by the same tin foil hat scientist that hoisted the myth on global warming on us. “I want to ban the teaching of evolution and make that the Earth is only 5,000 years old the law of the land in Arizona!“
- Elvis is alive! Bennett says that he has reliable evidence that the death of Elvis Presley was faked and that Elvis is alive and well. “Elvis has not left the building” says Bennett, “he’s alive and well and I intend to bring him to Arizona and make him a star attraction again. Hell, he’d bring more tourists to Arizona to see him then that stupid Grand Canyon!“.
- Investigation into the NASA faked moon landing. In his statement Bennett said “NASA claims to have sent astronauts to the moon six times between 1969 and 1972 but dramatic new evidence proves that the $30 billion program was a hoax-filmed on a movie set in the Nevada desert in Area 51“. Bennett says that as Secretary of State it is his duty to make NASA prove it’s “ridiculous claim”, and that he planned to name “America’s Toughest Sheriff” to head a Blue Ribbon Committee investigating NASA.
- Which came first? Bennett says that as Secretary of State it is his duty to put people’s minds to rest and settle once and for all the age old question of “Which came first, the chicken or the egg?”. He’s already actively investigating.
Stay tuned for further episodes of Ken’s Follies.