The End is Near!by David Pinar on Nov. 02, 2012, under Pol. & Govt.
Have hope ye of little faith! The End is Near! No, I’m not talking about that Mayan calendar thingy – I think they just haven’t found the other half yet. Or maybe they just didn’t decipher the Mayonnaise language correctly. I’m taking about Election 2012 – only 4 more days of being afraid to turn on your television! Only 4 more days of being deluged and insulted from political ads from shadowy outside groups we’ve never heard of telling us how bad and low down dirty rotten the other guy is! In a way we’re fortunate here in Arizona that we’re not considered a battleground state for the Presidential race and have largely been spared the barrage of ads states like Ohio and Florida have had to endure. I grew up in suburban Columbus Ohio and my sister and her family still live there. She tell me they gave up on live TV and ordered a DVR from the cable company so she can record their favorite TV shows and then fast forward through all the political ads, which she estimated at up to 20 per half hour during the local newscast. The latest 7-11 robbery or fender bender go unreported so they can squeeze in more political ads. Not only is Ohio ground zero for the Obama and Romney campaigns, but outside groups have poured over $30 million into TV ads trying to defeat incumbent Democratic Senator Sherrod Brown – who’s coasting to reelection anyway. But then Rich Carmona came out of nowhere and threatened Jeff Flake’s coronation as our next Jon Kyle and the outside money poured in and we were subjected to images of a shadowy figure banging on a door in the middle of the night and the Grand Canyon turned into a large uranium open pit mine. And the Republican establishment never gives up their dream of winning the Congressional seat once held by Gabriele Giffords.
So take heart fellow southern Arizonans, the End is Near! After next Tuesday the political ads will all be gone, replaced with normal ads. Ads touting the magic of Viagra for those unexpected moments. Ads for new breakthrough drugs for the heartbreak of psoriasis. And my personal favorite – ads touting new miracle drugs for the torment of Restless Leg Syndrome! With all due empathy for those affected by that, of all the afflictions I could worry about contracting, Restless Leg Syndrome isn’t even on the radar – personally, my legs are always on their best behavior. And I hate to admit it, but I’ve even missed Jim Click hawking what a great deal he has on a new Ford. Oh wait, was that a new Chrysler? No wait, it was a new Kia . . . er, I meant new Hyundai! And where’s that appliance guy been? The one who always assures us that their low prices are our priority while he’s dressed up in some goofy outfit? I want Ace Hardware back assuring me I won’t need a sledge hammer to fix that drippy faucet or need a fireman when I try to switch out that buggy light socket.
Over $2 billion spent on the Presidential race, and billions more spent on Senate, Governor, and Congressional races. Thanks, Supreme Court, for deciding when our Founding Fathers wrote our Constitution what they really meant was that corporations are people and their money is actually free speech. But thanks, American voters for deciding our democracy isn’t up for sale and that your vote doesn’t go to the highest bidder. But only if you do actually take the time and effort to vote. If you haven’t mailed in that early mail-in ballot, today is the last day to do so. If you don’t, you can still drop it off at any polling place next Tuesday until 7PM. If you plan to vote in person next Tuesday be sure to check the location of you polling location – with the large majority of voters switching to mail-in voting, polling locations have been significantly reduced and your place to vote may have changed since the last election. You can check it right here at the AZ Secretary of State website. You’ll need either your voter ID # or Driver’s License #. Your vote is important, take it from this guy:
So take heart fellow southern Arizonans, the End is Near! Meanwhile, it’s going to be another great weekend here in southern Arizona – get out there and enjoy it!
Have a great weekend.