BCS Championship: Auburn hunts down Oregon Ducks for first title since 1957
Monday, January 10th, 2011THE BOWL SEASON…
AS TOLD BY THE SNARKY PALOOKA
.
BCS CHAMPIONSHIP GAME(Sponsored by Tostitos)
.
No. 1 AUBURN 22, No. 2 OREGON 19
.
Don’t adjust your TV, that’s just the hideously bright colors of Oregon’s neon gr-ellow and Auburn orange that’s messing with the contrast of your set.
.
It’s been 37 days since Auburn and Oregon played their respective swan songs of the regular season — the same amount of time it takes a swan to carry an egg to full term.
.
Auburn Tigers offensive linesman Jorrell Bostrom (76) celebrates after the 2011 BCS National Championship game against the Oregon Ducks at University of Phoenix Stadium. The Tigers defeated the Ducks 22-19. John Reed-US PRESSWIRE
“That’s Chris Davis, he’s one of the men you’ll see all over the field tonight for Auburn.”
- ESPN announcer Brent Musberger on Auburn’s Chris Davis, laid sprawled on the turf after being injured on the game’s opening kickoff. Umm, Brent…he doesn’t look so good.
.
The icy storm that’s gripped the South this week has forced the cancellation of all the Auburn-sponsored viewing parties.
I hear there’s a Hooters about 45 miles away in Montgomery, Ala., that might be open.
Tiger fans should have been more careful before saying that Auburn would win a national title when hell froze over.
.
For those of you that don’t speak French, Oregon’s LaMichael James translates to “The Michael James.”
.
This year’s BCS National Championship game has become the most expensive ticket in the history of professional sports.
Word is Auburn quarterback Cameron Newton’s father Cecil Newton (whom allegedly solicited money from schools for the enrollment of his son) could be seen outside Glendale’s University of Phoenix Stadium scalping his two game tickets — but doing so by offering the buyer to pay via a layaway plan.
.
“I was really trying to screw up somebody’s box pool.”
- Oregon head coach Chip Kelly on why the Ducks went for two after LaMichael James’ second quarter touchdown to make it 11-7.
.
Liberty Mutual named Auburn’s Gene Chizik its 2010 coach of the year before the game on Monday.
If bowl games were awarded by name, the Tigers would be playing in the Chizik Fil-A Bowl.
.
The Ducks’ average of about two minutes per scoring drive is the fast in the FBS this season.
At that rate, Oregon could score 90 touchdowns in time it takes to properly roast a duck.
.
Is an Oregon coach who gets caught stealing Auburn signals considered a Peking duck?
.
Mark J. Rebilas-US PRESSWIRE
Auburn has had seven “War Eagle” live mascots since the program’s first game in 1892. The moral of this story? Damn, eagles live a long time.
