Doctors, team officials and even Rob Gronkowski himself are keeping mum on the injury that could keep the superstar tight end and his 20 touchdowns on the sidelines for Super Bowl XLVI.

Gronk’s ankle, however, doesn’t know when to keep quiet and is spilling the beans in the run-up to the New England Patriots’ re-match on Sunday with the New York Giants.

Follow his snarky and often-times mercurial Articulatio Talocruralis all day here or on Twitter at:

@Ankle_of_Gronk

 

 

STRANDED AT SECOND BASE

 “Culling the thoughts that occur when you’re standing around waiting for something to happen”

 

.

Rex Ryan is alleged to have a foot-fetish, after a video surfaced online of a woman, who looks like the wife of the New York Jets head coach, performing provocative acts with her feet.

This, of course, served as a new challenge for headline writers everywhere. With that said, here’s the Rex Ryan foot-related headline database:

New England Patriots fans prior to the AFC Divisional Playoff game against the New York Jets at Gillette Stadium. John MunsonThe Star-Ledger via US PRESSWIRE

“Lick ‘Em”

(New York Post)

“No Foot in Mouth” (Albany Times Union)

“Rex Ryan: Agony of De-Feet” (Bleacher Report and about 8,000-plus according to Google)

“Tormented Rex Bares ‘Sole’ Over Kinky Feet Vids” (New York Post)

“Men Just Follow In Rex Ryan’s Footsteps” (Los Angeles Times)

“Trouble A-Foot” (Boston Herald)

“Open Mouth, Insert Foot” (Boston Globe)

“Foot-Bowl: Rex Ryan vs. Bill Belichick” (Larry Brown Sports)

“Jets, Pats Dance Around Wes Welker’s Foot Comments” (Sporting News)

“By The Skin of the Feet, Jets Sneak Past Colts” (Vigilant Sports)

. 

Some additional ones the media missed, but In Progress At Press Time did not:

“Welker, Pats Shoot Selves in Foot”

“This Little Piggie Won in Foxborough, This Little Piggie Stays Home”

“Rex Ryan’s Dogs Are Barking, Pats Forced to Heel”

“Foxborough Phalanges: Jets Step on, break, Patriots Super Bowl Dreams”

“Brady, and His Fabio Haircut, Swept off his Feet”

“Welker, Dropped Touchdown Pass, Incon-sole-able After Loss”

.

Brett Favre’s sister Brandi was arrested this week as part of a bust on a Mississippi meth house.

Is this further proof that there’s just no quit in the Favre household?

.

If periods are called ‘quarters’ in football and basketball; how come they’re not called ‘thirds’ in hockey? Shouldn’t the Red Wings win a game with a late third-thirds goal by Detroit defenseman Nicklas Lidstrom?

(more…)

NEW YORK JETS vs. NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS

As told by the Snarky Palooka

 Tom Brady’s hair grows, so, too, does the New England Patriots lead in the AFC East with 45-3 win over the New York Jets.

.

Brad Smith (16) gets a stiff arm on Sergio Brown on this play, but it was the Pats who pushed around New York Monday night, winnng 45-3. David Butler II-US PRESSWIRE

Remember the days when Monday Night Football actually kicked-off at 8 p.m. and not 8:40?

I believe the rule is: five extra minutes for each additional talking head that ESPN adds to its pre-game panel.

.

10:57, 1Q – Shayne Graham (NE) 41-yard FG

NE 3, NYJ 0

.

What is that emblem on the turf of Gillette Stadium? Is that a tee pee? Is that homage to all the Indians the “Patriots” infected with small pox?

Is it a peace pipe?

I’m told it’s the bridge and light tower that stand guard over the stadium itself.

Isn’t that kind of vain…like staring in the mirror for hours admiring your long, flowing brown hair?

.

4:02, 1Q – BenJarvus Green-Ellis (NE) 1-yard TD run (kick good)

NE 10, NYJ 0

.

It’s only fitting that the Jets have a player named DeVito. I like to think that defensive end Mike DeVito earned his way onto the Jets after struggling to make it to the NFL, during which time he supplemented his income by driving a NYC taxi cab.

.

What’s the matter? Pat’s head coach Bill Bellichick couldn’t find scissors strong enough to cut the sleeves off that parka?

.

1:01, 1Q – Tom Brady to Deion Branch (NE) 25-yard TD pass (kick good)

NE 17, NYJ 0

.

New York’s slow start in the 17-degree weather is not the Jets’ fault. We’ve all been on that plane that gets delayed because it takes forever to de-ice the wings.

.

12:14, 2Q – Nick Folk (NYJ) 39-yard FG

NE 17, NYJ 3

.

Who assumes the last name in the wedding of ESPN color commentator John Gruden and New England quarterback Tom Brady? At least they’re already in Massachusetts.

.

Speaking of surnames? Green or Ellis? Which one is BenJarvus’ maiden name?

(more…)