My first order as new President of the World Associated Federation of Franchised Leagues Everywhere, is to enact a clause I’m calling “Population Relocation.”

WAFFLE’s provisos are simple.

Your city may legally poach a team from a city with a smaller population.

We’ll turn the business of relocating professional sports-franchises into an exchange game — a White Elephant of Inhabitants, if you would.

Bluntly put: more fans equals more hands, which equals more foam “We’re No. 1″ fingers sold, which equals more revenue.

Take Tucson as our model.

The 2010 United States Census ranks the Old Pueblo as the country’s 33rd largest city with 520,116 people — a number that jumps to more than a million when you factor in the city’s greater metro area.

For the sake of this ridiculous argument, we’ll stick with the city’s census population as our guidelines.

There are nine cities smaller than Tucson with professional sport teams in at least one of the Big Four leagues (MLB, NBA, NFL and NHL).

CITIES SMALLER THAN TUCSON WITH PRO TEAMS: Atlanta, Cleveland, Green Bay, Kansas City, Sacramento, Miami, Minneapolis, Oakland & Raleigh

— Christopher Wuensch (@BearDownAndBlog) May 7, 2012

Combined they have 21 teams.

There are five cities with a higher population than Tucson, so they get the tiebreaker.

The NFL teams fly off the board first at the draft. Figure the new configuration to look something like this:

Cities That Should Get NFL Franchises: Austin Packers; El Paso Chiefs; Louisville Falcons; Las Vegas Dolphins and Albuquerque Vikings

— Christopher Wuensch (@BearDownAndBlog) May 7, 2012

Tucson is left with the unenviable task of choosing between the Cleveland Browns and Oakland Raiders.

The Raiders are the pick. TucsonCitizen.com Editor Mark Evans throws on his spiked shoulder pads and Darth Vader mask and is the first on line to buy season tickets.

But why stop there? Tucson has other options in turning the Pima County Fairgrounds into a Big Four stomping grounds.

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