Bermudez Shorts » Arnie Bermudez

The end of the world is coming… and its a load of crap

Arnie Bermudez — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 00:16:04 +0000

According to some people that have interpreted the Mayan calendar, we have less than a year left on this rock. 2012 marks the last year of one of the most accurate calendars known to man… and it ends on December 21, 2012. Or December 12, 2012 depending on who you talk to. This is not new to many of us, but there are still a few folks that are not aware of this little tidbit of info. This is important going into the year not because we have around 11 months to live, but because by 2012 we should not have to worry about this type of thinking, but we do. We still have people like Harold Camping;

Nutbag

this handsome young lad of only 90 years of age managed to swindle hundreds of people out of money donated to him because of his doomsday calculations that determined the end of the world was in May of 2011. When that didn’t happen the conservative Christian radio preacher claimed an “oops” and cited his calculations were off and that the Rapture would instead be taking place in October 2011. It didn’t. Good ole’ Harry finally decided to call it quits at the tender age of 89 (in October of 2011 , of course) and in a private interview finally decided to admit that its impossible to know when the Rapture will occur. You would think that being a God-fearing man, Harold would return the donations he received from the people he suckered into his doomsday scam, but just like the Rapture, that’s not happening either.

So as the year begins, lets not forget that magical thinking is dangerous and that common sense should not be cast aside even in moments of panic and fear. The #1 movie at the beginning of 2012, is The Devil Inside about exorcism. The main draw to this movie is the plausibility of the existence of demons and their possession of people. That’s right, in 2012, people still worry about demonic possessions. As a matter of fact, as late as 2010 the Catholic Church was training people on how to conduct exorcisms in Baltimore. Do not worry though, right down the street you too can get trained on how to get rid of the boogeyman in posh Scottsale, Arizona, by our state’s very own televangelist huckster Bob Larson. He can either help you get rid of imaginary monsters or he can teach you how to do it yourself, for a small fee of course. Never mind the fact that most “exorcisms” are the result of mental illness or seizure disorders, that could easily be explained by a competent mental health professional or neurologist. Unfortunately, for most exorcism patients in the past you can’t pray away a seizure and a little olive oil anointed on your forehead won’t get rid of your Schizophrenia.

The danger in this is not when people go and watch movies about demon possession or go and waste their money getting trained on how to use magic to deal with imaginary problems, but when people try to use magic to deal with real problems. At this point in our human existence we should not be relying on such arcane methods to solve our problems. Moreover, our political leaders should not rely on this method to handle government problems. Just ask Rick Perry how praying our economic problems worked out.

CREDIT: youtube

CAPTION: Yup, this happened.

Our economy still sucks but I guess God probably won’t bother fixing it since this is our last year here anyway.

Arnie Bermudez

“Kindereggs are the best product ever invented. Toys encased in chocolate, even drugs don’t sell that good.”- Me

El Loco Page 5 end of preview

Arnie Bermudez — Mon, 31 Jan 2011 17:30:57 +0000

The saga concludes!!! The end of the “El Loco” preview is here!!!

You can also check out the rest of the 5 pager now at your local comic book store here in Tucson.

Heroes and Villains

4533 E Broadway Blvd, Tucson, AZ (520) 321-4376

website: http://www.facebook.com/HeroesandVillainsTucson

Owner: Mike Camp

Charlie’s Comic Books

5470 E. Speedway Boulevard Suite A-107, Tucson, AZ, 85712 (520) 320-0279

website: http://www.popshoponline.com

Owner: Charlie Harris

Fantasy Comics

2595 N. 1st Ave, Tucson, AZ (520) 670-0100

website: http://www.fantasycomics2595.com/

Owner: Tom Struck

Arnie Bermudez

“That dog is a killer. She will corner you and lick your face off.”- Me

Congresswoman, citizen, friend, inspiration

Arnie Bermudez — Sun, 09 Jan 2011 03:01:09 +0000

It’s with a heavy heart that I write this blog. It’s not funny and it’s not a witty post. Today is a horrible day. A few years ago I was fortunate enough to meet many civic leaders through my job as a cartoonist and member of the Tucson Citizen Editorial Board. Although, I disagreed with many I was always very gracious for the opportunity I had to meet with them and the ability to question them over the issues concerning our society. One of those civic leaders is Gabrielle Giffords. Gabby, however, stood out from the rest of them. The quality that stuck with me about her was sincerity. Gabby, shot from the hip and was very direct, which is unusual for a politician and extremely courageous in my opinion, most politicians can’t give you a straight answer to save their lives. She was also extremely accessible. Often times she would stay after the edit board meetings and talk with the staff. Many times she joked around with me about the cartoons I drew and the caricatures I made of her. After meeting her once she remembered my name and would always call me out and greet me whenever she ran into me at a restaurant or even jogging around the park. She saw me at the Shanty once and asked if I had landed on my feet after the closing of the print edition of The Citizen. I disagreed with her political views on many aspects and I supported her a lot in others, but she was always willing to take the time and discuss them with me one on one no matter how busy she was. Other times we would just talk about random things, she gave me dating advice and I would ask her if she could ask her husband about what it was like to pee in space. When I finally summed up the courage to take a picture with her she happily obliged with one condition, that she take it arm wrestling me. I was astonished, I thought I would get the usual standing next to me pose, but Gabby’s other outstanding quality is her incredible sense of humor. Godspeed to your recovery, Gabby.

Arm wrestling the congresswoman

The current political environment in Arizona is partly to blame, as of late it has been fueled by fear and hate. Today, that pot boiled over. Today, we lost many members of our community to that fervor. Today, a woman I looked up to and admired was almost killed, her life hangs by a thread at the moment I write this.

Our legislature has made a political strategy out of targeting people, the Russell Pearces and Jan Brewers in our state have decided to not only make laws espousing fear and hatred, but a whole campaign, a movement was created and it is taking hold of our citizens. People are listening to our leaders, as misguided as their intentions may be or as untrue as their statements are, their constituency is listening. There is a rise in prominence, as of late, of hate groups and demonstrations of fear and no one is taking action and today we experienced the results. I recently saw a truck on the road between Nogales and Tucson with a Swastika on their rear windshield. JT Ready and his Neo-Nazi friends are frequently demonstrating near the capitol in Phoenix and our new President of the Arizona Senate is a close personal friend of that guy! No one is concerned!? He’s making the laws that govern our lives!! The Chicano center at the U of A was also vandalized today. Yet we have people like Sara Palin putting cross hairs on her opponents, knowing full well what that implies. The maniac that shot Gabby and killed the 9 year old girl was afraid and paranoid of his government, this was obvious from his online rants.

So am I blaming the Republicans for today’s tragedy? Yes, in part I am, mostly just the ones in our state. I’m going to take a page out of the Gabrielle Giffords play-book and be very direct. Your recent movement of ”fear the Muslims, don’t give the gays rights, persecute the Mexicans and exploit the poor” has yielded these results. Every election cycle you promote a campaign strategy of fear and hatred to win elections and get voters to the polls, well here’s proof that people are listening. You see, these people, the ones responsible for these tragic acts don’t have to be your constituents to listen to your hate speech, all they need are ears. They could be nonvoting individuals, but if they are listening to the inflammatory “news casts” of Fox “News” or the extreme right wing radio stations that you use as platforms then thats all the motivation they need. It’s rare when fear and hatred yield positive results. Maybe it’s time to rethink your strategy.

Arnie Bermudez

El Loco Page 4

Arnie Bermudez — Thu, 06 Jan 2011 07:27:54 +0000

The crazy saga continues!!!! An apology to everyone I have been a little behind on my deadlines as I was away from my computer for the holidays.

Page five will be up in 2 weeks for the conclusion of the first chapter. You can also check out the rest of the 5 pager now at your local comic book store here in Tucson.

Heroes and Villains

4533 E Broadway Blvd, Tucson, AZ (520) 321-4376

website: http://www.facebook.com/HeroesandVillainsTucson

Owner: Mike Camp

Charlie’s Comic Books

5470 E. Speedway Boulevard Suite A-107, Tucson, AZ, 85712 (520) 320-0279

website: http://www.popshoponline.com

Owner: Charlie Harris

Fantasy Comics

2595 N. 1st Ave, Tucson, AZ (520) 670-0100

website: http://www.fantasycomics2595.com/

Owner: Tom Struck

Arnie Bermudez

“Divorce, is just one more reason why people shouldn’t get married.”- Me

El Loco Page 3

Arnie Bermudez — Thu, 16 Dec 2010 05:25:16 +0000

The saga continues…

Page four will be up on the 29 of December. You can also check out the rest of the 5 page preview now at your local comic book store here in Tucson.

Heroes and Villains

4533 E Broadway Blvd, Tucson, AZ (520) 321-4376

website: http://www.facebook.com/HeroesandVillainsTucson

Owner: Mike Camp

Charlie’s Comic Books

5470 E. Speedway Boulevard Suite A-107, Tucson, AZ, 85712 (520) 320-0279

website: http://www.popshoponline.com

Owner: Charlie Harris

Fantasy Comics

2595 N. 1st Ave, Tucson, AZ (520) 670-0100

website: http://www.fantasycomics2595.com/

Owner: Tom Struck

Arnie Bermudez

“One of the many similarities between little kids and soda, is that if you shake them they both empty out their contents.”- Me

El Loco Page 2

Arnie Bermudez — Sun, 28 Nov 2010 04:26:51 +0000

The saga continues, page dos of El Loco…

Page two will be up on the 10 of December. You can also check out the rest of the 5 page preview now at your local comic book store here in Tucson.

Heroes and Villains

4533 E Broadway Blvd, Tucson, AZ (520) 321-4376

website: http://www.heroesandvillainsonline.com

Owner: Mike Camp

Charlie’s Comic Books

5470 E. Speedway Boulevard Suite A-107, Tucson, AZ, 85712 (520) 320-0279

website: http://www.popshoponline.com

Owner: Charlie Harris

Fantasy Comics

2595 N. 1st Ave, Tucson, AZ (520) 670-0100

website: http://www.fantasycomics2595.com/

Owner: Tom Struck

Arnie Bermudez

“The best defense is a good laser cannon.”- Me

“El Loco”

Arnie Bermudez — Fri, 12 Nov 2010 18:43:56 +0000

This past weekend at the Tucson Comic Con something special happened. Aside from the huge gathering of creative forces that inundated the Hotel Arizona and took over downtown. No, the special part was the debut of “El Loco”. A project I had been working on with my friend and writer Henry Barajas. He had been hounding me about working on a project together for a while. For whatever reason the stars had not aligned and I just wasn’t available, then Russell Pierce and Jan Brewer hooked up and gave birth to the malformed and degenerate, inbred conservative child that is SB1070. Then Henry called again and pitched me a story. A Hispanic, field-working superhero. As we spoke at Chipotle, of all places, he explained the origin and his concept for the character. Well, that lit a fire under my behind, and regardless of freelance projects, side gigs, nine-to-fives, trips, relatives visiting, I hunkered down and worked on Henry’s story. I must say it was one of the most invogorating things I have ever done. The project was a success and we were able to debut a 5 page mini at the con to a great response. Every two weeks I will post a page up here and keep it going. Here is an article about El Loco written at ComicBookTherapy.com. There is also a video interview done by KGUN here. That’s right we was on the “telly”. Anyway, enough bragging, here it is, enjoy.

Page two will be up on the 26 of November. You can also check out the rest of the 5 page preview now at your local comic book store here in Tucson.

Heroes and Villains

4533 E Broadway Blvd, Tucson, AZ (520) 321-4376

website: http://www.heroesandvillainsonline.com

Owner: Mike Camp

Charlie’s Comic Books

5470 E. Speedway Boulevard Suite A-107, Tucson, AZ, 85712 (520) 320-0279

website: http://www.popshoponline.com

Owner: Charlie Harris

Fantasy Comics

2595 N. 1st Ave, Tucson, AZ (520) 670-0100

website: http://www.fantasycomics2595.com/

Owner: Tom Struck

Arnie Bermudez

“That guy very much reminds me of myself, back when I was younger and less awesome.”- Me

My summer school math class mixed martial arts connection

Arnie Bermudez — Sun, 24 Oct 2010 08:14:38 +0000

I have always been terrible at math. So much so, that my mother made me go to summer school several times to improve on it. We lived in a rough neighborhood in Yuma, Arizona with low income, predominantly Mexican-American families. It was riddled with gangbangers and drugs. It was also filled with hard working, labor centric people usually, farm workers. Needless to say the kids growing up there did not have much of a chance, and very little resources. Back when I was 11 and known as “Arnulfo” (what Arnie is short for), I found myself surrounded by them in my summer school math class with Mr. Baumgardner at C.W. McGraw Elementary School. I hated the class, so I spent most of the time drawing superheroes. A table away sat a gentle giant of a kid by the name of Efrain and his younger brother whom I didn’t care for too much because he was always mouthing off and acting up. During the course of the summer I befriended Efrain and got to know him. I avoided his brother though, I figured the kid would end up being a cholo or something of a sort. Eventually, I ended up helping Efrain with his math and much to my chagrin, his annoying younger brother. His brother was very bad at math, he made me look like Einstein, in fact. Moreover, the kid would not pay attention and seemed more displeased than myself to be there. I learned from talking to Efrain that we would be attending Gila Vista Jr. High School the following year in 7th grade. I learned from his brother that I have no patience for troublemakers.

The next year I was pleased to see Efrain sitting in my social studies class with Mr. Gribble. I also took up wrestling at a paltry 90 lbs. I ended up being a second stringer and saw Efrain get into it as well. He was a heavy weight and did pretty well. In 8th grade I stopped going because I was working under the table cleaning a barbershop and had to be at work at 4p.m. and my parents believed a good work ethic was more important than being a “luchador.”

Time passed and I ended up in Kofa High School, again, with Efrain. I saw less of him, but found out he joined football and wrestling. He slimmed down and was wearing a letterman jacket now. He ditched the flannels and Dickies and got himself a pair of Doc Martens and Dockers. I was glad he was on what seemed to be a positive track for his life. My sophomore year, I heard his brother had made it to Kofa High School. I cringed and hoped I wouldn’t have him for any electives. Later on, I heard he also took up wrestling, and was even better than Efrain. I was shocked, seeing as how wrestling took a large amount of discipline and that kid seemed not only to lack it, but to avoid it at all costs. I then attended the Uof A and lost track of Efrain and most of my Yuma friends. I had heard from my good friend, Robert, that Efrain’s brother ended up at ASU on a wrestling scholarship. I was quite pleased, and surprised that he even got to college. But, more so because he could have ended up in the local gang. Then I heard rumblings that he had lost the scholarship due to injury. I figured, oh well, at least he made it out of the bad neighborhood and got an education.

Fast-forward to today, I haven’t heard from Efrain in over 10 years, but I saw his brother Saturday night. He now has a couple of tattoos, a shaved head, is a whole lot bigger and gets in a lot of fights. What was he doing? Well he was beating the living crap out of this guy:

Brock Lesnar former UFC Heavy Weight Champ Photo by: Eric Jamison, AP USA Today

Efrain’s little brother is Cain Velasquez the new UFC heavy weight champ.

Efrain's little brother Cain Velasquez By Neil Davidson, The Canadian Press via AP, USA Today

In what appears to be the most amazing display of mixed martial arts technical skill, the much smaller and lighter Cain demolished the seemingly unstoppable, hulking behemoth that is Brock Lesnar in the first round. Being at a considerable disadvantage when it came to strength and size, Cain maneuvered and attacked Lesner from every possible angle. Lesner tried to take Velasquez down from the onset of the match, but Cain defended and deflected every attempt. Landing punch after punch and managing to take Lesnar down via a single leg shot. Eventually, the hulking behemoth became the lumbering giant as he wobbled around in the cage and fell on his back and “turtled up.” Cain was connecting so much that Lesnar turned his back on him right before referee Herb Dean had to step in and stop the fight. The result was a new UFC champion from the state of Arizona. A guy from Yuma that I begrudgingly helped out with his math and went to high school with. The first Mexican-American UFC champ. A poor kid with minimal resources wearing a championship belt from one of the toughest combat sports. A heavy weight, champion son of a farm working immigrant who came to the U.S. in search of a better life. A guy who did the impossible. I wish I could have been watching this in Yuma.

To Cain, thanks for proving me wrong and not becoming a cholo, I doubt the Yuma PD would have the resources to take you on. May you continue to succeed and inspire.

Arizonans rejoice, something good finally came out of this hostile environment we call a state.

To the people that say immigrants don’t amount to much and don’t contribute, this guy now contributes more to the U.S. economy in income taxes than most of you ever will, you can thank his dad, the immigrant.

Arnie Bermudez

“The best piece of advice I ever got was to buy a black suit when I became an adult, because I would use it at least once if I ever happened to get married…or die. Either way, it was a good investment.”-Me

New billboard campaign to help foster understanding “I’m a M…”

Arnie Bermudez — Fri, 15 Oct 2010 07:49:33 +0000

You have probably seen the billboards all around town. Possibly, when you are driving to work or taking the kids to school. Some may think advertising for a select group of people that share the same beliefs and culture is a little agressive and over the top and maybe even unecessary. But lets be honest, if you are not a part of them you probably have often wondered what they are really like. How many times have you wondered what they do inside their buildings where they gather and worship? Or what’s the deal with their funny clothing? Or whats with their special holidays? Or how about their odd festivities and celebrations? How about the fact they are all about the traditional family? And even the stereotype about having lots of kids? Like any red blooded American who has ever listened to Glenn Beck speak or even been to the Mesa Arizona area you have probably been the least bit curious about this group of people that make up such a significant part of our society. One of these folks even made an attempt to run for President in the last election. Well, wonder no more my fellow Americans for a new movement is underway in order to clear up any curiosities, misunderstandings and stereotypes that you may have about this sect of American society.

New campaign to help people realize Mexicans are just regular folks and not a weird religious cult.

Due to the frustration brought on as a result of SB 1070 many people have been left wondering what to do in order to put persecuters, I mean, supporters of the law at ease and foster understanding about Mexicans. This campaign also involves a website, Mexican.org, where people can go and find out about Mexicans and where Mexicans can go post a mug shot profile picture and register to ease tracking and status understanding and promote tolerance.

Arnie Bermudez

“I ran for 30 minutes the other day, then I came to the realization that I am old enough to drive now.” – Me

* Before I get hunted down by any Jon Justice fans, Minute Men, Sheriff Babeu, Lou Dobbs, The Republican Party, Russell Pearce, Jan Brewer, The Tea Party or The KKK, this is intended for humor and entertainment and is a total parody of the “I’m a Mormon” ads, and not actually real.

Arizona’s possible new slogans inspired by Jan Brewer

Arnie Bermudez — Sat, 04 Sep 2010 02:11:18 +0000

Watching the Gubernatorial debates has inspired me. Jan Brewer’s amazing performance left me thinking, you know Arizona doesn’t need a whole lot that a good slogan can’t fix. In fact, if we just adopt a new slogan that is not as ambiguous as “the Grand Canyon State,” I mean really that could be anywhere, all our problems would go away. People would realize that we are not ill-intentioned just misunderstood, and that our governor isn’t an imbecile but that’s just how we done did speak here, with long awkward pauses. So I took the liberty to come up with a few feel free to add your own.

Jan Brewer

Arizona where a good debate tactic is long awkward moments of silence.

Arizona where things CAN get worse.

Arizona where being 49th in education is a good thing.

Arizona where the Governor persecutes people with accents for their lack of English comprehension when she herself has yet to master the English language.

Arizona where Democrats look like Republicans.

Arizona doing what no other state has ever did.

Arizona even our congressman boycotts us.

Arizona the south of the west. They have Blacks we have Mexicans. They have Nathaniel Bedford Forrest we have Joe Arpaio. They have the Klan we have our legislature.

Arizona we won’t speak Spanish because English is hard enough.

Arnie Bermudez

“I don’t sneeze on people, I just baptize them with my essence in aerosol form. Bless me? No, no bless you, my child. BOOYAH!!!