I know I’ve been very inactive recently, mostly due to my daytime job and the freelance projects I have to turn in under deadline so the blog takes a back seat.  Recently, I was alerted to a very important film showing here in the Old Pueblo.  The film was done by local director Luis Carlos Davis and is being shown at different film festivals and has garnered plenty of attention due to the current political climate that we are currently in. The title: 389 Miles “Living the Border” .

The film will be screening at the University of Arizona at the Gallagher Theater September 8th. The film has already created plenty of buzz in several film festivals and won the Audience Award for Best Film at the Puerto Vallarta International Film Festival. Go enjoy and take a friend, a relative, a member of congress or your governor (Jan Brewer I’m talking to you).  In fact, all jokes aside, if you are involved in government and are making laws about immigration it is your responsibiity to go see this film. Republicans and Democrats, liberals and conservatives go get informed and check it out, if anything at least to see the human smuggler that conducts his interview in a Lucha Libre mask.

UPDATE: The showing will be at the Gallagher theater at the U of A on Wednesday September 8, 2010 at 7:00 p.m. and its absolutely free!!!!

Arnie Bermudez

“You should only wear white jeans on certain occasions, like if its 1987.” – Me telling my brother why he shouldn’t wear white jeans.

The internet is a wonderful thing.  It really levels the playing field for everybody. I like to surf the net like Ted Haggard likes male prostitutes. I do it all the time because you never know what interesting bits of information you are going to find.  The internet really offers true equality, which is really hard to find. People are always talking about it, but seldom is it really attained. Oh there are degrees of equality, but not true equality. This always bothered me because its just another way of saying “separate but equal.” What happens when somebody speaks up about true equality is that they get labeled a socialist nowadays.  It is more sickening when our community leaders are the ones practicing this separate but equal ideology and when they are pressed about it they still claim its true equality. It’s usually the privileged that have a hard time accepting equality, because if we were all equal they would no longer be privileged.  This week while I was trolling the internet I found a pretty interesting clip in my email from a Netroots Nation conference that took place not too long ago. The video features a speech by our favorite privileged crooning councilman Rodney Glassman.  Rodney is seen here espousing his achievements and talking about how proud he is of all of that fluff, before someone in the audience calls him out.

“Are you proud to oppose marriage equality?” is what the audience member asks Mr. Glassman.  It was obvious that Rodney was not aware of what the guy was asking and stops and gives him his attention because everyone is saying “let him speak”. Once Rodney realizes that the guy is pressing him on being against gay marriage, he immediately continues as if that guy had never existed. The next words out of his mouth should infuriate anyone that believes in equal rights for all, Glassman says “I am proud of my track record on equality”. Unless you’re gay of course or atheist. He very cleverly left out the word “marriage” because he doesn’t believe in marriage equality.  Glassman has gone on record saying that when it comes to gay marriage, he believes the word marriage belongs to the religious institutions.

So, in his mind you should only be allowed to marry if you are religious, therefore if you don’t believe in a god you’re screwed out of marriage as well. If marriage is regulated by the religious institutions he doesn’t have to stand up against inequality because he has a cop out in that he can just say they can do that since it is part of their religion. Go Rodney!!! Sheesh. How regressive can you get? What’s next, “women belong in the kitchen”?

Arnie Bermudez

“I was born in 1981. You didn’t hear about that?” -Me talking about the best year ever

I never thought I would see the day when Hannibal Lecter would be the father of all Norse gods. Yet the Hollywood gods prove to be more powerful and made it happen. Anthony Hopkins will appear as Odin in the upcoming Thor movie which so far from the promotional material looks good. Chris Hemsworth is playing Thor and Tom Hiddleston is Loki, thats the guy in the green cape below.

Image courtesy the L.A. Times

I just have two gripes: 1) Where the hell are the helmets?  2) The leather pants don’t mesh well with the classic look armor and cape.  This may be attributed to the fact that they are trying to merge the regular continuity look with the Ultimate version of Thor, but it just doesn’t seem to work. See, they took the following two versions:

In order to come up with this.

Movie Thor

The result is a mish mash of the classic under armor, cape, and Mjolnir (the hammer) with the leather pants, beard, boots, glowing chest plates and helmetless look of the ultimate Thor. I know I’m jumping the gun and it may look great in the movie,but really why wear a cape unless he uses it to glide like Batman. It looks out of place. However, Marvel Studios has done great work so far so I a not too concerned. Ultimately, the goal is to merge the Hulk, Ironman, Captain America and Thor here in one big movie called The Avengers. We’ll see how this all plays out.

Arnie Bermudez

“My best friend peed on a fire once. Turns out pee vaporizes and gets carried downwind into tents. Lesson: Never pitch your tent downwind from the camp fire.” -Me

With all these laws being made to target specific groups of people I thought I would join in as well. Why should I let Russell Pearce and
Jan Brewer

Jan Brewer

 have all the fun? So I decided,  you know what? We should deport some folks and actually start cleaning this place up. So, without further ado here are the people I think we should deport, yes I realize some of these people might be legal citizens, but I’m only crafting my legislature in the same style that Mr. Pearce is. First off, on the chopping block is:

Anyone that sags their pants: That look only works in prison when you are keistering your lifeline or your method of currency. Plus, word on the streets is that the inmates find the sagging pants look extremely sexy.

Cholos:Whats a “cholo”  you say? Basically, its a Mexican-American hoodlum. They usually belong to a gang represented by basic colors like blue or red and they are not Republicans or Democrats.   Why should we deport them? Well, first of all they sag their pants and I already covered that. More importantly they are a walking stereotype. Thanks to these people, laws like SB 1070 get made and I get deported by mistake.  Moreover, Impalas and all kinds of trucks are getting desecrated with tiny wheels and hydraulics that make cars hop for no reason. Just get regular sized rims. Engineers go through several years of training to design these cars, they know what size tires you’re supposed to have on your car. Besides, jumping cars should have a purpose, like KITT in Knightrider. Also, hairnets are for the restaurant industry. Cholos will usually use the words “orale,” ”ese,” ”vato,” or “loco.” In fact, that was a sentence. Deportation would help them fully comprehend the Spanish language.

The KKK:Yes, the Klan. I don’t care if  they consider themselves separatists,  white civil rights leaders, white nationalists or ethnic purists, they’re still racist.  The Klan is just as bad as the Taliban only with less melanin.  My reasoning for deporting them is not their bigoted beliefs. No, the folks in bed sheets get deported for the simple fact that they are stupid. That’s right, when you tout your superiority over others, but can’t spell the word “clan” correctly you need to be shown the exit as well as a spelling book. Seriously, how hard is it to update your name to the KKC? That’s probably how it’s spelled in “Uh-merican.”

Religious Fundamentalists/ Extremists: Bible thumpers, Quran thumpers, Torah thumpers, and any other big book thumpers need to go. Don’t get this confused with religious folk. I have no problem with people worshipping, do as you wish. The problem arises when those beliefs are forced upon the rest of society.  It gets even more troublesome when fundamentalists try to claim it as science or try to make legislature based on their faith. Look, I understand you don’t believe in evolution, or that you have 72 virgins waiting for you, but most of us believe other things, otherwise you would see us on Sunday, so just let us be. Extremists hold humanity back, so aside from deporting them to another country I would say how about deporting them to another world? Maybe we can find a world where evolution, physics, temptation, and common sense don’t exist. Sounds like  heaven huh?

Homophobes:  Aside from the fact that they promote discrimination, homophobes should be deported because they caused my home state lots of money. Yes, I’m still peeved that we blew a huge money making opportunity and Mexico jumped on it. It’s almost like we don’t like tourism here. We had  a chance to have an exclusive revenue stream and the homophobes came out in droves to the polls and voted it down. Had we approved gay marriage, gay couples from every corner of the U.S. and world would be traveling here and honeymooning in the Grand Canyon or Sedona leaving their hard earned cash in our state. Instead, homophobes stood against capitalism and further contributed to our debt. Anyone who doesn’t want to move us forward economically needs to be shown the door. We are in a recession people.

Stephenie Meyer: She is a resident of Arizona. Why should she be deported? Well, for coming up with this steaming pile of crap.  

Another great gift from the state of Arizona.

Arnie Bermudez  

“I need to practice being old, so that when old age sets in, I’m good at it.” -Me

Disclaimer: This is a humor blog please don’t go hunting down KKK members, cholos or Stephanie Meyer they tend to be violent types and could probably hurt you.

Mr. Glassman delivered a decent speech, very polished, in fact, too much. It’s obvious that he is running against John McCain.    

I am always amped to go see candidates and politicians talk, I don’t particularly care for most politicians but its always fun to sift through the lies and try to decode their double talk and evasive answers. Its like a ”Where’s Waldo” book of lies.  I have never liked flaky indecisive people, which is why I am so disappointed in McCain. Unfortunately, to my dismay Rodney seemed to be playing the same game.  I found it quite intriguing that a candidate with his vast amount of wealth is asking for contributions this early in the game, the guy is loaded. He bought an RV for crying out loud. Being the ignorant buffoon that I am, I am probably wrong on this, but it seems to me that if you have the coin to spend on 5 UA degrees (most people can’t afford ONE), an RV and wrap it up with your name, a previous campaign (city council yes, I am aware he got some donations then too), he could at least fund his primary race.  I know McCain has about as much money as Uncle Scrooge so he would probably need contributions then.

Immigration part 1 (10:05)
A member of the audience asks him about his Arizona Illustrated appearance and the question asked by Jim Nintzel3 separate times. What Mr. Nintzel was trying to ask was if deportation to the country of origin was going to be part of his solution. Mr. Glassman says it would be “illogical,” ”we need to enforce the laws,” “they need to get to the back of the line.”  He did offer other solutions, but not once did he deny deportation. He did the same when this member of the audience asked the question. In fact, he took it a step further, and blamed the audience member for not understanding and further avoiding having to give a straight answer. In the world of professional psychics this tactic is called “repackaging,” meaning you take the information you were given and rephrase it making the person believe it was you that came to that conclusion. Its also used to turn “misses” (wrong guesses) into “hits” (correct guesses). It basically goes like this, “I’m not wrong, you just misunderstood.”

Immigration part 2 (15:31)
He is asked about SB1070 and this time he doesn’t even let the audience member finish and again repackages and blames the audience member for not understanding. The bold audience member presses on, however, and states that he understands that Glassman does “not support” SB1070, but he specifically wants to know if he “opposes” it. Meaning will he fight it if need be. This requires a straight answer from the candidate. Mr. Glassman dismissed it as “semantics”.  Not supporting something doesn’t mean you are going to fight against it. This is never more obvious than in war time, many times the U.S. has taken that stance we don’t support a conflict, but we also don’t get involved and try to fight against it and stop it. We just let it carry on. At 16:32 an obviously frustrated Glassman just says “next question”. Yet, the audience member, not satisfied with his dismissive answer pressed on and then Glassman lost crowd control for the first time at 16:45.

Former staff tries to save him (20:42)
I can only guess that seeing how bad he was doing with the immigration issue someone decided to throw him a bone. This someone was Katie Bolgera former staff member and council aid for Rodney Glassman tried to divert attention towards other topics such as the environment and economy. Why not let the unfamiliar audience members ask the questions?  This is also a tactic used by tricksters and magicians when they plant a member of their staff in the audience to help them carry out an illusion.

Gay Marriage (25:28)
Probably the most important moment but most unnoticed.  The most important part of communicating with a politician is to listen to what they are NOT saying. At this point, another member of the audience asks him about gay marriage. He specifically says not “unions” and not “partnerships” but “marriage”. Again like the immigration question Rodney deflected by citing his generous contributions to the LGBT community and how he is on record saying that the word “marriage” belongs to the religious institutions.  This answer is a MONUMENTAL cop-out, here’s why. The LGBT community is fighting for equal rights, not similar rights, not new rights, but equal. Also, there are the atheists members of our community that want to get married and have been able to. Leaving it up to the religious institutions means atheists can no longer get married and that the LGBT community will have a harder time getting married and not be protected under the law, because then it would not be the responsibility of the government to marry people. Furthermore, what about the LGBT atheists? He does a good job reminding us of his record, but not ONCE does he say members of the LGBT community should be allowed to be married. Its basically separate but equal, you’re allowed to drink water you just have to use a different fountain. Its highly condescending and insulting. He then name drops Karen Uhlich,

Debate (time 29:07)
The next problem is when he says he wants all people “to have a seat at the table,” a great idea, except when that table is at a debate. I know, I know he said he would have a debate before the primary is over, but did you catch the part where he says he’s in negotiations with “credible” organizations? Mr. Glassman has been invited to debate by balls to the wall Democratic candidate and reporter John Dougherty and has yet to answer him. Is he not “credible” then? If he is in negotiations with Mr. Dougherty why not just say so? For a guy that boasts his record of working with others he sure has been doing great job ducking his fellow democratic candidates. Its a very passive-aggressive move on his part.

Immigration part 3  (time 29:51)
This is where things went haywire yet again. David Morales decided to ask a question on where the “back of the line is?” More specifically “is it in Mexico?” When Rodney could not give him a straight answer Mr. Morales pressed him to answer with a “yes or a no.” I am not going to side with either on this one, but Glassman lost crowd control again, on the same issue and it wasn’t immigration. The issue I am referring to is dodging the question and trying to get away with a roundabout answer.  He could have shut Morales down by just answering with a “yes” or a “no”. Instead, in frustration Rodney chose to dismiss him by falling back on the “next question” reply. Which had he learned from his previous time is very unproductive. Again he was pressed and his supporters said he said “no” but Mr. Glassman never said that, he said it would be ”illogical” it’s a subtle but very evasive maneuver.  Moreover, if he runs against McCain or Hayworth, guys like Morales will be a dime a dozen and they will be worse than Morales. Glassman needs to be prepared with more than just dismissive tactics and evasive rhetoric, because at this point if he wins and goes up against McCain, my vote will go to the broken maverick and not the crooning councilman.

In closing, I was a little disappointed with Rodney Glassman, he was mildly impressive when he was running for council due to his novelty. I made exceptions to his blunders because of his inexperience. This time around he is still at the same level he was 2 years ago despite all his resources he has not significantly improved and is playing with the same deck he had before. I was leaning towards his competition already, but after this, I am now officially endorsing Randy Parraz.

 Arnie Bermudez

“I didn’t ride the bus to school. I had a big yellow limo with a retractable stop sign come pick me up.”  -Me

*Who do you think you are **I think I'm the manager and your boss.

Arnie Bermudez

“Before the telephone people communicated over long distances by writing and sending messages. These were called “letters”. Then the telephone was invented and people could communicate over long distances by speaking their messages. Then came the cellphone and some how we regressed to writing and sending messages over long distances using a device that was originally conceived for speaking. These are called “texts”.  And I hate them” -Me on why I hate texting

In 1999, I used to space-out in Ms. Stadler’s first period algebra class and stare at this hokey educational poster that read “Stand up for what is right, even if you’re standing alone.” I used to picture Superman in his iconic stance with his hands on his hips.

The last son of Krypton protecting the weak and fighting for justice. That image and saying stayed with me till this day. It’s very hard doing what is right and its even harder to do it alone because our society lives by “majority rules.”  In fact, thats how we make our laws and elect our presidents. However, just because the majority agrees that doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do. At one point the majority agreed that black people should be slaves, in another time in our history it was ok to persecute and kill people that the majority believed to be witches. The point being, it’s hard to go against the majority when you are the only one that is right. No wonder Superman keeps a secret identity. I’ve tried doing the right thing when I am the only one and I usually get crap for it.  So it’s really, really, really hard to be altruisitic sometimes.  It’s even harder to be Superman, yes, I’ve tried.

Recently, however, I got the chance to meet a guy that gets pretty close. A real guy, not an actor or a nut trying to fly, but a man trying to do the right thing. His job is to protect those that need protecting and to fight for justice.  However, he doesn’t stop when he clocks out, no this guy keeps it going even off duty.  In fact, he kinda looks like Superman too.  Big, strong boy scout that dresses in blue, police blue that is. The man I am referring to is Officer Martin Escobar. Police officer by day, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu master by night and a 24/7 defender of justice.

He even stands like Superman.

Unlike, the man of steel though, he is not taking on Lex Luthor. No this gentleman is taking on a far more nefarious nemesis… the state of Arizona. When the whole SB1070 fiasco came about, people rallied and protested, others left, an even larger majority said “what are we going to do?’  Martin Escobar DID something.  At the risk of losing friends, akin to brothers in the police force, and becoming an outcast in his own profession, he decided to stand up for what is right even if it meant he would be doing it alone. His plan: to sue the state of Arizona.  He’s probably going to get loads if money if he wins, that should be motivation enough, after all he is suing a state, right?  Sadly, no, Mr. Escobar will not recieve any monetary compensation if he wins, the only reward will be that this law gets repealed. In fact he will probably lose lots of money since he is doing this out of pocket. His main reason is that as a police officer this law forces him and other officers to use racial profiling in order to enforce it.  Many, have criticized his efforts and even mocked the humble policeman for his plight, but despite this he carried on. Can you imagine what his life would be like if he wore a cape and his undies over his pants? No respect whatsoever.  His efforts garnered so much attention that CNN decided to interview him.  So much has this man achieved on his own that the city of Tucson has now decided to be a co-plaintiff on his law suit. He’s not so alone now, Lex Brewer.

As a result, I could not help but track this man down and intrview him myself, I must admit the man made me nervous. It was like meeting, well, your hero.  And since The Citizen can now handle the cutting edge of video tech known as YouTube I decided to do it on video.

And because I am an equal opportunity blogger and believe that our non-English speaking citizens (yes, Sheriff Arpaio and Senator Pierce, we have Spanish only citizens) should understand this man’s opinion here it is in Español.

Officer Escobar did an english version of this video too but it was too large to upload. I will add it as soon as I can find a way to compress it and post it up on here.

Arnie Bermudez

“I don’t need offspring, just clones, that way the margin of error is non-existant.” -me

You ever meet someone who pretends to know you but you know they don’t? I have and it brings my pee to a boil. This mostly happens with politicians regardless of political party, truly a bipartisan gesture. I don’t mind it from the bigger guns like McCain

or even Grijalva

they meet loads of people and I realize I am a nobody, but I do expect more from our local politicians, especially ones I run into over and over again. A perfect example of this is Gabby Giffords  although shes a congresswoman in Washington, she always remembers my name when I run into her in town. I may disagree with the lady on many things, but to her credit she always remembers who I am and the one time she didn’t she politely asked me to remind her who I was.

Rodney Glassman, unfortunately, does not share that trait. Instead, like Sammy Jankis from the movie Memento he pretends, smiles, shakes my hand and says “hey there” in a vacuous, yet friendly tone. Mr. Glassman has been gunning for a career in politics for a long time now.   From working with congressman  Grijalva at the age of 23 to his recent venture as Ward 2 council member and second fiddle to “nice guy” Mayor Bob Walkup.  Rodney did a lot of good while in the City Council by pushing for environmentally friendly legislation and encouraging the development of Family Friendly Weekends downtown. Sadly, it seemed from the get-go that Mr. Glassman was not in this to make Tucson a better place by serving his city, but to launch his political career with the Old Pueblo serving as the Old Stepping Stone.  Rodney and his family are also loaded, the only thing that seems to surpass the size of his financial resources is his ego. Herein lies the problem, most of our government is run by career politicians who are filthy rich.  Men and women who have made their money by taking advantage of the poor and desperate. They later take this wealth and use it to get into power and further push their agenda, just look at our presidents, Obama included.  For the last 30 years the guy with the most money wins the election. What, you thought it was the votes?

So when I heard our very own crooning councilman was running for the senate, I cringed. The problem is two-fold, really. Senator McCain, another rich guy who I happened to respect due to his ability to see beyond party lines and actually be a vertebrate is now, sadly, losing touch and not performing as efficiently as he once did. In fact, the only thing that interests me about McCain is his daughter Meghan. She’s hot enough to make me want to move to Phoenix, despite it being you know, Phoenix. Due to the senator’s lackluster performance, Republican J.D. Hayworth, a Rush Limbaugh wanna-be has decided to run against him in the primary. If he wins, Arizona will regress from the hillbilly state that it now finds itself to be, into a knuckle-dragging paradise. The second problem is if Glassman wins. For all of the good he has done he has a longer track record of bumbling things up and using his extensive finances to bully people and get his way, so much so that The Tucson Weekly put him on their Get Out Of Town! list in December 2003. In another occasion Mr. Glassman was called a “liability” to the Grijalva campaign by the congressman himself.  So I was faced with a huge dilemma: pick between a broken Maverick, a hateful talk radio host, or a spoiled rich kid who solves problems by throwing money them.  Then something miraculous happened, a viable candidate that I could actually respect emerged, and no, it wasn’t Rudy Garcia. Say “hello” to Randy Parraz.

Sorry I haven't made a caricature of him yet.

I was told by a friend that I had to go see this guy speak.  Luckily, for me  he was having a gathering at La Fuente here in Tucson. At first, I must admit, I was very skeptical of this guy and figured he’s just another politician. The more he talked, however, the more I realized this guy was someone that was actually out to make a change in his community. Then I started to chuckle, this poor delusional man. Randy I found out comes from an activist and organizer background, he’s worked with labor unions and even got arrested by Sheriff Joe Arpaio for protesting. This guy clearly had a screw loose. Then he spoke about what prompted him to run, SB1070.  He reminded the crowd about Sheriff Pritchard’s indifferent attitude towards African Americans back during the civil rights movement. How this was not just an issue that you could just throw money at and expect a solution. More importantly that this was about choosing the right candidate for the times we live in. That was the clincher for me. I realized that’s what bugged me about the other candidates, regardless of party, they were all out of touch or irrelevant to the times we are living in. This guy, on the other hand seemed to get it and he seemed to be using intellect as his guiding force. Progress is never a bad thing in my book.  Parraz has a long way to go though, he lacks funding and notoriety. He is also starting a little late and by the time the primaries roll around his name may not have reached as far as that of the other candidates.

Arnie Bermudez

“Ever noticed how the most homophobic dudes are the same ones that shower in a group (i.e. convicts, soldiers and jocks)?” -Me on the irony of homophobes