New campaign to help people realize Mexicans are just regular folks and not a weird religious cult.

Arnie Bermudez

“I ran for 30 minutes the other day, then I came to the realization that I am old enough to drive now.” – Me

* Before I get hunted down by any Jon Justice fans, Minute Men, Sheriff Babeu, Lou Dobbs, The Republican Party, Russell Pearce, Jan Brewer, The Tea Party or The KKK, this is intended for humor and entertainment and is a total parody of the “I’m a Mormon” ads, and not actually real.

Jan Brewer

Arizona where a good debate tactic is long awkward moments of silence.

Arizona where things CAN get worse.

Arizona where being 49th in education is a good thing.

Arizona where the Governor persecutes people with accents for their lack of English comprehension when she herself has yet to master the English language.

Arizona where Democrats look like Republicans.

Arizona doing what no other state has ever did.

Arizona even our congressman boycotts us.

Arizona the south of the west. They have Blacks we have Mexicans. They have Nathaniel Bedford Forrest we have Joe Arpaio. They have the Klan we have our legislature.

Arizona we won’t speak Spanish because English is hard enough.

Arnie Bermudez

“I don’t sneeze on people, I just baptize them with my essence in aerosol form. Bless me? No, no bless you, my child. BOOYAH!!!

Elvis Presley movies were always pretty entertaining, even for a kid growing up during the Ronald Reagan action packed days of the 1980′s. They were always lacking in one area, though… MONSTER HUNTING!!! Fortunately, my prayers have been answered, unfortunately, Elvis is no longer making movies on account of a bad case of death. That’s where “King!” comes in. A very comical story, told in comic book form (can this get any better?) that focuses on the exploits and adventures of an undefeated-prowrestler-turned-bounty-hunter. As if that weren’t enough excitement, he’s not just any bounty hunter, he’s a MONSTER bounty hunter. That’s right, he hunts monsters. My fantasy fulfilled. Only it DOES get better. Turns out that one of the genius minds behind this project is a local and native Tucsonan by the name of Daniel Bradford. Mr. Bradford also happens to be a former University of Arizona Daily Wildcat Cartoonist who gained acclaim for his Calvin and Hobbes-like strip “Bedhead“.  I was granted the honor of interviewing Daniel and reminiscing about the our old Wildcat days. The following is a brief interview with Daniel about his upcoming project.

1) Arnie Bermudez: Give me some background, man. Whats the deal with this project?

Daniel Bradford: “I was born and raised in Tucson and studied art at the University of Arizona. I started working on this project with a writer from New Jersey by the name of Tom Hall. He is the easiest and best writer I have ever worked with, because he gives me lots of creative freedom to work with on the page. For example, this project’s format will follow a 4 page main story and a 4 page backup story. He’s awesome when it comes to that sort of thing he is very detail oriented. Ninety percent of his work is research material, he’s hardcore about background. “King!” is our second title and very different from our first, Robot 13. King is absurd humor, it’s the book you can read on the crapper. The character is not Elvis just an undefeated professional wrestler by the name of Jessie King who dresses up like Elvis and gets into ounty hunting monsters.  The first issue can be read as a stand alone issue.”

King! cover drawn by Daniel Bradford

2) How did your old Bedhead strip influence your work here? After all, it was a strip about a boy and his imaginary zombie friend.

“I have always had a strong interest in zombies. Zombies are fun and easy to work with. With “Beadhead” I have a serious history and am very sentimental about it. It mostly taught me how to work with a schedule and taught me things like pacing using panels and frames. King only fights zombies in the first issue, in the second one he fights vampires.”

King! page 14King! page 16

  3) Where can we get a hold of “King!”?

“You can get a copy of it at our website http://www.blackliststudios.com/ . You can also get a copy of Robot 13  #1 for free there and download the rest of the series. I will be having a double signing at Fantasy Comics September 9th 2010, a Thursday. The first is at 11:30-1:00 p.m. and later that day at 4:00-5:30 p.m. Print versions of the comic will be carried by Fantasy Comics as well.”

4) How did you come up with this idea?

“I always had an idea of a character that looked like Elvis. For the record, I have never seen Bubba Ho-tep, eventhough I love Bruce Campbell. I think I was in high school when I first read a review about  Bubba Ho-tep in the Tucson Weekly. I have always had an interest in an action hero that looked like Elvis. During a phone conversation, I told my writer “we should do a book about a guy that looks like Elvis and fights monsters”. There was a long awkward silence on the other end of the line, he then proceeded to change the subject. A couple of years later at a convention I brought it up again, and he said “remind me of that again”. So  I drew a sketch and emailed it, he then called back and said ”oh he looks like Elvis and fights monsters!” ”

King! page 19

5) Will you be at the Tucson Comic Con? What do you think of the local comic scene?  Very different from our old college days, huh?

“I will be there! I am absolutely thrilled with the about the Tucson comic community, it’s absolutely wonderful and I love it. Arizona is full of comic creators like John Layman the creator of Chew, Todd McFarlane and such live in Phoenix. I am excited just to know that the Tucson art scene is growing into comics, a lot of underground comics are coming to light which is helping that growth.”

King! masterminds Tom Hall and Daniel Bradford

Arnie Bermudez

“Contrary to popular belief practice does NOT make perfect, my parents do.” -Me

It’s a good thing I’m not allowed to curse on this blogsite, because after the results from the primary elections I really want to just write a blog full of four letter words. Mostly because the senatorial race comes down to these two guys.

Rodney Glassman

John McCain

 The problem is this, we are left to choose between the old guy that tells you stories about walking up the hill  to get to and from school and the moron who sat next to you and breezed through school because his dad paid for the new gym. Well, come November I will become the Independent many voters fear, you know the type, the one that splits the vote.  The one Democrats blamed for Gore losing against Bush, because they voted for Nader. Come November, Dems, I’m voting for Johnny Mac.  McCain may be out of touch and supports SB1070 but at least he’s upfront about being a jerk, where Rodney will deny it and fake it. At least McCain is predictable.  

Arnie Bermudez  

“My kitchen isn’t “cute,” it’s “manly”. We painted that wall with testosterone.” -Me defending my man-cave

I know I’ve been very inactive recently, mostly due to my daytime job and the freelance projects I have to turn in under deadline so the blog takes a back seat.  Recently, I was alerted to a very important film showing here in the Old Pueblo.  The film was done by local director Luis Carlos Davis and is being shown at different film festivals and has garnered plenty of attention due to the current political climate that we are currently in. The title: 389 Miles “Living the Border” .

The film will be screening at the University of Arizona at the Gallagher Theater September 8th. The film has already created plenty of buzz in several film festivals and won the Audience Award for Best Film at the Puerto Vallarta International Film Festival. Go enjoy and take a friend, a relative, a member of congress or your governor (Jan Brewer I’m talking to you).  In fact, all jokes aside, if you are involved in government and are making laws about immigration it is your responsibiity to go see this film. Republicans and Democrats, liberals and conservatives go get informed and check it out, if anything at least to see the human smuggler that conducts his interview in a Lucha Libre mask.

UPDATE: The showing will be at the Gallagher theater at the U of A on Wednesday September 8, 2010 at 7:00 p.m. and its absolutely free!!!!

Arnie Bermudez

“You should only wear white jeans on certain occasions, like if its 1987.” – Me telling my brother why he shouldn’t wear white jeans.

The internet is a wonderful thing.  It really levels the playing field for everybody. I like to surf the net like Ted Haggard likes male prostitutes. I do it all the time because you never know what interesting bits of information you are going to find.  The internet really offers true equality, which is really hard to find. People are always talking about it, but seldom is it really attained. Oh there are degrees of equality, but not true equality. This always bothered me because its just another way of saying “separate but equal.” What happens when somebody speaks up about true equality is that they get labeled a socialist nowadays.  It is more sickening when our community leaders are the ones practicing this separate but equal ideology and when they are pressed about it they still claim its true equality. It’s usually the privileged that have a hard time accepting equality, because if we were all equal they would no longer be privileged.  This week while I was trolling the internet I found a pretty interesting clip in my email from a Netroots Nation conference that took place not too long ago. The video features a speech by our favorite privileged crooning councilman Rodney Glassman.  Rodney is seen here espousing his achievements and talking about how proud he is of all of that fluff, before someone in the audience calls him out.

“Are you proud to oppose marriage equality?” is what the audience member asks Mr. Glassman.  It was obvious that Rodney was not aware of what the guy was asking and stops and gives him his attention because everyone is saying “let him speak”. Once Rodney realizes that the guy is pressing him on being against gay marriage, he immediately continues as if that guy had never existed. The next words out of his mouth should infuriate anyone that believes in equal rights for all, Glassman says “I am proud of my track record on equality”. Unless you’re gay of course or atheist. He very cleverly left out the word “marriage” because he doesn’t believe in marriage equality.  Glassman has gone on record saying that when it comes to gay marriage, he believes the word marriage belongs to the religious institutions.

So, in his mind you should only be allowed to marry if you are religious, therefore if you don’t believe in a god you’re screwed out of marriage as well. If marriage is regulated by the religious institutions he doesn’t have to stand up against inequality because he has a cop out in that he can just say they can do that since it is part of their religion. Go Rodney!!! Sheesh. How regressive can you get? What’s next, “women belong in the kitchen”?

Arnie Bermudez

“I was born in 1981. You didn’t hear about that?” -Me talking about the best year ever

I never thought I would see the day when Hannibal Lecter would be the father of all Norse gods. Yet the Hollywood gods prove to be more powerful and made it happen. Anthony Hopkins will appear as Odin in the upcoming Thor movie which so far from the promotional material looks good. Chris Hemsworth is playing Thor and Tom Hiddleston is Loki, thats the guy in the green cape below.

Image courtesy the L.A. Times

I just have two gripes: 1) Where the hell are the helmets?  2) The leather pants don’t mesh well with the classic look armor and cape.  This may be attributed to the fact that they are trying to merge the regular continuity look with the Ultimate version of Thor, but it just doesn’t seem to work. See, they took the following two versions:

In order to come up with this.

Movie Thor

The result is a mish mash of the classic under armor, cape, and Mjolnir (the hammer) with the leather pants, beard, boots, glowing chest plates and helmetless look of the ultimate Thor. I know I’m jumping the gun and it may look great in the movie,but really why wear a cape unless he uses it to glide like Batman. It looks out of place. However, Marvel Studios has done great work so far so I a not too concerned. Ultimately, the goal is to merge the Hulk, Ironman, Captain America and Thor here in one big movie called The Avengers. We’ll see how this all plays out.

Arnie Bermudez

“My best friend peed on a fire once. Turns out pee vaporizes and gets carried downwind into tents. Lesson: Never pitch your tent downwind from the camp fire.” -Me

With all these laws being made to target specific groups of people I thought I would join in as well. Why should I let Russell Pearce and
Jan Brewer

Jan Brewer

 have all the fun? So I decided,  you know what? We should deport some folks and actually start cleaning this place up. So, without further ado here are the people I think we should deport, yes I realize some of these people might be legal citizens, but I’m only crafting my legislature in the same style that Mr. Pearce is. First off, on the chopping block is:

Anyone that sags their pants: That look only works in prison when you are keistering your lifeline or your method of currency. Plus, word on the streets is that the inmates find the sagging pants look extremely sexy.

Cholos:Whats a “cholo”  you say? Basically, its a Mexican-American hoodlum. They usually belong to a gang represented by basic colors like blue or red and they are not Republicans or Democrats.   Why should we deport them? Well, first of all they sag their pants and I already covered that. More importantly they are a walking stereotype. Thanks to these people, laws like SB 1070 get made and I get deported by mistake.  Moreover, Impalas and all kinds of trucks are getting desecrated with tiny wheels and hydraulics that make cars hop for no reason. Just get regular sized rims. Engineers go through several years of training to design these cars, they know what size tires you’re supposed to have on your car. Besides, jumping cars should have a purpose, like KITT in Knightrider. Also, hairnets are for the restaurant industry. Cholos will usually use the words “orale,” ”ese,” ”vato,” or “loco.” In fact, that was a sentence. Deportation would help them fully comprehend the Spanish language.

The KKK:Yes, the Klan. I don’t care if  they consider themselves separatists,  white civil rights leaders, white nationalists or ethnic purists, they’re still racist.  The Klan is just as bad as the Taliban only with less melanin.  My reasoning for deporting them is not their bigoted beliefs. No, the folks in bed sheets get deported for the simple fact that they are stupid. That’s right, when you tout your superiority over others, but can’t spell the word “clan” correctly you need to be shown the exit as well as a spelling book. Seriously, how hard is it to update your name to the KKC? That’s probably how it’s spelled in “Uh-merican.”

Religious Fundamentalists/ Extremists: Bible thumpers, Quran thumpers, Torah thumpers, and any other big book thumpers need to go. Don’t get this confused with religious folk. I have no problem with people worshipping, do as you wish. The problem arises when those beliefs are forced upon the rest of society.  It gets even more troublesome when fundamentalists try to claim it as science or try to make legislature based on their faith. Look, I understand you don’t believe in evolution, or that you have 72 virgins waiting for you, but most of us believe other things, otherwise you would see us on Sunday, so just let us be. Extremists hold humanity back, so aside from deporting them to another country I would say how about deporting them to another world? Maybe we can find a world where evolution, physics, temptation, and common sense don’t exist. Sounds like  heaven huh?

Homophobes:  Aside from the fact that they promote discrimination, homophobes should be deported because they caused my home state lots of money. Yes, I’m still peeved that we blew a huge money making opportunity and Mexico jumped on it. It’s almost like we don’t like tourism here. We had  a chance to have an exclusive revenue stream and the homophobes came out in droves to the polls and voted it down. Had we approved gay marriage, gay couples from every corner of the U.S. and world would be traveling here and honeymooning in the Grand Canyon or Sedona leaving their hard earned cash in our state. Instead, homophobes stood against capitalism and further contributed to our debt. Anyone who doesn’t want to move us forward economically needs to be shown the door. We are in a recession people.

Stephenie Meyer: She is a resident of Arizona. Why should she be deported? Well, for coming up with this steaming pile of crap.  

Another great gift from the state of Arizona.

Arnie Bermudez  

“I need to practice being old, so that when old age sets in, I’m good at it.” -Me

Disclaimer: This is a humor blog please don’t go hunting down KKK members, cholos or Stephanie Meyer they tend to be violent types and could probably hurt you.