British author Patrick Ness’ powerful new young adult book “A Monster Calls” is a coming of age story of a 13 year old boy whose divorced mother is ill in a hospital in England. He doesn’t get along with his grandmother, and his divorced father is off in America with a new wife and family.

The main character Conor O’Malley has to bravely deal with all this, plus being bullied at school by 3 male classmates. Block quote from front jacket:

The monster showed up just after midnight. As they do.
But it isn’t the monster Conor’s been expecting. He’s been expecting the one from his nightmare, the one he’s had nearly every night since his mother started her treatments, the one with the darkness and the wind and the screaming…
The monster in his back garden, though, this monster is something different. Something ancient, something wild. And it wants the most dangerous thing of all from Conor.
It wants the truth.

The yew tree in Conor’s backyard comes to life in his imagination or dream (nightmare) world, and tells him 3 profound stories. There a lot of magic and fantasy in this book, but also griping human drama about a young boy and his fears, and of course, Life and Death in the modern age. And it addresses how to handle the “monsters” in one’s existence.

Recommended for any age, with terrific, haunting B/W drawings by Jim Kay. The story was apparently inspired by the late British author Siobhan Dowd, who passed away at age 47 before she could complete her fifth young adult book.

“A Monster Calls” is available on amazon.com. Author Patrick Ness’ website: www.patrickness.com.

Ness is also the author of a famous Chaos Walking trilogy set of fantasy books starting with the clever adventure story “The Knife of Never Letting Go”, which I have read, as well as the 2nd novel, “The Ask and the Answer”. Yet to be read by me is the 3rd book of that series, “Monsters of Men.” That’s obviously my winter break reading task.

Back in 1982 American author Bruce Feirstein wrote a humorous book entitled “Real Men Don’t Eat Quiche” (A Guide to All That is Truly Masculine). This book elicited a lot of fervor in both the media and the women’s movement, resulting in the subsequent book “Real Women Don’t Pump Gas” (click here for my previous article about Real Women). Both books are in hardcover as well as paperback, and is available at www.amazon.com, or probably at Bookman’s Used Books in town.

book cover

Here are some examples of humor from the book’s chapters: Chapter 4 Real Men’s Quiz #2 (Q: “How many real men does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. Real Men aren’t afraid of the dark”), Chapter 10 Three Things You Won’t Find in a Real Man’s Pocket (“1. Lip balm 2. Breath freshener 3. Opera tickets), Chapter 16 Great Lines from Real Man’s Movies (“I stick my neck out for nobody” –Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca, “I love the smell of napalm in the morning” – Robert Duvall in Apocaplypse Now.)

Author Feirstein says in Chapter 4, “Essentially, the world today can be divided into two categories of men: those who eat quiche and those who don’t. The famous line from the book (which caused me to purchase it back then) was “Could John Wayne ever have taken Normandy, Iwo Jima, Korea, the Gulf of Tonkin, and the entire Wild West on a diet of quiche and salad?” (Chapter 2)

It is 28 years later, and a decade into the 21st century. What are “real men” like now? Do any still exist? Are they the guys who drive 4 x4 trucks out into this Southwest desert looking for rattlesnakes, with their rifles concealed safely under their seats?

I bet they still don’t eat the quiche & salad at Bentley’s House of Coffee and Tea on Speedway (which serves delicious quiche by the way.) Or do they?

Let me know ladies and gentlemen, what you think about “real men” nowadays. Is President Barack Obama (a smoker) a real man? Is champion snowmobile racer Todd Palin (married to former Governor Sarah Palin)? Does this label have any relevance today?

And if you’re not sure of the definition of a real man, I recommend you hunt down this humorous book and read it. I actually own my own (blue) copy.

Note: I confess I do eat quiche, but author Feirstein says in Chapter 26 (A Few Words About Real Women) that “Real women are not afraid to eat quiche.”

Back in 1982 American author Joyce Jillson wrote a humorous book entitled “Real Women Don’t Pump Gas” (A Guide to All That is Divinely Feminine). This book elicited a lot of fervor in the women’s movement about what was feminine and what was feminist. This book is in hardcover as well as paperback, and is available at www.amazon.com, or probably at Bookman’s Used Books in town.

book cover

Here’s some examples of the humor from the book’s chapters: Chapter 3 The Real Woman’s Credo (“You can’t be too rich, too thin, or have too many silk blouses”), Chapter 11 One Thing a Real Woman Never Carries in her Purse (answer: “Cash”), Chapter 17 The Real Woman’s Library (“Non-fiction- Everything by Judith Krantz, Everything by Jacqueline Susann, Romeo and Juliet”).

The author divides us women into 2 groups: Real Women or Gas-pumpers. Period.

Now it is 28 years later, and a decade into the 21st century. What are “real women” like now? Do any still exist? I think so– are they the ones in town bedecked in fashionable clothing (couture, really) with fantastic hair styles, fancy finger nails, and high heeled shoes?

I bet those women still don’t pump gas but instead ask their boyfriend/partner/significant or insignificant other/spouse/any helpful bystander to do it for them. Or do they?

Let me know ladies and gentlemen, what you think about “real women” nowadays. Is First Lady Michelle Obama a real woman? Is former Governor Sarah Palin? Does this label have any relevance today?

And if you’re not sure of the definition of a real woman, I recommend you hunt down this humorous book and read it. I actually own my own (pink) copy.

Note: I confess I do pump gas, but would prefer if someone else did it for me.