Special to ABC news that President Barack Obama has declared his support for gay marriage today:

http://gma.yahoo.com/obama-announces-his-support-for-same-sex-marriage.html

President Obama is the first U.S. President to openly support gay marriage.

On the 2008 campaign trail I heard Democratic nominee Barack Obama say that he was unsure about taking this stand, though he believed in civil unions. Now running for re-election in 2012, the President has joined Vice President Joe Biden in his support of same-sex marriage.

U.S. States that grant gay marriage (from wikipedia):

“Such licenses are granted by six states: Connecticut, Iowa, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New York, and Vermont, plus Washington, D.C. and Oregon’s Coquille and Washington state’s Suquamish Indian tribes. The states of Washington and Maryland have passed laws in 2012 to begin granting same-sex marriage licenses, but each may be delayed or derailed by November 2012 voter referenda. Same-sex marriages could be legally performed in California between June 16, 2008, and November 4, 2008, after which voters passed Proposition 8 prohibiting same-sex marriages. California also recognizes any same-sex marriage from around the world that took place before that end date.”

Gay marriage is a civil rights issue, allowing loving & committed same-sex couples to legally marry, if they choose to. I also see this as an equal protection issue, as guaranteed by the 14th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution…”nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty or property without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.”

Recently I read an article about different types of American families

http://tucsoncitizen.com/arizona-news/2011/07/14/census-traditional-arizona-families-falling-in-number/. The article basically says that the traditional American family is in the decline.

As in the United States, the traditional ideal of a family in Arizona – a married man and woman with children – continues to be chipped away by divorce, single parenthood, adults living without children and same-sex couples forming households and raising children of their own, according to 2010 census data.

When I was growing up years ago just about everyone in my home town in rural Hawaii was married (only once) with children. No one was divorced, there were no gay couples (or openly gay people), and only a few couples without children or infertile. It was indeed a homogenous society of the so-called “traditional family”. And I believe this was typical of most cities and towns back then in America.

Now the rate of divorce in America is at about 50% of married couples, and gay couples are able to marry in 5 states (plus the District of Columbia) and adopt children as well. Gay marriage is also legal as of today in New York State (the 6th state). And in 2011 there are numerous couples without children (either by choice, due to careers, or due to infertility).

These many divorces are creating blended families of half siblings and step brothers/sisters, as well as step-grandchildren. One of my friends has a grandchild and two “pseudo” step-grandchildren, as their daughter is not married to the father of their grandchild. Confusing? Somewhat.

I know a few gay couples with children, from one partner’s previous marriage or relationship, or through adoption or artificial insemination. Two of my son’s friends have mothers who are now openly gay after they had been married and then divorced from the father of their children. And I met a lesbian couple in Massachusetts who were sharing child custody with a gay male friend who had impregnated one of them (via artificial means).

In America today as mentioned in the article, women don’t need to get married due to financial freedom and career choices. And many who do marry get divorced and become single mothers. Same with single fathers due to the higher divorce rate. And more fathers are now playing a more active role in parenting, some even as “house husbands.” I now have many divorced friends (both sexes) and actually know several people who are in their 2nd or 3rd marriage.

And I know several women and men who have remained single and chose not to marry, for various reasons. The rate of marriage is also falling in America and was at a record low in 2009:

http://tucsoncitizen.com/community/2010/09/28/2010-census-data-record-low-wedding-rate-in-2009-lowest-in-over-100-years/

And I do say that marriage is NOT for everyone (see previous blog entitled “Why marriage?”:

http://tucsoncitizen.com/community/2010/01/01/why-marriage/)

as it is a lot of hard work and commitment. I say this being married (happily) for 27 years. But gay couples are now fighting for the choice to be able to get married.

And many people are now marrying or in relationships with someone outside their race/ethnicity (which could be the subject of another blog).
In my new world family, I have an adopted nephew (half-Turkish), a German step nephew (via my brother–in-law’s 2nd wife), a “pseudo” nephew (as my niece is in an unmarried relationship with a Kiwi man who is the father of their two children), and a nephew-in-law (from Morocco).

Ah, this is truly the new face of America, the land of immigrants and descendents from all over the world.

And this is becoming a land of acceptance and tolerance of different types of families and romantic relationships.

Excerpt from article by Hope Yen, Associated Press reporter:

“The new figures show, among other things, that the number of people getting married fell to a record low level in 2009, with just 52 percent of adults 18 and over saying they were joined in wedlock, compared to 57 percent in 2000.”

(Click here for full article, with more census information)

I think young people don’t see the value in marriage (maybe it’s too traditional or old fashioned), and the divorce rate has steadily risen over the years (showing others that marriage doesn’t work for all, or is not financially necessary for women anymore). And lots of young people aren’t attending church (of any religion) so they don’t hear about the religious reasons from a Pastor/Rabbi/Priest/Oman/Sensei to enter wedlock. I broached this subject back on January 1st of this year (click here, blog entitled “Why marriage?)

The AP article states the reasons may be economic (too expensive to get married now, wait till later), or that cohabitation may be cheaper. And I think young people are increasingly commitment-shy and afraid of marriage, which ended in divorce for many of their parents. Half of my son’s friends now come from families of divorce.

But I also like to think it may be somewhat societal as well with gay marriage being denied couples in 45 states, that maybe it’s a civil rights issue for some younger folks (who tend to be more accepting of gays/lesbians). If gays can’t get married, why should straights?

Now I know why we haven’t been invited to too many weddings in recent years. One of my six nieces is living with her partner (and choosing not to marry), with their 3 year old son, & another baby on the way. And only one of the others is married.

Marriage isn’t for everyone, but it can work well, as I’ve stated in my previous blog.

What do you readers think are the reasons for the lowering of the marriage rate in America?

And speaking of the recent census, here’s a quote I just read which is inscribed on the walkway at Miramonte Neighborhood Park (NW corner of E. 3rd St. and N. Richey Blvd.):

“The true test of civilization is, not the census, nor the size of the cities, nor the crops, but the kind of man that the country turns out.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson, 1870).

Let’s also reflect upon the kind of man (and woman) we are turning out today in 2010, 140 years hence.