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Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Let’s “do” dinner

Friday, February 17th, 2012

What’s your comfort zone for the price of dinner? How does $10,000 a  plate sound to you? How about the time of day you prefer to go to dinner, does rush hour seem ideal?

If you happened to be in Albuquerque, NM yesterday afternoon you too could have been stranded in rush hour traffic that was backed up on the Interstate highways for 10 miles from the airport to downtown. No, it wasn’t a horrendous traffic accident that caused the inconvenience, it was Vice President Biden’s motorcade making its way through the heart of downtown Albuquerque at the height of rush hour in route to dinner, a $10,000 per plate fund raiser.

It’s so reassuring to know that the “Einstein of Washington” was willing to log a few miles on his vice presidential jet at taxpayer expense and concurrently screw up the lives of a few thousand workers who simply wanted to get home to their families after a long work day. And yes, I realize it’s amazing that this many people actually have jobs. But seriously, who would pay ten grand to hear Biden speak during dinner? Wouldn’t that actually detract from the quality of the meal. Then again, I suppose you could think of it as an outrageously expensive dinner at a comedy club…

12 indications that you live in 2012

Thursday, January 5th, 2012

1. You have some very close friends, but you’re the only one who doesn’t have an iPhone.

2. You called the manufacturer for assistance because you attempted to enter a password on your new kitchen cooktop and got an error message and your call was routed to India.

3. Your idea of clutter management is making sure everything you don’t use often is in the closet in your office. Getting rid of any of it would assure a need for it tomorrow.

4. A couple that you’ve been friends with for years is coming for a visit and they email you to ask if there will be “guest robes” in their room.

5. You have computer chats weekly with old high school friends, but you haven’t had an actual conversation with most of your neighbors in months.

6. Your mother-in-law sends you an email with a photo of her skydiving.

7. Most of your high school classmates have personal websites along with Twitter, Facebook and LinKedIn accounts and do all of their banking/bill paying online—you don’t do any of these things.

8. Leaving for vacation without your cell phone and discovering this glitch 50 miles away is a valid reason for returning to get it.

9. The new computer you got for Christmas is already out of date and is on sale for a fraction of what you paid for it at almost every electronics store in town.

10. Using cash instead of a credit or debit card to make a purchase would be a hassle and take significant prior planning.

11. You have a new 3G TV that only receives the only two 3D channels, but have to wear those dumb looking, multi-colored glasses to enjoy the viewing experience.

12. You’re planning an airline flight and notice the additional fees amount to about 30% of the total cost of the fare. There are also additional fees added to the hotel bill such as a “bed tax” in some states. What if you opt to sleep on the sofa, will they waive this fee?

*Happy New Year from the Mayans!

Just in time for the New Year

Thursday, December 29th, 2011

I found a palm reader today (online/website) that has done palm readings for quite a number of presidents.

His website has links to legit articles in various publications recounting his meetings/readings for them (i.e. Time Magazine).                                                                                     But the kicker is a link on his website offering palm readings BY PHONE! How the heck do you do that?! Isn’t that comparable to doing acupuncture by phone?
He also published a book that really doesn’t help bolster his credibility: The Idiot’s Guide to Palmistry.

I’ve gotta call this guy just to see if I can get him explain how it works.
I think I’ll wear gloves when I’m holding the phone just to mess with him…

 

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