(Now that the Supreme Court has decided to consider the issue of gay marriage I thought it would be a good time to re-post The official Data Port view on the Gay Lifestyle and, by extension, the freedom to marry the one you love.)
The subject today, oh my brothers and sisters, is the expression “The Gay Lifestyle,” which most commonly slithers off the lips of sanctimonious bible thumpers, family values enthusiasts, and defense of marriage cranks.
You know how it goes: We must protect our kids from the Gay Lifestyle—The Gay Lifestyle will destroy marriage—I have no objection to the Gay Lifestyle so long as the Bishop doesn’t practice it—I don’t want my children learning about the Gay Lifestyle in Human Biology class—and so on and so on.
There is a “wink-wink, nudge-nudge” smarminess about the term used this way, as if these people wanted to be offensive without offending. They lack the basic straightforward courage to say what is really in their minds: I don’t want my kid to be a faggot—letting queers marry will destroy the institution of marriage—I don’t mind that the Bishop is a pervert so long as she doesn’t make love to her girlfriend. Their evasive use of “Gay Lifestyle” is essentially dishonest.
In addition to being dishonest this way of speaking is based on a serious factual mistake.
Do you remember when, about the time you were entering adolescence , you had the facts of life talk with Mom or Dad? Pretty embarrassing, huh? Probably worse for Dad. After a stumbling chat about human reproduction and birth control came the “Choosing a Lifestyle” discussion. “You know, son, (or daughter,) when you are ready to choose a life partner you will have to make an important choice. You will have to choose whether that partner will be someone of your gender, or of the opposite gender.” And being good, decent, parents they went on to describe the the advantages and disadvantages of each choice.
Wait a minute! Hold on there! You didn’t have that discussion? No of course you didn’t, because your sexual orientation is not a matter of choice. It’s not like choosing a profession, or deciding to be a Goth, or choosing to live a life of poverty and public service rather than becoming an investment banker. The folks up in the first paragraph of this post don’t understand all this; and because they don’t, they may fail to give their child, struggling with the problems of gender identity, the love and support he or she needs. The next time you hear someone using this expression stop them and ask them exactly what they mean. You’ll find that it stops ‘em dead in their tracks.
(The times are not only changing…they’ve changed. The best defense of marriage is to extend the franchise.)