Tis the season to have relationship problems – or at least that can be the case as the weather turns ugly and we enter the realm of holiday cheer.

How ironic.

Winter clothes often lack allure/Ryn Gargulinski

Sure, the winter weather can make for some fine snuggling – my two rats that are notorious for scuffling are now snuggle buddies – but it can also put drain and strain on even the best relationships.

Colder weather means big fat clothes. Even if we’re not stuck in pounds-adding snow pants for the winter season, other fashions can make us appear less than sexy. Like bulky, shapeless sweaters. Hair-smashing hats. Scarves that get dribbled with drool and gravy. We feel – and look – much more alluring in a sundress or a tank top and cut-offs.

The sun doth dim. Winter weather means less sunshine. Where it used to stay lit until late, the sun now goes down before 6 p.m.

Less sunshine means crummy moods and, for the very unlucky, Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). SAD, sadly, is not a myth but a condition that can plunge us into depression. It’s hard to be nice to your mate when it feels like the world is one big blah.

Cabin fever and the not-so-great indoors adds to relationship strain. We may find ourselves cooped up from the cold. Especially if we live with our significant other, this can lead to intense annoyance and cranky spats.

It can also lead to lethargy, boredom and fighting just so there is something exciting to do.

Big fat clothes sometimes means big fat us. Comfort food definitely warms our souls during cooler temperatures, but it can also pad our thighs.

Chicken pot pies, hearty stews and buttery biscuits sopped in gravy are just a few of the chunky choices that come to mind.

Holiday cheer is often not so cheery. Some may sing along to Jingle Bells while others will inwardly cringe. Holidays can send lots of folks into a funk, especially when the relationship is already strained.

Add the crappy economy to the mix and you’re ready for a rumble. Some people may even break up on purpose during this time so they are not obligated to give an expensive gift. Besides, you may also have to visit in-laws. That, too, can be a fight waiting to happen.

While we can wallow in our extra weight and gooey beef stew, we can also get out, get a HappyLight and still eat healthy to stay sexy to help combat these hefty strains on our relationships.

What do you think?

Do you squabble more with your significant other once the colder weather hits?

Are you in the 0.0001 percent of folks who actually look sexy in a padded jacket?

Do you find ski masks alluring?

Are the holidays the best time to fight so you don’t have to buy a gift?

One of my friends thought he was headed for a breakup.

Fearful breakup face/Ryn Gargulinski

Not because he wanted it, but because he lost his job and thought his girlfriend wouldn’t care about him anymore if he didn’t have money.

For real. Please.

While there certainly are a good share of folks out there digging for gold, sugar daddies or sugar mamas, relationships are about more than just the cash.

At least we hope.

Even if it’s love, and not money, that makes the world go round, money is still one of the most common reasons couples fight. Or throw silverware. Or break up.

The recession has made it even worse, with Reuters reporting 30 percent of Americans admitting the recession added stress to or fully wrecked a relationship.

Wow. No wonder the dude was worried.

One of the reasons money comes up so often, according to a report on Vanguard, is because of all its symbolism and associations.

“Money is such an important subject in our culture and has so many hidden meanings—feeling loved and cared about, feeling competent, feeling safe and secure, accepted, acknowledged and empowered—all of which are core issues,” the report said.

How much a boyfriend or girlfriend spends on his or her beloved is often translated to how much that person cares about the beloved.

Look at massive, glittering engagement rings as a prime example. Or gifts of diamonds and pearls; rubies and emeralds; a big, tacky gold medallion or a new car.

When someone offers such a gift, that must mean the person really loves you, no?

One more money danger is that old-time thinking of the man as the provider, the giver, the money maker. He brings home the bacon, she fries it up in a pan.

If a guy can’t fulfill all these obligations, perhaps he feels less of a man.

But as many women may know, it’s not what’s in the wallet that makes guys attractive. It’s really what’s in their hearts.

What do you think?

Have you broken up with someone over money or a lost job? Do you know anyone who has?

How often do you fight with your significant other about money?

On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 most important, where would you put money as an aspect of a relationship?

The Internet is such a glorious place for so much information – including dirt on any potential dates.

Do you look for warning signs about your date?/Photo and art Ryn Gargulinski

Not only can we Google any new folks we meet, but we have court records, home ownership documents and the Department of Corrections inmate search right at our fingertips. Don’t forget the controversial sex offender website, either.

Sure, checking out a date’s past can really put a damper on a relationship, especially if we find he’s done time for armed robbery or her name pops up next to page after page of naked photos.

But it can also give us an edge on finding out what a person is all about – before we’re stuck alone in a car with him or her.

Those top three dating sites – Date.com, Matchmaker.com and Amor.com – did a survey on the Google issue, asking only about blind dates.

They found that less than half of the men and women who responded – 45 percent and 42 percent, respectively – actually do Google their blind dates before they meet in person. Remember, too, that these are folks that meet each other online.

Of those who do Google their dates in advance, a whopping 80 percent of men and 71 percent of women would never admit to their dates that they did such a thing.

The main reason they wouldn’t fess up was because it would feel like they were stalking the person. Those who did fess up to doing a quick Google check said it may make for more interesting conversation.

“So, Johnny, what kind of weapon did you use for that armed robbery? Can you please pass the salt.”

What do you think?

Do you Google your dates in advance or do some type of background check?

What’s the craziest or most amazing thing you’ve found out about them?

Have you ever broken up over something you found out about a person online?

Since many of us are multimillionaires, we know we need to protect our assets against gold diggers and dates just looking to manipulate us out of our mansions and Jaguars.

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.../Photo Ryn Gargulinski

It doesn’t usually apply to the first date, but once we start getting serious with someone, it’s time to sign a contract or two.

Prenuptial agreements are nothing new, but some of the newfangled marriage contracts, like one up for renewal between Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, are pretty heavy duty.

We all know Katie and Tom – it’s the couple with a kid named Suri who traipses around town in high heels at age 3.

Tom is also known as the dude who stands on things so he can be at least as tall as his wives while Katie is also known as the no-name actress who is now upset because she is obscured by Tom’s celebrity, albeit short, shadow.

Their contract is a doozey, according to Star magazine, the highly reputable tabloid that is more fun than The Enquirer but not as amusing as those that report on Bat Boy and alien babies (some in high heels).

The Star said some of the highlights of their 100-page contract include:

The Scientology bonus – Katie allegedly gets $250,000 per year for supporting the religion and reportedly wants an additional $500,000 bonus as a special thank you.

The clothing allowance – Katie reportedly wants an increase from her annual $750,000 to an annual $2 million.

The baby bonus – Katie allegedly received a $3 million “gift” when she had Suri in 2006 and has been offered an “additional offspring” incentive ever since. Tom is reportedly willing to increase the gift to $5 million with an additional $2 million if she conceives by 2011.

The tabloid also mentioned the bickering about the contract may be enough to put an end to their three-year union.

The way it sounds, Tom is essentially paying Katie to stay with him and breed.

And we are left with but one question: What’s love got to do with it?

What do you think?

Have you ever dated someone who was only after your money?

Have you dated someone just to get to their money?

Are contracts that include a baby bonus and money for supporting your spouse’s beliefs ridiculous or an ideal thing?

Would an annual $250,000 be enough for you to support Scientology?

Most of us would admit that choosing to date someone based solely on his or her wardrobe would be a tad superficial.

Would you be caught dead dating someone dressed like these folks?/Photo Ryn Gargulinski - edited to protect the innocent

Some of us may do it anyway.

Even if we never say a word about our date’s mode of dress, there still may be times we wish we could send them home for a change of clothing.

Halloween is a grand exception to the rule. I was quite proud to be seen with a guy dripping gore dressed as roadkill while he seemed fairly fond of my black demonic wings.

During the rest of the year, however, some outfits may cause us to pause.

I have never sent someone home to change, nor have I been asked to go do so myself – at least not from anywhere other than one stuffy office job I had.

Yet some less-than-spiffy duds may make us roll our eyes in revulsion.

On the flipside, it may be equally disgusting to try and shape our dates into our own mode of dressing if that doesn’t suit them. Folks who are not comfortable in what they are wearing tend to become self conscious, irritable and stooped over like a hunchback as they try to hide.

So is it better to let some style blunders go?

Certain folks may look “cute” when they wear sneakers with sundresses or suits, but it’s still pretty tacky to throw on your tennies with a tuxedo or ball gown.

The jury is still out on guys – or even gals – in fur. I’m a fur lover, faux fur of course, so I generally find it quite fetching. As long as he doesn’t show up in a big, lavender floor-length fur coat that made him look like a sickly Easter bunny or a pimp.

Gals dressed as a pimp’s counterpart, with too short, too tight and too revealing anything, also fall into the tacky category.

Guys should keep their flimsy white tank tops (aka “wife beaters”) beneath their shirts, just as gals should refrain from publicizing bra straps and lingerie. Unless, of course, you find parading around in either a fine fashion statement.

But there may be nothing worse than a date who shows up, even with a bouquet of flowers in hand, who is wearing a T-shirt that reads: “I’m with stupid.”

What do you think?

Do you try to shape the way your date dresses? If yes, how?

What’s the worst outfit you or someone you know has worn on a date?

Did you ever send a date home to change?

Would you pick your boyfriend over your dog? Your girlfriend over your boa constrictor?

Zola helped determine that one guy was a real jerk/Ryn Gargulinski

Whether we love animals or not, sometimes animals just don’t love us back – nor do our own pets always love our significant other. Or maybe the dude is allergic to dogs or the gal terrified of snakes.

When our pets don’t dig our dates, it could be a good way to gauge if someone is a jerk. If my dogs don’t like a guy, he is probably not worth hanging out with.

We have to give it some time, of course, as Sawyer and Phoebe usually don’t like anyone at first. Phoebe will growl and bark while Sawyer will go so far as to stick his head in a person’s face to gauge the person’s fear factor.

Those that don’t flinch get a second chance. Those that are afraid get menaced.

Those that dispense treats are usually quickly approved.

The most horrific pet fiasco in a relationship I can recall would have been a nightmare even without the pets. I owned Zola, an 11-pound miniature pincher, and was dating a dude we’ll call Ashol, who was about 6-feet-2 and more than 200 pounds.

He whined and whined when he claimed the dog bit him. I never saw the bite – or the blood – but I could tell Zola was none too fond of this dude.

Matters got worse when he brought over his cat. I don’t recall the cat ever being mean to me per se, but it was certainly mislabeled as a “housecat.”

The guy’s answer to a litter box was letting the cat crawl in and out through a bathroom window. Of course, he did not mention that until the cat moved into my place, clawed through a couple of screens and then proceeded to crap on the carpet in the corner anyway.

Ashol then claimed I was “seeing things” when I brought up the cat waste, which someone had attempted to clean up by smearing in an upward motion on the nearby wall.

When the cat then clawed at and popped my exercise ball, it was time for the dude to move.

In this particular case, the animals were very helpful in determining this guy was a jerk. But I think in this case, too, I could have figured that out soon enough on my own.

What do you think?

Have you had scary or negative encounters with your significant other’s pets?

Have your own pets hated someone you were dating?

Did you ever have to choose between your loved one and a beloved pet? Do tell!

Sometimes relationships end with an addendum – the ex owes us money.

This wouldn't even cover Cabela's shoe laces/Ryn Gargulinski

It could have be for a loan, a car, a pair of Cabela’s work boots. Or it could be a big one: child support.

Exes don’t like owing money – and they don’t always pay it back. But some are irresponsible enough to go to massive extremes to avoid paying.

Like the dude who ducked his child support payments by hiding out in Mexico.

The guy, a 30-year-old from Detroit, was nabbed on Saturday, Oct. 17 while trying to get back into the United States, according to a news release from U.S Customs and Border Protection.

Agents thought he looked “suspicious” but did not say why. Perhaps he had pockets full of the money he saved while in hiding.

They discovered a warrant for his arrest in Michigan for failure to pay child support, and extradited him back to the Great Lakes State. CBP did not release his identity.

Nice guy.

Another man, Cameron Brown, 47, was even nicer. And allegedly went to even greater extremes.

The California man is accused of hurling his kid off a cliff so he wouldn’t have to pay, according to a prosecutor in his murder retrial in an Associated Press report.

Brown reportedly “had no interest” in his 4-year-old daughter so he chucked her off a 120-foot cliff, the story says. He claims his daughter fell.

Brown’s retrial this summer ended with a deadlock, just like the first. Jurors agreed on conviction but couldn’t agree on second-degree murder or involuntary manslaughter, according to The Daily Breeze. The judge declared a mistrial and set a new trial date of Oct. 28.

So glad I never had to fight for dog support. But I wouldn’t mind getting paid back for those Cabela’s boots.

What do you think?

Have you had money hassles with exes? Did they flee to Mexico?

Are you ducking any that you owe money?

Americans spend the bulk of their time tethered to the workplace – which makes it kind of tough to meet people anywhere else.

Workplace dating can end with a mess/Ryn Garguilnski

At a newspaper where I worked, at least three married couples were on staff, with another woman married to a man who worked in the building. I am not sure if all these folks met before or after they started working there, but I never saw any problems.

Some companies are getting less stringent about workplace dating policies, allowing it quietly or even with their blessings, as long as it doesn’t interfere with the job at hand.

And boy, it can surely interfere.

I’ve thrice dabbled in workplace dating. One worked out fine as we both left the company before we got to any disagreements or breakups.

Another worked out fine as we broke up but continued a working, and very amicable, relationship.

But a third could be the poster child for why folks should not go for workplace dating, whether the company allows it or not.

The guy and i were were both employees at a pet store some 502 years ago. He was a senior employee with many years of experience and lots of knowledge while I was brand new and lucky to know the difference between male and female mollies.

Our dates were OK – until I realized I didn’t really like him and would rather not date anymore.

His cold shoulder turned into him not sharing fish information or answering my questions on the job, even if I were with customers. I must have spent several weeks selling only mollies.

Tension kept up until it reached the breaking point. Then it exploded in the back by a shelving unit full of aerating ornaments – where we started with a yelling fest and ended with a shoving match.

I’m not sure who was blamed for breaking the ornaments that fell, but I was soon transferred far and away to another pet shop location that was about a four-hour round trip from my house. I forgot to mention he was also the company president’s pet.

Not a fun experience. But at least I learned a lot about fish – and workplace dating.

What do you think?

Have you ever dated a coworker? A boss? A subordinate employee?

Are you now married or did it flop? Do tell!

Romantic getaways can surround you in a sweet, soft cloud miles from the hurly-burly outside world – or they can really stink.

One of the worst ways to ruin a romantic trek is to wind up getting killed.

"Romantic" picnic?/Ryn Gargulinski

Such was the case, most whom have researched it think, for Glen and Bessie Hyde. This adventuresome newlywed couple chose an equally adventuresome and romantic honeymoon by boating down the Grand Canyon’s Colorado River.

They were off to a feisty start and then disappeared. While their boat, a clunky scow, was found intact, the couple was never found. Not even their bones.

Dying is not the only way to wreck a romantic getaway.

I was once invited to celebrate my birthday weekend in a cabin in upstate New York by a guy I was dating for a couple of months in New York City.

He promised trails, trees, a stream and a cozy romantic weekend.

Then he told me he was also bringing his 17-year-old son.

While the son ended up not coming along, the spring weekend was still a bomb.

We got up to the “cabin” only for me to find it was a ramshackle trailer that had not been used since the previous fall and stank of mildew.

The trailer was also infested with ants that got into my raisin cereal and at first I didn’t realize it. Yes, the weekend culminated with me eating ants.

I’ve learned since then to always have a getaway plan for those potentially disastrous getaways. And not to make the getaway down the Colorado River in a scow.

This blog idea came about after just finishing Brad Dimock’s book “Sunk Without a Sound: the Tragic Colorado River Honeymoon of Glen and Bessie Hyde.” Highly recommend this enthralling read.

What do you think?

Have you had a romantic getaway gone bad?

What happened? Did ants invade you cereal?

Did you try to take a scow down the Colorado River?

Did a “romantic getaway” ever cause a breakup?

One guy I know recently got two new puppies and I asked him if he loved his dogs.

For the love of fish/Ryn Gargulinski

“No,” he quickly said. “I like them, but I don’t love them.” He explained they don’t live long enough to merit love. If he loved them he would be too heartbroken when they died.

His method may work, but it also stinks. I’ve tried the same thing, building a wall around myself so I would never have to feel disappointment, hurt and anguish so deep I want to hide in a dirt clump.

But that also means I could never feel love.

Some love lost is a blessing: “He was a jerk anyway.”

Other love lost is a relief: “It was fun while it lasted but this relationship has become the pits and he stole all my CDs.”

And still other love lost may throw us into an abyss of writhing despair, only to come up for air when we have grieved and moaned for about two weeks or until we get hungry, whichever comes first.

Love lost may make us feel like we are dying.

But the time you get to experience the love, the euphoria, the blessed symbiosis of being on the same wavelength as a soul mate is worth any pain that may come your way — even if it doesn’t feel like it at the time.

Or is it?

Thanks to dating game idea maven Carolyn Classen for yet another intriguing topic.

What do you think?

Is it better to have loved and lost or not loved at all?

Have you ever built a wall around yourself to stave off emotions of any sort?

What’s the longest you’ve writhed in grief over a lost love?

Do you love your pets or is their lifespan too short?