Don’t say it – don’t even think it.

This couple knew the All Souls Procession makes a great date/Ryn Gargulinski

I know, I know – all my blogs today, from the weapon as décor collection to the five death updates – have not been very cheery, perhaps.

I was going to even it out with a happy, snappy dating post. But the topic on my list is a phenomenal weekend date which just so happens to include more death: Tucson’s annual All Souls Procession.

Sigh.

Really – I did not plan this.

And I promise the All Souls Procession does NOT fill attendees and participants with gloom and doom but it is rather a celebration and honoring of our dearly departed.

Get into the fray and rhythm and you may even find yourself in the midst, quite rightly, of a spiritual experience.

Thousands of folks dress up to pay tribute to their dearly departed loved ones, both animal and human, or even a dead concept or entity.

This year’s procession will include a major death in the community over the past year that is dear to many of our hearts: the print edition of the Tucson Citizen newspaper. A gaggle of former staff will be dressed and marching to mark and mourn its passing. People I still miss daily for their humorous banter and awesome ideas.

Just one of the many fabulous puppets/Ryn Gargulinski

Tons of puppets, skeletons, skeleton puppets, floats and even pets dressed up always add another fine dimension to the festivities.

You’ll also be drawn in by the hordes of performers and the grand finale urn burn at the Franklin Street Docks, at the southwest corner of Sixth Street and Stone Avenue.

Even if you don’t have a date, feel free to go solo to the procession – you are going to meet a lot of interesting folks.

The procession starts to gather at 5 p.m. Sunday, Nov. 8 at Epic Café, corner of Fourth Avenue and University Boulevard.

Many Mouths One Stomach, the organization we can thank for pulling this together every year, asks participants register at the northwest corner of Fourth Avenue and Fourth Street. The procession begins at 6 p.m.

See AllSoulsProcession.org for a full map of the route, more information and details on other highlights of the All Souls Procession Weekend.

See – that wasn’t so horrible, was it?

What do you think?

Will you be attending the All Souls Procession?

Are you a regular or have you never been?

What’s always your highlight?

Would the All Souls Procession make a fine first date? Why or why not?

Americans spend the bulk of their time tethered to the workplace – which makes it kind of tough to meet people anywhere else.

Workplace dating can end with a mess/Ryn Garguilnski

At a newspaper where I worked, at least three married couples were on staff, with another woman married to a man who worked in the building. I am not sure if all these folks met before or after they started working there, but I never saw any problems.

Some companies are getting less stringent about workplace dating policies, allowing it quietly or even with their blessings, as long as it doesn’t interfere with the job at hand.

And boy, it can surely interfere.

I’ve thrice dabbled in workplace dating. One worked out fine as we both left the company before we got to any disagreements or breakups.

Another worked out fine as we broke up but continued a working, and very amicable, relationship.

But a third could be the poster child for why folks should not go for workplace dating, whether the company allows it or not.

The guy and i were were both employees at a pet store some 502 years ago. He was a senior employee with many years of experience and lots of knowledge while I was brand new and lucky to know the difference between male and female mollies.

Our dates were OK – until I realized I didn’t really like him and would rather not date anymore.

His cold shoulder turned into him not sharing fish information or answering my questions on the job, even if I were with customers. I must have spent several weeks selling only mollies.

Tension kept up until it reached the breaking point. Then it exploded in the back by a shelving unit full of aerating ornaments – where we started with a yelling fest and ended with a shoving match.

I’m not sure who was blamed for breaking the ornaments that fell, but I was soon transferred far and away to another pet shop location that was about a four-hour round trip from my house. I forgot to mention he was also the company president’s pet.

Not a fun experience. But at least I learned a lot about fish – and workplace dating.

What do you think?

Have you ever dated a coworker? A boss? A subordinate employee?

Are you now married or did it flop? Do tell!

Ahh, a blond in a little red convertible may be the penultimate vision of loveliness at the intersection – until the blond turns his or her head and you see a face like a hag with missing teeth.

Would you date someone who drove this?/Ryn Gargulinski

But would you overlook the driver’s faults – or missing teeth – if he or she had a really cool car?

I never cared much for the cars my boyfriends had, as I don’t care much about cars. Living in New York City tends to do that to you. No one even needs a car.

Outside of New York, I do prefer dating a guy who has a car – as well as a valid license, as I once got stuck driving a grown man all over New Mexico.

Even if I’m not that into cars, there are plenty of folks who are.

Like Tucson man “Hot Rod” Robert, who owns two classics: a Mazda RX7 and a 1983 blue Camaro. He’s also single, by the way.

He’s been into road racing, motorcycles and fixing up his own classic vehicles. His Camaro alone has been a 6-year project – one that is taking such time due to the money and precision involved.

“It’s like building a model,” Robert said. “Every piece, every detail has to be in its place.”

No, he’s not single because he spends all of his time focusing on cars. Nor does he give his classic cars cutesy names (although that always adds a fun touch).

“Hot Rod” was brought up around cars and his main fascination revolves around nostalgia.

“Think about the cars you used to ride in when you were younger,” he said. When I mentioned the first car I drove was a royal blue hatchback, he said never mind.

Anyone who wants to check out more than 500 cars from all over the West can do so on Saturday and the Rotary’s Third Annual Tucson Classics Car Show.

It promises a fine variety of classic, antique and sports cars as well as, yes, the hot rod.

What: Rotary Club of Tucson car show
When: 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Saturday, Oct. 17
Where: “On the Lawn” at St. Gregory College Preparatory School
3231 N. Craycroft Road, just south of River Road
Admission: $5 – proceeds go to Reading Seed Children’s Literacy Program
Each admission ticket also enters you in a raffle to win a 2002 Corvette or $10,000
More info: TucsonClassicsCarShow.com

The show will also include music, food and entertainment to make for a fine date, family or singles activity. May be a good place to meet some other single guys and gals if you, too, share a passion for cars.

Heck, you may even run into “Hot Rod” Robert and you can ask about the four black windows that once came crawling down on him as he was tinkering beneath a car that had been stored outside for some time.

Do you care what kind of car your date drives?

Are you embarrassed about the car you drive?

Would the car someone owns be a deciding factor on if you would date that person?

What’s the junkiest car a date ever owned? The best?

Romantic getaways can surround you in a sweet, soft cloud miles from the hurly-burly outside world – or they can really stink.

One of the worst ways to ruin a romantic trek is to wind up getting killed.

"Romantic" picnic?/Ryn Gargulinski

Such was the case, most whom have researched it think, for Glen and Bessie Hyde. This adventuresome newlywed couple chose an equally adventuresome and romantic honeymoon by boating down the Grand Canyon’s Colorado River.

They were off to a feisty start and then disappeared. While their boat, a clunky scow, was found intact, the couple was never found. Not even their bones.

Dying is not the only way to wreck a romantic getaway.

I was once invited to celebrate my birthday weekend in a cabin in upstate New York by a guy I was dating for a couple of months in New York City.

He promised trails, trees, a stream and a cozy romantic weekend.

Then he told me he was also bringing his 17-year-old son.

While the son ended up not coming along, the spring weekend was still a bomb.

We got up to the “cabin” only for me to find it was a ramshackle trailer that had not been used since the previous fall and stank of mildew.

The trailer was also infested with ants that got into my raisin cereal and at first I didn’t realize it. Yes, the weekend culminated with me eating ants.

I’ve learned since then to always have a getaway plan for those potentially disastrous getaways. And not to make the getaway down the Colorado River in a scow.

This blog idea came about after just finishing Brad Dimock’s book “Sunk Without a Sound: the Tragic Colorado River Honeymoon of Glen and Bessie Hyde.” Highly recommend this enthralling read.

What do you think?

Have you had a romantic getaway gone bad?

What happened? Did ants invade you cereal?

Did you try to take a scow down the Colorado River?

Did a “romantic getaway” ever cause a breakup?

Do you like cuddling with your date? Then cuddle together as you get spooked out on one of the walking ghost tours offered by Tucson historian Rebecca Petithory-Hayes.

One of Rebecca's past ghost tour photos - Orb-o-rama!

You can read a column I wrote about this knowledgeable woman, who is also known as Tucson’s Ghost Girl, by clicking here.

Tucson Ghost Girl walking tours are filled with fun and spooky facts as you trek at a casual pace through downtown Tucson.

Meet at Jacome Plaza, 101 N. Stone Ave., in front of main branch of the Pima County Public Library.

Wear good walking shoes and bring your camera – you gotta get some photos of the orbs you’re sure to see. Please leave children under age 13 and dogs at home (unless they are service dogs).

Cost is $10 per person, cash only accepted on tour date. Reservations must be made in advance and will be accepted up to four hours prior to the tour.

RSVP by e-mail to tuazghostgirl@q.com

Next tour up is Friday, Sept. 25 at 6:30 p.m.

Other dates include:

Oct. 2, 9, 23 and 30 at 6 p.m. – Oct. 30 is special Day of the Dead tour – expected to fill early.
Nov. 5, 20 and 27 at 6 p.m. – Nov. 27 subject to cancellation if not enough folks RSVP.
Dec. 4 and 11 at 6 p.m.

Have you been on a walking ghost tour?

What’s your favorite Tucson haunted spot?

If your weekends are yawing at you like an empty abyss, you can fill them up with several upcoming groovy events. These events are great for couples and singles alike, with the added bonus of perhaps meeting a special someone if you fall into the latter category.

Carnival of Illusion: A marvelous magic show

Don't miss Sarlot and Eyed through the end of Sept./submitted image

Dance of Illusion’s Roland Sarlot and Susan Eyed are still in town through the end of the month, with shows every Friday and Saturday night. I wrote a column about this awesome couple, and they say more and more folks are using their magic show as a great date spot.

Why it’s a hot date: What’s not hot about a compelling couple dancing with swords, pulling money out of a grapefruit and otherwise dancing with illusion? Much better, and cheaper!, than the same old – yawn – movie and dinner combination. Besides, they may even invite you on stage for a little up close and personal magic that wows you and your date.

When and where:
6 and 8:30 p.m., every Saturday and Sunday in September
Doubletree Tucson at Reid Park
445 S Alvernon Way
Adults $15; $10 seniors; 9 to 16 $10; age 8 and under $5 (no babies please)
Tickets include buy one entrée get one free deal from Doubletree
How to get tickets: online at carnivalofillusion.com

Art without the fru-fru gallery scene

Do you love art but feel like a cad when you’re standing at a fru-fru gallery reception? Feel cad-like no more. You can check out art in a cozy, kitschy atmosphere with two events at two of the coolest stores that support local arts and artists.

Celebrate Pop-Cycle's birthday on Saturday/submitted image

Pop-Cycle party celebrating first year in business

Three local artists had a dream – and that dream has just spent its first year as a reality on Fourth Avenue. This incredibly cool shop, run by sisters DeeDee Koenen and Jennifer Radler, and Shannon Riggs started by selling their own creations along with those of 12 other locals. The inventory, made mainly of recycled and “upcycled” items, has since expanded to cover pretty much every square inch of the shop.

Why it’s a hot date: Music and drinks add to the already enjoyable shopping – or just plain viewing – experience at Pop-Cycle. Items range from wall art to vintage hotpants with a little felt critter that were about half-size too small for me (dammit!). Buy your sweetie a gift – or some hotpants.

When and where:
7 to 9 p.m. Saturday, Sept. 19 – 15 percent off all day shopping
Pop-Cycle, 422 N. Fourth Ave – Popcycleshop.com

Bohemia continues to artfully rock
Melo in Technicolor show, new work by artist Mel Dominguez

Another great gallery shop, actually one that spawned Pop-Cycle, is Bohemia, run by the charming Tana Kelch and dreamed up by herself and artist Daria Sandberg. This shop has regular celebrations and art openings without any uppity-ness. Next one up is a week from Saturday, Sept. 26.

Why it’s a hot date: More music – this jamming by the Golden Boots – more drinks, more gifts for your date.

When and where:
7 to 10 p.m., Saturday, Sept. 26
Bohemia, 2920 E. Broadway
Bohemiatucson.com

Reptile show Sept. 19 and 20/Photo Ryn Gargulinski

Tucson Reptile Show

Lizards and snakes and turtles – oh, my.

Why it’s a hot date: You can buy your babycakes a gift from this place, too, as long as he or she doesn’t mind feeder crickets or wax worms. Seriously, though, other vendors will have arts, animals, clothing, books. One vendor even promises to “explore the past lives of your disturbed reptiles.” Lots of speakers and different species round out the mix. Can’t go wrong with a room full of slithering snakes, sneaky lizards, kooky crocodiles and hopping frogs, now, can you?

When and where:
9 a.m. to 6 p.m. Saturday, Sept. 19
10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Sunday, Sept. 20
Tucson Expo Center, 3750 Irvington Road
Adults $7; kids 6 to 12 $3; age 5 and under free – Tickets good for unlimited access all weekend – tucsonreptileshow.com

Full disclosure: I’ve been a cheerleader for Sarlot and Eyed ever since I saw them last New Year’s Eve at Club Congress. Bohemia and Pop-Cycle both sell my art, but I would think they were cool even if they didn’t. I have no affiliation with the reptile show but happen to think reptiles are neat-o-keen.

Got any other cool date ideas? Do tell!

Taking a vacation – all the way to San Diego with two dogs in a car, no less – is an awesome way to learn so much about a person.

Room with a view/Ryn Gargulinski

Not only are you crammed with your significant other on an eight-hour drive, but you get to spend the week at close quarters in a hotel room.

Granted, ours was a fine resort hotel, complete with a balcony for some space, but my beau and I were lucky enough not to need the space away from each other.

Yes, we are vacation compatible.

Others may end up wishing the vacation were over before they even hit the highway.

In addition to learning if the other person grates on your nerves, you can learn a lot of other fun facts:

Tarawa, Tarawa, I love you, Tarawa, you're only a street away.../Ryn Gargulinski

His musical tolerance. OK, one CD did go flying out the car window, but he enjoyed my extended collection of classical tunes. Nor did he seem to mind when I broke into the theme song for “Annie” every time we passed Tarawa Road.

His cranky point. He either hides crankiness quite well or not much makes him cranky. To his benefit, he learned I get cranky when I’m tired, hungry or sit in the car for more than two hours without a break.

If he’s too manly to ask for directions. Yes, we got lost a couple of times, but he was willing to get directions. Too bad no one was around to ask.

His strange eating and sleeping habits. He doesn’t eat with his fingers, hates most vegetables and likes too much butter (but I think any butter is too much). He does not snore, sleepwalk or stab redheads to death in the middle of the night. This is a good thing.

Bed hogs/Ryn Gargulinski

If he really loves dogs. Since he spent part of the vacation sleeping on the armchair when Sawyer decided to hog the bed, I’d say his love for dogs is genuine. Besides, a daily dose of San Diego’s Dog Beach was his idea. Phoebe headbutts him until he’s bruised and Sawyer even sang for him. That can only mean the feeling is mutual.

Compatible or maddening?/Ryn Gargulinski

What other things have you learned about a person on vacation?

Did you fight? About what?

Did a vacation ever make or break one of your relationships? Do tell!

Taking a date out to eat in Tucson can include much more than rare filet mignon.

Snipped-off ties dangle from the walls and rafters/Ryn Gargulinski

At Pinnacle Peak the filet mignon is delish – as are the atmosphere and famous beans – but the kitschy restaurant, 6541 E. Tanque Verde Road, also offers much more.

Just don’t dress up too much to hang out at the place. The restaurant’s walls and rafters are covered in neckties that have been snipped off customers who were audacious enough to wear them to this family-friendly casual spot.

Once you’re done grubbing on fine Western fare, you and your date can hang out for some fine Western flair.

Although my beau and I were kicked out of one shop as it was about to close, we still had time to catch the re-enactment skit that gave us a few gun-shooting outlaws and cheesy laughs – not to mention a family of ghouls sitting behind us.

One little ghoulie was in front of us/Ryn Gargulinski

The ghouls were with Raven Hearse, a company that offers “fun and unique haunted productions.” The Raven Hearse folks often park their car on the premises and delight the crowd with their grisly garb.

A cute little choo choo also rounds the grounds, taking you and your beloved through some of Pinnacle Peak’s finer features. You get a glimpse of a ghost town, the Chinese Quarter, a blacksmith shop and skulls staked at an old time cemetery.

Skulls on stakes add even more charm/Ryn Gargulinski

If you’re feeling romantic, you can even steal a kiss on the train ride in the Terrible Mine tunnel. Although folks seated behind us on the train were murmuring that the tunnel smelled like urine, I didn’t notice such an odor.

But then, I’m used to subway stations in high summer.

If the train ride, re-enactment or other Western flair is not for you, the grounds offer an outdoor bar and café area where you can hang out and get tipsy instead.

Pinnacle Peak gallops into a top slot as one of Tucson’s better date places – and it might even be good for singles looking for a ghoul.

What do you think?

Have you ever been to Pinnacle Peak?

Did you take a date there? Did you fall in love with a ghoul?

What other fun dates places have you been to around town?

Stagecoach adds charm/Ryn Gargulinski

Terrible Mine tunnel/Ryn Gargulinski

Blacksmith shop/Ryn Gargulinski

Potential date from Raven Hearse/Ryn Gargulinski

Another potential date from Raven Hearse/Ryn Gargulinski

This couple is having the time of their lives in the Raven Hearse hearse/Ryn Gargulinski

Tucson’s Woodstock tribute concert may not have featured naked folks rollicking in mud, but it was still electrifyingly romantic.

The Wayback Machine proves bongos can be beautiful/Ryn Gargulinski

Saturday’s affair, presented by KXCI at the Rialto Theater, was packed with plenty of fanfare that made it a great place to take a date or simply enjoy the romantic vibe.

I learned my beau looks awesome in hippie garb, and also that his face lights up like a beacon when he hears a quality tribute to Jimi Hendrix. Such was the case when the musicians from Love Mound, with special guest Al Perry during The Star Spangled Banner, took center stage.

Love Mound rocked Hendrix /Ryn Gargulinski

It’s gorgeous to see people you adore thoroughly enjoying themselves.

While Voodoo Chile was easily the most romantic song of the evening, it was just one in a whole lineup of fantastic bands and reasons Woodstock is sexy:

Bands – Great music is always a gorgeous backdrop for a date. Nary a bad band was heard during the entire evening. Those that especially rocked included the highly energized tribute to Santana by Spirit Familia; Jefferson Airplane and Janis Joplin by The Tryst; Top Dead Center doing the Grateful Dead; and the Crosby, Stills and Nash set by the Wayback Machine. The latter came complete with bongo drums, which are nearly as enthralling as javelina heads in my book.

Stands – We lucked out with balcony seats flush against a wall, which made for a cozy nook in which to enjoy the show and not worry about people kicking our seats. We also had a bird’s eye view of the antics on the floor below, which included plenty of couples dancing, a long-haired guy in a white shirt who couldn’t stop bouncing to the beat, and a hilarious band of guys doing something that resembled an Irish step dance. Humor also always rocks a date.

The Tryst's Keli nabs hippie garb honors/Ryn Gargulinski

Hippie garb – It’s hard not to fall in love with the flashy, splashy and funky hippie garb many folks were sporting. Cutest honors for hippie garb – right after my dude, of course – goes to KXCI station director Randy Peterson who wore a wreath of flowers on his head. Female hippie garb honors goes to Keli, lead singer from The Tryst, who also sported flowers in her tresses and a flowing hippie skirt.

KXCI station director Randy Peterson sports a flower wreath/Ryn Gargulinski

Nostalgia – While I had not been born yet for Woodstock, I am still a huge fan of the music that went down. So were a couple of couples I talked to, both of them married, who came to the tribute because of the fond memories it brought them.

Ron and Marilyn, married in December and trekking from Mammoth to attend the concert, shared the secret of their happy marriage: “We get high a lot,” Ron said.

Ron and Marilyn make every day a date/Ryn Gargulinski

Seriously, though – yes, he was kidding – they said part of what keeps the relationship so much fun is looking at every day as a date.

Roger and Jo, married five years, couldn’t decide what song or band they felt was most romantic, but they did vote for Hendrix as top of the line for Woodstock music in general.

Roger, who was 33 at the time of the original Woodstock, did not attend but collected all types of stories, like from folks who thought they were smoking marijuana but were really puffing on opium and didn’t recall much of the show thereafter.

One more couple, however, may have taken the cake for Woodstock romance: Nick and Bobbi Ercoline, who were featured on the Woodstock album cover wrapped in a hug and a blanket.

They are still together, now both 60 and married since 1971.

If that’s not romantic, I don’t know what is.

Top Dead Center jammed with the Grateful Dead/Ryn Gargulinski

What’s the most romantic concert you’ve ever attended?

Have any concert dates been really horrible?

Is “Love Mound” a romantic name for a band?

Cemeteries, shooting ranges, condemned houses, ghost towns — who knows where I may end up on a date while I’m on vacation through Aug. 11. I’ll be sure to come back with some stories, even if I just stay home. Leave some kooky dating blog ideas in the comments below.

In the meantime, check out the Snapppy or Crappy vacation special at Rynski’s Blogski.

Illustration Ryn Gargulinski