Tis the season to have relationship problems – or at least that can be the case as the weather turns ugly and we enter the realm of holiday cheer.

How ironic.

Winter clothes often lack allure/Ryn Gargulinski

Sure, the winter weather can make for some fine snuggling – my two rats that are notorious for scuffling are now snuggle buddies – but it can also put drain and strain on even the best relationships.

Colder weather means big fat clothes. Even if we’re not stuck in pounds-adding snow pants for the winter season, other fashions can make us appear less than sexy. Like bulky, shapeless sweaters. Hair-smashing hats. Scarves that get dribbled with drool and gravy. We feel – and look – much more alluring in a sundress or a tank top and cut-offs.

The sun doth dim. Winter weather means less sunshine. Where it used to stay lit until late, the sun now goes down before 6 p.m.

Less sunshine means crummy moods and, for the very unlucky, Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). SAD, sadly, is not a myth but a condition that can plunge us into depression. It’s hard to be nice to your mate when it feels like the world is one big blah.

Cabin fever and the not-so-great indoors adds to relationship strain. We may find ourselves cooped up from the cold. Especially if we live with our significant other, this can lead to intense annoyance and cranky spats.

It can also lead to lethargy, boredom and fighting just so there is something exciting to do.

Big fat clothes sometimes means big fat us. Comfort food definitely warms our souls during cooler temperatures, but it can also pad our thighs.

Chicken pot pies, hearty stews and buttery biscuits sopped in gravy are just a few of the chunky choices that come to mind.

Holiday cheer is often not so cheery. Some may sing along to Jingle Bells while others will inwardly cringe. Holidays can send lots of folks into a funk, especially when the relationship is already strained.

Add the crappy economy to the mix and you’re ready for a rumble. Some people may even break up on purpose during this time so they are not obligated to give an expensive gift. Besides, you may also have to visit in-laws. That, too, can be a fight waiting to happen.

While we can wallow in our extra weight and gooey beef stew, we can also get out, get a HappyLight and still eat healthy to stay sexy to help combat these hefty strains on our relationships.

What do you think?

Do you squabble more with your significant other once the colder weather hits?

Are you in the 0.0001 percent of folks who actually look sexy in a padded jacket?

Do you find ski masks alluring?

Are the holidays the best time to fight so you don’t have to buy a gift?

Since many of us are multimillionaires, we know we need to protect our assets against gold diggers and dates just looking to manipulate us out of our mansions and Jaguars.

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.../Photo Ryn Gargulinski

It doesn’t usually apply to the first date, but once we start getting serious with someone, it’s time to sign a contract or two.

Prenuptial agreements are nothing new, but some of the newfangled marriage contracts, like one up for renewal between Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, are pretty heavy duty.

We all know Katie and Tom – it’s the couple with a kid named Suri who traipses around town in high heels at age 3.

Tom is also known as the dude who stands on things so he can be at least as tall as his wives while Katie is also known as the no-name actress who is now upset because she is obscured by Tom’s celebrity, albeit short, shadow.

Their contract is a doozey, according to Star magazine, the highly reputable tabloid that is more fun than The Enquirer but not as amusing as those that report on Bat Boy and alien babies (some in high heels).

The Star said some of the highlights of their 100-page contract include:

The Scientology bonus – Katie allegedly gets $250,000 per year for supporting the religion and reportedly wants an additional $500,000 bonus as a special thank you.

The clothing allowance – Katie reportedly wants an increase from her annual $750,000 to an annual $2 million.

The baby bonus – Katie allegedly received a $3 million “gift” when she had Suri in 2006 and has been offered an “additional offspring” incentive ever since. Tom is reportedly willing to increase the gift to $5 million with an additional $2 million if she conceives by 2011.

The tabloid also mentioned the bickering about the contract may be enough to put an end to their three-year union.

The way it sounds, Tom is essentially paying Katie to stay with him and breed.

And we are left with but one question: What’s love got to do with it?

What do you think?

Have you ever dated someone who was only after your money?

Have you dated someone just to get to their money?

Are contracts that include a baby bonus and money for supporting your spouse’s beliefs ridiculous or an ideal thing?

Would an annual $250,000 be enough for you to support Scientology?

Most of us would admit that choosing to date someone based solely on his or her wardrobe would be a tad superficial.

Would you be caught dead dating someone dressed like these folks?/Photo Ryn Gargulinski - edited to protect the innocent

Some of us may do it anyway.

Even if we never say a word about our date’s mode of dress, there still may be times we wish we could send them home for a change of clothing.

Halloween is a grand exception to the rule. I was quite proud to be seen with a guy dripping gore dressed as roadkill while he seemed fairly fond of my black demonic wings.

During the rest of the year, however, some outfits may cause us to pause.

I have never sent someone home to change, nor have I been asked to go do so myself – at least not from anywhere other than one stuffy office job I had.

Yet some less-than-spiffy duds may make us roll our eyes in revulsion.

On the flipside, it may be equally disgusting to try and shape our dates into our own mode of dressing if that doesn’t suit them. Folks who are not comfortable in what they are wearing tend to become self conscious, irritable and stooped over like a hunchback as they try to hide.

So is it better to let some style blunders go?

Certain folks may look “cute” when they wear sneakers with sundresses or suits, but it’s still pretty tacky to throw on your tennies with a tuxedo or ball gown.

The jury is still out on guys – or even gals – in fur. I’m a fur lover, faux fur of course, so I generally find it quite fetching. As long as he doesn’t show up in a big, lavender floor-length fur coat that made him look like a sickly Easter bunny or a pimp.

Gals dressed as a pimp’s counterpart, with too short, too tight and too revealing anything, also fall into the tacky category.

Guys should keep their flimsy white tank tops (aka “wife beaters”) beneath their shirts, just as gals should refrain from publicizing bra straps and lingerie. Unless, of course, you find parading around in either a fine fashion statement.

But there may be nothing worse than a date who shows up, even with a bouquet of flowers in hand, who is wearing a T-shirt that reads: “I’m with stupid.”

What do you think?

Do you try to shape the way your date dresses? If yes, how?

What’s the worst outfit you or someone you know has worn on a date?

Did you ever send a date home to change?

Since we had so much fun with bad boys and bad girls in a previous post, let’s gallop to the opposite end of the spectrum.

Mama's boys may wear cool hats, at least/Ryn Gargulinski

Meet the mama’s boy.

There is really no female equivalent here, as this category is a definite double standard – one of the few that is in women’s favor.

Gals after a certain age who live with their parents are just trying to save money or are being loving caretakers.

Adult men who live with the parents, especially their mothers, may be on their way to becoming Norman Bates.

Of course, men can still be a mama’s boy even if they do not live with their mothers.

The mama’s boy will not make a move without dear mom’s permission, consultation or blessing. He will invariably take her side over his wife’s or girlfriend’s point of view – even if the two have been married or in a relationship for 22 years.

No woman will ever live up to his mother. Will never cook, clean, work, enunciate or even write a novel as well as she does – even if she’s never written a novel. So no one should even try.

There’s really no room for another woman in his life.

Another speculations on men who live with their parents, especially guys in their 20s and 30s, is that the dudes have a different issue going on.

They may not be mama’s boys or like Norman Bates, but they could instead be more like Peter Pan.

They don’t want to grow up. They don’t want to pay rent. They don’t wanna go to work. They don’t even want to do their own laundry.

In either case, neither Bates nor Peter Pan seems too great for dating material – unless he can get mama to do our laundry, too.

What do you think?

Have you seen an increase in mama’s boys and Peter Pans?

Have you dated any? Are you one of them?

Do you agree there is a double standard between men and women living at home?

Is it OK for adults to live with their parents – or creepy?

Sometimes relationships end with an addendum – the ex owes us money.

This wouldn't even cover Cabela's shoe laces/Ryn Gargulinski

It could have be for a loan, a car, a pair of Cabela’s work boots. Or it could be a big one: child support.

Exes don’t like owing money – and they don’t always pay it back. But some are irresponsible enough to go to massive extremes to avoid paying.

Like the dude who ducked his child support payments by hiding out in Mexico.

The guy, a 30-year-old from Detroit, was nabbed on Saturday, Oct. 17 while trying to get back into the United States, according to a news release from U.S Customs and Border Protection.

Agents thought he looked “suspicious” but did not say why. Perhaps he had pockets full of the money he saved while in hiding.

They discovered a warrant for his arrest in Michigan for failure to pay child support, and extradited him back to the Great Lakes State. CBP did not release his identity.

Nice guy.

Another man, Cameron Brown, 47, was even nicer. And allegedly went to even greater extremes.

The California man is accused of hurling his kid off a cliff so he wouldn’t have to pay, according to a prosecutor in his murder retrial in an Associated Press report.

Brown reportedly “had no interest” in his 4-year-old daughter so he chucked her off a 120-foot cliff, the story says. He claims his daughter fell.

Brown’s retrial this summer ended with a deadlock, just like the first. Jurors agreed on conviction but couldn’t agree on second-degree murder or involuntary manslaughter, according to The Daily Breeze. The judge declared a mistrial and set a new trial date of Oct. 28.

So glad I never had to fight for dog support. But I wouldn’t mind getting paid back for those Cabela’s boots.

What do you think?

Have you had money hassles with exes? Did they flee to Mexico?

Are you ducking any that you owe money?

Some of us will go to great lengths to find that perfect someone – but is $10,000 too great a length?

You could get a date if you traded in these baubles/Ryn Gargulinski

A New York City woman named Orli Ross doesn’t think so.

This pharmaceutical rep, age 33, said she spent the last two years saving up the dough to buy the services of two high-priced matchmakers, according to a report on the ABC news website.

Her “purchase” is three blind dates with eligible, ready-to-marry bachelors.

“I really want to be in a great relationship,” the report quoted Ross as saying. “I want a husband, I’d like a family. I really feel I’ve done everything that I could possibly do up to this point. So, why not?”

While the story did not say if she would get a refund if none of the dudes worked out, we highly doubt it.

Whatever happened to those freebie matchmakers like in Fiddler on the Roof? Better yet, whatever happened to singles socials or supermarkets or even online dating for free or at a considerably lower cost?

This also reeks of desperation, kind of like a mail order bride. But we don’t know why this woman would be desperate. It’s not like she’s 104 years old and has to find a husband in the next hour or so. The site also showed her photo – no, she does not have six eyes, three mouths or two heads.

Perhaps she is just lazy – or shy. Or thinks money can, in fact, buy love.

What do you think?

Is paying $10,000 for a chance at three dates ridiculous or a fine idea?

Would you do it?

What’s the greatest lengths you went to in order to meet someone?

Americans spend the bulk of their time tethered to the workplace – which makes it kind of tough to meet people anywhere else.

Workplace dating can end with a mess/Ryn Garguilnski

At a newspaper where I worked, at least three married couples were on staff, with another woman married to a man who worked in the building. I am not sure if all these folks met before or after they started working there, but I never saw any problems.

Some companies are getting less stringent about workplace dating policies, allowing it quietly or even with their blessings, as long as it doesn’t interfere with the job at hand.

And boy, it can surely interfere.

I’ve thrice dabbled in workplace dating. One worked out fine as we both left the company before we got to any disagreements or breakups.

Another worked out fine as we broke up but continued a working, and very amicable, relationship.

But a third could be the poster child for why folks should not go for workplace dating, whether the company allows it or not.

The guy and i were were both employees at a pet store some 502 years ago. He was a senior employee with many years of experience and lots of knowledge while I was brand new and lucky to know the difference between male and female mollies.

Our dates were OK – until I realized I didn’t really like him and would rather not date anymore.

His cold shoulder turned into him not sharing fish information or answering my questions on the job, even if I were with customers. I must have spent several weeks selling only mollies.

Tension kept up until it reached the breaking point. Then it exploded in the back by a shelving unit full of aerating ornaments – where we started with a yelling fest and ended with a shoving match.

I’m not sure who was blamed for breaking the ornaments that fell, but I was soon transferred far and away to another pet shop location that was about a four-hour round trip from my house. I forgot to mention he was also the company president’s pet.

Not a fun experience. But at least I learned a lot about fish – and workplace dating.

What do you think?

Have you ever dated a coworker? A boss? A subordinate employee?

Are you now married or did it flop? Do tell!

Text messages can serve a purpose, perhaps, even though they can rack up quite a cell phone bill whether you want them or not.

txt ths/Ryn Gargulinski

Heck, you get charged 15 cents or more for each annoying message whether you even read them or not. (We should only get charged if we read them.)

Text messages are effective for the last minute “Running late” or “On my way.”

They can also be sweet in the middle of a harried afternoon when you get one that simply says, “Thinking of you.”

Too often, however, text messages are intrusive or abused, especially during the dating game.

I’ve been on dates where the guy would receive a text message, immediately scramble to get his phone to look at it, and then just as quickly slide the phone back into his pocket without a word.

Well?

Work with a problem? Another woman wanting to eat strawberries off your toes? Your mom with word your childhood goldfish died?

Other times he would text back before sliding the phone into his pocket, still without uttering a word.

Incredibly rude.

If it’s something so important to interrupt the date, at least have the decency to disclose what it is.

If it’s nothing important at all, then why scramble to read it?

Ruder still are the insecure folks who check up on their significant others by texting them every five minutes when they are not together.

Whr R U? Wht R U dng? Who R U w/? Do U ms ME?

Multiply all those messages by 15 cents each and your phone bill comes to quite a pretty penny by the end of the month.

Thankfully I’ve avoided the check-up text messager, but I’ve also avoided a lot of things by simply keeping my cell phone turned off 22 hours a day.

Text messaging is also a crummy way to break up, stand up a date or do anything that should involve a face-to-face meeting. And never use it as a medium the first time you say “I love you.”

P.S. All that shortened phraseology in text messages is reminiscent of corresponding with a tween or someone who flunked English.

U C wht im syg? plz dnt txt lk tht.

What do you think?

Have you ever dated a text message junkie?

Are you guilty of being a text message junkie yourself?

What role, if any, have text messages played in your dating game?

Romantic getaways can surround you in a sweet, soft cloud miles from the hurly-burly outside world – or they can really stink.

One of the worst ways to ruin a romantic trek is to wind up getting killed.

"Romantic" picnic?/Ryn Gargulinski

Such was the case, most whom have researched it think, for Glen and Bessie Hyde. This adventuresome newlywed couple chose an equally adventuresome and romantic honeymoon by boating down the Grand Canyon’s Colorado River.

They were off to a feisty start and then disappeared. While their boat, a clunky scow, was found intact, the couple was never found. Not even their bones.

Dying is not the only way to wreck a romantic getaway.

I was once invited to celebrate my birthday weekend in a cabin in upstate New York by a guy I was dating for a couple of months in New York City.

He promised trails, trees, a stream and a cozy romantic weekend.

Then he told me he was also bringing his 17-year-old son.

While the son ended up not coming along, the spring weekend was still a bomb.

We got up to the “cabin” only for me to find it was a ramshackle trailer that had not been used since the previous fall and stank of mildew.

The trailer was also infested with ants that got into my raisin cereal and at first I didn’t realize it. Yes, the weekend culminated with me eating ants.

I’ve learned since then to always have a getaway plan for those potentially disastrous getaways. And not to make the getaway down the Colorado River in a scow.

This blog idea came about after just finishing Brad Dimock’s book “Sunk Without a Sound: the Tragic Colorado River Honeymoon of Glen and Bessie Hyde.” Highly recommend this enthralling read.

What do you think?

Have you had a romantic getaway gone bad?

What happened? Did ants invade you cereal?

Did you try to take a scow down the Colorado River?

Did a “romantic getaway” ever cause a breakup?

Perhaps he cuts you off mid-sentence or chews with his mouth open. Maybe she applies lipstick – and toenail polish – at the dinner table. We’ve all dated someone with some crappy habits.

Illustration Ryn Gargulinski

In fact, we’d be surprised – or very lucky – not to have a few ourselves.

But bad habits can indicate more that just the need to buy an etiquette book or two.

Unsavory habits – Food stuck on the lapels, dirty socks in the middle of the world and mold growing out of whatever that is in the fridge are prime indications that you are dating a slob.

Yes, it means he or she may have been raised in a barn – and left the barn door open, to boot.

But it also can mean the person doesn’t really value themselves. Why bother to look good if they don’t feel good, after all.

Cure: Gently point out some of the ways you help keep your own place clean and offer to help clean the date’s pad. Either that, or just hang out at your place and avoid being seen in public anytime food is stuck to the person’s shirt.

Uncouth habits – Not every guy is going to open the door for every gal. And not every gal is going to appreciate it. But we can tell a lot from a person who walks 500 miles in front of the other, rarely gives eye contact or looks like he or she is off in la la land when you’re baring your soul.

The only time walking way ahead of you is allowed is if the person is being pulled by a couple of headstrong dogs.

These uncouth habits usually indicate the person is not that into you. Sorry.

Cure: Be honest and ask them why they seem to neither listen nor look at you. If the person is too busy not listening to answer, hit the highway – or sic the dogs on him or her.

Unsafe habits – Speed demons, road ragers and those who play with knives can be doing one of two things. They are either a) trying to show off or b) fulfilling a death wish.

Cure: Tell the person how macho or cool you think he or she is and how the person doesn’t need to go 88 mph in a 25 mph zone to prove it. If it’s a death wish the person is after, simply say you have too much to live for but it was dangerously fun while it lasted.

What do you think?

What’s some of the worst habits you’ve encountered on a date or with a mate?

How did you deal with it?