Since we already approached the topic with the post Everybody must get drunk, let’s take it one step further:

Photo Ryn Gargulinski

Drinking is not only socially acceptable – it’s often a necessity, or at least the chosen course of action, on a first date.

It breaks the ice, relieves the tension and gets you a better shot of getting him or her into bed by the end of the evening.

Even if drinking is not a first date choice, many folks like hanging out over drinks, picking guys and chicks up in bars and enjoying some wine with dinner or some Kahlua with cream.

So would you date a non-drinker?

A couple of blogs I found asked the same type of question and the overall feeling is that non-drinkers are duds.

After all, what fun can life be if you don’t regularly get drunk and stupid?

Here’s a snippet from a blog on Jezebel.com. The author, whose contact info was for some reason removed, was stymied why three non-drinking suitors in recent months wanted to date her, a gal who is very vocal about her drinking:

“But is there something culturally off about dating a non-drinker when you’re a drunk, akin to the social awkwardness of dating someone who speaks a different native language?…

…After all, a person who’s been drinking for twelve or thirteen years has known a lot more false intimacy than a person who hasn’t, and maybe just instinctively distrusts a sober person’s ability to separate real from false at the end of the day? Or are we just more fun?

Yeah, whatevs. I’m just making myself thirsty.”

I’ve also had some of my own experiences, as a non-drinker, where the trait seemed to be a deal breaker. For real.

Photo Ryn Gargulinski

One guy actually hid his glass of rum and coke beside him, sneaking sips, thinking I would just assume it was a glass of soda. Of course I was not going to smell the rum on his breath when he went to kiss me.

Another, after a few months of dating, actually said something to the effect of: “I can’t imagine life without beer in the house.”

Nobody was talking about moving in together, mind you. We had not even discussed plans for the next weekend. But I guess it’s better to know sooner rather than later that beer was more important than a relationship.

At a poetry reading where everyone was toasting with champagne and I held up my glass of water, a man actually turned to me and said, “You don’t drink? What’s wrong with you?”

He’s not the only one that thinks that way – and it’s kind of maddening. Drinking definitely seems to be the norm and you’re an outcast if you don’t imbibe. But you also tend to remember where you parked your car.

So what’s your take on the situation?

Have you broken up with folks because they don’t drink – or drink too much?

Has anyone ever broken up with, or not dated, you over the issue?

Give us some stories.

The Internet is such a glorious place for so much information – including dirt on any potential dates.

Do you look for warning signs about your date?/Photo and art Ryn Gargulinski

Not only can we Google any new folks we meet, but we have court records, home ownership documents and the Department of Corrections inmate search right at our fingertips. Don’t forget the controversial sex offender website, either.

Sure, checking out a date’s past can really put a damper on a relationship, especially if we find he’s done time for armed robbery or her name pops up next to page after page of naked photos.

But it can also give us an edge on finding out what a person is all about – before we’re stuck alone in a car with him or her.

Those top three dating sites – Date.com, Matchmaker.com and Amor.com – did a survey on the Google issue, asking only about blind dates.

They found that less than half of the men and women who responded – 45 percent and 42 percent, respectively – actually do Google their blind dates before they meet in person. Remember, too, that these are folks that meet each other online.

Of those who do Google their dates in advance, a whopping 80 percent of men and 71 percent of women would never admit to their dates that they did such a thing.

The main reason they wouldn’t fess up was because it would feel like they were stalking the person. Those who did fess up to doing a quick Google check said it may make for more interesting conversation.

“So, Johnny, what kind of weapon did you use for that armed robbery? Can you please pass the salt.”

What do you think?

Do you Google your dates in advance or do some type of background check?

What’s the craziest or most amazing thing you’ve found out about them?

Have you ever broken up over something you found out about a person online?

Don’t say it – don’t even think it.

This couple knew the All Souls Procession makes a great date/Ryn Gargulinski

I know, I know – all my blogs today, from the weapon as décor collection to the five death updates – have not been very cheery, perhaps.

I was going to even it out with a happy, snappy dating post. But the topic on my list is a phenomenal weekend date which just so happens to include more death: Tucson’s annual All Souls Procession.

Sigh.

Really – I did not plan this.

And I promise the All Souls Procession does NOT fill attendees and participants with gloom and doom but it is rather a celebration and honoring of our dearly departed.

Get into the fray and rhythm and you may even find yourself in the midst, quite rightly, of a spiritual experience.

Thousands of folks dress up to pay tribute to their dearly departed loved ones, both animal and human, or even a dead concept or entity.

This year’s procession will include a major death in the community over the past year that is dear to many of our hearts: the print edition of the Tucson Citizen newspaper. A gaggle of former staff will be dressed and marching to mark and mourn its passing. People I still miss daily for their humorous banter and awesome ideas.

Just one of the many fabulous puppets/Ryn Gargulinski

Tons of puppets, skeletons, skeleton puppets, floats and even pets dressed up always add another fine dimension to the festivities.

You’ll also be drawn in by the hordes of performers and the grand finale urn burn at the Franklin Street Docks, at the southwest corner of Sixth Street and Stone Avenue.

Even if you don’t have a date, feel free to go solo to the procession – you are going to meet a lot of interesting folks.

The procession starts to gather at 5 p.m. Sunday, Nov. 8 at Epic Café, corner of Fourth Avenue and University Boulevard.

Many Mouths One Stomach, the organization we can thank for pulling this together every year, asks participants register at the northwest corner of Fourth Avenue and Fourth Street. The procession begins at 6 p.m.

See AllSoulsProcession.org for a full map of the route, more information and details on other highlights of the All Souls Procession Weekend.

See – that wasn’t so horrible, was it?

What do you think?

Will you be attending the All Souls Procession?

Are you a regular or have you never been?

What’s always your highlight?

Would the All Souls Procession make a fine first date? Why or why not?

Thin is not in when it comes to dating, according to a poll taken by members of three online dating sites.

Dinner for two/Ryn Gargulinski

A hefty (excuse the pun) 85 percent of single guys said they simply adore heavier women.

Eighty percent of the men polled said the larger gals appreciate the attention more and are not as bitchy as their pin-thin counterparts; 69 percent of the guys said it’s what inside that matters; 54 percent said heavier women are better in bed; 13 percent said the rounder gals have more fun and 35 percent agreed with all of the above.

Nearly 80 percent of the guys said obese was OK, as long as he loved her.

On the flipside, 90 percent of women thought guys would find overweight women unattractive. Judging by the poll, they were way off the scale.

Go figure, pun definitely intended.

And the ladies, too, don’t mind if a guy has a few pounds to lose.

Nearly 88 percent of women polled said they feel protected by a bigger guy and “Yes, I love a teddy bear;” 74 percent said it would depend on how overweight he was but he better be healthy rather than a couch potato; and 30 percent of women wanted a guy who was fit and totally in shape.

We are not sure why the numbers don’t add up to 100 percent, unless folks were allowed to respond to more than one answer.

The sites that conducted the polls were Date.com, Matchmaker.com and Amor.com, and results were posted by parent company Avalanche, LLC.

What do you think?

Do prefer your date thin, muscular and fit or don’t you mind some extra pounds?

How many extra pounds are TOO many extra?

Most of us would admit that choosing to date someone based solely on his or her wardrobe would be a tad superficial.

Would you be caught dead dating someone dressed like these folks?/Photo Ryn Gargulinski - edited to protect the innocent

Some of us may do it anyway.

Even if we never say a word about our date’s mode of dress, there still may be times we wish we could send them home for a change of clothing.

Halloween is a grand exception to the rule. I was quite proud to be seen with a guy dripping gore dressed as roadkill while he seemed fairly fond of my black demonic wings.

During the rest of the year, however, some outfits may cause us to pause.

I have never sent someone home to change, nor have I been asked to go do so myself – at least not from anywhere other than one stuffy office job I had.

Yet some less-than-spiffy duds may make us roll our eyes in revulsion.

On the flipside, it may be equally disgusting to try and shape our dates into our own mode of dressing if that doesn’t suit them. Folks who are not comfortable in what they are wearing tend to become self conscious, irritable and stooped over like a hunchback as they try to hide.

So is it better to let some style blunders go?

Certain folks may look “cute” when they wear sneakers with sundresses or suits, but it’s still pretty tacky to throw on your tennies with a tuxedo or ball gown.

The jury is still out on guys – or even gals – in fur. I’m a fur lover, faux fur of course, so I generally find it quite fetching. As long as he doesn’t show up in a big, lavender floor-length fur coat that made him look like a sickly Easter bunny or a pimp.

Gals dressed as a pimp’s counterpart, with too short, too tight and too revealing anything, also fall into the tacky category.

Guys should keep their flimsy white tank tops (aka “wife beaters”) beneath their shirts, just as gals should refrain from publicizing bra straps and lingerie. Unless, of course, you find parading around in either a fine fashion statement.

But there may be nothing worse than a date who shows up, even with a bouquet of flowers in hand, who is wearing a T-shirt that reads: “I’m with stupid.”

What do you think?

Do you try to shape the way your date dresses? If yes, how?

What’s the worst outfit you or someone you know has worn on a date?

Did you ever send a date home to change?

Tucson is full of single guys – but our fair city was stuck at No. 17 on a list of 36 when it comes to meeting them, according to a report in The Daily Beast.

Who said you can't find a "good catch" in Tucson?/Ryn Garguilnski

That put us above Detroit, but below San Francisco. We are soaring above last place El Paso but far removed from first place Atlanta.

The report rated cities of 500,000 or more based on the percentage of single men who were deemed a “good catch” with a four-year college degree and the number of places to meet them. So it factored in the number of gyms.

Being No. 17, which is nearly smack dab in the middle, is none too awful. Except Tucson was ranked right below Milwaukee. Jeffrey Dahmer prowled Milwaukee.

That doesn’t say much for Tucson.

On the plus side, the report did call Tucson “the quirkier Arizona metropolis,” which is a definite compliment, and noted a few other points:

Beast Analysis: Tucson….offers great Mexican food and Old West charm. Though there are plenty of single men here, this perennially sunny city may not be the hottest spot to find a date. The social scene outside of the University of Arizona campus is wanting, and U of A’s party-school reputation may not be far off the mark. According to our numbers, Tucson ranks low in education. Click here for Tucson’s slide show page.

And it also quoted a very fun dating blogger:

What the Locals Say: “Dating in Tucson is a total crapshoot. I’ve met everyone from self-absorbed political types to videogame-playing 40 year olds with moody artists and kooky archeologists in between.”—Ryn Gargulinski, blogger

I’ve definitely had more trouble with guys I dated in New Mexico and New York than I have in Tucson. Both places ranked below Tucson, with Albuquerque barely above the bottom at No. 31 and New York City clocking in at a paltry No. 24.

So far no dates from Tucson have stalked me or drained my bank account (knock wood). And I have yet to meet a guy like those in Milwaukee who may behead us and stick us in a freezer.

What do you think?

Where would you rate Tucson for meeting single guys – or gals? Why?

Where were your worst dating experiences?

Some of us will go to great lengths to find that perfect someone – but is $10,000 too great a length?

You could get a date if you traded in these baubles/Ryn Gargulinski

A New York City woman named Orli Ross doesn’t think so.

This pharmaceutical rep, age 33, said she spent the last two years saving up the dough to buy the services of two high-priced matchmakers, according to a report on the ABC news website.

Her “purchase” is three blind dates with eligible, ready-to-marry bachelors.

“I really want to be in a great relationship,” the report quoted Ross as saying. “I want a husband, I’d like a family. I really feel I’ve done everything that I could possibly do up to this point. So, why not?”

While the story did not say if she would get a refund if none of the dudes worked out, we highly doubt it.

Whatever happened to those freebie matchmakers like in Fiddler on the Roof? Better yet, whatever happened to singles socials or supermarkets or even online dating for free or at a considerably lower cost?

This also reeks of desperation, kind of like a mail order bride. But we don’t know why this woman would be desperate. It’s not like she’s 104 years old and has to find a husband in the next hour or so. The site also showed her photo – no, she does not have six eyes, three mouths or two heads.

Perhaps she is just lazy – or shy. Or thinks money can, in fact, buy love.

What do you think?

Is paying $10,000 for a chance at three dates ridiculous or a fine idea?

Would you do it?

What’s the greatest lengths you went to in order to meet someone?

Americans spend the bulk of their time tethered to the workplace – which makes it kind of tough to meet people anywhere else.

Workplace dating can end with a mess/Ryn Garguilnski

At a newspaper where I worked, at least three married couples were on staff, with another woman married to a man who worked in the building. I am not sure if all these folks met before or after they started working there, but I never saw any problems.

Some companies are getting less stringent about workplace dating policies, allowing it quietly or even with their blessings, as long as it doesn’t interfere with the job at hand.

And boy, it can surely interfere.

I’ve thrice dabbled in workplace dating. One worked out fine as we both left the company before we got to any disagreements or breakups.

Another worked out fine as we broke up but continued a working, and very amicable, relationship.

But a third could be the poster child for why folks should not go for workplace dating, whether the company allows it or not.

The guy and i were were both employees at a pet store some 502 years ago. He was a senior employee with many years of experience and lots of knowledge while I was brand new and lucky to know the difference between male and female mollies.

Our dates were OK – until I realized I didn’t really like him and would rather not date anymore.

His cold shoulder turned into him not sharing fish information or answering my questions on the job, even if I were with customers. I must have spent several weeks selling only mollies.

Tension kept up until it reached the breaking point. Then it exploded in the back by a shelving unit full of aerating ornaments – where we started with a yelling fest and ended with a shoving match.

I’m not sure who was blamed for breaking the ornaments that fell, but I was soon transferred far and away to another pet shop location that was about a four-hour round trip from my house. I forgot to mention he was also the company president’s pet.

Not a fun experience. But at least I learned a lot about fish – and workplace dating.

What do you think?

Have you ever dated a coworker? A boss? A subordinate employee?

Are you now married or did it flop? Do tell!

Ahh, a blond in a little red convertible may be the penultimate vision of loveliness at the intersection – until the blond turns his or her head and you see a face like a hag with missing teeth.

Would you date someone who drove this?/Ryn Gargulinski

But would you overlook the driver’s faults – or missing teeth – if he or she had a really cool car?

I never cared much for the cars my boyfriends had, as I don’t care much about cars. Living in New York City tends to do that to you. No one even needs a car.

Outside of New York, I do prefer dating a guy who has a car – as well as a valid license, as I once got stuck driving a grown man all over New Mexico.

Even if I’m not that into cars, there are plenty of folks who are.

Like Tucson man “Hot Rod” Robert, who owns two classics: a Mazda RX7 and a 1983 blue Camaro. He’s also single, by the way.

He’s been into road racing, motorcycles and fixing up his own classic vehicles. His Camaro alone has been a 6-year project – one that is taking such time due to the money and precision involved.

“It’s like building a model,” Robert said. “Every piece, every detail has to be in its place.”

No, he’s not single because he spends all of his time focusing on cars. Nor does he give his classic cars cutesy names (although that always adds a fun touch).

“Hot Rod” was brought up around cars and his main fascination revolves around nostalgia.

“Think about the cars you used to ride in when you were younger,” he said. When I mentioned the first car I drove was a royal blue hatchback, he said never mind.

Anyone who wants to check out more than 500 cars from all over the West can do so on Saturday and the Rotary’s Third Annual Tucson Classics Car Show.

It promises a fine variety of classic, antique and sports cars as well as, yes, the hot rod.

What: Rotary Club of Tucson car show
When: 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Saturday, Oct. 17
Where: “On the Lawn” at St. Gregory College Preparatory School
3231 N. Craycroft Road, just south of River Road
Admission: $5 – proceeds go to Reading Seed Children’s Literacy Program
Each admission ticket also enters you in a raffle to win a 2002 Corvette or $10,000
More info: TucsonClassicsCarShow.com

The show will also include music, food and entertainment to make for a fine date, family or singles activity. May be a good place to meet some other single guys and gals if you, too, share a passion for cars.

Heck, you may even run into “Hot Rod” Robert and you can ask about the four black windows that once came crawling down on him as he was tinkering beneath a car that had been stored outside for some time.

Do you care what kind of car your date drives?

Are you embarrassed about the car you drive?

Would the car someone owns be a deciding factor on if you would date that person?

What’s the junkiest car a date ever owned? The best?

Smokers are getting the butt end of everything lately – with some bans as drastic as forbidding smoking in their own homes and cars.

Photo and illustration by Ryn Gargulinski

They may also be getting fewer dates.

In fact, 65 percent of women recently polled by Glamour magazine said they would not even date a dude that smoked. At all. Maybe wouldn’t even hand over a tissue if the guy sneezed or something.

Isn’t that kind of harsh?

We can understand how someone would prefer not to be around second-hand smoke or kiss a person who “tastes like an ashtray,” but those gals may be missing out on meeting some potentially interesting people.

Smokers are not mean, evil people – they are just stuck in an addiction that’s very hard to break.

But some folks won’t even give them a chance.

Perhaps an upfront rebuttal is better than going along with the date and just nagging the person every time he or she lights up.

Why do you smoke? That’s gross.
You’re too beautiful to smoke.
Did you ever try quitting?
Do you know what that does to your lungs?

Yes, smokers are well aware of the adverse consequences. Unless you lived under a rock for the last few decades, everyone is aware of them. They have been bludgeoned into our heads.

Society’s hatred of smokers has also been bludgeoned into everybody’s head, as has the shunning. They are definitely the outcasts. Outcasts who may get fewer dates.

What do you think? Please take the poll and leave additional comments below.

Would you breakup with or divorce someone if he or she started smoking?