One of my friends thought he was headed for a breakup.

Fearful breakup face/Ryn Gargulinski

Not because he wanted it, but because he lost his job and thought his girlfriend wouldn’t care about him anymore if he didn’t have money.

For real. Please.

While there certainly are a good share of folks out there digging for gold, sugar daddies or sugar mamas, relationships are about more than just the cash.

At least we hope.

Even if it’s love, and not money, that makes the world go round, money is still one of the most common reasons couples fight. Or throw silverware. Or break up.

The recession has made it even worse, with Reuters reporting 30 percent of Americans admitting the recession added stress to or fully wrecked a relationship.

Wow. No wonder the dude was worried.

One of the reasons money comes up so often, according to a report on Vanguard, is because of all its symbolism and associations.

“Money is such an important subject in our culture and has so many hidden meanings—feeling loved and cared about, feeling competent, feeling safe and secure, accepted, acknowledged and empowered—all of which are core issues,” the report said.

How much a boyfriend or girlfriend spends on his or her beloved is often translated to how much that person cares about the beloved.

Look at massive, glittering engagement rings as a prime example. Or gifts of diamonds and pearls; rubies and emeralds; a big, tacky gold medallion or a new car.

When someone offers such a gift, that must mean the person really loves you, no?

One more money danger is that old-time thinking of the man as the provider, the giver, the money maker. He brings home the bacon, she fries it up in a pan.

If a guy can’t fulfill all these obligations, perhaps he feels less of a man.

But as many women may know, it’s not what’s in the wallet that makes guys attractive. It’s really what’s in their hearts.

What do you think?

Have you broken up with someone over money or a lost job? Do you know anyone who has?

How often do you fight with your significant other about money?

On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 most important, where would you put money as an aspect of a relationship?

Since we already approached the topic with the post Everybody must get drunk, let’s take it one step further:

Photo Ryn Gargulinski

Drinking is not only socially acceptable – it’s often a necessity, or at least the chosen course of action, on a first date.

It breaks the ice, relieves the tension and gets you a better shot of getting him or her into bed by the end of the evening.

Even if drinking is not a first date choice, many folks like hanging out over drinks, picking guys and chicks up in bars and enjoying some wine with dinner or some Kahlua with cream.

So would you date a non-drinker?

A couple of blogs I found asked the same type of question and the overall feeling is that non-drinkers are duds.

After all, what fun can life be if you don’t regularly get drunk and stupid?

Here’s a snippet from a blog on Jezebel.com. The author, whose contact info was for some reason removed, was stymied why three non-drinking suitors in recent months wanted to date her, a gal who is very vocal about her drinking:

“But is there something culturally off about dating a non-drinker when you’re a drunk, akin to the social awkwardness of dating someone who speaks a different native language?…

…After all, a person who’s been drinking for twelve or thirteen years has known a lot more false intimacy than a person who hasn’t, and maybe just instinctively distrusts a sober person’s ability to separate real from false at the end of the day? Or are we just more fun?

Yeah, whatevs. I’m just making myself thirsty.”

I’ve also had some of my own experiences, as a non-drinker, where the trait seemed to be a deal breaker. For real.

Photo Ryn Gargulinski

One guy actually hid his glass of rum and coke beside him, sneaking sips, thinking I would just assume it was a glass of soda. Of course I was not going to smell the rum on his breath when he went to kiss me.

Another, after a few months of dating, actually said something to the effect of: “I can’t imagine life without beer in the house.”

Nobody was talking about moving in together, mind you. We had not even discussed plans for the next weekend. But I guess it’s better to know sooner rather than later that beer was more important than a relationship.

At a poetry reading where everyone was toasting with champagne and I held up my glass of water, a man actually turned to me and said, “You don’t drink? What’s wrong with you?”

He’s not the only one that thinks that way – and it’s kind of maddening. Drinking definitely seems to be the norm and you’re an outcast if you don’t imbibe. But you also tend to remember where you parked your car.

So what’s your take on the situation?

Have you broken up with folks because they don’t drink – or drink too much?

Has anyone ever broken up with, or not dated, you over the issue?

Give us some stories.

The Internet is such a glorious place for so much information – including dirt on any potential dates.

Do you look for warning signs about your date?/Photo and art Ryn Gargulinski

Not only can we Google any new folks we meet, but we have court records, home ownership documents and the Department of Corrections inmate search right at our fingertips. Don’t forget the controversial sex offender website, either.

Sure, checking out a date’s past can really put a damper on a relationship, especially if we find he’s done time for armed robbery or her name pops up next to page after page of naked photos.

But it can also give us an edge on finding out what a person is all about – before we’re stuck alone in a car with him or her.

Those top three dating sites – Date.com, Matchmaker.com and Amor.com – did a survey on the Google issue, asking only about blind dates.

They found that less than half of the men and women who responded – 45 percent and 42 percent, respectively – actually do Google their blind dates before they meet in person. Remember, too, that these are folks that meet each other online.

Of those who do Google their dates in advance, a whopping 80 percent of men and 71 percent of women would never admit to their dates that they did such a thing.

The main reason they wouldn’t fess up was because it would feel like they were stalking the person. Those who did fess up to doing a quick Google check said it may make for more interesting conversation.

“So, Johnny, what kind of weapon did you use for that armed robbery? Can you please pass the salt.”

What do you think?

Do you Google your dates in advance or do some type of background check?

What’s the craziest or most amazing thing you’ve found out about them?

Have you ever broken up over something you found out about a person online?

Don’t say it – don’t even think it.

This couple knew the All Souls Procession makes a great date/Ryn Gargulinski

I know, I know – all my blogs today, from the weapon as décor collection to the five death updates – have not been very cheery, perhaps.

I was going to even it out with a happy, snappy dating post. But the topic on my list is a phenomenal weekend date which just so happens to include more death: Tucson’s annual All Souls Procession.

Sigh.

Really – I did not plan this.

And I promise the All Souls Procession does NOT fill attendees and participants with gloom and doom but it is rather a celebration and honoring of our dearly departed.

Get into the fray and rhythm and you may even find yourself in the midst, quite rightly, of a spiritual experience.

Thousands of folks dress up to pay tribute to their dearly departed loved ones, both animal and human, or even a dead concept or entity.

This year’s procession will include a major death in the community over the past year that is dear to many of our hearts: the print edition of the Tucson Citizen newspaper. A gaggle of former staff will be dressed and marching to mark and mourn its passing. People I still miss daily for their humorous banter and awesome ideas.

Just one of the many fabulous puppets/Ryn Gargulinski

Tons of puppets, skeletons, skeleton puppets, floats and even pets dressed up always add another fine dimension to the festivities.

You’ll also be drawn in by the hordes of performers and the grand finale urn burn at the Franklin Street Docks, at the southwest corner of Sixth Street and Stone Avenue.

Even if you don’t have a date, feel free to go solo to the procession – you are going to meet a lot of interesting folks.

The procession starts to gather at 5 p.m. Sunday, Nov. 8 at Epic Café, corner of Fourth Avenue and University Boulevard.

Many Mouths One Stomach, the organization we can thank for pulling this together every year, asks participants register at the northwest corner of Fourth Avenue and Fourth Street. The procession begins at 6 p.m.

See AllSoulsProcession.org for a full map of the route, more information and details on other highlights of the All Souls Procession Weekend.

See – that wasn’t so horrible, was it?

What do you think?

Will you be attending the All Souls Procession?

Are you a regular or have you never been?

What’s always your highlight?

Would the All Souls Procession make a fine first date? Why or why not?

Thin is not in when it comes to dating, according to a poll taken by members of three online dating sites.

Dinner for two/Ryn Gargulinski

A hefty (excuse the pun) 85 percent of single guys said they simply adore heavier women.

Eighty percent of the men polled said the larger gals appreciate the attention more and are not as bitchy as their pin-thin counterparts; 69 percent of the guys said it’s what inside that matters; 54 percent said heavier women are better in bed; 13 percent said the rounder gals have more fun and 35 percent agreed with all of the above.

Nearly 80 percent of the guys said obese was OK, as long as he loved her.

On the flipside, 90 percent of women thought guys would find overweight women unattractive. Judging by the poll, they were way off the scale.

Go figure, pun definitely intended.

And the ladies, too, don’t mind if a guy has a few pounds to lose.

Nearly 88 percent of women polled said they feel protected by a bigger guy and “Yes, I love a teddy bear;” 74 percent said it would depend on how overweight he was but he better be healthy rather than a couch potato; and 30 percent of women wanted a guy who was fit and totally in shape.

We are not sure why the numbers don’t add up to 100 percent, unless folks were allowed to respond to more than one answer.

The sites that conducted the polls were Date.com, Matchmaker.com and Amor.com, and results were posted by parent company Avalanche, LLC.

What do you think?

Do prefer your date thin, muscular and fit or don’t you mind some extra pounds?

How many extra pounds are TOO many extra?

Would you pick your boyfriend over your dog? Your girlfriend over your boa constrictor?

Zola helped determine that one guy was a real jerk/Ryn Gargulinski

Whether we love animals or not, sometimes animals just don’t love us back – nor do our own pets always love our significant other. Or maybe the dude is allergic to dogs or the gal terrified of snakes.

When our pets don’t dig our dates, it could be a good way to gauge if someone is a jerk. If my dogs don’t like a guy, he is probably not worth hanging out with.

We have to give it some time, of course, as Sawyer and Phoebe usually don’t like anyone at first. Phoebe will growl and bark while Sawyer will go so far as to stick his head in a person’s face to gauge the person’s fear factor.

Those that don’t flinch get a second chance. Those that are afraid get menaced.

Those that dispense treats are usually quickly approved.

The most horrific pet fiasco in a relationship I can recall would have been a nightmare even without the pets. I owned Zola, an 11-pound miniature pincher, and was dating a dude we’ll call Ashol, who was about 6-feet-2 and more than 200 pounds.

He whined and whined when he claimed the dog bit him. I never saw the bite – or the blood – but I could tell Zola was none too fond of this dude.

Matters got worse when he brought over his cat. I don’t recall the cat ever being mean to me per se, but it was certainly mislabeled as a “housecat.”

The guy’s answer to a litter box was letting the cat crawl in and out through a bathroom window. Of course, he did not mention that until the cat moved into my place, clawed through a couple of screens and then proceeded to crap on the carpet in the corner anyway.

Ashol then claimed I was “seeing things” when I brought up the cat waste, which someone had attempted to clean up by smearing in an upward motion on the nearby wall.

When the cat then clawed at and popped my exercise ball, it was time for the dude to move.

In this particular case, the animals were very helpful in determining this guy was a jerk. But I think in this case, too, I could have figured that out soon enough on my own.

What do you think?

Have you had scary or negative encounters with your significant other’s pets?

Have your own pets hated someone you were dating?

Did you ever have to choose between your loved one and a beloved pet? Do tell!

Since we had so much fun with bad boys and bad girls in a previous post, let’s gallop to the opposite end of the spectrum.

Mama's boys may wear cool hats, at least/Ryn Gargulinski

Meet the mama’s boy.

There is really no female equivalent here, as this category is a definite double standard – one of the few that is in women’s favor.

Gals after a certain age who live with their parents are just trying to save money or are being loving caretakers.

Adult men who live with the parents, especially their mothers, may be on their way to becoming Norman Bates.

Of course, men can still be a mama’s boy even if they do not live with their mothers.

The mama’s boy will not make a move without dear mom’s permission, consultation or blessing. He will invariably take her side over his wife’s or girlfriend’s point of view – even if the two have been married or in a relationship for 22 years.

No woman will ever live up to his mother. Will never cook, clean, work, enunciate or even write a novel as well as she does – even if she’s never written a novel. So no one should even try.

There’s really no room for another woman in his life.

Another speculations on men who live with their parents, especially guys in their 20s and 30s, is that the dudes have a different issue going on.

They may not be mama’s boys or like Norman Bates, but they could instead be more like Peter Pan.

They don’t want to grow up. They don’t want to pay rent. They don’t wanna go to work. They don’t even want to do their own laundry.

In either case, neither Bates nor Peter Pan seems too great for dating material – unless he can get mama to do our laundry, too.

What do you think?

Have you seen an increase in mama’s boys and Peter Pans?

Have you dated any? Are you one of them?

Do you agree there is a double standard between men and women living at home?

Is it OK for adults to live with their parents – or creepy?

Nice guys – and gals – may not always finish last, but they do get shoved out of the dating game when men and women fall for folks who fall into the not-so-nice category.

He can't be a bad boy if he uses Heinz ketchup/Ryn Gargulinski

Sad, but often true.

Some of us may have been sucked into dating a “bad boy” or “bad girl” as they are edgy, mysterious, dangerous.They may also seem like a heck of a lot of fun – until they throw you in the gutter like last week’s washrag.

Here’s how you can spot them:

Bad Boys

Bad boys are those macho, uncouth fellows you see hanging out in front of clubs, bars and railroad tracks. They will be there any time of day as many of them don’t work but instead find girlfriends who will gladly let them suck off their cash.

These dudes can commonly be found wearing muscle shirts and ripped jeans. Sneers, jeers and emitting phrases like “Yo, bay-BEE” are prime bad boy indications, as are the habits of using and abusing women.

Bad Girls

Bad girls are those skanky, uncouth chicks you see hanging out in front of clubs, bars or railroad tracks. They will be there any time of day as many of them have nothing better to do than prowl the streets to look for other women’s boyfriends to steal.

These chicks are commonly found wearing low-cut and high-cut anything, as long as it shows off a lot of skin and possibly their underwear – or lack thereof. Sneers, jeers and emitting phrases like “Kiss my butt” are prime bad girl indications, as are the habits of spitting tobacco and cussing up a storm.

So why are folks attracted to these not-so-nice types?

Both exude sexuality, excitement and confidence – something that is attractive on a primitive level. Think of the peacock strutting its stuff, perhaps in a pair of ripped-up Levis. Or a black widow luring men to her web in a thigh-high miniskirt.

Sure, they may be a thrill for a date or two, but bad boys and bad girls don’t translate too well into a meaningful relationship. Unless, of course, meaningful for you is robbing a liquor store.

What do you think?

Are you attracted to the bad boy/bad girl? Are you one yourself?

What’s the most awful experience you’ve had or heard of someone having while dating one?

Tucson is full of single guys – but our fair city was stuck at No. 17 on a list of 36 when it comes to meeting them, according to a report in The Daily Beast.

Who said you can't find a "good catch" in Tucson?/Ryn Garguilnski

That put us above Detroit, but below San Francisco. We are soaring above last place El Paso but far removed from first place Atlanta.

The report rated cities of 500,000 or more based on the percentage of single men who were deemed a “good catch” with a four-year college degree and the number of places to meet them. So it factored in the number of gyms.

Being No. 17, which is nearly smack dab in the middle, is none too awful. Except Tucson was ranked right below Milwaukee. Jeffrey Dahmer prowled Milwaukee.

That doesn’t say much for Tucson.

On the plus side, the report did call Tucson “the quirkier Arizona metropolis,” which is a definite compliment, and noted a few other points:

Beast Analysis: Tucson….offers great Mexican food and Old West charm. Though there are plenty of single men here, this perennially sunny city may not be the hottest spot to find a date. The social scene outside of the University of Arizona campus is wanting, and U of A’s party-school reputation may not be far off the mark. According to our numbers, Tucson ranks low in education. Click here for Tucson’s slide show page.

And it also quoted a very fun dating blogger:

What the Locals Say: “Dating in Tucson is a total crapshoot. I’ve met everyone from self-absorbed political types to videogame-playing 40 year olds with moody artists and kooky archeologists in between.”—Ryn Gargulinski, blogger

I’ve definitely had more trouble with guys I dated in New Mexico and New York than I have in Tucson. Both places ranked below Tucson, with Albuquerque barely above the bottom at No. 31 and New York City clocking in at a paltry No. 24.

So far no dates from Tucson have stalked me or drained my bank account (knock wood). And I have yet to meet a guy like those in Milwaukee who may behead us and stick us in a freezer.

What do you think?

Where would you rate Tucson for meeting single guys – or gals? Why?

Where were your worst dating experiences?

Some of us will go to great lengths to find that perfect someone – but is $10,000 too great a length?

You could get a date if you traded in these baubles/Ryn Gargulinski

A New York City woman named Orli Ross doesn’t think so.

This pharmaceutical rep, age 33, said she spent the last two years saving up the dough to buy the services of two high-priced matchmakers, according to a report on the ABC news website.

Her “purchase” is three blind dates with eligible, ready-to-marry bachelors.

“I really want to be in a great relationship,” the report quoted Ross as saying. “I want a husband, I’d like a family. I really feel I’ve done everything that I could possibly do up to this point. So, why not?”

While the story did not say if she would get a refund if none of the dudes worked out, we highly doubt it.

Whatever happened to those freebie matchmakers like in Fiddler on the Roof? Better yet, whatever happened to singles socials or supermarkets or even online dating for free or at a considerably lower cost?

This also reeks of desperation, kind of like a mail order bride. But we don’t know why this woman would be desperate. It’s not like she’s 104 years old and has to find a husband in the next hour or so. The site also showed her photo – no, she does not have six eyes, three mouths or two heads.

Perhaps she is just lazy – or shy. Or thinks money can, in fact, buy love.

What do you think?

Is paying $10,000 for a chance at three dates ridiculous or a fine idea?

Would you do it?

What’s the greatest lengths you went to in order to meet someone?