Tucson Citizen.com
Freethought Arizona - Reason, Science, and Freedom of Expression

Make Hell Awesome!

by on Feb. 05, 2012, under Art & Culture, Biblical Inerrancy, Christian Self-Righteous Arrogance, Christianity, Clarity, Critical Thinking, Faith, God & Bible, Logic, Reason, Religion, Sanity, Science, That's Life!, Willful Ignorance

Here’s another piece from Jim Wilson:

OK, here is an interesting thought experiment, and I would love to hear everyone’s take on it.  Let’s suspend our skepticism for a while and assume that the Christian God and a devil are both real. We can simply ignore all the logical inconsistencies associated with the existence of both. Anyway, assuming there is a God and devil, and they are fighting for souls of humanity, why doesn’t the devil simply make hell awesome, or God simply loosen his requirements for acceptance.

1.The Devil:
The devil really has a huge advantage in the soul collecting game.  He is the default captor of the soul of any recently deceased person, except apparently for that minority of the population that accepts Christianity.  Christians like to paint it as though he gets all the bad people and his punishing them is some form of cosmic justice.  The reality of it though is that there are plenty of horrible people who are Christians and a ton of absolutely awesome wonderful people who are non-chrisitians. In fact many of the greatest minds and talents of all times are possessed by non-Christians & I personally would rather be hanging out eternally with them than all the pious suck-ups and bigots of the world.  I would love to be able to chat it up with Mark Twain, Kurt Vonnegut, Katherine Hepburn, Richard Feynman, Douglass Adams, Elizabeth Cady-Stanton, Carl Sagan, Charles Darwin, Isaac Asimov, Christopher Hitchens, Bill Hicks, and George Carlin, just to name a handful of the people who are apparently in hell now.  A growing number of today’s greatest minds will one day join them.

Anyway, I figure if the Devil really wanted to attract more people he could maybe turn down the sulfur, exile Kim Jong Il and the minority of Crazies there and put in a beach.  Get the temperature to a nice level and let all us free thinkers party forever. I’m sure the band would be kicking.  I’m sure John Lennon, Ian Curtis and Kurt Cobain would be happy to rock out there. Who knows, maybe John Bohnam or Keith Moon would have made it there too, and  would be willing to jam on the skins. I’d love to hear who Frank Zappa would be collaborating with.

I figure hell could be a pretty fun place, and it would be easy to recruit people  if the Devil would just be cool to his subjects. After-all, everyone knows how uptight the Christian god is, and from reading his holy book one can only conclude that he is a murderous, bigoted, insecure, man-child. Satan could really make a good case that God is really the bad guy and a lot of people would view his place to be the preferable alternative. If Satan took this strategy he would not need to be making back room deals and exchanging souls for blues playing ability on the Mississippi delta.  He could come straight out and advertise. In short, the Devil just needs to make hell awesome.

2.  God:
God could follow the same strategy. He could exile all the pedophile priests, Hitler, Jerry Falwell and all the other Creeps and Sycophants he has now, and embrace diversity. God has done nothing to lead any thoughtful intelligent person in this day and age to think he exists, so why not embrace diversity and let people with a wider range of beliefs in?  I mean even someone as vain as the Christian God would have to get sick of people praising him and telling him how great he is all the time. Maybe it would be nice to have people who practice some honest skepticism around. Rather for some reason we are to believe God wants to surround himself forever with prudes, cowards, kiss-ups, bigots and fundamentalists zealots.  I don’t see why the Christian concept of heaven would appeal to anyone.

Anyway, both God and Satan, if they really wanted to pump up their soul collection, should just make their presence known to humanity in a verifiable, objectively demonstrable manner and make the resting places they offer more suitable for thinking people.

 

More in Pol. & Govt.:

Obama and same sex marriage

This entry was posted on Sunday, February 5th, 2012 at 4:00 pm and is filed under Art & Culture, Biblical Inerrancy, Christian Self-Righteous Arrogance, Christianity, Clarity, Critical Thinking, Faith, God & Bible, Logic, Reason, Religion, Sanity, Science, That's Life!, Willful Ignorance. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

RSS feed for this post (comments)
  • Tip O’Neill

    “Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company” – Mark Twain

  • Anne Erdman

    A Sign should be posted at the church doors …. for sinners only…we are all sinners…christian and non-  there are good nons- and good christians -bad nons- and bad christians-just cause one is a christian, does not make one good..A Christian is one who believes that Jesus Christ is the son of God and follows the readings of the BIBLE and life that Christ will lead one in…. change comes from God , it is His business…He is in the converting/change business(not Obama either)…don’t glorify Hell you might be disapointed for a long long time…God does not make you believe in Him…you do have a choice ..so don’t..or do….He is God ..not me, not you…it is not about making it comfortable or attractive…(although it is)….It is what God said…He is God and He can say and do as He pleases…God said it and that settles it…more can be read about that in a book…Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth…although easier to understand when you do accept Christ and He will give you ah ha moments of wisdom of the Word…instead of humanly justification and comprehension (almost impossible with such a complex dialog)  oh yeah and it is not about being popular or talented , famous, cool, rich,  Jesus did ride in on a donkey and He does choose those that are usually hurting humble and in need cause other wise we are too cool……we bad..we in control and don’t need such a ferrytale….they told me to try it…you’ll like it…if not …we will refund your misery…..you are right …there are going to be alot of people together  in misery….that is why it is such a narrow road….not many people on it…works for me…I don’t like crowds…

    • Tip O’Neill

      >.A Christian is one who believes that Jesus Christ is the son of God and follows the readings of the BIBLE and life that Christ will lead one in

      Exactly - Gandhi goes to hell, along with millions of Asians but Falwell goes to heaven 

      I prefer to spend my eternity with Socrates rather than the Pope, thanks, even if it is warmer, 

      • Anne Erdman

        .. the pope may not even go to heaven (one cannot worship Mary, honor yes, worship- NO) and gandhi may have come to believe that Christ is the answer at the last moment of life here on earth ‘as we see it’ (we don’t know)  Jeffrey Dommer (sp?) accepted Jesus as his savior on death row,  oh!! how can we accept such forgiveness,??  People can’t- God can…we cannot understand the ways and love of God (we think sex)  NOT…there is a spiritual world out there…a battle of good and evil..Jesus will win in the end…Satan will continue to paint a pretty picture…HE IS A LIAR!  Christ suffered, why should we not??we are not to say -again God is in control…it is not a smorgasbord of pick and choose…  and we can’t pick religion (man made ideas) who is right….  all the different religions ,  well we all can’t be right….this IS serious business   the only one religion is Jesus Christ..”I am the way the truth and the life”
        God Bless you 

        • Tip O’Neill

          > gandhi may have come to believe that Christ is the answer at the last moment of life here on earth

          Sure – and Socratese and the millions who lived in asia and never heard of “Christ”.

          How much do you have to lie to yourself to believe that people are rewarded or punished based upon what they believe, and not how they act.

          That’s the problem with christianity – no responsibility. That’s why christians have such high crime rates – they are “saved” 

          • Anne Erdman

            in order to believe in anything  guess you are right …one does have to lie to oneself….unless it is the truth..I did not say who is rewarded or punished….we are quick forgetters…God said it ..I believe the bible is the word of God…He does create all things and He doesnt have to make Heaven attractive…how could He out do what he has already done in the sunsets, sunrise, mountains of AZ etc, or the ardvark  lol….but I bet the New Jerusalem is going to be breathe taking…I am not sure about the ones who have not had the opportunity to experience Christ as in the pre-Jesus days…the bible is so complex but from what I understand there is going to be a time/event(Great White throne Judgement) I am no expert-Jesus is…that they too will bow down and worship or have another time with the Lord….are you ready ??  dont’ wait too long..ok  less is more….type thing   we really do not need 30 brands of ketchup
             

            • Tip O’Neill

              >dont’ wait too long
              You just said people could wait forever because “a time will come” :)

              OK – I understand that it doesn’t bother you that what you say makes no sense – but for some of us something has to make sense to “believe” it. 

              • Anne Erdman

                We that are alive now/past and have heard of Christ  or given the opportunity , need to decide cause we are given the chance now… those that never heard will have a chance but they have been dead and waiting for the time  when Jesus  comes to earth a second time..Jesus told his diciples,  I am leaving but you will see me come back just as you see me leave…(paraphrased, as I don’t have bible on me) the disciples asked when will this be…Jesus said , “no one will know the day or hour not even the angles know , but God knows…many believe this second coming is coming soon…we do not know the day or hour , but Jesus said there will be signs of earthquakes, famine, love of oneself, kids rebelling, etc, yes these have always happen but, I can say in my 60 years of life , I have not ever experienced things like now,  Iran is about to close the chapter of Revelations…hard read!
                more can be read about that in a book…Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth…although easier to understand when you do accept Christ and He will give you ah ha moments of wisdom of the Word…instead of humanly justification and comprehension (almost impossible with such a complex dialog)  It is complicated,( good movie),  anyway, wisdom is different than knowledge which we try with understanding to believe in…it is spiritual…to be a christian, one has to honestly, whole heartedly accept Jesus as the son of God.as one’s personal savior..God will do the rest….get with a relaxed church(prferably non-denominational) and learn more in a bible study group, preferably small…you can always change if you don’t like the groups….you don’t have to believe either – you can go to see if you like it

                • Todd

                  Well Tip, I’d suggest you take her up on it and join a bible study class … :-)   LOL  It makes perfect sense to me. Har d har har!

                  • Tip O’Neill

                    Funny – every time I talk to these people it turns out that I know more about the Bible than they do.
                    I think their “studying” must consist of making up stories about how it doesn’t really say what it plainly says. 

                    • Todd

                      Every atheist knows the B.I.B.L.E. better than any Christian.  It’s why they are atheists.  Christians comprehension and ability to reason, just isn’t so!  It’s too bad she runs terrified in this life and instead chooses to prepare for an afterlife.  Better to enjoy this one.

                    • Anne Erdman

                      cool…

                    • Anne Erdman

                      cool is suppose to be attached to this reply…..
                      cool…glad you have read  the Bible….I think God does talk to each and everyone of us differently…. He gives us what we need when we need it…in many different ways

                  • Anne Erdman

                    lets all go together….pick you up 6:30…come as you are

                    • Anne Erdman

                      already enjoyed this life…got chirosis of the liver ….enjoyed it so much….been arrested… and lost a husband to the joys of the world…nahhhh don’t need sympathy  …..  Love this life 

                    • Todd

                      Based on the life image you painted below, it sounds as though you were looking for and found a crutch.
                       

          • Tim

            - “more can be read about that in a book…Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth”
            - “That’s why christians have such high crime rates”

            We got ourselves a regular Stupidity Olympics going on in here.

            • leftfield

              “We got ourselves a regular Stupidity Olympics going on in here.”

              Myself, I think Tip is on the right track.  Reading Ms. Erdman’s comments, or the similar comments of others of her ilk, it should be clear that no logical argument can ever dissuade them from their beliefs.  If folks have an epiphany, it generally comes from a personal experience much stronger than can be found on the pages of a blog.  So, you might as well have some fun with it.

              • Anne Erdman

                yeah, it kills time while we wait upon the  Lord…. :)  I know I am going…..

                • Anne Erdman

                  God will do the persuading….

                • Todd

                  Any moment now would be fine.

                  • Tim

                    Classy.

                  • Anne Erdman

                    AMEN AMEN AMEN

              • Tim

                Maybe you guys should wear capes and swing folding chairs at each other and blast heavy metal when you make a post.

                • Anne Erdman

                  When the Lord sets you free you are free indeed….why would I have fear other than our world’s juggling with nuclear bombs…I don’t think I will be here for that either…..ahhh yeah, I am afraid I might be…or I might not have enough food as it is all processed anyway  or I am afraid I won’t have chocolate….or be able to pay my bills ….or  travel to see my mom…or…I do have fear like everyone else…Christians are the same …but they believe in JESUS   yes!!!
                   

                  • Todd

                    > but they believe in JESUS   yes!!!
                     
                    That makes your life more apposite how?

                    • Anne Erdman

                      I already covered that….I read and believe in Jesus Christ the son of God and the bible which is the word of the Lord  and follow Jesus plan He has for me…I did not find a crutch …. He found me…hope He finds you too it is awesome trip… better than Stolli’s…I in intensive care for 7 days…Dr. said I was not going to make it ….God said …I will…to be here today on this blog ….for whatever…apposite??  try it you’ll like it

                    • Anne Erdman

                      There is so much more than just believing…when one accepts Christ as their savior…one is a new creature…look out..really going to knock your heads off guys…you are born again…..ahhhhhhhhh  have fun

                    • Anne Erdman

                      I have joy and hope in the now and eternity…
                       

                    • Anne Erdman

                      did anyone hear any strange noises out there….??  like a groaning or moaning in the wind ??

                    • Anne Erdman

                      Ohhh,  I am sorry to intrude didn’t even realize until I read the left hand column “What is Freethought Arizona” who I was communicating with but thank you for your time…was a good debate…have a good life… :)

  • Anne Erdman

    BIBLE   basic instructions before leaving earh….
    correction to last post ….that is why, HEAVEN, has such a narrow road,  there are not many people on it 

«
»