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Archive for April, 2009

Sexting, stripping and self-respect

Friday, April 24th, 2009

It could be that I’m miserably out-of-touch, as certainly some of my children might say, but when boys stand and cheer when girls walk in the room because their shorts are basically underwear, then those girls need to realize that those boys are looking at them not as people but as things. Slut-things in particular. Story about this over at Ann Arbor News, with this trenchant graf:

“These were really short shorts, so short the boys stood up and cheered when the girls all walked into class,” said Liz Margolis, the school district spokeswoman.
This depressing news (why do girls think this is good???) follows on the heels of semi-old news (in terms of the 24-hour news cycle) that one in five teens have participated in “sexting” which, for folks who’ve been living in a cave, is when the 13-20 y/o set (girls primarily) take a cell phone pix of themselves in various states of nekkidness.

The practice got lots of media coverage recently when some state legislatures proposed charging these teens as “child pornographers” instead of just realizing they were suffering from an extra beating with the Stupid Stick. It also got some coverage when Jessica Logan killed herself after her boyfriend – who had requested and received a sexted naked photo of Jessica – shared Jessica’s body with about 100 close friends, resulting in Jessica being tormented and shunned to the point of taking her own life.

That should be lesson one for girls: A boy who asks for a bare-buff photo of you? Probably can’t be trusted. Lesson number two? The Internet is forever, and chances that your private photo of bareness eventually winds up there are pretty good.

Ellen Goodman has a great piece saying sexting shouldn’t be criminalized but that girls really need better education about boys and trust. Because, natch, it is almost always boys asking girls for the photos and the girls (dumb, dumb, dumb), thinking the boy actually gives a damn about her as a person rather than just her as a mode of gratification, send the photos. Sexting isn’t so much about pornography as it is about harassment and bullying. You know, the modern-day version of the car backseat negotiation that starts with: “If you loved me you would….”

Somewhere along the line (thank you Sex and the City, Brittney Spears, MTV and BET Media) girls and young women have come to see stripping as powerful, initiating casual sexual encounters as “being in control,” and providing themselves as grind-poles on dance floors as attractive. (If you click on that link, look at the expression on the man’s face. Does it say “I love you?” I didn’t think so. And the woman — famous? —- looks clueless that she’s being used as a sex toy. Self-respect? Not self-evident.)

We have to somehow help girls and young women understand that true power is in their brains, not their bodies, and that true love is private, intimate and shows itself behind closed doors, not on the dance floor or the iPhone.

The final journey the "green" way

Tuesday, April 21st, 2009

National Catholic Reporter has a story that’s generating a lot of traffic this morning about the first U.S. Catholic cemetery to offer a “green burial option.

Mt. Carmel Cemetery near Detroit, has become the first U.S. Catholic cemetery to offer a green burial option. Technically, Mt. Carmel isn’t all green; it’s a “hybrid” cemetery because it offers the regular get-embalmed-get-laid-in-fancy-casket along with the natural, green method, by which the deceased is laid to rest “without embalmment, entombment or the use of non-biodegradable materials,” according to NCR.

Only one-half an acre of the 12.5 acre cemetery will be for green burials and in that section, the caskets will be biodegradable and families can substitute shrouds or blankets in place of that casket if they so choose. Another good thing about this green option is that it is a viable option to cremation, something the Catholic Church has allowed for a couple of decades but something that is still distasteful to many.

Hiking Theology

Wednesday, April 15th, 2009


I got to go on a hike on Easter Sunday. Normally, we’d do the family food fest, but stress in the M-F world had me desperate for the outdoors. So I packed some ham sandwiches and apples, and headed to Sabino Canyon‘s Phoneline Trail with the amazing Clare and the equally amazing Hunt.

Hanging out with college kids to me is like what I imagine cocaine is for other people: I just feel better after I’ve gotten my “fix.” Not all college students, mind you; the banal and immature drain me and cause me to despair for the future of the world. But luckily, the college students I’m most frequently around are either from Student Leadership at the UA or young, thinking Catholics from the Newman Center. Students in these groups are the cream of the crop – intelligent, discerning individuals who want to make a difference and refuse to let their idealism be beat out of them by skeptics, cynics or the crass culture surrounding them.

And so it was, as demonstrated by this post’s picture, I found myself listening to Hunt explain how Martin Luther came up with his theology of salvation through grace alone. I’d gone to Easter Mass earlier that day — and I recall thinking at the time that the sermon was good. But what I remember of Easter now is not that sermon, but Hunt’s fervent explanation of Luther and his theology of salvation though grace alone. (As a fine philosophy and religious studies undergrad, Hunt prefaced his sharing with, “I’m not a Luther scholar, but….”). There’s something to be said for religion in the great outdoors. And, that very thing will be the subject of tomorrow’s post re: the 7th of the Top 10 reasons people leave the Catholic Church. So stay tuned.

April 2009
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