Christiana Morgan – Remembering to be Femaleby Jacquelyn Jackson on Feb. 20, 2012, under Uncategorized
In the dream, a blue-robed woman commanded me to come, follow. There was a black wall, long and tall, that had kept me back for years, centuries, forever. I sat down beside it. I was with a man who did not want me to go. He said, “I am afraid.” I asked him, “Must I also be afraid?” and he said, “Yes, you must, you must.”
The man fell down upon his face and wept. He said, “I cannot do it. You are strange and terrible. You command me to lead you into fearful places.”
I looked down upon him. I saw a living picture upon his white back change. A mangled red bird gnawed at his throat until his head fell off. A new head grew upon the man. Then the man looked down and saw the red bird pecking at his throat. He seized the bird and killed it. When I saw this, I felt great pity. I knelt down beside the man who lay weeping upon the ground. I picked him up in my arms, and sat beside the black wall. I said to him, “Wait, I have seen what is written upon your back. You will be healed.”
Grief then, my own, overwhelmed me. I sat and wailed. Cried the tears of forever, for all that has been and that should be no more. Suddenly, a gate appeared in the wall and out flew many phantoms. They whirled about us, but I told them to leave him alone. “He sleeps.”
Before me, fire sprang up from the earth. It became a tree of fire. Above, I beheld the star. I laid the man upon the ground and bathed his face with water. I turned and went toward the great gate in the black wall. It sprang open for me. I entered a cavern. It was dark.
A woman in a blue robe walked ahead of me. I approached to speak to her. She put her finger to her lips and said, “Follow me. You enter upon a place of fear.”
I said, “Why should I follow you?”
I saw that she was an old withered woman. She said, “You have little faith. Behold.” She pulled off her robe. I saw a beautiful woman. She was all green and about her was a green light. She put on the blue robe and changed again into the old woman.
She said, “You enter among the ghosts. Cover your face with this gray veil. They must not see you.”
I did as she bade me. We entered a great circle in the rocks. I saw ghosts and phantoms whirling around, moaning, writhing. Some reached down to clutch us with great claws. Others were beautiful and voluptuous. Still others with pinched and haggard faces screamed and rent the air.
The woman at my side said, “I will show you.” She walked to the center of the circle.
There the phantoms clutched and tore at her. I cried out in fear. Then by some strange magic, she became whole again and led me forth from that place of dread out upon the narrow path beyond. I asked, “How did we emerge?”
She said, “I was with you. Without me, you would have been lost. You have passed through a dark region of your own soul.”