Today I debut a new Locally, Vocally feature: “Low Budget Theatrics”
Please turn off all other social media while you enjoy the show. Then turn it back on & forward this to everyone you know.
LOW BUDGET THEATRICS PRESENTS: THE BIG DEBATE
A, long, long time ago… in a fictional political district far, far away… two — oh, wait, three. Right. Three — imaginary candidates came together for a historic hypothetical debate.
Yoda – Democrat, Dagobah System
Prince Charming – Republican, Enchanted Kingdom
Timmy – Green Party, Colorado
Moderators — Mickey Mouse, Disneyland MEO; Nala — Future Queen of Pride Rock
Nala: “Prince Charming, we’re going to start with you. Many seniors are worried about losing their benefits. What would you say to reassure them?”
Prince Charming: “Silence wench, I must defend my honor without delay. Mine opponent is a scurvy knave, and hath cursed me through sorcery most foul.”
Nala: “Mr. Charming, please stay on point. What would you do to protect benefits?”
Prince C: “Ah, you piteous serf. Again your addled peasant wit turns to fantasies of mirth. Fret not, simpleton. Greater minds than yours are at play.”
Nala: Um… alright… Mr. Yoda, how do you feel about the Prince?
Yoda: “Wrong for the Federation is he. A disturbance in the force I feel.”
Nala: “Excuse me?”
Mickey: “Mr. Timmy, you have something to add?”
Mickey: “Interesting point, Timmy. Prince Charming, what would you say to Mr. Timmy’s assertion?”
Prince C: “You wretched dolt! Can you not see the devil before you? Mine assailant is clearly in league with witches! Mark my words; your mangy hide will soon feel the lash of his sorcerous machinations!
Mickey: “OK… well… Mr. Yoda, what is your position on renewable energy?”
Mickey: “We’ll come to you next, Mr. Timmy. Yoda, please continue.”
Yoda: “Harness our power to, look the light to must we.”
Mickey: “So you advocate increasing solar power?”
Mickey: “Uh… yeah. Mr. Charming? Would you focus on alternative fuels?”
Prince C: “What an asinine proposition. When I am king, mine coffers shall outweigh the riches of a thousand sultans, for the breadth of my domain roils with untold bounty!!!
Nala: “Sure. Moving on. So, Mr. Yoda, what is your opinion of the government’s new health care program?”
Yoda: “Strong the force is young padawan in. Learn, alas, still much to.”
Prince C: “Nonsense! ‘Tis a fool’s errand to minister to the plagues of the unwashed. Let them eat cake.
Nala: Sigh. On another note… Your Highness, do you agree with campaign finance reform?
Prince C: “Alas, plebian, your feeble mind is indeed a treacherous demon. Shall you never tire of this preposterous anguish?
Nala: I just can’t…
Mickey: I know. Take a minute. I’ll get this.
Mickey: “Ahem. Mr. Yoda… Your thoughts on finance reform?”
Yoda: “Trust the Dark Side you cannot. M!mMm!!mmM!m.”
Nala: “That’s it. I’m outta here.”
Mickey: “Find a happy place! Find a happy place!”
– CURTAIN –
*Locally, Vocally and Low Budget Theater are humorous commentary. Don’t over think it.