For some time now, the most passionate supporters of the Iraq war have tried to shut up war critics with the claim that people can’t truthfully say they both support the troops and oppose the war.

It’s an infuriating, often effective tactic.

But if it’s true, how do you account for the family members of military men and women speaking out against the war?

Boosted by the support of Military Families Speak Out (MFSO) and other anti-war groups, many are saying enough is enough. Bring our loved ones home, they demand.

Bonnie Wright, who works at a Tucson title and escrow company, has two sons in the U.S. Army.

The elder, Sgt. Casey Wright, 35, is serving a newly extended tour of duty in Iraq. It is his second.

Wright, a graduate of Canyon del Oro High School and home-stationed at Fort Richardson in Alaska, “rides on the Humvee and mans the turret gun,” his mother said.

Bonnie Wright describes herself as a patriot who wants terrorism attacks on our country stopped.

“However, after saying that, I do feel that our action in Iraq has led us astray from our original goal,” she said.

She wants the country to get back on track, which to her means locating and preventing terrorists from killing Americans and getting out of the way of Iraq’s civil war.

Wright declined to describe her son’s position on Iraq.

“My son has always been taught that his duty is to whatever commitment he makes and he is staunch in that commitment and he will do his duty. . . . That will come first with him.

“It’s up to the people who support them to speak out and give an opinion . . . about these things.”

Tucsonan Bonnie McCoy-Ernst, a member of MFSO, met her future husband in 2005 while working at the Seward Military Resort in Alaska.

“We became friends. I wasn’t interested in him romantically and kind of fought it for the whole summer until he finally won me over,” she said.

McCoy married Spc. David Ernst on Sept. 30. A week later, Ernst, stationed at Fort Richardson, was sent to Iraq.

There were rumors the deployment might be shortened to six or nine months. Instead, it was extended earlier this month, along with all Army tours in Iraq and Afghanistan, to 15 months.

Ernst drives a Hummer, is first in the convoy line and likely would take the brunt of the damage if the convoy came across a roadside bomb, McCoy-Ernst said. “It’s very scary.”

With every vote to continue or fund the war, McCoy-Ernst said, “You’re sending all these kids to face their fate.”

Her husband is 21. She’s 22.

“This war is a crock,” McCoy-Ernst said. “Like most Americans, we were deceived in the beginning.”

She said her husband and other soldiers he works with have become demoralized.

“I know his friends have written letters home saying, ‘This is crappy. I’m not fighting for my country anymore. I’m just fighting for my loved ones, so I can make it home.’ ”

A Military Times poll published in December showed that 41 percent of military personnel surveyed still believe we should have invaded Iraq. About half still believe we can win, down from 83 percent in 2004.

Beverley Sutton, a Pima Community College student and MFSO member, said her son joined the military straight out of high school.

He was inspired by the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks “to fight the bad guys” and earn money for college. He supported the war in Afghanistan.

But as far as Iraq, she said, “we are both anti-this-war.”

“We were lied to to get in Iraq. Iraq never had a thing to do with 9/11. Every time they try to link it to 9/11, it infuriates me.”

Sutton’s 21-year-old son is a military intelligence analyst. She asked that we not print her son’s name to avoid causing problems with his superiors.

In speaking out, those interviewed here are breaking the long tradition of military spouses and family members keeping a stiff upper lip.

But they feel they can’t do otherwise.

The war is raging into a fifth year. In addition to facing longer deployments, military personnel have been sent back for second and third tours.

The number of dead U.S. military personnel has risen to 3,332, the number of injured to 25,000. The soldiers have missed holidays, births of children and other mileposts in their sons’ and daughters’ lives.

The family members interviewed knew they would be in for some harsh criticism, including accusations that they can’t possibly support the troops if they don’t support the war.

And they have equally harsh responses.

“One percent of the country is carrying the burden of this war,” Sutton said. “I believe that is totally unfair. And I believe for everybody else to sit back, relax, eat pizza and drive in their Hummers with their faded yellow ribbons on the bumper, claiming they are supporting the troops, is a flat-out lie.”

McCoy-Ernst dismisses the idea that she doesn’t support the troops as “absolute nonsense.”

She’s been told she’s “spitting in soldiers’ faces” and that she’s a “disgrace” of a military wife.

“No,” she said, “this war is a disgrace!”

Anne’s blog: news, analysis, updates.Anne T. Denogean can be reached at 573-4582 and adenogean@tucsoncitizen.com. Address letters to P.O. Box 26767, Tucson, AZ 85726-6767. Her column runs Tuesdays and Fridays.

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