Dr. Leman, I’m writing on behalf of Gov. (Janet) Napolitano’s underage drinking prevention campaign, Draw the Line. It launched Oct. 29, and you may have heard about it in the news. Our goal is to influence adult attitudes and behavior surrounding underage alcohol use, and to educate adults about research indicating that alcohol consumption predisposes children to other addictions because their brains are not fully developed.

We wondered if you would be willing to devote a column to underage drinking and advice you have for families addressing this topic before or after it has occurred?

Tara La Bouff

Draw the Line

Answer: Hooray for the governor and her initiative. On behalf of insurance companies and parents everywhere, thank God that somebody is willing to step up and address this tragic problem that takes the lives of many young people.

For the parents who believe their role is to be their children’s best friend and always make sure their children are happy and well-liked, stop providing booze for your underage children and hotel rooms, as many parents do, after the senior prom or graduation.

And parents, in this day of impersonal relationships, it’s so important to get to know the families that your kids run with. Stay in contact with them so that they are on top of the kinds of activities that their kids are engaged in. Know where they are at all times.

The message that this campaign is sending to parents is that getting drunk and underage drinking is not a rite of passage.

It’s the same mindset that has pervaded our society for years about boys: “Boys will be boys.” That just doesn’t fly anymore. We live in an era where kids are growing up way too fast, experiencing far too many things in their young lives. The bottom line is that lives and families are destroyed through alcohol.

If I could say there is a scourge upon our nation, it would certainly center around drugs and alcohol. And be clear about this: Alcohol is a drug.

Every parent should make sure that their kids are streetwise about the effects of alcohol. Sooner or later your sons or daughters will be at a party where some young person shows off by drinking straight booze. If you want a way to kill yourself, there it is.

Providing information to your kids can not only be a help to your kids, it also can be a help to other people’s children by making them aware of what a tremendous problem this is.

On a personal note, when I was in high school, it seemed like everybody who was popular drank. And I’m still not completely sure why I haven’t had my first beer, at my age. It may have had something to do with the fact that my father drank far too many beers.

If there could ever be a selling point to a young man as to how to hit it off with his girlfriend’s parents, gain the reputation for being different from other guys. Let the word get out that you are a nondrinker. All of the parents of the girls I dated in high school really liked me. Word traveled fast among parents that Leman wasn’t a drinker.

Kids are always going to do things that aren’t the best for them. But when you start acting in a irresponsible way with booze, you run the risk of ending your life and the lives of those around you.

Kevin Leman is a Tucson psychologist and the author of more than 30 books, including “Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.” Send questions to whatsupdoc@tucsoncitizen.com. Photo by Tom Spitz Photography.

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