The giant dinosaur was moved last week.

Tucson’s Charlie Spillar may not have parted the Red Sea, but he has moved mountainous structures.

Spillar found new homes for a gaggle of giant golf course statues that were destined for the dump.

Spillar’s efforts have been noticed, now very publicly with a certificate awarded to him by the Tucson Mayor and City Council at Tuesday’s Council meeting.

The structures included a 50,000-pound tiki head, a 17-foot monkey, a 15,000-pound T-Rex, a sizable skull and a behemoth bull. Many went to private homes, others to area businesses.

Artist Lee Koplin created the cement statues more than 30 years ago and they were part of Magic Carpet Golf, 6125 E. Speedway Blvd., which is now slated to become a car lot.

“I did a sculpture that took more than 1,000 hours and it ended up in a landfill,” said artist Spillar, who doubles as the spokesman for the 1920s-era fantasyland Valley of the Moon.

“That’s the main reason I have been trying to save these Magic Carpet Golf gentle creatures from a similar fate.”

_____

I would have loved to have one of the things in my yard but I’m burdened with an HOA.

Any comment from folks who took one of the statues to a new home?

What about from folks who have the statues as a new neighbor?

Would you want to live next to a 17-foot monkey?

New dinosaur owner Steve Kippur of AMCEP Metals makes friends with his new yard mate, a 15,000-pound T-Rex.

The dinosaur was moved last week.

Charlie Spillar's giant buzzard statue took more than 1,000 hours to create and ended up in a landfill.

Source: Healthy Mothers Healthy Babies

For more parenting information, go to the Tucson nonprofit New Parents Network’s Web site, www.npn.org.

ATLANTA – The percentage of births to unmarried women in the United States has been rising sharply, but it’s way behind northern European countries, a new U.S. report on births shows.

Iceland is the leader with 6 in 10 births occurring among unmarried women. About half of all births in Sweden and Norway are to unwed moms, while in the U.S., it’s about 40 percent.

France, Denmark and the United Kingdom also have higher percentages than the United States, according to the report from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

The U.S. and at least 13 other industrialized nations have seen significant jumps in the proportion of unmarried births since 1980, said Stephanie Ventura of the CDC’s National Center for Health Statistics.

Rates have doubled and even tripled in these countries, according to the CDC report released Wednesday.

“Basically we’re seeing the same patterns,” Ventura said, noting the trend has accelerated in the last five years.

Experts are not certain what’s causing the trend but say there seems to be greater social acceptance of having children outside of marriage.

“The values surrounding family formation are changing and women are more independent than they used to be. And young people don’t feel they have to live under the same social rules that their parents once did,” said Carl Haub, a demographer at the Population Reference Bureau in Washington, D.C.

But there are differences in how unmarried pregnancies are viewed in different countries.

In the United States, unmarried mothers are more likely to be on their own and traditionally they are more likely to be poor and uneducated, experts said.

In northern Europe, men and women more often live together in unmarried, long-term, stable relationships, Haub said.

Because of declining birth rates in some European countries, people tend to be more focused on whether the baby is born healthy instead of whether the mother is married, Haub said.

The CDC previously has reported on the percentage of U.S. births to unmarried mothers. The new report gathers previously released information from other countries to make an international comparison.

The report shows trends from 1980 to the most recent years available – 2007 for the United States and most of the other countries, but 2006 for six nations.

Japan had the lowest percentage of unmarried births, with 2 percent in 2007, up from 1 percent in 1980.

Increases were much more dramatic in the other countries, with Italy rising from 4 percent to 21 percent, Ireland from 5 percent to 33 percent, Canada from 13 to 30 percent, and the United Kingdom from 12 percent to 44 percent.

WASHINGTON – Deterred by immigration laws and the lackluster economy, the population growth of Hispanics and Asians in the U.S. has slowed unexpectedly, causing the government to push back estimates on when minorities will become the majority by as much as a decade.

Census data released Thursday showed that the nation’s overall minority population continues to rise steadily, adding 2.3 percent in 2008 to 104.6 million, or 34 percent of the total population. But the slowdown among Hispanics and Asians continues to shift conventional notions on when the tipping point in U.S. diversity will come – estimated to occur more than three decades from now.

According to the latest data, the percentage growth of Hispanics slowed from 4.0 percent in 2001 to 3.2 percent last year. Their slowed population growth would have been greater if it weren’t for their high fertility – nearly 10 births for every death.

Asian population increases slowed from 3.7 percent in 2001 to about 2.5 percent. Hispanics and Asians still are the two fastest-growing minority groups, making up about 15 percent and 4.4 percent of the U.S. population, respectively.

Thirty-six states had lower Hispanic growth in 2008 compared with the year before. The declines were in places where the housing bubble burst, such as Nevada and Arizona, which lost construction jobs that tend to attract immigrants.

Arizona’s total population grew by 2.3 percent from 2007 to 2008, slightly below its 2.6 percent average growth rate for the eight preceding years.

Hispanics grew by 4 percent statewide from 2007 to 2008 compared to an average 4.6 percent growth rate for prior years and Asians grew by 4.8 percent during the same time frame compared to an average rate of 5.7 percent for the 2000 to 2007 years.

Trend also seen in Southeast

Other decreases were seen in new immigrant destinations in the Southeast, previously seen as offering good manufacturing jobs in lower-cost cities compared to the pricier Northeast. In contrast, cities in California, Illinois and New Jersey showed gains.

In Arkansas, manufacturing and poultry companies have cut hours and workers, leaving a growing number of Hispanics unable to cover their mortgage payments, said Maribel Tapia, a housing counselor in Fayetteville, Ark. Fathers are moving out of state, where other relatives have lines on menial jobs that support the families they leave behind, she said.

Police in northwest Arkansas created an immigration task force with the help of U.S. immigration agents.

“I don’t think it’s more likely they’re going back to Mexico or El Salvador or wherever they’re from,” she said. “They’re just calling different family members in different states and asking around about work. They just pack up and move.”

The political effects can be high. Minorities turned out in record numbers in November to vote, largely for Democrat Barack Obama for president, and Hispanic groups are expected to flex their growing clout in future elections as they push immigration reform.

More than a dozen states also stand to gain or lose House seats after the 2010 census depending on last-minute shifts in population.

“Not just whites are staying put, but minorities are staying put and immigrants are staying put,” said Mark Mather, associate vice president of the nonprofit Population Reference Bureau, citing in part a declining economy that has locked the U.S. population largely in place.

“I was surprised the drop in Hispanic growth rates wasn’t bigger given the decline in immigration,” he said. “Government policy will certainly have a major effect on future race and ethnic composition if Congress takes some action on immigration reform.”

The Census Bureau projected last August that white children will become the minority in 2023 and the overall white population will follow in 2042. The agency now says it will recalculate those figures, typically updated every three to four years, because they don’t fully take into account anti-immigration policies after the September 2001 terror attacks and the current economic recession.

The new projections, expected to be released later this year, could delay the tipping point for minorities by 10 years, given the current low rates of immigration, David Waddington, the Census Bureau’s chief of projections, said in a telephone interview.

“Policies changed,” he said, in explaining why the scientific estimates were no longer valid.

Blacks, who comprise about 12.2 percent of the population, have increased at a rate of about 1 percent each year. Whites, with a median age of 41, have increased very little in recent years because of low birth rates and an aging boomer population.

The migration shift could continue for a while, said William Frey, a demographer at the Brookings Institution, citing the bursting of an unprecedented housing bubble in 2005-2006 that is helping reshape the economy.

“What this means is that the idea of creating new Asian and Hispanic enclaves in different parts of the United States will undergo a bit of a wall,” said Frey. “Those staying in these enclaves will be competing for jobs with long-term residents, while others will return to social support systems in major gateways.”

Six U.S. counties saw their minority populations become the majority, including Orange County, Fla., the nation’s 35th most populous county that is home to Orlando. Webster County in Georgia had a majority of minority groups in 2007 but reverted back to a white majority in 2008.

In all, about 309 of the nation’s 3,142 counties, or 1 in 10, have minority populations greater than 50 percent. Other counties that become majority-minority in 2008 were Stanislaus in California; Finney in Kansas; Warren in Mississippi; and Edwards and Schleicher counties in Texas.

Other findings:

• There are 48 majority Hispanic counties nationally; the top 10 were all in Texas. The gateway cities of Los Angeles, New York, Miami, Houston and Chicago had the greatest number of Hispanics.

• Seventy-seven counties are majority-black; all were in the South. Atlanta edged past Chicago in the number of blacks, ranking second after New York City. They were followed by Washington and Philadelphia.

• Honolulu County, Hawaii, was the only majority Asian county in the nation. New York City had the highest population of Asians, surpassing Los Angeles. Asians also numbered the most in San Francisco; San Jose, Calif.; and Chicago.

• California, the nation’s most populous state, also had the most number of whites. Maine and Vermont had the highest share of whites at 95 percent each.

In Nashville, Tenn., Maria Lopez, a 49-year-old Mexican immigrant, said business is down 80 percent at the restaurant she runs, and 10 to 15 people come in a day asking for jobs, mostly Hispanics.

Lopez said she had to cut back on the amount of money she was sending back home to her family in Mexico. Although she’s been in the U.S. for 13 years, she is thinking about returning to Mexico.

“I am just making enough to pay the lease and the bills,” Lopez said through a translator. “If things continue like that, I will leave.”

The 2008 census estimates used local records of births and deaths, tax records of people moving within the U.S., and census statistics on immigrants.

The figures for “white” refer to those whites who are not of Hispanic ethnicity. Since the government considers “Hispanic” an ethnicity, people of Hispanic descent can be of any race.

The nonprofit group tells The Associated Press the gift from J. Ronald Terwilliger will help it build 60,000 homes worldwide. It’s the largest individual contribution in Habitat’s history.

Terwilliger, an Atlanta-based developer, says he hopes it will offer the world’s neediest more access to decent, affordable homes.

He says he also wanted to “inspire others to make the commitment to support affordable housing.”

The gift is one of the largest in recent years to a group devoted to social services, according to the Center on Philanthropy at Indiana University. A center official called it “remarkable.”

———

ON THE WEB

Habitat for Humanity International : www.habitat.org

The minority population increased 2.3 percent to 104.6 million from mid-2007 to July 1, 2008, or just over one-third of the total population, the Census Bureau reported.

Hispanics had the highest growth rate – 3.2 percent – during the 12 months.

Although immigration has slowed, higher birth rates among Hispanics make them the fastest growing group. Births, rather than immigration, accounted for about two-thirds of the 1.47 million increase in the Hispanic population in 2008, according to Kenneth Johnson, demographer at the University of New Hampshire’s Carsey Institute. In addition, Hispanics are younger, on average, than the overall population. Births among Hispanics outpaced deaths by nearly 10 to one.

Forty-seven percent of children under 5 are minorities, as are 43 percent of young people under age 20.

“It’s a cumulative effect of immigration,” says Jeffrey Passel of the Pew Hispanic Center. “We’ve built up a population of Hispanics, and increasingly they’re native born.”

As the median age among non-Hispanic whites increases – it’s 41.1 compared with 27.7 for Hispanics – so will the racial and ethnic generation gap, demographers say.

“A lot of these Boomers are going to be relying on this younger generation to take care of them in a lot of ways,” says Mark Mather of the Population Reference Bureau. “In another generation, this is going to be our workforce that is supporting Social Security.”

Orange County, Fla., home of Walt Disney World, is one of six U.S. counties where the population became majority-minority in 2008: more than half the population are in groups other than non-Hispanic whites.

That’s “not a surprise” to Orange County Mayor Richard Crotty, who says the county has always been “a snapshot of what America looks like.” Nearly 10 percent of the nation’s 3,142 counties have a minority population above 50 percent.

The demographic shift is most dramatic among “kids under 20,” Mather says. “They really are the groups that are driving these changes.”

Contributing: Haya El Nasser, USA TODAY

By Paul Overberg, Martha T. Moore

With the help of a therapist from a state-funded program, Gabriel learned how to feed himself by holding a spoon in the crook of his arm. He also learned how to bend over and use his forehead to fasten the Velcro straps on his shoes and how to hold a pencil in his mouth to draw circles and lines.

But the programs that help 2,000 developmentally disabled children like Gabriel – and 2,000 mentally disabled adults – would be eliminated under cuts proposed by the Arizona Legislature to solve a $3 billion budget deficit.

Advocates for the developmentally disabled say that cutting early-intervention programs for children or vocational programs for disabled adults would be short-sighted and cost taxpayers millions more in the long run.

“Right now, I think with everything he’s learned, he’s perfect, he’s normal,” said Gabriel’s mother, Maria Palmerin.

She said she is inspired by her son to overcome obstacles in her own life.

“If he can do it, I can do it,” the west Phoenix mother said.

The proposed cuts affect about $41 million for state-funded disability programs and another $50 million to $60 million in state and federal money for long-term care for the more severely disabled.

For Gabriel, those cuts would be life-altering, said Tamara Gallinger, co-owner of Family Partners, a Peoria social-service agency that worked with him.

“He would be lying in a bed for the rest of his life, being cared for the rest of his life,” Gallinger said. “If we can reach a child between birth and 3 years old, they won’t need services. They’ll be able to walk, they’ll be able to talk.”

‘Millions of dollars’ saved

In Gabriel’s case, “we believe we saved the state millions of dollars” that otherwise would have been spent on his care over the course of his life, she said.

But state Rep. John Kavanagh, R-Fountain Hills, the chairman of the House Appropriations Committee, said the state can’t spend money it doesn’t have. Legislators have no choice but to cut virtually all aspects of state government, he said.

“We’re dealing with a $3 billion budget deficit, and it’s growing every day,” Kavanagh said. “It’s hard to give any group immunity when the state is in a total meltdown.”

Kavanagh said the cuts for disabled programs are among the lowest in the state budget.

According to the proposed House budget plan, the state Department of Economic Security’s share of state revenues is being cut 9.8 percent. But when federal revenue and other sources are factored in, the net impact of the cut is only 2.7 percent. That is below the 3.4 percent average for the seven largest general-fund agencies.

“We understand they are a vulnerable population,” Kavanagh said. “That’s why we’re trying to have a minimal impact on them. We tried to protect them as much as we could.”

This is the second year of cuts for state agencies.

Hit hardest by DES cut

One of the measures lawmakers took to balance a $600 million deficit in the 2009 budget was a 10 percent across-the-board cut for DES, which led to state-supported programs for the disabled taking a hit because most other programs are federally mandated.

The DES cuts were placed on hold after a legal challenge that resulted in a temporary injunction to keep the cuts from taking effect. The ruling, however, was overturned by the state Court of Appeals last week. Now disabled advocates are appealing to the state Supreme Court.

Lawmakers are struggling to balance a deficit that has ballooned to $3 billion for the 2010 fiscal year, which starts July 1.

Each evening, my 4-year-old daughter tells me, “I want lunch for dinner.” Translation: I want a grilled cheese or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. And, in my bloated, still working full-time, eight-month pregnant state, oftentimes that’s exactly what we have.

It doesn’t help that my sister-in-law is like the Terminator of menu planning and shopping. Each Friday she plans a menu for the following week and each Saturday morning at 7 a.m. she goes grocery shopping for that menu.

So while her kids are happily eating their vegetables each night at a civilized family table, I’m lucky if my kids aren’t camped out in front of the TV, eating whatever we could scrounge up in 15 minutes or less.

I figure there has to be an easier way and I know I need to find it quick because Baby No. 3 is set to debut in less than a month. It’s not like things are going to get easier. And I know if I plan my menus in advance, we can save money each week on our grocery bill.

To me, easier means something involving my computer and the Internet. So I went in search of software that would help me kill the proverbial two birds with one stone: plan a decent, easy-to-make menu while also preparing a shopping list for me.

I checked out all the usual suspects – CookingLight.com, MarthaStewart.com and BettyCrocker.com.

While each had really great recipes, none had that magic combination I needed – menu planning with a tailored, not generic, grocery list.

Though it’s not interactive, the Martha Stewart site comes pretty close. It offers specific menus along with corresponding “grocery bags.” The problem is Martha’s recipes aren’t generally what one would call “easy.” Plus, many of her recipes aren’t budget – or kid – friendly. While my husband will love tuna steaks, I’d still be making PB&J for my kids.

The Betty Crocker site has a cool feature that lets you input the ingredients you have on hand as well as what type of meal you’re trying to prepare. It will return several recipes that meet your criteria. The problem with this approach is that it doesn’t help you plan ahead and it assumes I would be able to get on the computer while two hungry children fight for space in my lap.

After striking out with the free online options, I checked out paid software options.

At $79.95, Dvo.com has exactly what I was looking for. As a bonus, you can purchase “plug-in” software, including Cook’n with Betty Crocker, to give you even more recipes to choose from. (You can also enter your own recipes.) It even has an on-board calculator to help you adjust for the number of people you’re serving as well as detailed nutritional information.

Menus4moms.com also has menu planning software and, at just $7.95 per month, it’s friendlier from a budget perspective. It has many of the same features as Cook’n, but the recipes are more limited.

Romi Carrell Wittman is a writer and the communication services director for Trico Electric Cooperative. E-mail: romi.wittman@comcast.net.

Rick McManus (right) holds his daughter, 10-month-old Jacqueline, as his husband, Michael McManus, speaks with their adopted son, 2, at their Charlton, Mass., home. Rick and Michael said that within Massachusetts being married as a same-sex couple has been a big plus, especially in dealing with state adoption officials. The McManus family chose not to provide their son's name.

WHITINSVILLE, Mass. – Twenty years after he met the love of his life, nearly five years after their wedding helped make history, it took a nasty bout of pneumonia for Gary Chalmers to fully appreciate the blessings of marriage.

“I was out of work for eight weeks, spent a week in the hospital,” Chalmers said. “That was the first time I really felt thankful for the sense of the security we had, with Rich there, talking with the physicians, helping make decisions. . . . It really made a difference.”

At stake was the most basic recognition of marital bonds – something most spouses take for granted. But until May 17, 2004, when Chalmers and Richard Linnell were among a surge of same-sex couples marrying in Massachusetts, it was legally unavailable to gays and lesbians in the United States.

Since that day, four other states – Connecticut in 2008, and Iowa, Vermont and Maine this year – have legalized same-sex marriage, and more may follow soon. A measure just approved by New Hampshire’s legislature awaits the governor’s decision on whether to sign. But Massachusetts was the first, providing a five-year record with which to gauge the consequences.

At the time of those first weddings, the debate was red-hot – protests were frequent, expectations ran high that legislators would allow a referendum on whether to overturn the court ruling ordering same-sex marriage. Now, although Roman Catholic leaders and some conservative activists remain vocally opposed, there is overwhelming political support for same-sex marriage and no prospect for a referendum.

According to the latest state figures, through September 2008, there had been 12,167 same-sex marriages in Massachusetts – 64 percent of them between women – out of 170,209 marriages in all. Some consequences have been tangible – a boom for gay-friendly wedding businesses, the exit of a Roman Catholic charity from the adoption business – and some almost defy description.

Mary Bonauto, lead lawyer in the landmark lawsuit, said, “I know people who’d been together 20 years who say, ‘Getting married – it knocked my socks off.’ ”

Partners since 1988

Chalmers and Linnell were among seven gay and lesbian couples recruited by Bonauto’s team to be plaintiffs in the lawsuit.

They had been partners since meeting in Worcester in 1988, and now live nearby in Linnell’s childhood house in Whitinsville with their 16-year-old daughter, Paige, whom they adopted as an infant.

The town of 6,300 is relatively far from cosmopolitan Boston and the gay vacation mecca of Provincetown, but the family feels thoroughly comfortable.

Paige is helping form a gay-straight alliance at her high school. When her fathers got married, she said, “all my friends were saying they wanted to come to the wedding.”

Chalmers, an elementary school curriculum coordinator, and Linnell, a nurse manager at a medical center, say they didn’t need the wedding to prove their commitment, but they appreciate the added legal stability and the recognition they get from others.

“Before, we had wills, we had power of attorney,” Chalmers said. “But the fact of the matter was, you can’t make up for the thousand or so rights that are given to married couples.”

Another plus: Explanations about family ties are easier now that “husband” is an option.

“More than once,” Chalmers recalled, “I was introducing Rich and said, ‘This is my partner’ and they’d say, ‘Oh, what kind of company do you own? What business are you in?’ ”

Two moms, two sons

Another of the lawsuit couples – Gina and Heidi Nortonsmith – live in the college town of Northampton in western Massachusetts with their two sons – Quinn, 9, and Avery 12. Like their fellow plaintiffs, they married as soon as legally possible, on May 17, 2004.

Heidi runs an emergency food pantry; Gina is an elementary school classroom aide. Heidi gave birth to both sons, who are biracial, and the family name merges the moms’ maiden names.

“When we were getting ready to have the kids, we wanted to cross all our T’s and dot all our I’s, feeling there were so many protections for heterosexual married families that just weren’t available to us,” Heidi said.

“When marriage finally happened, there was that emotional sigh of relief – just knowing there would be a legal framework, and a court of law would understand our family.”

Heidi and Gina bridle at the contention of some gay-marriage opponents that children such as theirs will suffer from not being raised by both a mother and father.

“We have really great kids,” says Gina. “It’s been fun to have people see who we are.”

Opposition fading

One of the striking developments, since 2004, is the fading of opposition to gay marriage among elected officials in Massachusetts.

When the state’s Supreme Judicial Court ruled in 2003 that banning same-sex marriage was unconstitutional, there seemed to be sufficient support in the Legislature for a ballot measure that would overturn the decision. But a gay-marriage supporter, Deval Patrick, was elected governor; and in 2007 lawmakers rejected, 151-45, a push for a referendum.

The view now contrasts with 2003-04, when the debate was wrenching for legislators such as Sen. Marian Walsh. Her district, including parts of Boston and some close-in suburbs, is heavily Catholic and socially conservative. Many supported overturning the high court’s ruling.

“I had hundreds of requests to meet with people on both sides,” Walsh said. “Everyone wanted to know how was I going to vote.”

She read up on the law, wrestled with her conscience, and finally decided the court was correct – and there should be no referendum.

“I came to the decision that it really is a civil right – that the constitution was there to protect rights, not to diminish rights,” she said.

The reaction? Embittered constituents, hate mail and death threats, rebukes from Catholic clergy, she said. But she won re-election in 2004 and again in 2006.

Unions unrecognized

Neither the federal government nor the vast majority of other states recognize Massachusetts’ same-sex unions. Partly as a backlash to Massachusetts, 26 states have passed constitutional amendments since May 2004 explicitly limiting marriage to male/female unions.

Even the 2010 census, under the Defense of Marriage Act, likely won’t record legally wed couples in Massachusetts and elsewhere as married.

Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders, the Boston legal firm which won the same-sex marriage case, filed a new lawsuit in March challenging the portion of the act that bars the federal government from recognizing same-sex marriages. But for now, non-recognition can be stinging.

After Michael and Rick McManus of Charlton married in 2006, they honeymooned in Panama, and on return to the United States were told at the immigration booth that they had to go through separately because U.S. law didn’t consider them married.

Michael and Rick have subsequently adopted a son, who turned 2 on May 7, and a daughter, almost 1. They plan to limit international travel until the federal policy changes.

“I don’t want our kids to be coming through customs and having to explain that their dads aren’t married there,” Michael said.

They are frustrated at having to file two sets of tax returns – as a married couple in Massachusetts and as single men for the Internal Revenue Service. And they were dismayed when Arkansas voters last fall approved a ballot measure that bans gay couples from adopting.

“There’s a sense of security for our family here,” Michael said. “But when we leave this state, it’s a very different world.”

Is the sky falling?

“Holy cow, the sky hasn’t fallen.”

That assessment of five years of same-sex marriage came from Jennifer Chrisler, who advocates for gay and lesbian parents as head of the Boston-based Family Equality Council. But that message can be grating for those with opposing views.

“We absolutely believe the sky is falling,” said Kris Mineau, president of the Massachusetts Family Institute. “But we believe it would be a generational downfall, not an overnight downfall.”

Mineau and his allies say their primary concern is the welfare of children raised by same-sex couples – even though establishment groups such as the American Academy of Pediatrics say such children fare just as well as those with heterosexual parents,

“No matter how loving and how caring two women are, there’s no way they can replace the role of the father,” Mineau said.

Mineau also said religious liberty is at risk in Massachusetts, and cited the example of Catholic Charities of Boston, which stopped providing adoption services in 2006 because state law required it to consider same-sex parents when looking for adoptive homes.

Public schools are another venue in the dispute over gay marriage.

David Parker of Lexington objected when his youngest son brought home a book from kindergarten that depicted a gay family. He was later arrested for refusing to leave the school after officials wouldn’t agree to notify him when homosexuality was discussed in his son’s class.

Parker filed an unsuccessful lawsuit contending that school administrators violated a state law requiring that parents get a chance to exempt their children from sex-education curriculum. School officials said the books didn’t focus on sex education, and merely depicted various families.

“Parental rights lost out in a big way – the right of parents to oversee the moral upbringing of their own children,” said Parker. He and his wife, Tonia, now homeschool their two sons.

Opposition to same-sex marriage remains strong in the Roman Catholic hierarchy. Disappointment in the legislature for blocking a referendum is still deep.

“Why was it squelched?” asked Bishop Robert McManus of Worcester. He complained that “a well-heeled, organized political action group” got more attention from legislators than average people.

He added: “The proponents of same-sex marriage argue that if you’re opposed, you are exercising bigotry. No one who’s proud of being an American wants to be accused of being a bigot, so some people retreat into a live-and-let-live situation.”

McManus insists the church’s views, over time, can still prevail.

Bonauto, the lead lawyer in the lawsuit, sees a different outcome as more states consider same-sex marriage or extend other recognition to gay couples.

The Massachusetts ruling “was a game changer,” she said. “Even our opponents know it’s only matter of time before there’s marriage equality nationwide.”

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GAY MARRIAGE:

KEY DATES

Some important dates relating to gay marriage in Massachusetts and nationally:

July 1, 2000 – Acting under a state Supreme Court order, Vermont becomes the first state with civil unions that provide same-sex couples with the same legal rights and responsibilities as marriage.

April 11, 2001 – Seven same-sex couples in Massachusetts, denied marriage licenses, sue in Superior Court in Boston to challenge the state’s gay marriage ban.

Nov. 18, 2003 – Massachusetts’ Supreme Judicial Court rules it is unconstitutional to bar gay couples from marriage.

May 17, 2004 – Marriages of gay couples begin in Massachusetts.

June 14, 2007 – Massachusetts lawmakers vote to block a proposed referendum seeking to ban same-sex marriage.

July 31, 2008 – Massachusetts repeals a 1913 law that barred most of-of-state same-sex couples from marrying in the state.

Oct. 10, 2008 – The Connecticut Supreme Court strikes down the state’s ban on same-sex marriage.

Nov. 4, 2008 – California voters pass Proposition 8, a ballot measure overturning a state Supreme Court decision that had legalized same-sex marriage earlier in the year. The issue remains in legal limbo.

April 3, 2009 – The Iowa Supreme Court orders the legalization of same-sex marriage.

April 7, 2009 – Overriding the governor’s veto, lawmakers in Vermont make their state the first to legalize same-sex marriage by a legislative vote.

May 6, 2009 – Maine’s governor signs a gay marriage bill passed by legislators. Opponents immediately file papers seeking a repeal referendum.

She scanned the faces in the circle of mothers, each of whom was sharing the story of how her son was slain. Martin’s eyes settled on the tear-stained face of Victoria Garcia, whose grief was only 4 months old.

It had been more than 11 years since Martin’s own son was shot and killed, but the rawness of Garcia’s feelings was harrowing.

“Hearing her talk, I was reliving David’s death like it had just happened to me again,” Martin would later explain. “The pain you experience from an act of violence robs you of so much. For the parent of a child who’s murdered, your sorrow can surprise you, whether it’s been days since they died or years.”

Martin, 62, was one of six mothers who gathered last weekend for a three-day retreat in Pine, about 100 miles north of Phoenix. They came to find solace, guidance and hope. Like Martin, some members of this fated sorority came to find a new focus in their life. Others, like Garcia whose loss was so new, just wanted to know if their lives could ever be made whole. Some brought family members for emotional support during the weekend.

If the mothers were seeking a place of understanding, it would be here, in the mountain home of Roger and Carol Fornoff.

Twenty-five years ago this Saturday, the Mesa couple’s daughter was kidnapped, raped and smothered. The brutal death of 13-year-old Christy Ann Fornoff rocked the Phoenix area.

In the wake of her death, the Fornoffs have turned to help others like them, sharing a cabin that serves as a retreat.

On this weekend, the Fornoffs welcomed the women, members of the metro Phoenix chapter of Parents of Murdered Children, an advocacy and education organization. While the couple manned the kitchen, keeping meals and snacks at the ready, Beckie Miller led the retreat. Miller’s world was shattered in 1991, when her 18-year-old son, Brian, was shot by a gang suspect who was arrested and served seven years.

“I remember thinking, ‘I can’t live,’ ” Miller, 54, told the women as they began their sessions. “My son had such promise and was looking forward to a good life. I couldn’t believe he was gone.”

The six mothers, too, had lost sons. Four died of gunshot wounds. One was stabbed, the other bludgeoned.

“No matter how they died, it was senseless,” Miller said softly.

She took out a candle and asked each woman to light it and talk about the death.

Garcia began to speak, barely above a whisper. She held tightly to the candle as she lit a match in her son’s honor. Victor, 24, had been riding in a car in Phoenix with his cousins on Jan. 8, when an altercation erupted with someone passing by. Garcia was fatally struck by a bullet near his heart.

“I don’t understand what to do now that he’s gone,” said Garcia, 54, her voice choking. “We always had had each other. I should have been there for him, and I wasn’t.”

As they headed for bed that night, the women were physically and mentally exhausted.

“But it was good to just get to talk, knowing there were people who have been through the same thing,” said Amy Shaw, who lost her 17-year-old son, Ronnie, on Jan. 12, 2008.

It would be the next day when Shaw, 36, disclosed her rage, not only over the stabbing of her son but against herself. She can’t get out of her mind the image of her son, bloody from three stab wounds, her hand gripping his as he died.

“I’ve been so mean to other people, trying to deal with this,” she said. “And that’s not me. I want to scream, and I feel so out of control. This can’t go on. My pills to help me sleep don’t work anymore. I just have this anger that won’t go away.”

It’s not unusual, Miller said, for life to unravel.

“Your world is nothing like it ever was,” she said. “You lose friends, relationships, your health. You sleep too little, you sleep too much.”

The women said they were tired of people telling them that their time for grieving was up, that they should move on for their own well-being.

That kind of advice can be hurtful, said Dominique Roe-Sepowitz, assistant director of the Office of Forensic Social Work at Arizona State University.

“Research shows it’s hard to compare the parents of murdered children with any other grief group,” she said. “These are people who must contend with the horror of violence (plus) the death of a child.”

The sudden absence of a loved one is something the Fornoffs know all too well.

The early evening that Christy Ann disappeared, she had been on her paper route, collecting from her subscribers for The Phoenix Gazette, once The Republic’s sister paper. Two days later, her body was found near a trash can at the Rock Point Apartments in Tempe. Donald Beaty, a maintenance man at the complex, was convicted of her sexual assault and murder and is on death row in Florence.

Carol Fornoff, 69, said she could have become mired in her grief. Instead, she started support groups and spearheaded a movement that led to the 1990 passage of Arizona’s Victims’ Bill of Rights, a measure designed to balance the rights of victims with the constitutional rights of the accused.

A $1.5 million settlement against the apartments where Beaty worked helped the Fornoffs buy the cabin in Pine. Outside, it reads, “Christy House in the Pines.” So far, more than 2,200 people have stayed at the cabin while attending one of the retreats the couple have hosted. For their home to become a haven was the dream for the religious couple. When they bought the cabin 15 years ago, splitting their time between Pine and Mesa, they pegged their recovery on helping others.

“We certainly don’t think of her 24 hours a day, but there’s times when it all hits us again,” Fornoff said. “We understand what other parents go through. When you remember the life of a child, that can make every parent feel good.”