Freelance

JOYESHA CHESNICK

For the Tucson Citizen

Bill Valenzuela has laid off about a third of his employees over the past year.

Valenzuela is the owner of WG Valenzuela Drywall Inc., a stalwart of Tucson’s construction industry founded in 1979. He said he saw trouble coming, and had been planning for it.

“We didn’t know the housing industry was going to hit us with a loan problem, but we knew things were getting overbuilt and construction was going to slow down,” he said. “We had 16 fabulous years and we were able to stash over $2 million for a rainy day.”

But the job cuts were still needed.

“We usually have between 340 and 360 employees, and in 2006 we did $26 million in sales,” Valenzuela said.

“But in 2007 we did $15 million. And we laid off 240 employees.”

Arizona’s overall unemployment rate held steady – and below the national level – as 2008 began, but not in the construction industry.

From December to January, the construction sector statewide lost 5,300 jobs, a 5.3 percent drop, continuing a five-month trend, according to the latest employment report from the Arizona Department of Commerce. The sector lost just over 20 percent of its work force in 2007.

Pima County lost 1,000 construction jobs from December to January and has lost 2,500 since last June. The Commerce Department projects 2,200 construction jobs will be lost in Pima County in 2008 and 500 more in 2009, before things start looking up.

Valenzuela Drywall, which specializes in residential projects, has had to lower its prices, even as costs for fuel and materials keep climbing, because customers don’t have as much money and can’t afford to pay as much. Valenzuela said he has been able to stay afloat by expanding into commercial construction.

Commercial builders are not hurting as much as residential builders, said David Pittman, director of the Arizona Builders’ Alliance. The alliance represents 170 commercial construction companies in southern Arizona, including general contractors, subcontractors and service organizations.

“All of our guys are busy, let’s put it that way,” Pittman said. “We’re holding steady and I haven’t heard of anybody laying people off. If anything, the commercial builders have hired people that have been laid off on the residential side.”

Residential construction grew so fast for so long, especially in areas such as Vail and Sahuarita, that commercial construction has lagged behind. And government-funded construction of necessities such as fire stations and schools is still needed.

“There was so much home construction, commercial couldn’t keep up,” Pittman said. “This slowdown allowed us to catch up and draw even.”

Darrel Estabrook, co-owner of Architectural Stairs and Products Ltd., finds himself far busier than he was before the housing slump, but he’s not necessarily happy about it.

“I’m working harder because my help is gone,” Estabrook said.

The company is down to six employees, from 10, and is getting work, but in custom homes rather than tract homes. Estabrook said skilled labor is hard to come by.

“You can’t just hire a guy and say, ‘Go over there and build this spiral staircase.’ It’s the repetitive stuff that really trains my guys to be good carpenters,” he said. “I feel like we are back where we started.”

The stair-building firm has also branched out, taking on floor installations and commercial jobs to fill the holes left by dwindling residential construction.

Although he has less time for his teenage sons and less time and money to take spontaneous trips with his wife, Sue, who is a travel agent, Estabrook is still optimistic.

“I think things will get better,” he said. “I’d sure like to see it.”

Pittman also has hopes – that the residential sector will rebound and that the commercial side won’t see a downturn.

“Much of the financing for much of commercial was done some time ago, so there may be a lag,” he said. “But we cross our fingers. There’s an old saying: Commercial construction follows the rooftops.”

Valenzuela said he has been able to start hiring back workers, thanks to commercial projects, but he warns them that they should stay in other jobs if they think they have a future there. He believes even the commercial side has peaked.

And letting go of workers is painful emotionally.

“I’ve gone through about three recessions, and my people never realized it because we plan ahead. We don’t try to break even, we just try to make sure we survive,” he said.

This time is different, and the consequences extend beyond the company. Valenzuela said his wife gives around $25,000 every year to small charities, and his company donates between $40,000 and $60,000. That’s no longer possible.

“I wish there was somebody out there with a magic wand to tell us what to do next,” he said.

David Drennon, spokesman for the state Department of Commerce, is optimistic.

“We may be slow, but in reality the state is still growing,” he said. “We need to find a solution to help keep those jobs in the state.”

Drennon pointed to a proposed $1.4 billion economic stimulus package involving construction at the University of Arizona, Arizona State University and Northern Arizona University.

“Economic development groups are passing resolutions to get the universities to move forward with infrastructure projects they have already planned,” he said. “The expectation is it would help create new jobs.”

Projections show the Stimulus Plan for Economic and Education Development has the potential for 30,000 jobs, he added.

Tucson Regional Economic Opportunities Inc. endorsed the resolution, which is being drafted, on March 21, said spokeswoman Laura Shaw.

Shaw said the plan has been reviewed in legislative committees, and is expected to be decided on at the state Capitol next month.

“This addresses both problems with one solution,” she said. “We’re also, however, focused on diversifying our economy. Because economies in general, when they rely on just a few industries, in the long term it’s not healthy.”

At age 75, Valenzuela said he could retire any time he wants. His kids are in the business and taking over.

Valenzuela recently had three employees attend a trade show in Las Vegas to look for better ways of doing things.

“We’re very worried, but I try to tell my kids not to let worry get them into a problem,” he said. “You’ve got to keep planning for tomorrow and the following day.”

UNIVERSITIES’ STIMULUS PLAN: KEY FACTS

NEED

By 2020, Arizona will require 30,000 college graduates a year, as an estimated 260,000 new jobs in Arizona will demand a degree in higher education, and about 167,000 jobs will be lost to retirement.

WHAT UA WOULD GET

• Groundbreaking on $90 million environment and natural science building.

• $12 million renovation of Centennial Hall. (Private donors would provide some of the money.)

• New $44 million building for the College of Social and Behavioral Sciences.

• New $70 million engineering research building.

ARIZONA ECONOMIC IMPACT

• Creation of 14,000 construction jobs and another 16,000 jobs indirectly.

• $1.9 billion will be added to the state’s Gross Domestic Product.

• $1.4 billion would added to to Arizonans’ household income.

• $140 million would be generated in state and local tax revenue.

• Nearly $327 million would be released into the southern Arizona construction economy over three years.

Source: University of Arizona

RESIDENTIAL BUILDING PERMITS

Building permits for single-family residences issued in the Tucson area in the first quarter:

2006: 2,369

2007: 1,347

2008: 775

Source: The Southern Arizona Housing Market Letter and SAHBA

Freelance
Cover story

JOYESHA CHESNICK

familyplus@tucsoncitizen.com

Finding it difficult to work around your children’s schedule?

Feeling like you don’t spend enough time with the kids because of work obligations? Are you running through your days – and your nights – trying to fit it all in?

Give yourself a gift this Mother’s Day: A break.

“There’s no such thing as a Supermom,” said Kim Metz, director of The Parent Connection, a member of Arizona’s Children Association, which offers classes, playgroups and services.

“We need to be kind to ourselves,” Metz said. “We need to know what we can do and what is important for us to do.”

Almost every parent who comes to the Parent Connection, 5326 E. Pima St. – and especially those juggling work and family – wants to know how to “do it all,” she said. The key is to forgive yourself for not doing everything you read in a book. Instead, decide what’s best for your family and set priorities.

“Balance is something I swing past,” says Kaira Sturdivant Rouda, a mother of four in Columbus, Ohio, and author of “Real You Incorporated: 8 Essential for Women Entrepreneurs.”

“There’s no way everything is always going to be in perfect harmony,” she said. “The balance we women have to allow ourselves is to tell ourselves we’re doing the best we can and not compare ourselves to other women.”

There are choices women can make to help ease the stress of juggling work and home, she said. “If you know who you are and what you want, you should pick to be in an environment or with a company that fits your vision.”

That’s what Nicole Garfield, 30, has done. Garfield, a sales director with Mary Kay Cosmetics, said she chose a company that shares her philosophy of “God first, family second and career third.”

“I ask myself, ‘Is what I’m about to do taking me closer to my God, my family, my goal?’ And if the answer is no, I don’t do it.”

With three children – Danielle Garfield, her 16-year-old stepdaughter, Isaiah Knight, 9, and Lindsey Garfield, 2 – Garfield said making choices often means saying “no.”

“We don’t have a lot of extracurricular activities. We make family time a priority,” she said.

When you take on too much, you miss out on the most important thing – just being together, Metz agreed.

Cheryl Biagini’s mother quit her job to devote time to her children.

“That’s always in the back of my head,” said Biagini, 31, an electrical engineer with Raytheon and mother of 6-month-old Kayla Biagini. “But I can work part time and still have an exciting career.”

She’s also got the help of a supportive spouse and, as important, company policy. When Biagini was working on a project at a local resort, Raytheon paid for a hotel room to use for expressing and storing breast milk.

“This way I don’t feel resentful,” Biagini said of balancing work and family. “I’m not missing out on anything. I can still do things that are fun for me and come home and be a really good mom.”

Dr. Lili Jordan felt the same way when she returned full time as an obstetrician/gynecologist after maternity leave with her son, Thomas Vamos.

“It was a little bit different and stressful, thinking I’m leaving the baby,” said Jordan, 37. “When I went back . . . I got back into the swing of things, and in a way it was almost nice to be back at work.”

Jordan learned to ask for help from her husband and other family.

“My career is an important part of my life,” she said, “though now I have this new important part of my life.”

The following did not appear in print:

Finding a work-life balance

For tips for moms on reducing stress, find this story at www.tucsoncitizen.com/family.

Tips from Kim Metz, director of The Parent Connection, and Kaira Sturdivant Rouda, author of “Real You Incorporated: 8 Essential for Women Entrepreneurs”:

• Recognize when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Irritability is the No. 1 sign, and feeling defensive or like you’re a victim, Metz said. Withdrawing, receding and not sleeping are symptoms of being overwhelmed.

• Stop and assess. Figure out what your goal is and what you need to do to get there, Metz suggested.

Trust your gut instinct, Rouda added. If something isn’t working – a problem with a caregiver or the people you work with – make a change.

• Take care of yourself. If mom isn’t happy, nobody is happy, Rouda said. If you can’t be there yourself, you can’t be there for anybody else.

Take time for yourself, even if it’s just taking a bath or reading a book, Metz said.

• Don’t go it alone. Reach out to others and tell your story, Rouda said. Don’t be an island and don’t try to be that Superwoman. It’s isolating.

If you are co-parenting, Metz added, try to be on the same page.

Freelance

JOYESHA CHESNICK

For the Tucson Citizen

News breaks that the CEO of a multinational company is embezzling funds. The media are in a frenzy. The public is outraged. A commission is formed to study the crime.

“The commission says, ‘We’re shocked!’ Then we return to business as usual. We assume it’s just a case of bad apples,” said Neil Vance, head of a new ethics program – with a component for community members – at the University of Arizona’s Eller College of Management.

Vance believes there’s more to it.

“It’s traditional to assume in ethics that the remedy has to do with how you address people individually,” he said. “My courses reflect that approach, but I also add and have equal consideration to what we can do in the organization that would facilitate more ethical conduct and prevent inappropriate activity.

“It has to do with leadership, but equally important is the membership – what we can do with organizational structure and what we can do culturewide.”

This year, with funding from Australian entrepreneur Raymond Spencer, Vance started teaching two new courses that comprise The Raymond Spencer Program in Applied Ethics in the School of Public Administration and Policy. The program complements the college’s existing undergraduate Honors and Ethics Program, which focuses on individual ethics.

But more importantly for the community, it also will host speakers – starting off with Arizona State University Professor James Svara, who was to address an invited audience Wednesday and offer training modules for public and nonprofit organizations.

Vance is teaching the two courses, one a requirement for undergraduates in the public administration program and the other a graduate-level elective.

“His emphasis focusing on structure and organization rather than the individual – it’s a really different approach. We’re used to looking at the individual and their unethical character,” said Tanya Rice, 22, who is working on a master’s degree in accounting. “At first I didn’t agree, but now I can see how an organization can foster (unethical behavior.)”

Rice said the course enables students to relate discussions to the “real world.”

“In the accounting field, name is all you have,” she said. “The things we talk about, it’ll help you to match your integrity with the organization you’re looking at.”

Vance said he’s not training his students to be ethical, but rather, hoping to raise the level of consciousness about the issue.

“So when they confront an ethical problem in the workplace – and they will – they will have done some groundwork on how they will respond,” he said.

For more information on the programs, e-mail Vance at nvance@eller.arizona.edu or call 621-7965.

ORGANIZATIONAL ETHICS

• Situation: Enron Corp., once the world’s dominant energy trader, was using Arthur Anderson, one of the top five accounting firms, as both consultant and accountant.

Arthur Anderson was earning so much on the consulting side, it “pulled punches” on the accounting side, a conflict of interest that emerged when Enron declared bankruptcy in 2001, fueling a scandal that resulted in fraud convictions for the company’s top executives.

• Vance’s response: The Enron scandal was a classic example of structural weakness. You have to have a different consultant than your accounting firm.

• Situation: In the nonprofit world, CEOs busy trying to raise funds often create a stamp that a trusted subordinate can use to send checks out under the CEO’s signature. It saves time, but makes embezzlement easy.

• Vance’s response: It’s simple – require two signatures on each check. It’s a common sense, structural remedy.

Freelance
Cover story

JOYESHA CHESNICK

familyplus@tucsoncitizen.com

Seven tweeners sat around a table one sunny afternoon, when many kids would have been out playing.

They munched pizza, drank Sunny D and talked – not about who likes whom or the hottest new band, but about respecting others, Mahatma Gandhi and narrator’s voice.

Not your typical prepubescent conversation. But this was a gathering of the Dragonfly Book Club, a group of 8- to 12-year-olds that meets the third Wednesday of each month at Pima County Library’s Himmel Park Branch, 1035 N. Treat Ave.

The book is “No Talking,” by Andrew Clements, about a chatterbox named Dave who, inspired by Gandhi’s practice of staying silent one day a week to bring order to his mind, challenges his classmates to a 48-hour no-talking contest.

“I would be so annoyed, I wouldn’t be able to think,” said Julia Nichols, 10, a fourth-grader at Tully Elementary, in answering a question about how it would feel to go a day without talking.

“It would help me learn, because I don’t listen a lot to what other people are saying; so it might help me concentrate,” added Cathy Weibel, also 10 and a fourth-grader at Khalsa Montessori. “But if I tried really hard, I bet I could do it.”

Then, Beth Rubio, the children’s librarian at Himmel, issued her own challenge: for each kid to go a day without talking.

“You can write notes (to communicate),” she said. “And you may want to take notes. See if you do start thinking about other things or can pay attention to other people.”

Book clubs, it seems, are not just for adults anymore. The Internet abounds with ideas for starting clubs for kids. Oprah Winfrey has come up with a kids reading list, and there’s even a book out – “The Kids’ Book Club Book,” filled with reading suggestions, recipes and activities.

Rubio started the Himmel club almost three years ago in response to requests from parents, many of whom were home schooling children. The goal was to instill a passion for reading and books.

“Originally, the parents did stay, but I set the ground rules in the beginning,” she said. “This is a kids book club and the parents could stay, but unless they were asked a question, they could not contribute.”

Every meeting starts the same way: kids make and decorate nametags, then each one says three things about himself or herself, two of them true and one false. The group guesses which is false.

“I have three sisters. I have a dog. And my dad has 47 cousins,” said Patrick Kerwin, 8. Turns out he only has one sister, 11-year-old Ruby Kerwin, sitting next to him.

Before starting the discussion, everyone gets a snack, usually a food that appears in the book. Pizza was on the school lunch menu on the day of silence in “No Talking.”

Rubio leads with questions about themes, characters or writing techniques. Each child rates the book, on an ascending scale of 1-5.

“I loved how the writer can express the character’s feelings, and how the story was, the plot,” said budding writer Alexandra Kernek, 12, who gave it a 4 1/2.

Kate Maxwell, an 8-year-old from Wrightstown Elementary, gave it a 5. “I don’t know why, but I like it a lot.”

Parents say the club gives kids more than just a love of reading.

“She’s a reader. She doesn’t need to come here to be encouraged to read,” said Heather Reed, Julia’s mother. “Part of it is they see how their peers are reacting.”

Veronica Barajas likes that her daughter, Alex Kernek, can hear other people’s opinions and express her own. “She has become a more critical reader and more critical about music,” Barajas said. “And there’s no pressure of getting grades. She can be herself.”

The children finish up their hour, turning in their copies of “No Talking” and chat as they stop by the table where Rubio has laid out copies of next month’s reading: “The Higher Power of Lucky.”

START YOUR OWN BOOK CLUB

Beth Rubio, children’s librarian at Himmel Park Library, offers tips for starting a book club for children:

• Make sure each child has access to a copy of the book.

• Be in the loop as far as choosing what to read. Kids need direction and choices, but it’s important that they take part in the selection. And they are interested in things going on today. Book awards, such as the Newbery and Caldecott medals, are excellent resources for finding books that have meat in them. Kids want “Nancy Drew,” which are fun, but not very good for discussion because they’re formulaic.

• Keep in mind that boys like adventures and mysteries but often won’t read books they think are for girls.

• Have a comfortable meeting place. If you have food, they’ll come. Try to find food that’s in the book.

Oprah’s favorite books for kids

Oprah Winfrey’s Book Club’s Kids Reading List, for ages 9-12, includes:

1. “Because of Winn Dixie” by Kate DiCamillo

2. “A Wrinkle in Time” by Madeleine L’Engle

3. “The Giver” by Lois Lowry

4. “Shiloh” by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor

5. “Holes” by Louis Sachar

6. “Kit’s Wilderness” by David Almond

7. “Ramona Quimby, Age 8″ by Beverly Cleary

8. “James and the Giant Peach” by Roald Dahl

9. “Matilda” by Roald Dahl

10. “Ben and Me: An Astonishing Life of Benjamin Franklin by His Good Mouse Amous” by Robert Lawson

11. “Charlotte’s Web” by E.B. White

12. “Bud, Not Buddy” by Christopher Paul Curtis

Source: www.oprah.com

Pima County Public Library has several book clubs for kids. All are free and open to the public. Call to register or for more information.

Clubs for kids ages 6-8

• Oro Valley Kids Explore nonfiction book club for emerging readers meets the third Wednesday of the month, 4-5 p.m., 1305 W Naranja Drive, 229-5300

• Oro Valley Crafty Readers meets the first Thursday of the month, 4-5 p.m.

Clubs for kids ages 8-12

• Martha Cooper Kids Book Response Unit meets the fourth Saturday of the month, 2-3 p.m., 1377 N. Catalina Ave., 791-3257

• Oro Valley Library Reading Cafe meets the fourth Tuesday of the month, 4-5 p.m., 1305 W Naranja Drive, 229-5300

• Joel D. Valdez Main Kids Book Club meets the last Wednesday of the month, 4-5 p.m., 101 N. Stone Ave., 791-4393

• Quincie Douglas Blurple Cheetah Cubs Book Club meets the third Saturday of the month, 2-3:30 p.m., 1585 E. 36th St., 791-5214

• Miller-Golf Links Book Club @ Miller-Golf Links Library meets the first Friday of the month, 3:30- 4:30 p.m., 9640 E. Golf Links Road, 791-5524

• Himmel Park Dragonfly Book Club meets the third Wednesday of the month, 3-4 p.m., 1035 N. Treat Ave., 791-4397

• Nanini Book Nook, second Thursday of the month, 4-5 p.m., 7300 N. Shannon Road, 791-4626

Teen Book Clubs

• Oro Valley TeenZone Book Club normally meets the last Saturday of the month, 3-4 p.m., 1305 W. Naranja Drive, 229-5300

• Nanini Teen Book Gathering meets the first Monday of the month, 4-5 p.m., 7300 N. Shannon Road, 791-4626

Barnes & Noble Booksellers has a new board on its Web site, www.barnesandnoble.com, called Teen Reads, a place for kids 13 and older to chat about great novels for young adults. Check it out under the site’s Book Clubs section.

Freelance
Taking control of birthdays

JOYESHA CHESNICK

familyplus@tucsoncitizen.com

Whatever happened to cake and Pin the Tail on the Donkey?

Kids used to mark birthdays by inviting a few friends over for snacks and games. But in this age of MTV’s “My Super Sweet Sixteen,” a reality series capturing the outrageous antics of upper-class teenagers as they plan for their “party to end all parties,” jumping castles, outings to theme parks, spa days and themed bashes seem standard fare.

“We do several birthdays a week,” said Kelly Alderete, owner of Xtreme Limousine, who said the starting price for a couple of hours in a limo is $250. “We go around Tucson, stop and get ice cream or something to eat. Or we drive them to the birthday party or back home.”

Many a birthday boy or girl continue on to a restaurant, a night at a resort or a day at Bedroxx or Golf n’ Stuff, Alderete said.

Emmy Smith, owner of Beyond Parties, hosted four specialty theme parties – including one for her own kid – in one weekend. That Friday, she had a Mermaid Party ($285 for eight kids) at her newly opened store in Trail Dust Town; Saturday saw a Halloween bash at a home ($285 for eight – and the client requested 75 invitations.) A Diva/Rock Star Party ($285 for eight) and a Beyond Fear Party ($340 for eight) were held at the store Sunday.

“People are really busy. This is a great way to have a party and not have to do anything,” Smith said. “This is a great way for parents to have creative fun with kids and create memories that they would have forever.”

Convenience aside, letting someone else do the work makes financial sense, said Danielle McCall, who hired Smith to do a Diva Party for her 7-year-old daughter in August and a Beyond Fear (think “Fear Factor”) Party for her son’s ninth birthday early in October.

“I was spending $500 on a pizza party,” she said. “This way, it was $300, and they clean up the mess.”

But some worry that expensive, adult-driven parties rob kids of control over a party and the fun of playing freely.

“They’re scheduled; the activities are decided upon ahead of time. So it’s not unlike what we’re doing in other aspects of our kids’ lives: overstructuring,” said Wendy Gamble, associate professor at the University of Arizona’s Norton School of Family and Consumer Sciences. “I’ve seen kids get so worked up they’re not enjoying themselves. Or they’re just distressed by it.”

At parties, the birthday child needs to be the center of attention and feel special, she said. “It’s possible the limo becomes the center of attention. Or the gigantic jumping castle.”

And how can parents keep up the pace?

Parents feel the need to buy stuff sometimes because they don’t have time to spend planning a party, Gamble said. And marketers convince parents they have to keep up with their peers.

“Unfortunately, it’s trickled down to our children,” she said.

McCall agreed that competition to outdo the last bash can spiral out of control.

Last year, she treated her daughter and about half a dozen of her friends to a spa-type day at Libby Lu. “Then one of her friends had a birthday about three months later, but they got picked up in a limo, went to Libby Lu and then ate at Wildflower,” she said.

McCall refuses to get into a competition. “No more trying to one-up myself,” she said.

And while the typical Tucson birthday party can cost several hundred dollars, party planners aren’t seeing galas like the ones on MTV.

“People here are spending a lot more money, but they’re extravagant on more important milestone events like bar mitzvahs and graduations,” said Nicole Dillon, president and owner of Holly Golightly Events.

But she sees change coming. “The more that our society looks to TV, celebrities and more extravagant types, people want to have more of that in their own lives,” she said. “I think, unfortunately, it will start to be like that because lots of kids are watching TV and thinking that’s OK.”

BIRTHDAYS WITHOUT PRESSURE

A group of parents and professionals in St. Paul, Minn., put together Birthdays Without Pressure to start a national conversation about the escalating costs and deteriorating attitudes marking many of today’s birthday parties.

On its Web site, it shares real-life examples of birthdays gone out of control – like the party invitation requesting gifts worth at least $35 because, the mom explains, the $10 gifts the child received the previous year didn’t cover the cost of the party.

Kids are now celebrating half birthdays and registering birthday wish lists on Amazon.com, the group complains.

It outlines ideas for parents for simple party games, birthday rituals and gift giving. Here’s a sampling:

• In lieu of a gift, ask guests to bring a book to donate to the library or exchange with other guests.

• Invite kids to play outside with bubbles, sidewalk chalk and inflatable beach balls.

• Wake up the birthday child with the whole family singing “Happy Birthday.”

Freelance

JOYESHA CHESNICK

For the Tucson Citizen

As a child, Autumn Ruhe loved to listen to her grandfather tell stories about Mildred and Dildred, two little girls (Ruhe and her sister in the real world) who always got into some ridiculous trouble only to be saved by their brave old granddad.

At 24, Ruhe has those stories to thank as the inspiration for her new toy store, Mildred & Dildred.

She is opening in La Encantada, 2905 E. Skyline Drive, on Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving, and one of the biggest shopping days of the year.

Opening a higher-end toy store is a big move, given the fickle economy.

“It’s a little scary,” said Ruhe, who thought she wanted to be a teacher until she realized she likes “being a playmate more than being a disciplinarian.”

However, she added, “I don’t have children or a mortgage. If I’m going to take a big risk, now’s the time to do it.”

And kids always want toys, she said. Besides that, there’s nothing else like it in the upscale foothills. “If there’s going to be another toy store, that’s the only place there’s room,” Ruhe said.

Ruhe will carry brands such as Playmobil and Plan Toys.

Two years of working part time at Mrs. Tiggy-Winkle’s Toys provided valuable experience.

“She’s got everything she needs to know,” said David Correa, buyer for Mrs. Tiggy-Winkle’s. “Autumn is someone who really understands the philosophy of a great toy store. She brought in so many innovative and creative ideas.”

Ruhe excelled at helping customers understand why, especially in light of the rash of recent toy recalls, quality toys are better for kids, Correa said. She was able to do it in a fun way.

And he’s not worried about the competition. “We will benefit,” he said. “I’d rather see another quality toy store in town than another chain.”

To bring her childhood fairy tale to life, Ruhe has changed the story of Mildred and Dildred a little: Dildred is now a boy. But one thing stayed sweetly the same: Grandfather came to the rescue, providing a loan with an attractive interest rate.

“Without it, I wouldn’t be able to do this,” she said.

Freelance

JOYESHA CHESNICK

For the Tucson Citizen

Canadians Len Galenza and Marilynn Taverner would have driven their RV from their hometown, Calgary, Alberta, on a trek across the United States with or without the encouragement of a weak American dollar.

But they’re not complaining one bit that Canada’s loonie (the country’s dollar, so called because of the loon on one side) now is worth slightly more than the U.S. buck.

“It’s definitely a very nice feeling, for a change, to be on the other side of the coin,” said Galenza, a retired financial officer spending a few weeks at Beaudry RV Resort, 5151 S. Country Club Road. “It’s more attractive to us. It means we can stay longer and do things we would not have.”

The dollar’s fall could mean a boost for Tucson tourism.

The U.S. dollar, weak for a few years, has recently hit historic lows against the euro and the Canadian dollar and fallen further against the British pound.

“The ultimate impact is that America is on sale,” said Jacki Mieler, spokeswoman for the Arizona Office of Tourism.

A $300 resort room that cost 360 Canadian dollars two years ago costs just 300 today with the Canadian dollar, a 17 percent savings.

For British visitors, a $100 meal costs 50 pounds today, down 13 percent from two years ago.

Of the nearly 2 million international visitors to Arizona last year, 496,300 were from Canada, a 17.4 percent increase over 2005, according to the Arizona Office of Tourism. And the Canadian dollar has gotten even stronger since then.

Although specific local statistics aren’t kept, Tucson is part of that surge, said Rick Vaughan, senior vice president of sales and marketing for the Metropolitan Tucson Convention & Visitors Bureau.

“The Canadian market has always been strong here,” he said. “But now that (the exchange rate) is almost even, there’s a very strong indication for increased tourism activity.”

Vaughan said the MCTVB has a dedicated salesperson for Canada, and a major print campaign is being used to draw tourists.

Galenza, on his second trip to this part of the country, said he’s heard a lot of other Canadians talk about making a trip south.

“There’s no question about it,” he said, pointing out that last year it cost 250 Canadian dollars to fill a half-tank in his motor home compared to 200 Canadian this year.

Beaudry RV Resort has seen a 5 percent to 10 percent increase in Canadian visitors at its 346-hookup facility since last year, said Ruben Reyes, guest services manager.

“Canadians have always come,” he said. “But there’s a definite increase. Many of them are going on to Mexico.”

Other resorts don’t seem affected. Sue Fuller, general manager of Voyager RV Resort, 8701 S. Kolb Road, which has 1,576 spaces, said her staff has not noticed any drastic change in international visitors.

And the strength of the Canadian dollar means little at The Westin La Paloma Resort & Spa, an upscale, 487-room Catalina foothills resort.

“I know destinations that do well off the Canadian market, but it’s nothing we can measure,” said Mark Lindsey, director of sales and marketing. “We do a lot of conferences, meetings and that type of business – mostly domestic, corporate stuff. Canadian travel is not a big piece of what we do.”

Europeans and Canadians have traditionally made up a large part of the visitors over the past 43 years at White Stallion Ranch, nestled at the foot of the Tucson Mountains.

But recently, Canadians are not arriving in near the numbers as Europeans are, particularly people from the United Kingdom, said Russell True, co-owner.

“Europe is just surging,” True said. “We have a long history with Canadian travelers. We just haven’t seen quite the percentage increase. But I expect it.”

For tourists from south of the border, the exchange rate is not a factor, Vaughan said.

“There really hasn’t been any movement,” he said.

The Mexican peso has remained steady, hovering around 9 U.S. cents for the past year.

While the Arizona Office of Tourism reports that visits to the state from international visitors outside North America have been flat, the ranch saw a 40 percent increase in guests from Europe in September compared with September 2006. And October was up, too.

“Right now it’s so inexpensive, it’s like half off,” True said, referring to the exchange rate favoring the euro. “It’s great for our business.”

And there’s a hidden benefit to a weak U.S. dollar: “A lot of our (American) guests are Europe-type travelers, and it’s keeping them home,” True said. “From a purely selfish standpoint, that’s good for us.”

Geopolitical issues, however, are keeping Europeans from visiting the U.S. in even greater numbers, Vaughan said. “There’s strong activity, but not as strong as you think.”

There are few positive elements to the image of America across the world, he said. And that has a big impact on tourism.

“Europeans have always loved Arizona, just because of the weather conditions,” Vaughan said. “But the bigger issue is image. There’s misunderstanding about passports, homeland security and how they’re welcome in our country.”

Even with the favorable exchange rate, the nation as a whole has to be more aggressive to attract the overseas traveler, he said.

“It’s over a $2 billion industry, so we think it’s pretty important,” Vaughan said.

The Arizona Republic contributed to this article.

• Go to www.tucsoncitizen.com/KNOW for a currency converter along with many searchable databases.

Citizen Staff Writer
Cover story

JOYESHA CHESNICK

familyplus@tucsoncitizen.com

Chances are you won’t get carded at Tucson’s hottest new dance club. But you will need a child – someone under the age of 11 or so – to come along if you want to get in.

Baby Club Congress, a family disco, debuts Sunday in digs that Esquire magazine recently called one of the best bars in America. Organizers say their goal is “putting the ‘P’ back in party.”

“It was the end of summer, and I wanted something different to do,” said Rebecca Hanley, whose parents have owned Hotel Congress, 311 E. Congress St., since 1984. “All these moms were saying they’re stuck at home.”

Then she heard from a friend in Boston about Baby Loves Disco, the brainchild of Heather Murphy Monteith, a Philadelphia mom fed up with the commercialism (not to mention the junk food) that seems to dominate traditional kid-oriented venues. From a humble start in a nightclub in 2004, Baby Loves Disco now has locations in more than 21 cities.

“Baby Loves Disco is an urban experiment and experience that challenges many norms . . . (It) serves the priorities of the family by refusing to accept that parenting is an isolated experience,” Murphy Monteith wrote on her Web site.

Although Baby Club Congress is an independent enterprise, Hanley is confident the concept will work in Tucson. “We have a disco,” she said of the hotel’s iconic Club Congress. “And we have babies.”

Heather Rouse, a friend of Hanley’s, is excited about taking her baby, Hannah, to the opening party. “I think it’s a great opportunity for parents to meet other parents and to get out and have a good time,” she said. “There’s going to be a lot of interesting people.”

And, of course, there’s the dancing. “I’ve got a 12-month-old, and she loves to dance,” Rouse said.

Every second Sunday of the month, the club will shed its black-and-red club vibe and transform into a colorful, carpeted wonderland topped by a 30-foot parachute. There’ll be dancing to music from the ’70s and ’80s for people of all ages, fashion shows, kiddie karaoke, a Battle of the Baby Bands, a college fund raffle, shopping and “secret” stuff that Hanley isn’t revealing yet.

She also mentioned Club Crawl (yes, it’s a play on the name of Tucson’s biggest annual music event,) a secure, padded area exclusively for tiny tots to get their grooves on. Healthy snacks and drinks for kids and nonalcoholic beverages for designated drivers are complimentary.

Others can fill up on appetizers and “Adult Bottles” at the full bar.

“We’ll be serving drinks with fun names like ‘The Epidural,’ ” Hanley said. “We’re still working on those.”

Security will be on hand to make sure little ones stay safe, she added.

Sitting in the lobby and juggling Hanley’s 11-month-old daughter, Josephine Hanley, on her lap, Shana Oseran, Hanley’s mother, recalls opening the club nearly 25 years ago.

“There were no discos. And then, all of the sudden, Saturday nights happened,” she said. “So maybe Baby Club Congress will be the same. Maybe all those people who came around back then will be back, with their children.”

It’s a natural evolution, Oseran said – even for the hotel, which recently installed a diaper changing station in its bathroom, the first since it opened in 1919.

She credits baby Josephine for the club’s latest direction. “Without Josephine, there would be no Baby Club Congress,” Hanley agreed.

Although some might be skeptical of the value of “clubbing” for children, she envisions a place of “books, fun, education and creativity.”

And after all, Hanley pointed out, “I grew up here, and I’m OK.”

IF YOU GO

What: Baby Club Congress

When: 2-5 p.m. Sunday, and the second Sunday of every month to follow

Where: Club Congress, 311 E. Congress St.

Price: Kids are free; $10 for one adult and $15 for two. Only a few tickets remain and will be available at the door. Buy tickets now for the November event at www.ticketweb.com

Info: 622-8848

Freelance
Cover story

JOYESHA CHESNICK

familyplus@tucsoncitizen.com

Janet Celaya wasn’t thinking about culture at age 13 when she joined her first escaramuza, a Mexican equestrian sidesaddle drill team.

“It wasn’t that important to me,” said Celaya, now 26 and captain of Escaramusa Flor de Primavera. “It was just the fact that I liked riding. It seemed cool and very interesting.”

Since then, dressed in the colorful gowns of 19th-century Mexico and leading her group in precision routines, Celaya has come to appreciate the heritage behind her sport, which honors Mexican women riders who accompanied men sent into battle during the Mexican Revolution.

“A lot of girls don’t know a lot of the historical part of it, but they learn,” she said. “You become more proud of who you are. You have to be able to know where you come from to know where you’re going.”

It’s many a parent’s dream, instilling in a child knowledge and respect of their own culture and history, and those of others.

“We try not to put limitations, and we try not to force anything,” Peggy Solis, director of community relations and visitor services at the Tucson Children’s Museum said of her family’s approach.

Solis’ family is from Guatemala. Her husband’s family hails from the reservations of South Dakota. Wicahtiwin (Star Woman) Horse, 8, and Psitowin (Blue Bead Woman) Horse, 6, named by their Lakota grandmother, are learning history and traditions of their forefathers.

Languages, foods – such as corn tortillas and buffalo – and trips to visit family are part of their exposure. A large influence is the song and dance of their father’s culture. “They’ve been around it, hearing that type of music since they were babies,” Solis said. “The drums can be loud, but my daughters hear them and fall asleep. It’s just natural, a lullaby.”

Traditions are important, Solis said. “They need to understand they are Lakota, not just Indian.”

Susan Chan wants the same for her two boys, Pierson, 4, and Spencer, 2. They go to the Tucson Chinese School, where language, calligraphy, art and dance are taught.

“It just gives them more a sense of belonging: I am Chinese, and not just Chinese but Chinese-American,” Chan said. Pierson loves traditional Chinese lion dance, mimicking the movement of the lion accompanied by pounding drums and gongs.

How did they get interested? “We’ve been so active in the community and we bring the kids with us wherever we go.”

Exploring other types of culture – ethnicities, arts, regional specialties – is as important as knowing one’s own. Attending festivals is one way to get kids involved, said Mariela Vega, recreation specialist and events specialist at El Rio Neighborhood Center. “We try to get our kids in the entertainment, something they like to be interested in, like piñatas and games and singing,” said Vega, who helped coordinate the Día de San Juan celebration in June, when people pray to St. John for rain.

Vega’s daughter, Alexa, 5, was princess at the festival and accompanied Bishop Gerald Kincanas during the parade and benediction. “She knows why she’s going to be princess,” Vega said. “It’s not because you’re pretty, I explained to her, it’s religious stuff and you need to respect and be serious.”

Mia Hansen, president of the Cultural Exchange Council of Tucson, which hosts Tucson Meet Yourself every October, said children are “automatically attracted to different colors, movements and sounds.”

“We focus on the educational and outreach side, things that make us different and join us together,” she said. “It creates a wonderful environment for peaceful coexistence.”

CELEBRATE TUCSON

Explore Tucson history and culture at August events celebrating the Old Pueblo’s 232nd birthday.

Festivities kick off Wednesday, with proclamations by government officials and swings at the birthday piñata. Presidio soldiers will present the colors and, if necessary, open the piñata by force. Festivities are from 10:30-11:15 a.m. at Presidio San Agustín de Tucson, in the 800 block of West Congress Street.

Other free family-friendly Tucson birthday celebrations include:

• From 10 a.m.-7 p.m. Saturday, take part in the Presidio Settlement Fiesta downtown near Washington Street and Church Avenue. Mariachis, dancers, food booths and children’s activities, including a puppet show, adobe brickmaking, flowermaking, quill writing and piñatas are included. Attendees are encouraged to dress in period costume.

• American Indian tales by storyteller Gil Payette, piñata fun, birthday cake and punch are part of this family celebration from 10:30 a.m.-noon Aug. 11 at Himmel Park Library, 1035 N. Treat Ave.

• Celebrate Fiestas de San Augustín from 5-11 p.m. Aug. 25 at Armory Park, 220 S. Fifth Ave. The event, named after the patron saint of Tucson, celebrates the 1775 founding of El Presidio de Tucson. Traditional foods, art, music and crafts are part of the fun.

JOYESHA CHESNICK

familyplus@tucsoncitizen.com

Jerry Douglas pets his dog when he knows he’s going to get mad at his 15-year-old son, Dylon Heald.

“It gives me a chance to think without ruining my concentration,” said Douglas, 45, who has taken half a dozen classes offered at the Parent Connection, including anger management, to help himself grow as a parent.

Anger invades all families. Learning to manage it is key for parents and children, experts say.

“I always thought I was a good parent, but the Parent Connection helped me hone in on what was essential for my son,” he said. “I used to be a hothead and get angry. Now I say, ‘What could have happened as a result of this? I’m not angry. I’m frightened. You could have gotten hurt.’ ”

Learning not to react right away is the key, Douglas said.

“Take a couple of deep breaths. Find out which emotion is fueling your anger,” he said. “Then come back in a short while, after you’ve had a chance to reflect on it.”

Dylon takes a similar approach.

“I just go in my room until I get calmer,” the ninth-grader said. He lies down for a while and then goes back to his dad later to work things out. It seems to help, he said.

“What we always have with us is breath, slowing down the action,” said psychologist Lynne Namka, known to her Tucson clients as the “lady who knows about mads.”

Namka, who has been studying and writing about anger for 25 years, helps people to express their feelings appropriately.

When we get angry, stress hormones flood our system, and in that state, common sense goes out the window, Namka said. “People say things they don’t mean. They vent and express their frustration, and they hurt others and themselves.”

Anger is a problem when you’re hurting yourself or somebody else, or damaging property, said Fran Haggerty, manager of the counseling department at Our Family Services.

“The first way to control it is to recognize that you’re angry and that anger is OK,” she said. “If people can identify how they feel first, at least they have some choices.”

Haggerty often hears people say they couldn’t help their actions.

“You can help it,” she said. “You can stop.”

Here are suggestions from Namka and Haggerty on ways families can handle common situations that often end in a fight:

PARENTS

List consequences for teens when they miss curfew

Your teenage son was supposed to be home by midnight. It’s 1 a.m. and you’re tired, worried and angry.

Namka: Try the “one-minute manager” technique, reminding the child of the rules, letting him know you’re disappointed and pausing for a moment to let it soak in.

“You’re also reaching out and touching the child on the shoulder and affirming them as a good human being. ‘I know you’re a good kid, but I don’t approve of this behavior of breaking curfew.’ ”

Then ask the child what he’s going to do next time to keep curfew.

“If you choose to put some grounding or punishment, that’s independent of this one-minute approach. And that’s fine. But this forces parents to slow down and think rather than explode.”

Haggerty: “In today’s day, everybody has a cell phone, so there is no excuse.” Listen to what the child has to say, get an assurance it won’t happen again and set up consequences. Kids themselves come up with creative and appropriate consequences, she said.

KIDS

Hash out baby-sitting request with mom

Your parents are making you skip a trip to the mall to watch your kid brother, which makes you want to clonk the kid over the head with your shoe.

Namka: “I really recommend a family learn to talk – ‘Mom, there’s something that’s making me feel angry. I never have any space. I always have to look after him.’ ”

Parents need to listen to how a child is feeling and help him or her understand the reason it’s important to help the family.

Haggerty: “I think things have to be done with some kind of agreement. You can’t just pop it on them.

“It’s important to give children the same respect we expect. ‘I need you to help me out, so you can’t go to the mall right now. But as soon as I get back, you’re there. You’re out the door.’ ”

KIDS

Ask parents to make date to spend time

Your dad is always working and never has time to play with you. You think your feelings don’t matter to him.

Namka: Children should be encouraged to talk about their feelings of frustration. But they also have to realize that their wishes may not become reality.

“How are you going to deal with the fact that you have a good dad; he just doesn’t like to play with kids?” is one way the mother in this situation could approach it.

Kids can also look for one important adult to be with – the other parent, a friend, a coach. “I always encourage parents to look around their neighborhoods and see who needs a friend. A friendly smile and an ‘atta boy’ is enough. You don’t have to make it a deep relationship.”

Haggerty: Have a family meeting and make dates. Even a trip to the grocery store together is enough to thrill most kids. “We’re all working and very busy. We don’t have to spend a lot of time with the kids, but things do have to be set up and dates have to be made.”

PARENTS

For your sanity, separate those bellicose kids

The kids have been bickering nonstop since they got home from school. You now have a headache and are ready to pick a fight yourself.

Namka: “Separating the children is a good idea. Make sure they have a place to de-stress when they come home tired from school.”

There are several “de-stressing” techniques Namka recommends: Self-talk, which means saying things like ‘I can handle this’; taking long, deep breaths or a series of short, quick breaths; self-acupressure, which involves tapping on your body with your fingers or a gentle fist to create a calm response; or eye movements, stopping and looking at different quadrants while you breathe or making big circles with your eyes.

Haggerty: “Take a breath. Realize everybody’s stressed and everybody’s tired.” As for the kids, “I would separate them, not as a punishment, but as a break.”

KIDS

Teens want space; get details before rushing decision

You and your friends want to go to an all-ages show starring your favorite band, but your parents say you’re too young to go to a concert without adult supervision. So uncool. Don’t they trust you?

Namka: “It has to do with values. Parents have certain values and ways we should act. There’s also parental fears that come into play.” Namka helps children understand what their parents’ fears may be: kidnapping, pregnancy, a drug-laced drink. “This needs to be handled in family conversations where children learn what the family’s values are and what’s expected of them.”

Conversely, teenagers want space to grow, and they want to be heard. “If you’re saying not now, at what age will I be allowed? Or under what circumstances?” she suggests teens should ask. “And follow the rules when you are allowed to do it. No causing parental angst.”

Haggerty: “I’d like to know who the band was. What I would do with my kids is check it out. Drop them off and pick them up. Be at the door.”

PARENTS

Move body, not mouth, in getting junior to bed

You’ve asked your second-grader to brush his teeth and get ready for bed three or four times. The next time you have to say it, you’re going to lose your cool.

Namka: “This is an example of parent, move your body not your mouth.”

Sometimes, the parent has to physically get involved, for example, by turning off the television. “Give him a warning: ‘In three minutes, you need to go brush your teeth.’ Then you go intervene.”

Haggerty: “Now we’re getting into a game. How can we break this game?” Instead of giving orders, parents sometimes have to walk with the children, Haggerty said. “Come on, let’s brush our teeth together.”

Offering choices, such as picking a toothbrush or flavor of toothpaste, is a good technique as well. “And it’s not ‘Do you want me to hit you with a switch or do you want to brush your teeth?’ You can be firm and still be gentle.”

Freelance

By JOYESHA CHESNICK

familyplus@tucsoncitizen.com

Every child has talents. But some children have such extraordinary capabilities they’re considered gifted.

Logan Slater’s gift is writing.

“When I was 3 or 4, I was obsessed with the word ‘technology’. Every other word was technology,” said the 12-year-old, a seventh-grader at St. Gregory College Preparatory School.

“He was a little different,” said his mother, Christina Slater.

Aside from possessing a huge vocabulary even as a baby, he would “obsess about different things at different times,” she said. “And he has the ability to look at something for a short period of time and remember it.”

Logan’s buddy and classmate, 13-year-old Dominic Valencia, computes math problems faster than most adults do. He can’t quite explain how he does it, but Dominic, who is colorblind, says it has to do with a system of assigning colors to numbers in groups of 10.

Both boys scored high enough on the ACTs, a college entrance exam, to qualify for a six-week program offered by The Center for Talented Youth at Johns Hopkins University this summer.

But in many cases, it’s not easy to tell whether a child is truly gifted or just really bright.

“There’s no exact definition of giftedness,” said Robert Young, who tried to organize a support group for families of gifted children last year. The group fizzled out after three or four meetings.

“It’s very political, so definitions vary according to the purpose of the questioner,” said Young, acting director of Sixth Avenue Tutorials and head of school at the International School of Tucson. “A lot is tied up with people trying to get a better education for their kids.”

In general, he said, gifted children are significantly ahead of the above average, and ordinary provisions don’t cater to them.

“Bright children laugh at my jokes; gifted children tell jokes that I laugh at,” a teacher once told Deborah Anders, co-director of the Gifted And Talented Education program in the Tucson Unified School District.

Of the 60,000 students in TUSD, no more than 25 are profoundly gifted, said Anders, who is also principal at Jefferson Park Elementary School. Programs such as GATE cater to the above average.

“One of the things we know is that gifted kids show passion for different activities and ideas and stay with them either until the end of time or until they learn it and move onto the next thing,” she said.

Gifted kids learn fast. They can think about highly abstract and high-level concepts and apply them to the world around them. They can multitask.

But being gifted can come with challenges. Gifted learners can be compulsive. They can be perfectionists. And they may not fit comfortably with their peer group.

“Their age peers are not necessarily their social peers,” Anders said. “If I’m a fourth-grader and I’m gifted, I generally get along with sixth-graders or eighth-graders or high school kids.”

Gifted children learn better when with other gifted kids, she said. “It’s a challenge for parents and teachers because we tended to use the gifted in class to help kids who don’t get it, and instead they should be moving at an accelerated pace.”

A high percentage of people in prison are considered gifted, she pointed out. “My belief is they were bored in school.”

Logan said he didn’t like the public school he attended from third to fifth grade. “I felt like I wasn’t learning enough.”

His mother said Logan never exhibited behavior problems, but took some time to learn that “life is full of things you don’t want to do.” Turning in homework assignments on time was one of those things, until recently.

“He was the most headstrong of all our children. We struggled with having him accept ‘no,’ ” Slater said. “He needed more enforcement than the others.”

At St. Gregory, she said, her son gets the individualized attention he needs.

Dominic’s family has moved in the past to accommodate the educational needs of the children, all three of whom have fared well on tests for giftedness.

“So that they would be challenged,” explained his mother, Kristina Valencia. “I’m a strong believer in not just doing sit-down worksheets.”

Parents must advocate for children who are gifted, Young said. “The system isn’t going to provide for them unless somebody is there banging on tables.”

Summer school, after-school programs, museums and networking with parents are valuable resources for parents with gifted children, Anders said.

Pima Community College, which offers courses in hundreds of subjects, is a practical and affordable option for older children, Young added.

Slater found out about the Johns Hopkins program from staff at St. Gregory. “I was totally unaware anything like this existed,” she said. “Had I known when he was in second grade, I would have been interested in looking into it.”

But the parenting challenges are as great as the educational ones. Although Logan shyly admits he likes being called gifted, his mother says the moniker has become a joke in the family.

“Our challenge is not to make this a standout, not bigger than the other kids’ accomplishments,” she said. “And there’s a fine line between pushing him and not stressing him out.”

Logan said he doesn’t feel different than other kids. “Everyone has their own thing – mine’s writing,” he said.

Other than that, he’s a normal kid doing normal things – swimming, hiking, reading. He may spend more time pondering the view of the foothills from his backyard trampoline than the typical teen, but he needs inspiration for writing in his favorite genre, nature.

And to him, the future is clear: “My goal is to go to some abandoned island with paper and pen and have the monkeys bring me fruit,” he said.

BRIGHT CHILD VS. GIFTED LEARNER

By author Janice Szabos

A bright child: A gifted child:

Knows the answers Asks the questions

Is interested Is highly curious

Is attentive Is mentally and physically involved

Has good ideas Has wild, silly ideas

Works hard Plays around, yet tests well

Answers the questions Discusses in detail, elaborates

Top group Beyond the group

Listens with interest Shows strong feelings, opinions

Learns with ease Already knows

Masters in six-eight repetitions Masters in one-two repetitions

Understands ideas Constructs abstractions

Enjoys peers Prefers adults

Grasps the meaning Draws inferences

Completes assignments Initiates projects

Is receptive Is intense

Copies accurately Creates a new design

Enjoys school Enjoys learning

Absorbs information Manipulates information

Technician Inventor

Enjoys straightforward, Thrives on complexity

sequential presentation

Is alert Is keenly observant

Is pleased with own learning Is highly self-critical

http://arizonagifted.org/Giftedness/index.html

LOGAN’S WRITING

One of Logan Slater’s favorite essays is one he wrote about visits to the family cabin in Montana. For the complete essay, go to www.tucsoncitizen.com and select this story.

Dream Spot

by Logan Slater

The greatest scent worth smelling is the aroma of crisp, sweet pine trees showing their magic off to the world in the cool, quick breezes of summer. The greatest sight possible to see is the silver glittering of infinite stars shining into the navy hue of a still lake, blurry from the grey smoke of the campfire. The sweetest taste in the world is the tart tingle on your lips from a lick of violet huckleberry ice cream. The most extreme feeling to feel is the tight grip of small sweaty palms, desperately holding on to avoid plunging into the water of ice. The clearest sound available to hear is the crunch under sneakers, chanting a rhythm along with the bloodthirsty branches, whacking themselves into their companions. The only place to feel alive is the humble cabin by the lake, under the trees, and away from stress in Montana.

Freelance

By JOYESHA CHESNICK

familyplus@tucsoncitizen.com

Working out of their 1,200-square-foot, three-bedroom house, architects Miguel Fuentevilla and Sonya Sotinsky sometimes feel a little cramped.

“The house shrank dramatically when we had our second child,” said Fuentevilla, 39, who with his wife runs FORS architecture and interiors as a home-based business.

On top of the trappings that come with daughters Siena, 6, and Ela Pilar, 4, the house is crammed with books, magazines, drawings, files, models, a reference library and an intern. A bedroom serves as the office, the dining room is the conference area and the master bedroom doubles as storage.

But the couple have no intention of moving the office out of their home.

“We were talking about having kids and the commute and never seeing the girls,” said Sotinsky, 36. “Even though I close and often lock the door, I could hear if something is going on and poke my head out.”

Added Fuentevilla: “Before, I could go 48 hours without seeing them. I don’t think that ever happens now, unless I have to go out of town. I just couldn’t even think of going back.”

About 15 percent of workers in Pima County and across the country telecommute or “telework.” According to a survey by the International Telework Association and Council, 45.1 million Americans did some work at home in 2005. The number of full-time employees allowed to work at home at least one day a month rose 30 percent to 9.9 million, according to the survey.

The council is an advisory group for WorldatWork, a nonprofit organization for human resources professionals.

“It helps employees accommodate other things, like child care, a long commute or elder issues,” said Rose Stanley of WorldatWork. “And the benefits of telecommuting (for employers) include increased productivity, lowering of absenteeism, lower turnover, a higher base of qualified candidates, and it could reduce office space requirements.”

She said telecommuting is on the rise, aided by advances in technology. New technology is affecting even home-based cosmetic sales, a longstanding option for moms.

Debbie Evans, 39, began selling Mary Kay as an independent beauty consultant in Tucson a year ago, shortly after her divorce.

Her Web site offers clients tips on applying makeup, color offerings and the ability to buy products online. “This wasn’t a do-or-die situation that I had to work,” said Evans, the mother of three boys: Cole, 5; Hunter, 11; and Mac, 14. “This was additional money that was just mine and didn’t come from the divorce.”

Evans said setting her own hours helps with her biggest challenge – getting everybody where they have to be.

And the boys get involved. “My 5 year old helps. I’ll say, ‘Go get this eyeshadow, the one that begins with a “T.” ‘ He’ll go get that and help me pack up the bags.” Hunter puts stickers on.

“The reason this has been as successful as it has is because of everything behind it,” Evans said. “There’s the company itself, there’s great camaraderie when you get into it, and . . . they offer tremendous resources and opportunities.”

There are challenges, however, that come with working from home.

From an employer’s perspective, those are “ensuring employees are completing their work projects, have appropriate technology in place at home and have acceptance within the organization from supervisors and co- workers,” Stanley said.

Sotinsky said separating home life from work can be difficult. “It does become all- consuming,” she said. “We’re passionate about what we’re doing so our conversations tend to go in that direction.

“A few weeks ago, we made a pact that we cannot talk about work in our bedroom. Ever.”

Having time with the girls is great, Fuentevilla said. “But you’ve got to do work at work. You can’t get caught up with the things around the house.”

Plans for a detached studio office on the property are in the works to alleviate the space crunch.

“We’re looking forward to having that 20 feet of separation,” Sotinsky said.

TELECOMMUTING

• Eliminate distractions. Phone calls, family and friends, e-mail, television and radio can cut into productivity. Screen calls with an answering machine. Set up separate e-mail accounts for work and personal use. Use the VCR.

• Make a family calendar at the start of the month that includes work meetings, video or telephone conferences, appointments, children’s activities and holidays.

• Make a rule: No interruptions, unless it is an absolute emergency. Others should act as though you are not even there.

Source: Catherine Roseberry of mobileoffice.about.com

TIPS FOR EMPLOYERS

• If a policy is established allowing for telecommuting, explain it thoroughly to employees. Employees are often reluctant to ask for the benefit, fearing it would alter career opportunities.

• Managers must be supportive of these benefits and communicate that to employees, both those who will be telecommuting and those who will not.

• Offer technical support and information for telecommuters accessing systems from outside the workplace to improve productivity.

Source: Rose Stanley of WorldatWork

Citizen Staff

Academy Village focuses on learning

Personal growth is the retirement goal of these mostly academics or professionals living in the Rincon foothills.

By JOYESHA CHESNICK

news@tucsoncitizen.com

Three years ago, Carolyn and Paul Zeiger started their retirement with a new adventure in the foothills of the Rincon Mountains: They bought a home in The Academy Village and “discovered a new way of aging.”

“We never considered living in a retirement place, but (Academy Village) would support our continuing interest and make new directions possible,” Carolyn Zeiger, 60, said of the couple’s decision to move here from Boulder, Colo. “We loved the combination of mind and body – my husband is a yoga teacher and a computer scientist. It allowed us to continue some of the things we do because we have so much in common with other people here.”

The Academy Village, 13701 E. Old Spanish Trail, was the brainchild of former University of Arizona President Henry Koffler. Residents automatically become members of The Arizona Senior Academy, where on any given day they can attend a concert or seminar, take an art class or learn yoga, listen to a lecture on geology or discuss music theory.

Zeiger, who continues to work part time as a clinical and organizational psychologist, said she takes part in community activities almost daily and her new passion is art – in all mediums. One of her creations is on display in the community center.

“I really love life in this community. The people are truly pioneers, that spirit of adventure and helping each other out,” she said. “We’re trying something new, the village being a new concept. These are creative people, hard working and big hearted.”

Mary Schwindt, project manager for The Academy Village, said the events are well attended.

“They’re always full,” she said. “Residents have lots of things going on, interest groups, meetings, and every Friday night a happy hour.” The camaraderie “is really amazing. It’s a real community,” she said.

There is generally a concert on Tuesday afternoons, hosted by one to three musicians, many of whom are university professors or graduate students, Schwindt said.

Another important part of the community is the wellness program, which includes an in-house wellness staff, licensed outpatient treatment, health assessments and screenings and fitness advocacy. There is also a health resource library and periodic wellness checks for residents in addition to courses such as yoga and water aerobics.

Construction at The Academy Village had been on hiatus for about a year after the original developer filed for bankruptcy in September 2002, Schwindt said. But under a new agreement with Ohio-based Healthcare Real Estate Investment Trust, Tucson-based Doucette Homes will manage marketing, sales and construction, and building should resume soon.

“We’ve now begun the marketing project again – TV marketing, print advertising, radio posts,” Schwindt said.

Of the 264 homesites at The Academy Village, 69 have homes on them, and “we do have several lot reservations,” she said in April.

Homes range from the mid-$150,000s to the high $300,000s. Buyers can choose from among five single-family styles or three townhome styles.

“And we’re keeping our original focus, the continuation of learning and personal growth after retirement,” Schwindt added.

People are very good to each other, Zeiger said.

“They’re mostly educated professionals, from the business world or the university. But there are some people who have never worked a day in their life. People from the generation of women not encouraged to work,” she said. “But they have active minds and active interests.

“And we have a common bond of service.”

For information on The Academy Village, visit www.theacademyvillage.com and the residents’ Web site, www.academyvillagers.org.

PHOTO CAPTION: Photos by NORMA JEAN GARGASZ/Tucson Citizen

Carolyn Zeiger displays her paintings “Sonoran Quilt” (bottom) and “October Rose.” Art has become a passion since moving to The Academy Village. INSET: Paul Zeiger instructs Robert Pollard in a yoga class.

Citizen Staff

Seniors with special needs face additional problems

By JOYESHA CHESNICK

jchesnic@tucsoncitizen.com

Sitting at her dining room table, contemplating suicide, Syble Ramirez started the journey toward leaving her 25-year, increasingly brutal marriage.

“I was thinking, the children are grown and if this is all there is, I don’t want this anymore,” the 68-year-old former journalist from Mammoth said. “I was trying to find a way that wouldn’t make a mess, wouldn’t make trouble for anyone.”

In the days that followed, her thoughts turned instead to escape.

Older victims of domestic violence need different support and services, said Kay White, executive director of the local not-for-profit Administration of Resources and Choices. The group founded Tucson’s Later Life Domestic Violence Services three years ago.

“It takes more courage leaving after 50 years,” said Nan Lagemann, the program’s coordinator and a counselor. “They’re facing a future that’s going to decline.”

Many of her clients have medical conditions, Lagemann said. Some use walkers. Others are unable to drive because of deteriorating eyesight, and others are mentally incapacitated. Many have never worked and are unlikely to find jobs.

These conditions make access to the general domestic violence shelter system difficult, she said.

According to the Arizona Attorney General’s Office, the Tucson Police Department’s Elder Abuse Task Force received 226 domestic violence cases from April 1999 to March 2004.

Not all cases go through the Police Department, and some aren’t reported to law enforcement at all.

White said Later Life serves about 200 clients per year.

Ramirez had escaped before – four times from four other marriages.

This time, the decision to leave was harder, she said, because facing life alone at 65 is scary.

“When you’re older, you need the companionship more than when you are younger,” she said. “When you’re older, it’s hard to visualize starting over. You don’t have time to do that.”

She knew finding a job would be hard and finding housing would be even harder.

Breaking the cycle

Ramirez’s daughter, Shannon, 32, said there were times when she was so angry with her mother for not leaving, she “just wanted to shake her and say, ‘What is wrong with you?’”

Syble, who described her late husband as a heavy drinker, said she didn’t understand what was happening because it happened very slowly.

“If you have children, you want them to have a better life. You put up with things yourself so your children can have a better life,” she said.

And it doesn’t happen every day, 24 hours a day, she said. “It happens occasionally.”

Now that she’s been through counseling, Syble said she recognizes the pattern in her relationships.

“You get set up for these things. Why, I don’t know,” she said. “It’s like an addiction. Your life doesn’t seem complete without the turmoil, the chaos.”

But every incident was worse, more violent than the one before.

“The older he got and she got, the worse it would get,” Shannon said. “She would call me crying, and I would ask her to leave. But she never would. She always had an excuse.”

Syble said she tried to leave her husband three times.

“I had one dear friend in town. She was my cheering squad, saying, “Don’t put up with that.’ But every time I stood up I would get knocked down,” she said.

Sitting at the dining table three years ago, Syble realized the abuse had become too much to bear.

She talked to friends and acquaintances in her town, asking them how to deal with her husband’s temper. She began educating herself.

“I kept thinking, I was an intelligent person, in good health. There must be something I can do to make this man happy so we can live out our life together,” she said.

As her husband, who had cancer and diabetes, got sicker, Syble said she was afraid she was going to hurt him.

She also remembers a moment when she was working on the plumbing, and her husband, holding a pipe, said to her, “If I thought I could get away with it, I would bust your head open.”

“That’s when it hit me. He might outlive me,” she said.

At times, Shannon would go up to Mammoth and act as a mediator.

“I couldn’t sleep. I was constantly afraid that one day I was going to find that he had tried to kill her,” she said. “Then, the weekend of my 29th birthday, I got a call. He had tried to kill her while she was sleeping.”

Shannon put her foot down.

Answering both her father’s and mother’s protestations that it wouldn’t happen again, she said she would remove her mother from the house if he touched her again.

As soon as Shannon left the house, her father attacked her mother. That night, Syble stayed with a neighbor.

“The end was absolutely horrific. I could not ask him to leave the home he lived in for 50 years, so I just left,” she said. “I knew I was going to have financial difficulty and people thinking I was a terrible woman for leaving a sick husband, and I didn’t know how the children would feel about it.”

Sitting on the front porch with her husband, she told him she couldn’t live like this anymore. The truck was packed with three changes of clothing, her medication, her birth certificate and a few other things.

“I said goodbye,” she said. “I just walked out. I got in my vehicle and drove away, and I knew I wasn’t coming back. I had no plan what I was going to do. But I would have lived under a bridge if I had to.”

Getting her life back

Shannon came home from work to find her mother sitting on the front steps of her apartment, sobbing.

“She was afraid he was not taking his medication and what people would think of her,” she said. “And while she’s saying this, I’m worried for him but relieved she’s in my house and safe.”

Taking her mother into her one-bedroom apartment was a financial burden.

“But I was willing to do anything. I wanted her to be safe, to be able to sleep without fear of being attacked,” she said.

Co-workers at the Tucson Urban League gave Shannon information on domestic violence and put her in touch with the Pima Council on Aging, which helped with a deposit on a two-bedroom apartment.

Syble went to group counseling at Later Life, started earning a small stipend as a senior companion for home-bound people and began divorce proceedings.

“It was amazing to watch her change,” her daughter said.

Six months later, Syble’s husband died, and she moved back to Mammoth.

“That’s when I found out the people in Mammoth still loved me. I was welcomed,” she said. “A lot of people said they knew what I was going through and they were sorry.”

Now, Syble sits on the town council in Mammoth, where she still lives in the home she shared with her late husband. She is getting involved in behavioral health and rural health-care issues.

Syble said the memory of her marriage and its end are still painful.

“I don’t like being alone,” she said. “But … I don’t want to be in that position ever again.”

TUCSON POLICE CASES

Domestic violence cases handled by Tucson Police Department’s Elder Abuse Task Force from March 1999 to March 2004

Charge Cases Arrests

Aggravated assault/other 17 11

Assault with injury 39 15

Assault with no injury 55 21

Criminal damage/vandalism 40 14

Family offense/custodial 1 0

Disturbing the peace 35 14

Trespassing 8 3

Other felony offenses 1 0

Other misdemeanors 30 7

Source: Arizona Attorney General’s Office

Childhood violence continued into adult life

By JOYESHA CHESNICK

jchesnic@tucsoncitizen.com

Despite the brutality and heartache he introduced to her life, Shannon Ramirez considered her stepfather her dad.

She loved him as a father even though he abused her mother, Syble Ramirez, for most of the couple’s 25-year marriage.

“He wasn’t always physically violent. In the beginning it started off as the typical arguing a couple does,” Ramirez said. “Then it escalated, got more and more violent. He started off throwing things, at first not at her, then at her. Then he started grabbing her and throwing her up against the wall.

“When I was younger, I was afraid of him, so I would stay away from the situation. I’d go to my room or a neighbor’s house. When I was a teen, I couldn’t stand anymore. I would physically put myself between them.”

Over time, Ramirez became a target for her stepfather’s violence as well.

“From the time I was 10, I have been hearing, ‘I am going to kill you, you dah-dah-dah-dah-dah,” she said.

But the question “Why?” never got a clear response.

“He would say, ‘You don’t know what you’re talking about, you no-good … ,’ ” she said. “It was your fault he was doing it, like he was justifying it. I grew up being told by him I was worthless, I was lazy, I was ugly, I was fat, I was stupid.

“He was telling (my mother) the same thing.”

Not surprisingly, the violence that marred her childhood continued in Ramirez’s adult life.

Twelve years ago, at age 20, she went to a hospital after a boyfriend beat her head on the bumper of a truck. She told the doctor she hit her head on a door.

Another boyfriend, without warning, knocked her down a flight of stairs. And there were other bad relationships.

Finally recognizing she needed help, she told a therapist she wanted to learn to deal with her anger.

“I was exactly like my step-father. Throw things, break things, hit people and push people,” she said. “I knew it was wrong, but I couldn’t stop.”

Things are better now.

Ramirez is in her last year at the University of Arizona – the first of her mother’s children to go to college – where she is working on a bachelor’s degree in public administration with a focus on criminal justice administration.

“There are times I get righteous. I get tired of watching people be victims, and I want to be a victim advocate,” she said. “Then there are times when I want to work in a broader scope, for the FBI or the government.”

She said the one thing she’s learned from her experience is that domestic violence victims need support to leave, even from those who disagree with their decisions.

When she helped her mother leave her stepfather three years ago, one family member accused her of meddling. Another said he was proud of her but warned that she may be putting their mother in more danger. Neither of them had lived with the violence.

Others would say she and her mother were killing their father.

“It’s hard enough to make that decision,” she said, “and especially if you’re not living in that situation, you’re not in a position to judge.”

WHERE TO GET HELP

• State/national hot line: (800) 799-SAFE

• Arizona Legal Advocacy hot line: (800) 782-6400

• ARC Elder Shelter: 327-2665

• Brewster Center: 622-6347

• LEAH Program: 795-0300

• Tucson Centers for Women and Children: 795-4266

• Wingspan: 624-1779

• Victim Witness: 740-5525

• Rape Crisis Center: 327-7273

• Child Advocacy: 319-5511

OTHER RESOURCES

• Family assistance: 791-2732

• Community referrals: 881-1794

• Orders of protection: 740-3210

‘Virtual shelter’ system helps abuse victims with extra needs

By JOYESHA CHESNICK

jchesnic@tucsoncitizen.com

Tucson has a “virtual shelter” system for elderly victims of domestic violence, a network of around 50 private homes where licensed caregivers can meet the specialized physical and emotional needs of this group of people.

“Somebody who uses a walker, can’t drive, may have macular degeneration, brings in $350 a month in Social Security and is not going to be getting a job can’t access the regular domestic violence system,” said Nan Lagemann, coordinator and counselor for Later Life Domestic Violence Services, a program of the Administration of Resources and Choices. “The regular system is not geared toward an older population.”

According to the Administration of Resources and Choices, domestic violence victims make up about 15 percent of the 400 shelter clients at the agency, which also runs Elder Shelter, the system of free, short-term emergency “virtual shelters” for people 60 and older. Senior citizens with mental or physical disabilities or experiencing housing, caregiving or financial crises are also eligible for assistance from Elder Shelter.

“We don’t take physical care of our clients,” Lagemann said. “Very generous homeowners take them on as a donation to our nonprofit.”

Lagemann added that as far as the agency knows, it is the only organization running a “virtual shelter” system.

Later Life Domestic Violence Services, which was started three years ago with a county grant and $5,500 in private donations, also offers free counseling, weekly support groups, information on the rights of victims, referralss to other community services and case management services to its clients. The program serves about 200 clients a year, including those making crisis calls.

“We started not knowing what (this service) looks, tastes and smells like,” said Kay White, the administration’s executive director. “I thought we would be doing a lot of support – counseling and hand holding – but I thought these women would never reach the point where they would effect a change.”

She was wrong.

Two-thirds of the program’s clients have left their abusers.

White said she does not envision how financially the program could manage a separate domestic violence shelter for older people.

“The virtual system is very beneficial. Otherwise, we couldn’t operate the program,” she said. “And it’s beneficial to the caregivers.”

Fifty percent of the agency’s actual placements end up staying with their crisis caregivers as paying clients, she said.

PHOTO CAPTIONS: Photos by GARY GAYNOR/Tucson Citizen

Syble Ramirez left her abusive husband after 25 years of marriage. Her daughter Shannon helped her rebuild her life.

Syble Ramirez stands outside the home in Mammoth that she shared with an abusive husband for 25 years. She left her husband and the house and returned only after he died.

‘I grew up being told by him I was worthless, I was lazy, I was ugly, I was fat, I was stupid. He was telling (my mother) the same thing.’ – Shannon Ramirez

Citizen Staff

By JOYESHA CHESNICK

jchesnic@tucsoncitizen.com

The Brewster Center and the Tucson Centers for Women and Children are among 21 domestic violence shelters nationwide that will benefit from $250,000 in grants from the Phelps Dodge Foundation.

This year’s grants mark the final year of the foundation’s three-year pledge, totaling $525,000, to address domestic violence.

“Businesses and other organizations have a responsibility to address domestic violence and other safety issues concerning the family,” said J. Steven Whisler, chairman and chief executive officer of Phelps Dodge Corp., in a news release. “This is a public health and safety issue that can be solved through an increased commitment to awareness, education and partnership with the organizations that provide the services critical to ending such violence.”

The grants were announced Thursday.

The foundation provides funds to programs that promote the safety of employees, their families and the communities in which the company operates.

“It’s unusual to have someone pledge support for a multiyear commitment,” said Sesaly Stamps, director of development and community relations for the Brewster Center, which received $24,000 from the foundation over three years.

The money has gone toward services, such as a 24-hour crisis line and crisis advocacy, intervention and planning, at the agency’s two shelters – Casa Amparo and West House, which offer 44 beds to victims.

“It’s really great that they support us,” said Norma MacKenzie, executive director of the Tucson Centers for Women and Children, which has received $24,000.

“We depend on money like that to close the gap in our budget,” she said. “It could be going for shelter services or paper and office supplies. But it will probably be used for a prevention program we have planned.”

Domestic violence shelters in Phoenix, Scottsdale, Glendale, Goodyear, Chandler, Cottonwood, Globe, Prescott, Safford and Bisbee received grants.

Shelters in New Mexico, Texas, Connecticut, Colorado, Iowa and Illinois also received support.