Off The Marquee

Often, when the time would arrive to rent movies for Halloween, copies of The Wolfman or Night of the Living Dead would go fast when I was a kid. Lucky for me, I was more into renting whatever was left on the ransacked shelves of the local video store. There were generally a few remakes hanging around that the lay community and snobs alike would turn up their noses at. Here is a list of some worthwhile horror movie remakes. And before you come crying to me about it, I’m sure I forgot one or two.

The Horror of Dracula (1958)
Hammer Studios was an English movie studio that produced a second wave of horror classics based on the Universal movies of the 1930s. Color re-imaginings of horror standards made stars out of Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing who became the new Karloff and Lugosi of horror cinema. Most of the Hammer films are excellent, but Christopher Lee’s Count Dracula is an extraordinary horror performance. The Hammer films brought bright red blood to the screen while keeping gothic sensibilities alive in fabulously dreary color. Lee revised his Dracula six more times in Hammer films.

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)
The 1978 version belongs on the list of great remakes even though the story picks up as an unspoken sequel to the original. For a brief moment, Kevin McCarthy reprises the character of Dr. Miles Bennell, the protagonist from the original movie who we last saw running in the streets yelling “they’re here.”  Twenty years later, he is nearly run over by Matthew Bennell (Donald Sutherland), a food critic who begins to notice people in his life are acting strange. Invasion brings new story elements without ruining the feel for the original; including a nefarious psychology guru played by Leonard Nimoy in his best role (yes, I said it) as he missed his calling as a nefarious character, a burgeoning Jeff Goldblum as a sarcastic guy, and the consistently overlooked stylings of Veronica Cartwright. Cartwright made her mark in the movies portraying the female character slowly losing it during the course of the movie. Cartwright is a more serious version of Terri Garr’s slow burn, and she pulls it off in a variety of genres. A great cast and good writing make this a re-vamped classic.

Nosferatu (1979)
If you asked under any other circumstances, I would say that Nosferatu is a story that should not be touched. But cinema dream team Werner Herzog and Klaus Kinski really nailed it at the end of the 70s. Kinski is a master of making the screen seem like an uncomfortable place to be. When he speaks, it’s exactly how you would imagine the count would sound in the silent version. Herzog manages to capture the feel of the original using muted colors and long takes. He creates a sense of confined danger even when Kinski is of the screen. Minimally refocused plot points give the movie an original spin without ruining the original story. The ending deserves a big gold star in the arena of abstract symbolism.

The Thing (1982)
There are circles that call this the best remake of all time. The original movie is a simple story of scientists stationed at an Arctic research facility who come upon a mysterious crash site buried under ice. After digging it up, strange things start happening around the base.  Soon, the entire team is in danger of being killed by an undefined alien suspect, and the team has nowhere to run. While the stories for both versions are essentially the same, The Thing from Another World (1951) played successfully on the horror principal that what you can’t see can be as scary as what you can see. John Carpenter threw that idea out the window with an array of on set special effects creating a gory mystery of an alien entity turning characters against one another and body parts against characters. Kurt Russell stars in the third of his four-movie stint as Carpenter’s hero; four movies should constitute the argument for a dream team moniker for Carpenter/Russell. Wilford Brimley makes an uncharacteristic appearance in this claustrophobic sci-fi adventure.  The Thing suffered at the box office in the wake of E.T. (1982), a time when the public was clamoring for cuter aliens for their kids to fall in love with. This ain’t your daddy’s The Thing(eeeewwww), and it ain’t for kids.

The Blob (1988)
It doesn’t seem that The Blob (1988) could be very good, especially in the wake of The Thing (1982). But for fans of the remake of The Thing, The Blob has a lot to offer. Director Chuck Russell, perhaps by accident or perhaps not, captured a similar dynamic in his monster movie remake adding a claustrophobic setting, good special effects and an alternative ending to The Blob’s “small town in peril” story line. The movie stars Kevin Dillon in his finest performance, if that says anything. If Keanu Reeves had a few good roles, then Kevin Dillon deserves to be distinguished. The obvious comparison just can’t be helped; for audiences who can’t get enough of The Thing, The Blob is a good watch.

Village of the Damned (1995)
I would like to compile a list of science fiction that I admire, but feel would work better as a Twilight Zone episode as opposed to a full length movie. I think Stephen King stories would be at the top of this category, and the original Village of the Damned (1960) would fit nicely into that category as well. However, the 1995 remake was directed by John Carpenter and Carpenter can stretch out a plot with unsettling imagery and evil government plots and make it worth watching. Maybe I’m too sentimental about seeing Christopher Reeve right before his accident, but I think the remake was tweaked just enough to make it great.

Dawn of the Dead (2003)
With all the technological advances at our disposal, it seems no one can do a good re-make anymore. However, a few years ago, I was surprised to find myself enjoying this Dawn of the Dead. This Dawn of the Dead shines among a string shitty ’00 remakes that I inexplicably continue supporting. As I was watching and not hating it, I thought perhaps it was because there was something endlessly appealing about the prospect of being trapped in a shopping mall while the world crumbles. As the actual end of the movie was revealed during the closing credits, I discovered that the movie was written by James Gunn. Gunn cut his teeth on Troma’s Tromeo and Juliet (1996), by far their best Troma movie since The Toxic Avenger (1984).  Gunn’s version of Dawn had all the structural elements of the original formula framed with new takes on the concept that made the story fresh. Except for a ridiculous zombie baby, it’s a really nice piece of horror writing. Faster zombies and faster action was balanced by the presence of Ving Rhames. The cast as a whole was a nice mix of ages and dispositions adding depth to the story by ignoring the formulaic gaggle of breast enhancement victims being catty with one another while Judd Apatow rejects high five about beer and sex. There is not much atmosphere in this Dawn, but as an action movie, it’s pretty good. The plot line is reverent of the original, yet diverges enough to keep it interesting. Compared to the awful state of recent horror, it’s a gem.

Honorable mentions:
Since it makes me feel like an old coot to always be dissing everything modern, I tried to highlight a few shining moments in the pathetic canon of ‘00 remakes in an attempt to differ from turning into the old guy who busts through the screen door in his bathrobe to yell at kids to get off his lawn. However, I don’t think I was very successful. I tried.  So you damn kids get off my lawn.

The Hills Have Eyes (2006)
I thought the charm of the original was in the low budget imagining of the story. This remake was pretty stupid, but the chase/slug-off  scene at the end with a huge, weird mutant guy in a 50s nuclear bomb-testing town was pretty kick-ass. Worth it for the last twenty minutes.

Halloween (2007)
I have to distinguish Rob Zombie for trying. He doesn’t deserve to be categorized with all the other dross, but this movie just didn’t quite make it for me. I can’t get used to his style of fast cut editing. That style served him better in House of a Thousand Corpses (2003). Still, there were some good frights and it looked cool most of the time. I’m convinced he is eventually going to make a classic.

Friday the 13^th (2009)
This series has been a parody of itself for so long that the “prequal humor” moments in this version are pretty redundant. The humor attempts to explain away traits in the character that have endured through all the films. These moments were moderately fun to watch, even though they were somewhat inaccurate. Sure, maybe I am being too purist about it, but why redo the whole thing and re-establish facts that don’t really matter in the first place? It would only be funny to those who know that the elements being told in the overall story of the franchise are wrong. It’s like making a biopic about a guy who doesn’t exist. There was one generally terrifying scene when a woman swimming in the lake realizes a guy in a hockey mask is watching her. I don’t usually go in for the helpless female moments, but the scene elicits one of the most realistic performances of the whole series. If someone put a gun to your head and forced you to watch a horror remake made in the 2000s, this would not be the worst choice.

Make movie time a true Halloween outing this year and check out Casa Videos’ extensive horror collection:
Casa Video 
2905 E. Speedway Blvd. Tucson, AZ 
casavideo.com

Off the Marquee is a forum for reviewing and promoting overlooked classics, cult movie screenings, second-run viewing opportunities, and independent film. If you have anything in that vein you would like to share or promote, I would be psyched to hear about it.
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