I was looking at an old episode from the Brady Bunch (Yes I admit it is a guilty pleasure it makes me laugh.) and I started looking at the family dynamics and values. One of the problems with being a therapist is I have to examine everything, I just can’t let it sit, it must be analized. As I was watching this show, it struck me as it always strikes me each time I watch it, which for the most part the Brady’s lied to us and it got me thinking…

 The Brady Bunch was one of the few series that took its viewers back to the traditional family values. They steered clear of the political and social issues, rarely were non-white characters introduced so there was no racism, and real issues such as money, abuse, crime, war, and government did not exist. They were blissful and ignorant of anything that was happening around them.

They ate at the table for each and every meal. Mom and dad never fought much, the housekeeper Alice never asked for a raise or mentioned money for having to do all the work in the house and take care of six kids, several whom suffered from apparent mental health issues. There was never any sexual misconduct, the kids never got in any real trouble with the law, and real everyday issues just did not exist. I was sort of the Brady’s through the looking glass.

Indeed, The Brady Bunch taught America that everyone gets along just fine and each and every problem can resolved in less than 20 minutes even blended family issues. Mike and Carol Brady doled out love and affection for each child and no partiality what’s so ever. Carols kids were Mikes kids and vice versa. There was never an adjustment period for the family to be blended and if there was, it only took twenty minutes to get past it.

 Mike once said on an episode, “We’ve got a wonderful bunch of kids, I mean really marvelous. They don’t play hookey, they don’t lie, and they’re not fresh. But they just won’t stay off of that phone.” This was the worse Mike could say about his children. I have to wonder what he would have said if cell phones were invented back then?

 Carol Brady was not a housekeeper Alice was, so no one knows what Carol did all day while the kids were in school. She did not work, nor take care of the kids, nor do housework, so what was that woman doing? When the kids got home, she was always gleeful and happy and smiling. It is very possible that Carol was a prescription pill user. Mike was always in his study working at night leaving poor Carol and Alice to deal with the kids.   

 No matter how we look at it we have to come to terms that the Brady Bunch lied to America. That’s right folks, I hate to bust your Brady bubble, but there was not one thing on that show that even resembled real life. Still, we watched that show, and we watch the reruns, and we will continue to laugh at the antics of the Brady Bunch perhaps because they were so unreal.

I’m sitting here getting ready to feed about 40 people Thanksgiving dinner a week early. You know all the traditional parties that we need to do. I looked at the dishes I decided to bring, one of which is a spaghetti squash salad with broccoli and olives and a yummy dressing on it. The other dish is a black bean and corn with lime, chilis, green onions, and cilantro. I looked all this over and it got me thinking….

 Whatever happened to traditional Thanksgivings? You know the kind with tons of gravy, stuffing and more gravy, potatoes and more gravy, and yams all loaded down and accessorized with pounds of butter. Who said back in the 50s that turkey was good for you?

 I recall as a small child my grandmother injecting her turkey with loads of butter and she topped it off with more butter. Hmmmm, now that is what I call a butter ball! Then there was the carbohydrate heaven which meant two kinds of stuffing, two kinds of potatoes, and two kinds of dinner rolls. And if we looked really hard on the table, there were vegetables, but I am sure that was a carb too, it was probably corn, with guess what? Lots of butter.

 I love TV and stuff showing the woman cooking the turkey and the man cutting it at the table. I have never really seen that done except on TV. I personally think carving the turkey is the hardest part, and my grandmother would be at her kitchen counter with her electric knife, swearing as she tried so hard to get that turkey cut. It was always that darn drumstick that got in the way.

 After the feast, we sat then ate puddings and pies. Lots of puddings, and lots of pies. The adults would drink beer and wine, and we kids would feel drunk on kool-aid and pudding. Though an odd combination, the taste was quite yummy.

 Today, we hardly use butter; it makes our cholesterol levels go up, so we look for the healthy alternatives. I did not say tasty ones; I simply stated healthy. We make choices which carb we would like at our table. Lord knows we do not serve two kinds of potatoes, two kinds of stuffing, or enough bread to feed an army. No we do not do that any longer. After all, we do not want to gain too many pounds because in America obesity is a growing problem that causes diabetes and high blood pressure, or some other new ailment that we will probably need a prescription drug for.

 Today, our table holds not a lot of carbs, no real butter, and a salt substitute so we don’t get high blood pressure. I am afraid to talk about dessert. So I will leave it at that, whatever did happen to the traditional Thanksgiving dinner?

Gossip by Norman Rockwell

I run a support group, and like any support group, it has its problems and issues. Some people want this while others want that. Some people like that while others like this. In the past few months, we have had a great deal of gossipers, which is really too bad because gossip is not the truth, just some poor, angry, bored people who need to stir a pot up and get attention for themselves. I realized that for the most part we need to pity people who gossip, and this got me thinking….

 Though we know it’s wrong, and we should not do it, and people get hurt, Americans love to gossip just as much as they love to listen to the gossip, and why not? We promote it! As we check out at the market, we see all sorts of gossip newspapers and magazines and we view the headline because we want to know which celebrity is getting fat, and who is cheating on whom, and then we pass it around like it was the drug we put in our crack pipes.

 But how did some of this Hollywood gossip get started? Why do Americans love to hear the dirt on celebrities and people they don’t even know? Well, I believe we can begin to unravel some of the mayhem with one of the queens of gossip, Rona Barrett.

 Rona Barrett became a gossip columnist for the newspaper Bell-McClure in 1957. In 1966, she began broadcasting Hollywood gossip on a Los Angeles television station. The rest is history. She became a national gossiper. Nearly every major star of the era revealed their deepest secrets to Barrett, and if they didn’t she sure created secrets. She had many fans, and enemies. Barrett made an enemyt of Frank Sinatra by criticizing his personal life, particularly his relationships with his children.

 So who is this wild and wacky woman who could do this? A gossiper! And guess what folks, we ate it up; in fact, we gobbled it up. We couldn’t get enough. People like Rona ate it up too. What she wouldn’t do to give the public something to talk about. She sent spies to get shots of Elvis and Priscilla kissing and sunbathing on his private property right after they were married.

 Why, she even picked on poor Frankie Avalon. He was a good guy, but Rona revealed that Avalon fathered a girl, born in December 1960, by a fan. She let the world know and truthfully it wasn’t even our business, but she was in the business of making it our business. In fact, to make it more of our business, Rona also produced prime-time specials, where she tried to make celebrities more down to earth and human by interviewing them in cozy settings. Oh now who does that sound like? Barbara Walters perhaps?

 Yes indeed, some things never change over the years no matter how much time has gone by. Good wine and good gossip. We have had Hedda Hopper, Louella Parsons, Rona Barrett, and now Barbara Walters. One will have to wonder who will be the next great American gossiper.