As 2010 gets closer I am seeing more magazines that have the best and worst of—fill in the blank. The best movie, the worst song, the best fashion and the worst fads were some of the headlines in the “end of the year can’t miss” issues of some of these magazines. I had to giggle at some of the worst fads. Why was it that so many worst fads had Paris Hilton’s name on it? Hmmmmm. Looking at some of the worst fads got me thinking….

I call it retronomics. You know the fads that have and have not made it in the past and the money that was generated from some of the silliest stuff. Some of these fads were downright ridiculous, yet people brought into it hook sink and line.

Take the Sea Monkeys which were first marketed in 1957 by Harold von Braunhut. They were nothing more than Brine shrimp that came to life within a few hours of being dumped into water. People loved these so much that they still sell these dehydrated brine shrimp and accessories even today.

A fad that I have to admit I participated once in was the platform shoes. Although they first arrived in the late 1960′s, these high-heeled shoes were more popular in the 1970′s during the disco period. These skyscraper shoes had people buying their pants a few inches longer. I felt this was one of the silliest and dangerous fads we had. Of course we had to have a silly fad because these platform shoes went with Disco music.

Disco music was a fad that could not go away fast enough for me. Disco was the most annoying type of music I could possibly imagine. This “music” was about style over substance. It lacked any sort of talent really and was basically music made for roller rinks & clubs.

 The mood ring, which was a hollow glass bubble filled with thermotropic liquid crystal was marketed to alert you to what mood you might be in. We needed that just in case we did not know what kind of mood we were in. The mood ring reminded us if we were stressed, relaxed or happy. It let us know if we felt angry or even sexy. This ugly piece of jewelry was very popular in the 70’s. I guess it went well with the parachute pants and platforms.

The smiley face graphic was popularized in the early 1970s by a pair of brothers, Murray and Bernard Spain who used a smiley face to produce millions of millions of dollars. I am sure these two brothers had a very happy day when their paychecks came around.  Speaking of a good paycheck, leave it to advertising executive, Gary Dahl to put a rock in a box and call it a pet rock. He made a lot of money in less than a year when the fad left as quickly as it came

Finally the popper knockers or clackers as some called them were really a fad gone bad and caused injury as well. There were basically 2 balls made of hard acrylic plastic attached to a string and you clacked them together. They not only made noise, they caused injury. I was always bruised by my clackers. My wrist was black and blue often from this obnoxious toy. In fact, Clackers were eventually discontinued after some children were injured while playing with them.

These were some of the bad fads of our time. I’m still not sure if they are as bad as some of the fads we have had for the past few years which include boys who wear their pants so we can see their crack (it puts a new meaning into the word crack!). Another fad that is cruel to animals is carrying little dogs seeds (miniature dogs) in little containers (dog purses) against the poor dogs will. And perhaps the worst fad this year, is Jon and Kate…please I will take dried up shrimp brine any day and call it sea monkeys.

I headed out on some errands this morning, and I curiously looked down all the side streets, hoping to find some children playing with their new toys they got for Christmas. But I had forgotten—children don’t go outside to play very often anymore. They are stranded inside their houses with their video games and hand-helds, getting no sunshine or fresh air, and this got me thinking….

In the 60s, my family lived on a 40-acre ranch and outside of having a 40-acre backyard to play in, I was also given gifts for Christmas that encouraged me to go out and play. I was a tomboy, so it seemed like every year my mother gave me a plastic tent to pitch in the backyard. They did not last forever and in the 60s those tents cost about .99 cents, but they were fun and went well my walkie talkies.

My sister was far from a tomboy, so she was not going to play army or fort with me. She would spend time in her room after Christmas with her latest albums or fashions. She was beautiful and should have been a model. But me, I was outside, normally with my cousin Tom, playing with all my toys I got for Christmas. I loved getting skateboards, scooters, skates, slingshots and pellet guns. All were great fun for this pony-tailed kid.

One year, my mom gave me a Give-a-Show projector, and I would watch these silly slides of Johnny Quest either on my wall, or take it outside to my tent and show the slides on the side of the tent. It was actually hours of fun. I never got bored because there were so many slides like Woody Woodpecker, Bugs Bunny, Yogi Bear, Mighty Mouse, and Rocky and Bullwinkle. My cousin and I would spend hours making up the dialog. To us, it was magical.

Hot Wheels sure made the grade for this tomboy; I would set up my groovy orange tracks outside and play for hours. Somewhere I think I still have a few cars and tracks. Hot Potato was another game my mom got me to play with. Generally we had to play that game outside because I would get a little dramatic and throw it so hard.

Once I a pogo stick. I had to play with that outside. It was not even allowed in the house; neither was my unicycle. Though I admit she would let us play Toss Across in the house as long as we did not go overboard and toss the bean bags too hard.

Other crowd pleasers were dart boards, lawn darts, and my favorite as a kid, croquet. Sometimes we could get the whole family out playing, sometimes just me my mom, or me and my dad, but I loved to play croquet. My father would set up a great course as we certainly had room in our yard to play that game.

I get sad that I do not see children play much anymore. Not a lot of kids play with their toys in the streets or their yards. Those days are long gone. I did however see a lot of kids out about not watching what they were doing as they walked through the grocery stores, playing their hand-held games. I suppose it is good to know parents just let them zone off into video games instead of being present in everyday life. This may get me thinking for an article about how in my day ADHD did not really exist.

Well, what did you do when you were a child after Christmas?

What ever happened the old retro Christmases? You know when this time of year was happening and groovy and it was about making love and peace and not showing your love through your pocket book.  I call it a retro Christmas it appears that is all in the past anymore. But once upon a time Santa was groovy and Christmas used to be about peace and love, and it got me thinking….

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a gadget was stirring, not even a keyboard or mouse
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care
In hopes that peace on earth would soon be there

The children were tired and quiet and tame
Because they actually did something besides play a video game
And mom and dad were sitting at last
Thinking of a retro Christmas past

When out in the yard arose some noise
It was an old friend come to show off her new toys
She walked up to my door with bags in hand
And a plastic guitar and a copy of rock band

Stop I said do not bring that inside
Unless it is a lava lamp or something tie dyed
Leave that crap in your car
Come in and listen to Christmas carols on zitar

We sat and looked at our out-of-site tree
Recalling old holidays at Berkeley
The house was decorated it was certainly a site
With love beads and things that glowed with a black light.

When all of a sudden we hear this dude
Saying some names that sounded skewed
Dig it Dasher! Right on Dancer! Groovy Prancer and Vixen!
Far-out Comet! I’m hip Cupid, Donner and Blitzen!

As he landed upon our roof top he gave us a grin
And asked permission to come on in
He sat on the couch and surprisingly said
Hey man do you have any Grateful dead

He was dressed all in flannel from his head to his toe
His eyes were bright and all aglow
He pulled a box from his big red sack
And said “let’s bring peace back.”

He opened the box with a big old grin
And said we have to let peace back in
Inside there was a big golden peace sign
With a chain that looked so divine

He placed the symbol round my neck
Saying this world is such a wreck
Pass the peace and pass it fast
Or Christmas will be a thing of the past

He sprang to his sleigh and said goodbye
And left us all some cool tie dye
I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight
“Peace on earth, and to all a far-out-night!”

 Merry peace on earth to you all…