Retroflections

As 2010 gets closer I am seeing more magazines that have the best and worst of—fill in the blank. The best movie, the worst song, the best fashion and the worst fads were some of the headlines in the “end of the year can’t miss” issues of some of these magazines. I had to giggle at some of the worst fads. Why was it that so many worst fads had Paris Hilton’s name on it? Hmmmmm. Looking at some of the worst fads got me thinking….

I call it retronomics. You know the fads that have and have not made it in the past and the money that was generated from some of the silliest stuff. Some of these fads were downright ridiculous, yet people brought into it hook sink and line.

Take the Sea Monkeys which were first marketed in 1957 by Harold von Braunhut. They were nothing more than Brine shrimp that came to life within a few hours of being dumped into water. People loved these so much that they still sell these dehydrated brine shrimp and accessories even today.

A fad that I have to admit I participated once in was the platform shoes. Although they first arrived in the late 1960’s, these high-heeled shoes were more popular in the 1970’s during the disco period. These skyscraper shoes had people buying their pants a few inches longer. I felt this was one of the silliest and dangerous fads we had. Of course we had to have a silly fad because these platform shoes went with Disco music.

Disco music was a fad that could not go away fast enough for me. Disco was the most annoying type of music I could possibly imagine. This “music” was about style over substance. It lacked any sort of talent really and was basically music made for roller rinks & clubs.

 The mood ring, which was a hollow glass bubble filled with thermotropic liquid crystal was marketed to alert you to what mood you might be in. We needed that just in case we did not know what kind of mood we were in. The mood ring reminded us if we were stressed, relaxed or happy. It let us know if we felt angry or even sexy. This ugly piece of jewelry was very popular in the 70’s. I guess it went well with the parachute pants and platforms.

The smiley face graphic was popularized in the early 1970s by a pair of brothers, Murray and Bernard Spain who used a smiley face to produce millions of millions of dollars. I am sure these two brothers had a very happy day when their paychecks came around.  Speaking of a good paycheck, leave it to advertising executive, Gary Dahl to put a rock in a box and call it a pet rock. He made a lot of money in less than a year when the fad left as quickly as it came

Finally the popper knockers or clackers as some called them were really a fad gone bad and caused injury as well. There were basically 2 balls made of hard acrylic plastic attached to a string and you clacked them together. They not only made noise, they caused injury. I was always bruised by my clackers. My wrist was black and blue often from this obnoxious toy. In fact, Clackers were eventually discontinued after some children were injured while playing with them.

These were some of the bad fads of our time. I’m still not sure if they are as bad as some of the fads we have had for the past few years which include boys who wear their pants so we can see their crack (it puts a new meaning into the word crack!). Another fad that is cruel to animals is carrying little dogs seeds (miniature dogs) in little containers (dog purses) against the poor dogs will. And perhaps the worst fad this year, is Jon and Kate…please I will take dried up shrimp brine any day and call it sea monkeys.

I headed out on some errands this morning, and I curiously looked down all the side streets, hoping to find some children playing with their new toys they got for Christmas. But I had forgotten—children don’t go outside to play very often anymore. They are stranded inside their houses with their video games and hand-helds, getting no sunshine or fresh air, and this got me thinking….

In the 60s, my family lived on a 40-acre ranch and outside of having a 40-acre backyard to play in, I was also given gifts for Christmas that encouraged me to go out and play. I was a tomboy, so it seemed like every year my mother gave me a plastic tent to pitch in the backyard. They did not last forever and in the 60s those tents cost about .99 cents, but they were fun and went well my walkie talkies.

My sister was far from a tomboy, so she was not going to play army or fort with me. She would spend time in her room after Christmas with her latest albums or fashions. She was beautiful and should have been a model. But me, I was outside, normally with my cousin Tom, playing with all my toys I got for Christmas. I loved getting skateboards, scooters, skates, slingshots and pellet guns. All were great fun for this pony-tailed kid.

One year, my mom gave me a Give-a-Show projector, and I would watch these silly slides of Johnny Quest either on my wall, or take it outside to my tent and show the slides on the side of the tent. It was actually hours of fun. I never got bored because there were so many slides like Woody Woodpecker, Bugs Bunny, Yogi Bear, Mighty Mouse, and Rocky and Bullwinkle. My cousin and I would spend hours making up the dialog. To us, it was magical.

Hot Wheels sure made the grade for this tomboy; I would set up my groovy orange tracks outside and play for hours. Somewhere I think I still have a few cars and tracks. Hot Potato was another game my mom got me to play with. Generally we had to play that game outside because I would get a little dramatic and throw it so hard.

Once I a pogo stick. I had to play with that outside. It was not even allowed in the house; neither was my unicycle. Though I admit she would let us play Toss Across in the house as long as we did not go overboard and toss the bean bags too hard.

Other crowd pleasers were dart boards, lawn darts, and my favorite as a kid, croquet. Sometimes we could get the whole family out playing, sometimes just me my mom, or me and my dad, but I loved to play croquet. My father would set up a great course as we certainly had room in our yard to play that game.

I get sad that I do not see children play much anymore. Not a lot of kids play with their toys in the streets or their yards. Those days are long gone. I did however see a lot of kids out about not watching what they were doing as they walked through the grocery stores, playing their hand-held games. I suppose it is good to know parents just let them zone off into video games instead of being present in everyday life. This may get me thinking for an article about how in my day ADHD did not really exist.

Well, what did you do when you were a child after Christmas?

What ever happened the old retro Christmases? You know when this time of year was happening and groovy and it was about making love and peace and not showing your love through your pocket book.  I call it a retro Christmas it appears that is all in the past anymore. But once upon a time Santa was groovy and Christmas used to be about peace and love, and it got me thinking….

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a gadget was stirring, not even a keyboard or mouse
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care
In hopes that peace on earth would soon be there

The children were tired and quiet and tame
Because they actually did something besides play a video game
And mom and dad were sitting at last
Thinking of a retro Christmas past

When out in the yard arose some noise
It was an old friend come to show off her new toys
She walked up to my door with bags in hand
And a plastic guitar and a copy of rock band

Stop I said do not bring that inside
Unless it is a lava lamp or something tie dyed
Leave that crap in your car
Come in and listen to Christmas carols on zitar

We sat and looked at our out-of-site tree
Recalling old holidays at Berkeley
The house was decorated it was certainly a site
With love beads and things that glowed with a black light.

When all of a sudden we hear this dude
Saying some names that sounded skewed
Dig it Dasher! Right on Dancer! Groovy Prancer and Vixen!
Far-out Comet! I’m hip Cupid, Donner and Blitzen!

As he landed upon our roof top he gave us a grin
And asked permission to come on in
He sat on the couch and surprisingly said
Hey man do you have any Grateful dead

He was dressed all in flannel from his head to his toe
His eyes were bright and all aglow
He pulled a box from his big red sack
And said “let’s bring peace back.”

He opened the box with a big old grin
And said we have to let peace back in
Inside there was a big golden peace sign
With a chain that looked so divine

He placed the symbol round my neck
Saying this world is such a wreck
Pass the peace and pass it fast
Or Christmas will be a thing of the past

He sprang to his sleigh and said goodbye
And left us all some cool tie dye
I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight
“Peace on earth, and to all a far-out-night!”

 Merry peace on earth to you all…

I was at Reid Park Zoo last night with friends looking at the festival of lights. I am a member of the Zoo and have always been a real zoo-head. I live near the zoo and often go to the zoo just to walk. As I strolled the zoo last night with the crowds of eager children and families trying to take in all of the lit up eye candy, my memories wandered and got me thinking….

The zoo, which was originally called Randolph Zoo, opened in 1967, and I was 9 years old and fascinated that there was a zoo in our town. After all, rattlesnakes, ground squirrels, and rabbits could only make a 9-year-old happy for so long. I needed things like lions, and tigers, and bears. I could hardly wait for my mother to take me to the zoo. She very rarely took us, maybe once or twice a year. A kid like me required zoo time at least every other week!

The tigers and lions back then were in cages with concrete floors. They paced back and forth and we sat and stared at them. Who knew back then how cruel that was to animals, and indeed I have forgiven myself for participating in that act of cruelty to animals, still, it never stopped me from being fascinated by the zoo.

The zoo was so basic and simple back then, and when I look back, it was a place for some very fond memories. It was simply magical. I recall little machines that sold you peanuts and you could feed the animals. I loved feeding the monkeys peanuts, and I am sure they loved being fed peanuts as well. I do not recall when they took away the vending machines, but I think I was sad.

My favorite attraction back then, and still remains so, was the otters. I loved watching those little otters swim for what seems like forever or until they tucker out.

A lot has changed. No longer do the lions and panthers live on concrete floors. Though it is not the wild, their habitats have improved. More animals have arrived and there seems to be so much improvement. Some animals have come and gone, and some still remain the same. Things have clearly have changed a great deal; they have a new learning center. They now even serve alcohol at the zoo, at least at the festival of lights, people 21 and over can have hot chocolate and liquor.

So if you have not been to the zoo in a few decades come look at the changes for yourself. If you have been recently, keep going, the animals love the energy don’t you know. They are little show offs…and oh yeah please don’t feed the animals, unless of course, it is cookie-feeding time for the giraffes.

What do you remember about the zoo?

I had a complete computer crash this week. Basically lost everything and have to have the computer set to factory settings. I suppose one can say it really sucked, but instead I would like to say that it gave me time to reflect. I enjoy reflecting on most days. I tend to live my life in the now, but reflecting is a great opportunity to dip into that sweet cookie jar I call life and pull from it tasty tidbits of fond memories. Now that my computer is back up and I am writing again, I looked at a response to an article of someone asking me what an 8-track was, and it got me thinking….

 I was the queen of 8-track tapes. I loved the fact that I could put one of these bulky odd shaped tapes into a player, hit play and never have to worry about it. It was designed to loop over and over and over. So the “album” could play all day and you did not have to do anything but listen. I could play the Beatles or Grand funk and listen for hours and not have to worry about doing anything but

 The 8-track was very popular from about 1965 to the mid 70’s. It was an endless loop tape cartridge that was about 3 times the size of a cassette tape. The main focus on this awkward looking tape cartridge really was about endless loop technology. Of course what would we expect from Bill Lear? He was famous for his Learjet business. So in 1965 Bill said he developed a cartridge with eight tracks and with that he promised to lower the price of recorded tapes without any sacrifice in music quality.

 Alas dear Bill it was easier said then done. This was a “fad” that came and went quickly. There were many reasons for this. One, the tape itself was big and bulky. Not only was the tape big, the parts inside of them were cheaply made and they often broke or fell apart quickly. You needed a special player for it. An 8-track player and boy howdy there were a huge variety of them. They too were big and bulky.

 I think the biggest disadvantage of the 8-track player was that there was no fast forward or rewind. It just played tracks. If you didn’t like a song, you could switch the song, but you could not rewind. For some people like me who listened to music to learn how to play music that was important. Finally let’s face it, I had thousands of 8-tracks, but the music quality sucked.

 That’s right you 8-track fans you know and I know that the sound quality was awful. Still, the fact that it played like the ever-ready bunny was what made it all worth while. Well, that is until the cassette player came out with very high quality sound. For portable devices, I have to say nothing can compare to my I-pod, but growing up, we had no idea how awesome music would one day sound. So for many, the 8-tack did the job. I am not sure what I did with my thousands of 8-tracks, I suspect they are in 8-track heaven, and just as well…my ipod does it for me.

This weekend was my family Christmas gathering. It seems to take weeks to prepare for this mandatory gathering that involves my brother and sister and their offspring. In total there are about 20-22 people that come to this gathering.  Mind you, I come from your typical American dysfunctional family, it’s just that when you look up dysfunctional family in wikipedia my family is the example they use because we are simply that dysfunctional. So imagine a house full of this sort of dysfunction. Ah yes indeed it was what the holidays are made of.  However, in preparing for this holiday function, I began to thinking about Christmas when I was a child and it got me thinking….

 I was raised on a ranch. It was me and my sister for the first 12 years then my parents adopted my brother. By then we were older and Christmas didn’t matter much to us. So my childhood memories of Christmas are mainly of me and my sister. Once upon a time, we both believed in Christmas and Santa. My mother who is a dollar store queen made sure us kids had tons of stuff to unwrap. Back then we did not have dollar stores but she sure could get a lot at the dime stores. She would get us lots of silly little gifts that would end up broken within the first five minutes of playing with it, but it was sure fun to unwrap all those presents.

 My mother used to wrap those dime store gifts and then knock on the front door and run to the back door so we did not see her. My sister and I would open the door to see tons of gifts. My mother would act surprised and say ”Oh look Santa’s elf’s dropped off your gifts so he only has to deliver one on Christmas Eve.” My sister and I bought it hook sink and line. We loved to get the gifts under the tree early because it was just what our special tree needed. Our tree was special because we had an aluminum Christmas tree.

 The aluminum Christmas tree was a type of artificial tree that was popular in the United States from 1958 until about the late 60s. The tree was made of aluminum and had foil needles that illuminated via a rotating color wheel. The trees were first manufactured by a Chicago company called Modern Coatings between 1959 and 1969. In fact most of these aluminum Christmas trees were made in Wisconsin by the Aluminum Specialty Company and in a decade they produced more than one million aluminum trees.

My sister and I would spend the night trying to guess what our presents were. We would then stare at the ceiling as the wheel turned green, red, blue and yellow. We would look at all the shadows and the lights and daydream out loud. It is hard to believe today in our lives that what bonded my sister and I as children was a foil tree with a rotating light.

I still love looking at the aluminum trees for nothing more than the memories that it brings to me. For me, Christmas is a great time to reflect of the magic it offered and the aluminum tree was about as magical as Santa. One of these days I am going to track down an aluminum tree and set it up and turn all the lights off except that rotating color wheel, and reflect once again of how enchanting these little trees really were.

So did you have an aluminum Christmas tree? What is your memory?

I was driving around the other day running some errands. Now that is something you do not want to do in December. Be out period! I find I always have to add an extra 15-20 minutes to get from here to there due to the holiday traffic. I passed by a few malls throughout my errands and looked at the parking lots and the barrage of traffic, eagerly, and at times, rudely, heading to the mall to spread holiday cheer and this got me thinking….

 It is true that once upon a time I used to actually go shopping for Christmas gifts. I participated in the give the store all your money ritual. I was a kid, I did not know any better. As a young child living in Tucson, I did not have the Tucson Mall or Foothills Mall. Actually back in the day El Con Mall was all that and more. It was a great place to Christmas shop. It was all we needed.

 The El Con Mall had it all. For a kid like me with 40 bucks in my pocket and a Christmas-gift list, El Con was where I headed. Montgomery Ward, Skaggs, Woolworth’s, Levy’s, Goldwater’s, J. C. Penney, toys stores, shoe stores, food, and of course Farrell’s Ice Cream Parlor. I was set.

 I could get my dad a tie at Wards for about three bucks and my mom a nice shirt for about five. My sister would get a poster, probably of Davy Jones, and maybe even yet another pet rock. Albums back then cost about $3.99; I could get my cousin an album, and Skaggs had 99-cent 8-tracks, so I could buy a few of those for my friends as well as pick up a few greeting cards and wrapping paper.

 Back in the late 60s and early 70s, El Con Mall was truly the one-stop-shopping place. It wasn’t filled with coffee shops and fashion facades. It had your basic five-and-dime shops, a good, old-fashioned drug store, and a couple of nice department stores. It was all a kid needed.

 Today I can not make heads or tails out of the bigger malls. Half the stores sell stuff that I could not imagine wearing. It seems like many of the stores contain an assortment of junk, do-dads, and this-and-that’s. So driving by the Tucson Mall today, and watching people hustle in and out of the parking lots, I felt bad for them; many of them will never know what a real mall was like and how a kid could drop 40 bucks, complete their shopping and sit down and have the world’s greatest ice-cream.

I was watching the morning news this morning while sucking down my protein shake. Normally I am writing a story for a different publication at this Godly hour but I wanted to catch the weather forecast as it seems to be the top news today. I found it odd that our newscaster said “blizzard warning” in certain parts of Arizona. I caught myself laughing a tad and it got me thinking….

 When I was a small kid, I would see it on TV. This weird thing called snow. Apparently it was flaky and cold and caused cars to collide in to one another, still. You could take a thing called a sleigh and apparently ride down hills. You could also make a thing called snow angels by laying down in the white cold powdery substance and spreading your arms and legs back and fourth.

 As a child I sure would wait for this white fluffy stuff to fall and I could play in it. I was fascinated by snow. Maybe it was because I was born in Tucson in 1958, the year that Tucson received 6.4 inches of snow during an unusual snow event in the desert southwest. Maybe as my mother passed that pleasure and information to me while I was still in the womb. What I know is I loved something dearly that Tucson had very little of, SNOW!

my house in 1966

 I have pictures of me as a young toddler in Mt Lemmon in some sort of bizarre snow suit playing in the snow. You could see even at the age of two or three, snow and I went hand in hand. There was always a smile on my face in all those pictures. For Tucson getting so little snow, there are a series of pictures of me growing up in the snow.

 As I got into school, me and some of my playmates used to get together and focus on snow in hopes that it would snow and schools would close. Yes indeed, as a kid growing up, if it snowed for more than 15 minutes it seemed like schools would closed. We crazy Tucsonans do not know what to do with this white fluffy stuff. Clearly we do not know how to drive in it, so why should we go to school in it!?

 As a kid I did not understand weather, all I knew was each night I would hope it got cold enough to snow. I felt disappointed each day I looked out the window and there was no snow. One year I believe I was in 4^th grade my parents asked me what I wanted for Christmas, I simply said snow. I am surprised my parents did not tell me then and there that they were Santa. Instead they said, “We’ll let Santa know.” I remember that because that Christmas it was sunny and rather warm and I asked my parents if they told Santa, and my mother said, “Oh dear I forgot.” I was able to forgive Santa that way.

 I did love it when school closed on snow days. It happened perhaps 3 or 4 times through out my 12 years of school. I figured I would outgrow this fascination with snow, however I am over 50 now and that fascination still stays with me. When it snowed in 2007, I had video cameras and cameras and I was driving and video taping at the same time. I simply had to record the snow. I do so every time it snows.

 I, like that child was disappointed this morning when I awoke to just a wet sidewalk and my backyard a little damp. Parts of Arizona have a blizzard warning and I have a slightly damp backyard. Don’t get me wrong, I do not want snow everyday like in Main or Michigan. No thanks! But snow a few times a year just for a few hours would be nice. There is nothing like our beautiful cactus covered in snow.

A young Clapton

Last night I decided to go 92.9 The Mountain radio station’s CD release party at La Encantada (I call it la-spend-a-lot-a). Free music and five bucks for the CD, why not? They had a band called Parachute playing; I figured it could be some cheap fun. As I stood there in the freezing cold with fake snow falling on me in a crowd of people who, like me, were cold and restless, I got to thinking….

 I am almost 52 years old. What am I doing in this crowd with tons of valley girls and plastic boys wearing the latest fashions and texting each other despite the fact they were standing right next to one other? It seems like the younger generation has lost their ability to use their voice. Sure there were older people like myself there and sometimes we would catch each other’s eyes and smile.

An aged Clapton

 When the band Parachute was finally introduced, most people were cold and tired and had been standing for way over an hour waiting. We had endured fake snow, cold, crowding, and a barrage of announcements, but we all were ready to listen to the music. I squinted as they took the stage. They sure did look young. After their first song, I had to giggle as they talked about being each other’s BFFs in high school (best friends forever) and, for a moment, I thought I saw peach fuzz on the lead singer’s face.

 I looked at my spouse and said they look very young probably 22 or 23. This got me thinking, why did they seem so young? It did not make sense to me after all, Eric Clapton was 17 when he first toured with bands and made it big in the music field. He must have become God by the time he was 19.  

Steve Winwood was only 17 when he joined the Spencer Davis Group. That was fairly young as well. At the age of 15, Paul McCartney met John Lennon and joined The Quarrymen. At the young age of 14 Jimmy Page appeared on TV’s Search for Stars talent show, and Van Morrison was 17 when he started to tour and record.

 So why did the boys in Parachute look so young to me? Could it be back then Clapton donned a beard and long hair? Was it possible that in the 50s and 60s men’s hormones were different and they grew thick beards rather than peach fuzz? Did too many energy drinks and video games affect men’s ability to look older?

 I got frightened. Could be a possible that all the chemicals and preservatives that people ingest have side effects and preserves them? Then it dawned on me, when I was watching people like Eric Clapton, Jimmy Page, Steve Winwood, and my other idols, I was a kid. They might have been 17, 18, or 19 years old, but I was a young girl and they looked older to me.

An Aging Jimmy Page

They were giants in their music. There was so much talent in many of these people that they had musical wisdom. They did not talk about BBFs and video games. No the idols of yesteryear focused on sex, drugs, and rock and roll. After all, once upon a time, wasn’t that what music was all about?

I left the concert early. I suspect it was my age. My feet were hurting from standing so long in the cold, and I wanted to beat the traffic. As a young kid, who cared about traffic, but as an aging adult, in an over-priced mall, in the middle of holiday shopping, I CARED!

 I left with some knowledge that money could not buy. I had a better understanding about age. That the young kids of today stay young. They do not have a hard life. They can live on texting and energy drinks, and BBFs and video games. The youth of today are not like the youth of yesterday. Today’s young people one simply plugs them in.

 For some of the teens that were there, I have no doubt the young men from Parachute looked older and wiser and did not appear young at all. To them, they are musical giants. My musical giants, Clapton, Bono, Page, Morrison, are, for the most part, now greyer than me. They have all earned their grey hair! I still think they rock better than any of the newer musical talents, but perhaps maybe my ears have aged too, who knows.

I was talking with someone today, and we started chatting about mothers and the holidays. (It is something that sends people to therapy don’t you know!) As we were finishing out our conversation, I realized that if I just did a story on TV dads, I really should do one on TV moms and this got me thinking…. 

TV moms are much harder to come up with actually. I mean, yeah, I could do June Cleaver, Harriet Nelson, and Margaret Anderson. They all dressed impeccably in heels and pearls while tending to their home, their children, and their always hard-working husbands. These mild-mannered women were like Chatty Cathy dolls, pull their strings, and they would do as they were told. They were emotionally celibate. They were plastic and never yearned for much of anything. To me, that doesn’t make a good TV mom, not at all. 

So who were some of the good TV moms of our past that did not fall under the stereotypical category of housewife? One of the first ones that came to mind was not necessarily a mom but a TV granny. Granny, whose TV name was really Daisy Moses from the Beverly Hillbillies, was a fragile, little spitfire, a mother, a doctor, grandmother, moonshine maker, a drunk, and a neurotic, but gosh darn it, she made sure her grandkids were fed and that Elly May would find herself a man. 

Laura Petrie from the Dick Van Dyke Show was a pleasant and feminine mom that seemed to always incur mishaps that we all could relate to such as becoming nervous around in-laws, wanting to spice up a marriage, fighting with neighbors, and disciplining children. She did a great job putting up with Rob and his sidekicks all the while being a good mom who was present for her son. 

Samantha Stevens was a witch. Not only did Samantha have to take care of her two children Tabitha and Adam, who were also witches, but she had an alcoholic husband named Darren who loved to drink, work, and golf and suffered from witchcraft PTSD. She rarely used her witchcraft to raise her children and made sure they did not misuse their own magical powers. 

Looking towards more modern times, Shirley Partridge was the mom of all moms to have. Not only could she discipline all her children fairly and keep them out of trouble, but she was also the lead singer in the family rock band, and drove a psychedelic school bus. She showed America that it was okay to be a divorced mom who could play out in clubs and rock and roll. She was one hip mom! 

Finally I would have to say Edith Bunker from All in the Family. Not only was she a good mom to her grown daughter and her daughter’s deadbeat husband, she had the patience of a lamb to deal with her racist husband Archie who in today’s world would probably be one of the fellows who just “ends up missing.” She was displayed as a “dumb woman” but, in all reality, her so-called stupidity ended up being a wisdom filled with wistfulness and humor. 

Honorable mentions must go to Elyse Keaton from Family Ties, Marion Cunningham from Happy Days, Kitty Foreman from That 70’s Show, Jill Taylor from Home Improvement, and Clair Huxtable from The Cosby Show.

Who was your favorite TV mom?