I was talking with a buddy the other day and we began to talk about some of the old times we shared growing up as teens and in our early 20’s and dating. It was always interesting where our young dates were going to take us to “wine and dine” us. It was fun to reminisce and sad to think that most of the places I was wined and dined at no longer exist, and this got me thinking…

My first real date was with a fellow named Ricky and he (and his parents) took me to a place called the Smugglers Inn right on Broadway. Back then, it was a nice place, and one could even call it “fine dinning.” I was pretty much taken by this. I had just turned 16 and was on my first official date and I thought the place was wonderful. Of course, it no longer exists and was torn down, but it carries my first real memories of dating.

 Another place I went to on dates was Bobby McGee’s. It was on Tanque Verde and was a cool place that a date could entertain me with great food and music. What I liked about this place was the staff wore costumes bearing the likeness to comic book, movie, TV, or well-known historic and contemporary personalities. It made your date rather unforgettable. Of course, it is no longer there.

 Come to think of it, neither is the Solarium which made for a very fun and “elegant” night.  This restaurant/nightclub had class. I recall really getting dressed up to go to this place. It was most beautiful. It was a wood and glass building that was layered into three levels. The food was good and I loved their seafood, and normally they booked great live bands. I often requested a date at the Solarium, well until it got a little too hip for me.

 I enjoyed eating and dancing at the Barons on Golf Links. Again, it was nice dining and good music. It really was the “in” place for a date, though I always felt it was a military hangout as well and way too many of the military boys would get drunk and ruin a good night. So we did not go there as often but they sure did have good bands.

 Another place that I went an a few dates was The Iron Mask, which I believe was on Grant Road.  It sort of looked like a castle and the waitresses dressed like old English maids. Their food was rather odd and had what I thought was an English flair to it. I enjoyed the atmosphere, and yep, that place is no longer there anymore

 One of my favorite Italian places which was the Spaghetti Company/Factory was located on Alvernon and 29^th and I loved eating there. Maybe it was their clam sauce or the spumoni ice cream, maybe it was just the simplicity of the place. No matter, I loved eating in the cable cars and being cared for with food and fun and you guessed it, this place is no longer there either.

 None of my favorite dating hangouts are here in Tucson any longer, may they rest in peace. I am left with a great deal of memories and a good taste in my mouth of what Tucson had to offer me in the 70’s as I dated. As I grow, I see Tucson evolve some changes good, some changes have been sad, but one thing I know, is that Tucson really has gone through a lot of changes…what were your dating hangouts that are no longer here with us?

I was talking to someone yesterday about the blog I wrote about fear and how fear seems to run our lives. I kept saying that we produce more fear now then we did in the 50s and 60s, but what I realized was we don’t produce more fear as much as we produce different fears for different era’s. It simply seems like each fear get’s more sophisticated. It got me thinking…

 We did not have a bomb shelter as a kid, but we did have those noisy alarms that went off every Saturday. They were like sirens and they went off like clock work. I was so glad when they finally dismantled those things. They were unnecessary and were tools used to keep people in fear of revenge of the atomic bomb!

 There were more than just sirens back in the days when Americans waited eagerly to be bombed and burnt to a crisp. In fact it was such great talk that the FCDA developed curricula for public schools and distributed brochures, films, and radio segments. Home-economics classes taught girls how to furnish bomb shelters. I am so glad America outgrew this tacky fad before I got into high school because there would have been no way I would have decorated a bomb shelter. You want a bomb shelter, decorate it yourself!

 It seems that the fallout shelters were quite fashionable and to keep up with the Smiths and Jones, good Americans would need to invest in a fall out shelter. Americans dropped millions even billions to make sure they could withstand what Hiroshima could not. In all, it was reported that 40 states had more than 60,000 family fallout shelters had been built or were under construction and by 1965as many as 200,000 had been built.

 Why bomb shelters were the talk of the town. That’s because by the time 1960 came along, nearly 70 percent of American adults believed that nuclear war was imminent. Looks like the government did a great job instilling fear in America and supplying work for many who were making money building bomb shelters.

 So what were these groovy little pads that had Americans pulling out their checkbook to get one? Usually it was a trench with a strong roof buried under three feet of earth. According to civil defense authorities, a concrete block basement shelter could be built as a do-it-yourself project for $150 to $200 at the time.

It was sad really. Most shelters built during the 1960s were not designed well and would not have saved the avergae family. If they dropped the bomb people would have been toast. The shelters were designed to appease people’s fears, but not really protect them.

I knew some people from my parents church who were always waiting for the end of the world to come and they had a cool bomb shelter. I always said if I lived at their house, their shelter would have been a great recording studio!

Well of course by the mid 1960s the fallout shelter fad was over. Some shelters became wine cellars while others became hang out, storage or where just forgotten. Today we have great reminders like Burt the turtle who taught Americans to duck and cover. If you need a great laugh today, see Burt the Turtle Duck and Cover.

The other day I was at Trader Joe’s getting my weekly supplies. I realized it was really hot and I wanted in, but I could not get in the door. As I looked closer at what was blocking the door, I saw a couple in their mid to late twenties standing with the cart in the doorway and they were using one of those sanitary hand cloths to wipe down their cart. They were so worried about germs that they did not care there were at least ten people waiting to get in to get their groceries and to get away from the heat. This got me thinking…

 In the 50s and 60s people did not block doorways because they were afraid of the germs that might be on their cart. Heck we all had coodie shots! We didn’t even have the wipes used to keep germs away from us. We just pinched each other and said “coodie shot!” I think this made us aware that we were happy, alive and well. Back then, people grabbed a grocery cart and did their shopping. They did not go home and drop dead, they went home and lived. People were not afraid to be alive and well in the 50s and 60s.

 Sure there was unrest in the 50s and 60s. There was segregation, talks of busing, the Viet Nam War, racial rioting in cities all across the country, the Cuban missile crisis and the assassination of a beloved president, his brother and an American black hero, however, we were not afraid to live and clearly we did not obsess on germs so much that we forgot how to be conscious.

 It seems like Americans have forgotten how to live. Back in the day, families only needed one car; there were plenty of jobs, we had a stable economy, the housing market was booming, the media wasn’t trying to manipulate people and kids played outside. People didn’t have to take medication like antidepressants because they had a bad hair day or were simply afraid to live life.

 Life was not complicated in the 50s and 60s. Most people had one TV with three stations, and one telephone. Kids actually listened and respected their parents. They did well in school. The schools were not putting them on Ritalin and antidepressants for simply playing and enjoying life. Kids actually liked school and teachers were allowed to teach and not just follow rules and prepare kids for AIMS. In fact, kids were safe. They were not being kidnapped; they did not belong to gangs and were not dealing drugs at the age of 10!

There are two kinds of fear in our lives; the natural kind that protects us from physical danger and the unnatural kind that exists only in our mind. It is the one in our mind that stops us from truly living our lives in complete. Fear is like a virus (like on a shopping cart) that causes havoc. It creates suspicion, mistrust, anger, hostility, aggression, anxiety and a host of other negative emotions. In fact, most of humanity’s problems stem from fear. It is important to remember that fear is a choice we make.

The fears we had in that 50s and 60s did not prevent us from living. Yes things have changed, but what changed are the very things we created. Today our fears control our lives. We live in fear. We use video games, cell phones, computers, TV with a zillion stations, and the preoccupation with what is going to happen next? What virus will I get? What will be the next flu? We have had the bird flu, a pig flu and mosquito bites that kill. But what’s new? The grocery cart flu? We have always had disease, it just seems like today we can focus more on it. Maybe it’s the media and the internet that allows us to spook ourselves. Maybe we are a nation addicted to fear and worry. Who knows? What I know is back in the 50s and 60s were just happier, and today it seems we are not happy unless we get what we want. A new cell phone, better computer, iPod that holds 8 million songs, better cable, more expensive cars, and then we have to work twice as hard so we can have twice as much stuff so we can worry twice as much so we can get twice as sick.

So what are you afraid of? I am afraid if we continue to be afraid, we will destroy everything. What do you think produced less fear the 50s and 60s or the current? Let me know…