This fun Odd Pueblo feature asks the audience to rate a trend, topic or sighting of something around town: is it snappy or crappy?

The last snappy or crappy, a groovy Volkswagen bus, was definitely cruising on snappy.

The latest snappy or crappy may not be so snappy for some: positive reinforcement graffiti.

This graffiti was snapped at Lakeside Park, right before I had to put the camera away to chase Sawyer and Phoebe out of the water.

Happy graffiti at Lakeside Park/Photo Ryn Gargulinski

While it’s not very artistic per se, it is kind of refreshing to see a positive message scrawled on cold concrete amidst debris.

Yes, graffiti is illegal and often very crappy. No, I did not paint this.

Some graffiti, like those really cool murals that once graced many New York City subway trains, can also be quite artistic.

Whee!/Ryn Gargulinski

We’re not talking swear words or illegible tags, but graffiti that actually enhances a structure or mood.

Positive reinforcement messages, which some of us chant or tape to our bathroom mirrors, can really change your attitude and outlook.

Does this graffiti do it for you?

What do you think?
Please vote and leave comments below.

Have you ever dabbled in graffiti?

What’s the coolest/stupidest graffiti you’ve ever done or seen?

Got kids? Bring them on down to Tucson.

Two cute Tucson kids/Ryn Gargulinski

Old Pueblo is the top place in Arizona for families to thrive, according to BusinessWeek’s annual “Best Places to Raise Your Kids” rankings.

Tucson hit Arizona’s top spot, with the runners up being Yuma and Casas Adobes.

We have a feeling the ranking committee has never been to Yuma.

We also have a feeling they may not have come to Tucson, either – or at least tried to get anywhere on a bus if they did.

“It’s (also) a relatively affordable place to live,” the report said of Tucson, “with more than 100 parks, a good public transportation system, and many public and private golf courses.”

Tucson school yards are counted as parks, by the way.

But the golf courses are important. We know how much kids love to golf away their Saturday mornings.

The ranking focused on towns that have a population of at least 45,000 and a median income of $40,000 to $125,000. BusinessWeek picked one top spot from each state, and two runners up, if applicable. Alaska’s Anchorage had no runners up.

Natural sandbox option/Ryn Gargulinski

Towns were then judged on their air quality; family income; job growth; theaters; diversity; household expenditures; crime rate; number of schools and their performance; museums and those school yard parks.

Based on those categories, it’s obvious why Tucson made the cut. Our air quality definitely beats out places like Los Angeles. We only get air quality warnings when there is a blinding, dusty wind or massive brush fires in the distance spewing ashes into our atmosphere.

Families usually make enough to live on – as long as they still have their jobs. But we are not sure why the job growth category didn’t kick us out of the mix altogether, as it seems Tucson jobs are shrinking.

The report mentioned University of Arizona as being one of the biggest employers, but it failed to mention the school’s hiring freezes.

For theaters, we got the Fox, The Loft and that cheapie place with $2 tickets at Grant and Swan roads.

Household expenditures often lack snow pants, furry boots and ski masks.

Pima Air and Space Museum probably got us hovering near the top in the museum category, and bless those school yards, as they helped us kick butt in the parks category. Tucson also has six dog parks, eight if you count the two in the county.

Not bad.

The rankings also left out some other reasons why Tucson is a great place to raise kids:

Bilingual studies. Children will automatically be immersed in the study of the Spanish language, hopefully learning key phrases, like “Your mother wears combat boots,” from their classmates.

Natural sandbox. Never mind those chintzy plastic backyard boxes, Tucson has a glorious sandbox created by God. Kids can find hours of pleasure in the dry riverbeds and washes, like the diapered child I once saw frolicking in the sands of the Rillito. All the rocks, glass shards, coyote feces and horse manure makes for some very interesting mud pies.

Less environmental dangers. Sure, we have prickly, eye-poking cactus and those pesky killer rattlesnakes, but there is absolutely no chance a kid will drown in the ocean or be swept out to sea. Few Tucson children are injured from slipping on ice or getting lost and buried in the snow.

Even though I am poking fun, I think Tucson can rock for anyone.

What do you think?

Is Tucson an awesome place to raise kids? Why or why not?

What about Yuma or Casas

What criteria would you use for ranking a place good for kids?

Where were you raised? Was it good for kids?

If you saw a crime in progress, would you simply shut the shades?

Photo Ryn Gargulinski

Such was the case with Catherine “Kitty” Genovese in 1964. The 28-year-old was murdered and raped near the doorway of her New York City apartment building while at least 37 folks heard her screams or saw the attack. Many simply closed their window shades. Only one woman bothered to call police.

That’s not the case on the University of Arizona campus, where a handful of folks are being honored in a Tuesday ceremony for their assistance to the UA Police Department, according to a news release from UAPD.

Some of the crimes – like shaking a vending machine to get free snacks – are nowhere near the murderous stage, but they are crimes nonetheless and these folks deserve kudos for doing more than simply walking away.

The honorees are:

Graffiti busters – Doug Archer, Frankie Kolb and Peter Smith:
This trio was working at the Lunar and Planetary Sciences when they noted folks spray painting the building and a nearby wall. They immediately called police and had enough information to lead to three arrests for vandalism.

Bicycle guardian – Justin Armer:
Armer was outside the Department of Aerospace and Mechanical Engineering building when he saw someone trying to break a bike lock with a hammer. Rather than simply go on his merry way, glad it wasn’t his own bicycle, Armer approached the would-be thief, who ran away without the bicycle. If that wasn’t enough, Armer followed the suspect and called police. An arrest followed.

Vending machine savior – Arun Ganesan:
Ganesan helped get several folks arrested when he called police after watching those folks shake a vending machine. Lots of free goodies had fallen from the shaken machine, but their snacking was cut short when Ganesan called police.

Thief trapper – Chiara Figueroa:
Figueroa had her laptop and several other items stolen on campus when she received an e-mail that she thought might be related to the theft. She tracked down the e-mailer and gave her info to police. UAPD followed up on her lead and found the person not only stole stuff from Figueroa but also stole from several other victims. Yes, another arrest.

Another graffiti buster – Jared Melillo:
Melillo, who lived near the new recreation center construction site, noted several taggers having a field day on one of the new buildings. He quickly called police, who were able to arrest one of the suspects.

Felony finder – Kurt Myers:
Myers was jogging around campus when he noted two people drinking alcohol behind the open door of a UA building that was not open to the public. He called police to report what may have been trespassing, but turned into a bigger catch. One of the suspects had a felony warrant out for arrest. Both were arrested, thanks to Myers taking a moment to report them.

Double duty dude – David De La Rosa:
De La Rosa helped with arrests in two separate crimes, one that involved a stolen kid and another that involved a suspected killer.
De La Rosa noted a car parked with a kid in the backseat, but no parent or guardian anywhere to be found. He reported the sighting to police, who found the car had been stolen – with the child still in it. Car and child were returned to their owner.
He also reported a panhandler near Student Union who kept approaching women. Police tracked down the panhandler and found the person hand a felony warrant for homicide. Goodbye, panhandler.

Suspicious suspect nabber – Miguel Perez:
Perez was working on campus when he saw a would-be thief playing around with a bicycle lock. He noted the person had been milling around earlier, as if scoping out the bike rack. His quick call to police led to an arrest.

Monocle man – Riley Schock:
Schock was out walking his dog when he found several monocles lying around his neighborhood. He took them home, where a friend recalled a news report about monocles being stolen from a UA building. Schock turned the monocles over the UAPD, returning stolen property that was valued at an estimated $10,000.

The Partners with Our Community awards will be presented at 11 a.m. Tuesday, Nov. 17 (today!) at the University of Arizona Police Department, 1852 E. First St.

What do you think?

Do you report crimes in progress or just go on your merry way?

Do you know any other heroes who helped authorities with reporting, identifying or researching criminal activity?

Kids certainly don’t always get along with their parents. But we hope the tension never turns ugly enough for the kids to haul off and kill them.

Kevin Black/submitted photo

Such was allegedly the case earlier this week when 50-year old Kevin Black reportedly shot and killed his stepfather, Kenneth Phipps, 76.

Mom was in the house at the time of the shooting, although she is bedridden and suffers from dementia, police said. Black’s half-sister, age 47, was also there; she’s the one who ran outside yelling for help.

Police said the fatal shooting came during an argument between stepfather and son about Black walking around the house wearing a gun belt. Black had also been on the police’s radar in the past for stealing things from his family to feed his drug habit.

Kids who kill off their parents or stepparents usually do so a tad earlier than the age of 50 – since the younger kids can’t just pick up and leave as an adult can – but no matter what the age, the outcome is just as tragic.

Some of the most recent statistics, which are already 20 years old, determined more than 300 parents were killed by their children each year between 1977 and 1986. That’s about 25 dead moms or pops each month. Compared to other murders, that’s also very rare.

Parent-killing children generally fall into three types, according to parricide expert Kathleen Heide.

Sidewalk art anonymous/Photo Ryn Gargulinski

We have the kids who were cruelly abused; those who are suffering from mental illness; and the most dangerous of the bunch – the uncaring and selfish children afflicted with an antisocial personality disorder. This disorder is marked with, among other things, a blatant disregard of pretty much everyone’s rights but their own.

Never mind the commandment about honoring thy father and mother, kids who murder their parents are already breaking an even bigger rule.

Lizzie Borden was perhaps the most notorious of suspected parent killers, although she was acquitted of the 1892 crime.

Tensions were high in the Borden household when Lizzie purportedly hacked her dad and stepmother to death with an axe, some say after poisoning them didn’t work. One theory is it had something to do with seizures she was having during her menstrual cycle.

The Menendez brothers, who were convicted of gunning down their parents in 1989, are also up there on the notoriety list. Although they were brought up in a mansion and both college students when the crime went down, there are claims their dad was too tough on them.

By all means, then, shoot him.

It was later learned the double murder may have been all about the money.

My current true crime read, Cold Kill, is in the midst of outlining another slain parents tale of woe in 1982.

Adult child Cindy Ray Campbell spun skeins of delusional lies about how horribly her parents had treated her growing up. She was chained to the toilet. She was repeatedly raped.

Her boyfriend David West believed the lies. He also believed he’d get half her inheritance if he helped out his gal. So she finally convinced him to blow them away as they slept.

While we may not know every detail in these crimes, like what the heck goes through a child’s head when he pulls the trigger or she wields that ax, we do know that society’s view of parricide has gotten softer.

What once was totally and horrendously unthinkable is now, well, perhaps in some cases nearly justifiable.

A case in point is Billie Joe Powell, 16, who reportedly shot and killed her dad after he had allegedly abused her. Her Ohio community banned together with petitions and support to attempt to get her tried as a juvenile rather than an adult so she’d get a more lenient sentence.

How nice of them.

The judge was nice about it, too, not sentencing Powell to any prison term. Her 1993 plea agreement had her pleading guilty to first-degree manslaughter in exchange for 88 days in jail, five years probation and four years of psychological counseling.

So does the abuse of a child condone the murder of a father? We have to wonder if anything is horrific enough for a kid to take his parent’s life, the same life that brought him into the world in the first place.

Ryn Gargulinski is a poet, artist, performer and TucsonCitizen.com Ryngmaster who wants to stay at the Lizzie Borden Bed and Breakfast in Fall River, Mass. It’s supposed to be haunted. Her column appears every Friday on Rynski’s Blogski. Her art, writing and more is at RynRules.com. E-mail rynski@tucsoncitizen.com.

What do you think?

Is there anything that would justify a child killing his or her parents?

Do you like Lizzie Borden?

Have you heard any other horror stories? Do tell.

Robbing a bank is a quick, easy way to make some cash – for about five minutes.

Surveillance photo from bank robbery/Ryn Gargulinski

Well, it may take a tad longer for the police to catch you. But they most likely will.

“We are very successful in catching bank robbers,” said Tucson police Sgt. Fabian Pacheco. “The majority of the time they are caught.”

After all, he added, police are handed handy photos of the folks from the surveillance cameras.

Bank employees may get a bit suspicious if a customer saunters in wearing pantyhose over his head, so most robbers have their faces in plain view.

Unless the robber immediately soaks his face in caustic acid to eat away the features, there’s a pretty good chance someone somewhere is going to recognize the thief.

Pacheco added it’s even easier if you know where to look, which is around drug circles, as many rob banks to feed a habit.

Tucson averages two to three bank robberies each month. Police stats for 2009 put bank robberies at 22; we had 40 in 2008, perhaps a bit increased due to the recession; and 2007 totaled out at 33.

Surveillance photo from bank robbery/submitted photo

Folks think it’s easy to get away with the money – because it is.

“Some of the banks procedures are to have employees comply with robber demands,” Pacheco said. “To get them out of the bank so no one gets hurt.”

A panic alarm gets police on the scene pretty quickly and the money, even if it is never recovered, is covered by the FDIC.

Some robbers make it even easier for the police. How nice.

One incredibly smart dude in Tucson robbed a bank by writing out his robbery demand note on the back of his own bank deposit slip. So cliché.

Another Tucson bank robber was a bit more original. He used regular paper to write out his demand note, which read: “Give me $100, $50, $20.”

So the teller handed him a single $100 bill, a single $50 and a single $20. He took them and left.

Surveillance photo of bank robbery/submitted photo

Other dumb bank robberies across the nation, as noted on DumbCriminals.com, include:

One man who spent 10 months in prison for robbing a bank, only to get out and go rob the exact same bank. Guess he wanted to see if he could get it right the second time around.

A robber who needed to hitch a ride as his getaway after robbing a bank – which is dumb enough on its own – ended up hitching a ride from an undercover cop.

A nervous Nellie thief who was frazzled enough to leave something at the scene – his wallet.

Police found a treasure trove of info inside the wallet, including the guy’s driver’s license, his Social Security card and a criminal registration card.

One more genius robber was noted on BankInfoSecurity.com. This robber was especially brilliant because of his day job – he was a rookie cop for the New York City Police Department.

At least the bank he robbed wasn’t in the Big Apple, but rather in Muhlenberg Township, Penn. Christian Torres threatened two tellers with his gun, which may have been police issued, until they handed over $113,000.

Surveillance photo /submitted photo

They also hit the panic button, so police were on the scene to arrest Torres just as he was pulling out of the parking lot.

The bank got their money back and Torres was suspended from the police force without pay.

Now we hope the suspension was only temporary until the investigation is complete and he gets his butt fired. Otherwise we have something even dumber than the botched robbery here.

—

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Ryn Gargulinski is a poet, artist, performer and TucsonCitizen.com Ryngmaster who thinks going to a light fixture store is more exciting than going to a bank. Her column appears every Friday on Rynski’s Blogski. Her art, writing and more is at RynRules.com. E-mail rynski@tucsoncitizen.com.

Have you ever tried to rob a bank? What happened?

If you were going to rob a bank, would you wear bright pink stretch pants?

Have you heard other stories of really dumb criminals?

We are an armed society. We have to be. There are too many goofballs out there.

A machete beside a dragon skull enhances any bedroom/Photo Ryn Gargulinski

One creative way to keep weapons at hand without feeling or looking like we live in an arsenal is to use weapons as home décor.

They can enhance the cozy feel of any abode – while serving a life-saving purpose.

Tucson police statistics from Jan. 1 through about the end of Sept. of this year contain a pretty hefty tally of crimes.

These include:

923 aggravated assaults
151 forcible rapes
14 attempted rapes
48 other sexual assaults

171 residential robberies
84 carjackings
43 “miscellaneous” robberies

3,258 burglaries with forced entries (that’s roughly 12 each day)
992 burglaries using no force to get in
23 attempted forcible entries

Please don’t take this as an invitation to live in fear – just live in awareness. And no, I’m not trying to depress you.

Please also know that most crimes are crimes of opportunity. So don’t offer any.

One of the most recent home invasions was on Sept. 13 when a guy attended a party in the 2800 block of North Tyndall Avenue, near East Glenn Street and North First Avenue.

He left the festivities only to return with three or four of his buddies – wearing masks and armed with handguns.

They proceeded to pistol whip and rob the guests. Have a nice day.

Suspect Manuel Nunley

Police issued an arrest warrant for the main suspect, 24-year-old Manuel De Jesus Nunley. He’s wanted for armed robbery, aggravated robbery, aggravated assault and first-degree burglary. Robbery is generally defined as taking something from a person, while burglary is taking things from a structure, such as a home.

Make sure that guy’s not any of your future invitation lists.

Now if the guests had been in a home with an interior design scheme that included an ornamental gun rack, machetes, sledgehammers and Medieval maces, the tale may have had a different ending.

Yes, some weapons can look creepy and ugly. But spruce them up by hanging them next to art. Better yet, hang art from them. Just make sure you attach the weapons in such a way they can be easily removed for use but are not hung too flimsily that they fall on your head.

Another clever tactic is to pick home décor that can double as weapons, such as a cast iron plate collection or candleholders that come complete with ornate, 10-inch iron spikes.

Just make sure you get to the weapons before any goofball does. Stuck for ideas? Check out the slide show with interior weaponry design ideas below.

Slide 1 of 12.
Medieval maces make for great wall hangings - and coversation pieces/Ryn Gargulinski
Slide 2 of 12.
Jazz up a sledgehammer by painting it bright pink/Ryn Gargulinski
Slide 3 of 12.
Choose candleholders with iron spikes/Ryn Gargulinski
Slide 4 of 12.
Sickles add pizzazz against a ceiling/Ryn Gargulinski
Slide 5 of 12.
Hay hooks are ideal in tight corner spaces/Ryn Gargulinski
Slide 6 of 12.
Brass knuckles near a doorway adds zip to any room/Ryn Gargulinski
Slide 7 of 12.
We had to include the dragon again, just because we like him/Ryn Gargulinski
Slide 8 of 12.
This artful piece would work well above a sink or bassinet/Ryn Gargulinski
Slide 9 of 12.
Retratable batons work well for those small spaces/Ryn Gargulinski
Slide 10 of 12.
Hay hooks make great foundations for hanging art/Ryn Gargulinski
Slide 11 of 12.
Outfit the den with a central painting surrouded by decorative weaponry/Ryn Gargulinski
Slide 12 of 12.
Any kitchen can be enhanced with such a wall theme/Ryn Gargulinski

What do you think?

What kind of weapons do you have in your home?

How do you protect yourself?

Have you ever been robbed, mugged, assaulted or burgled in Tucson?

How has that changed the way you live or view society?

Arizona has the fine distinction of being the weakest link along the Mexican border.

Photo Ryn Gargulinski

With agents like the two who were recently busted, it’s not hard to see why.

Two border employees were recently charged with accepting bribes to help drugs and illegal immigrants make their way from Mexico into the United States, according to news releases from the District of Arizona’s Office of the U.S. Attorney.

Former U.S. Border Patrol Agent Yamilkar Fierros, who was arrested Oct. 30, allegedly accepted bribes totaling $5,500 to help the drug trade thrive. A four-count federal indictment was unsealed the day he was arrested.

Fierros, from Tucson, reportedly accepted four separate bribes to give purported drug traffickers the following information and assistance:

* $1,000 for furnishing a law enforcement sensitive map of San Rafael Valley, which depicts road, trails, landmarks and terminology used by border patrol to track down drug traffickers on Sept. 30.

* $3,000 for giving out a list of 109 sensor location in and around Sonoita on Oct. 2

* $1,000 for handing over a list of yet more Sonoita sensor locations – 65 new ones – and

* $500 for agreeing to help sneak a load of narcotics from Patagonia to Tucson on Oct. 23

His $5,500 is a pretty paltry sum for a load of valuable information. The guy must not have been a business major.

On a scarier note, who knows how much farther all that information traveled. Maybe copies of the map and lists are hidden beneath rocks along the way.

Thanks, guy.

Photo Ryn Gargulinski

Another agent, a man from Yuma, recently pleaded guilty to accepting bribes to help smuggle illegal aliens into the country.

Former U.S. Customs and Border Protection Officer Jose Carmelo Magana was staffing a lane at the San Luis Port of Entry back in 2007 where he would reportedly not bother to perform proper inspections.

Ooops. Didn’t see that illegal hiding in the wheel well, sorry.

Magana admitted he was in cahoots with Brenda Covarrubias, Ana Bertha Calderon, Jesus Gastelum-Rodriguez, Guadalupe Milan de Gastelum, all of whom already pleaded guilty in this case to Conspiracy to Bring Illegal Aliens to the United States.

In addition to the bribe, Magana also said he got a portion of the smuggling fees charged by the smugglers.

We must thank this guy, too.

The maximum sentence for Attempting to Bring Illegal Aliens into the U.S. is 10 years in federal prison with a minimum mandatory penalty of three years in prison. It can also carry up to a $250,000 fine.

The bribery charges could cost each guy 15 years in the federal pen, a fine of $250,000, or both. Fierros faces four of those charges, which would make his maximum sentence, if convicted, 60 years and the maximum fine at $1 million. OK. But we have to wonder where he’d get the $1 million if he’s sitting around in prison.

Maybe he can rake in more bribe money.

What do you think?

Is there any bribe large enough that would propel you into illegal action?

How can such actions be better prevented in the future?

Have you heard other unscrupulous border stories? Do tell.

We sometimes like to blame our neighbors for all the woes of the world – from the lack of parking to the garbage that blows in our yard. And sometimes they deserve it.

Proof Sawyer is sweet and doesn't deserve to be attacked/Ryn Gargulinski

After all, it is my neighbors’ fault my arm still hurts.

Sawyer, Phoebe, my beau and I were returning from our evening riverbed dog romp. The dogs were leashed and sauntering nicely.

The narrow path back to the house is crammed between a ditch full of thorny trees and a solid brick wall.

We were on that crammed path when we encountered the neighbors and their two dogs, whom we shall call Dumbo and Bimbo.

Dumbo and Bimbo, who are no small puppies, have a long history of distaste for Sawyer and Phoebe. The feeling is mutual and the dogs like to lunge at each other when we pass across the street. Everyone is leashed and the end result is lots of noise but no injuries.

But this time Dumbo and Bimbo were not on their leashes. And I ended up getting bit.

We rounded the corner to find the neighbors and their horror hounds, with enough time for the neighbors to leash up Dumbo and Bimbo. But they didn’t. They just stood there and watched as Dumbo approached us, acting dumb enough to merit his nickname, and set off a growl fest.

Bimbo, whose head is the size of a basketball and jaws are as wide as Montana, soon joined the fray.

Proof Phoebe is sweet and doesn't deserve to be attacked/Ryn Gargulinski

Sawyer, Phoebe, my boyfriend and I had initially moved towards the brick wall to let the foursome pass. Now were cornered against it by Dumbo and Bimbo while their owners stood back in the distance. Please note the dog dad was no small puppy, either, and could have at least attempted to restrain at least one of the hounds.

Dumbo was trying to sneak up on Sawyer’s hind end while Bimbo was going for Sawyer’s throat. Sawyer and Phoebe were still leashed and couldn’t really maneuver.

Yet Sawyer still attempted to defend himself while big, bad, barking machine Phoebe hid.

My dog mom instinct kicked in and I did I really dumb thing.

I stuck my arm out to push Bimbo away and ended up with my arm clamped in a dog jaw.

Once Sawyer realized it was my arm in his mouth, he let go immediately. But not before a nice pain set in. The pain was accompanied by a fine red mark that was only later alleviated by a pouch of frozen vegetables.

Dumbo and Bimbo were eventually restrained and led away by the neighbors, who didn’t even bother to apologize.

And I’ll bet it’s their garbage that blew in my yard.

Eager for input – please take the poll.

Do you have inconsiderate neighbors? What’s the worse thing they’ve done?

Have you been accosted by their dogs, cats, blowing garbage or children?

Tucsonan Joe Gardner was on one of his favorite day trips to Lochiel, about 100 miles southeast of Tucson, where the air is clean and the land pristine – usually.

Except when he finds a dead duct taped coyote.

Duct taped coyote/submitted photo

During his trek about two weeks ago, the 62-year-old who grew up in the Lochiel area noted buzzards circling about and followed their feast to find a mutilated carcass.

The coyote was definitely dead, with a hole in his underside where something had chewed out his entrails. He had not been skinned, but the two front legs and two back legs had been secured with tape, leaving him defenseless, provided he had still been alive when taped.

“I was surprised and puzzled and wondered about mutilation stories I had heard in the past,” Gardner said, “but those involved livestock, not wild animals. I also wondered if it was some kind of sick message for human smugglers, who are also referred to as coyotes.”

He vaguely recalled stories of livestock’s organs and genitalia being removed with “precision-appearing incisions” some time back in Cochise County. Perhaps Jack the Ripper of the cattle world.

Yet he had never seen such abuse of coyotes.

Lochiel school house/submitted photo

“I have not an inkling as to who or why would bind a coyote and leave it out for the buzzards,” he said. “I was born and raised in the area, and as a matter of fact, this was right in front of the one room school I attended when I was a kid. I know just about everyone who lives in the area, and can’t imagine any locals doing this, as they live in the area because they love and respect the land.”

Nothing respectful about a duct taped coyote.

Arizona’s animal cruelty felony law, ARS 13-2910, slaps a felony on anyone that “intentionally, knowingly or recklessly inflicts unnecessary physical injury to any animal.”

Awesome law. But it may not apply in the case of the duct taped coyote.

“Law enforcement would have to successfully allege that it was cruelty,” explained Marsh Myers, spokesman for the Animal Cruelty Taskforce of Southern Arizona. “Since coyotes can be legally hunted, an investigation would have to rule this possibility out. Sometimes the animal is hunted and then the carcass is just left to rot. It’s a sloppy practice but it happens all the time.”

In that case, it’s OK.

Many hunters are respectful – even reverent – about nature and engage in the sport for much more than just the kill. But there are always the idiots.

In another coyote case earlier this year, six mutilated carcasses were found dumped in a creek near an Oklahoma high school.

The critters had been skinned, with their front legs chopped off at the knees and their remains unceremoniously hurled where teens could easily find them.

The animals were originally thought to be dogs and all hell broke loose. Necropsies revealed they had been a half dozen coyotes. Hell kind of subsided.

While Oklahoma, like Arizona, does have animal cruelty laws with severe penalties, it would probably not apply if the animals were being hunted for their fur.

Authorities in Ohio were going nuts in 2007 trying to find the sicko who apparently skinned and boiled a dog – while it was still alive.

The animal, identified by a vet as a chow/pit bull mix, was fully skinned except for fur left on its paws, had cuts on its legs and neck and had wire wound around one of the back legs.

Someone finally did come forward to confess – that the animal was not a dog at all but simply a coyote he hunted but didn’t dispose of properly.

Even though the vet had initially been wrong about the animal’s identification, calling it a dog, the doc was not wrong about the animal having been still alive when it was boiled and skinned.

No matter. It was just a coyote.

The case was immediately closed and all pending criminal charges promptly dropped.

__

Ryn Gargulinski is a poet, artist, performer and TucsonCitizen.com Ryngmaster who loves coyotes as much as she loves wolves but not as much as she loves her dogs. Her column appears every Friday on Rynski’s Blogski. Her art, writing and more is at RynRules.com. E-mail rynski@tucsoncitizen.com.

What do you think?

Is there a way to better enforce – or even prove – the animal cruelty felony law?

Can anything be done to better protect hunted wildlife from undue abuse?

Several folks – all men, for some reason – have commented or e-mailed that Monday’s editorial about cheating was lopsided because it did not mention women who cheat.

Photo and art Ryn Gargulinski

Allow me to even the playing field.

Actually, allow a man we shall call Nate to do it, as he agreed to let me share his poignant and harrowing story about his hellish marriage. It ended in 1997.

“I’m still gluing the pieces of my life back together,” said Nate, now 54.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, making his tale all too timely.

A cheating wife was on the list of things wrong with his six-year marriage, but it may not have been at the very top.

“Try waking up from a Sunday nap to see the sharpest knife in the kitchen poised above you, ready for the Aztec human sacrifice routine,” he said. She also abandoned him miles from home, in the dark, while he was on crutches and accused him of every wrongdoing in the book.

But let’s back up a bit. The two first met on the way to a college ski trip when he was reading a magazine and he heard this little voice behind him commenting on the article he was reading.

“She basically curled up into my lap and was there ever since,” he said.

They became great friends – and horrible spouses. Nate’s idea of marriage was based on examples from his own parents – “who were like Ozzie and Harriet” – and his ex’s parents – “who giggled like teenagers.”

“The idea of getting divorced felt like a personal failure, like I had done something wrong and it was all my fault.”

Within the first six months of the marriage, his ex was taken for psychiatric treatment twice. She was put on medication that actually worked – when she took it.

Art and photo Ryn Gargulinski

When she didn’t, it was a living hell.

“She thought nothing of beating on me,” Nate said. “Fortunately for me she was only 4’ 11” and couldn’t hit very hard.” He wouldn’t hit back.

“I may have slapped at her once,” he said, “but during all of this, I tried very hard to keep my temper. I spent a long time learning to control my temper. Besides, she was one of those people who bruised very easily – if I grabbed her wrist it would leave fingerprints. If she had any mark that was not self-inflicted, I would be the one in handcuffs.”

Instead, he was chained to his home while she was constantly out gallivanting, traveling out of state to visit friends, helping out with political campaigns, or otherwise off “God Knows Where,” coming home at all hours and offering no explanation.

“My ex demanded that I be at home and next to the telephone at all times when I wasn’t working or at school,” he said. “I was not allowed to have friends visit, nor was I allowed to go visit anyone else. If I had someone in, she’d stare lightning bolts at him until he left, and if I went out, she called wherever I was, repeatedly, until I came home.”

During the six years they were together, he went out a total of two times with a friend, another man, after work. “I came home to find her online, talking about me and my ‘gay lover,’” Nate said.

While all this may seem horrific enough, there were also financial woes.

Paying the bills was Nate’s sole responsibility, even though his ex worked. She was also heavily into “shopping therapy” and would start credit cards at a number of stores and then promptly forget about them. Bill collectors never forget.

“She ran up bills faster than I could pay them off – assuming I found out about them,” Nate said. “She had a mercurial temper and went into a pounding fury if I ‘butted into her private life’ by paying off bills, some of which were years overdue.”

The marriage finally ended after one of their many screaming fests when she nonchalantly announced she was leaving. And then did.

“The divorce? That was her idea, too. The bill collectors who were after her got her so worked up, she wanted to get away from everything. Including me, when my patience started wearing thin.”

One of Nate’s wishes is to erase the entire second half of 1997.

Photo Ryn Gargulinski

“I wound up getting divorced, evicted and forced to find a new home (and stuck with a very large credit card bill) all at the same time,” he said. “The sheriff’s department visited my apartment many times, that autumn; it was always a surprise to see who was serving which papers on me, for what reason, when I came home.”

He pointed out the most stressful things in a person’s life include death of a family member; divorce; moving; buying a new house and getting evicted. “I did everything but bury my father,” he said.

“Since nothing happens in a vacuum, my ex’s behavior affected other aspects of my life, as well. Let’s just say I was lucky to stay employed and out of the ‘major depression’ part of the psych ward.”

At least the two never had kids, another fact that angered his wife at the time. “I was not going to bring a defenseless screaming bundle of diaper into the marriage,” he said. “I’ve seen too many ‘insane mother drowns own children’ stories.”

Perhaps ironically, the only upshot of the whole relationship was the divorce proceedings. They were quick and fairly painless, at least comparatively, and a done deal in less than two hours in court.

Despite – or perhaps due to – all the grief, Nate has learned a few lessons.

“Don’t get stuck in a relationship where you figure you can’t get out,” he said. “I was so concerned with keeping the marriage going because I thought that was what marriages do. I took the marriage vow until parted by death. If things start to go sour, look for help to either straighten things out or to get out.”

And guys who are battered by their wives or girlfriends? “Try and keep your temper,” he advised, “but on the other hand, don’t put up with it.”

Fifty percent of the domestic violence situations involve battering by both parties, according to a 2007 Centers for Disease Control Study.

“Half of heterosexual domestic violence is reciprocal. Women initiated or committed at least half of both the reciprocal and non-reciprocal violence, while both sexes suffered significant injuries,” according to a news release from the National Coalition for Men.

What do you think?

Guys – have you been on the receiving end? Now is your time to speak out.