This fun Odd Pueblo feature asks the audience to rate a trend, topic or sighting of something around town: is it snappy or crappy?

The last snappy or crappy, a groovy Volkswagen bus, was definitely cruising on snappy.

The latest snappy or crappy may not be so snappy for some: positive reinforcement graffiti.

This graffiti was snapped at Lakeside Park, right before I had to put the camera away to chase Sawyer and Phoebe out of the water.

Happy graffiti at Lakeside Park/Photo Ryn Gargulinski

While it’s not very artistic per se, it is kind of refreshing to see a positive message scrawled on cold concrete amidst debris.

Yes, graffiti is illegal and often very crappy. No, I did not paint this.

Some graffiti, like those really cool murals that once graced many New York City subway trains, can also be quite artistic.

Whee!/Ryn Gargulinski

We’re not talking swear words or illegible tags, but graffiti that actually enhances a structure or mood.

Positive reinforcement messages, which some of us chant or tape to our bathroom mirrors, can really change your attitude and outlook.

Does this graffiti do it for you?

What do you think?
Please vote and leave comments below.

Have you ever dabbled in graffiti?

What’s the coolest/stupidest graffiti you’ve ever done or seen?

If boring old beer is no longer enough for you, advanced alcoholic products on the market now offer several different ways to get drunk.

Is he low-carbing it?/Ryn Gargulinski

Yes, beverage companies will definitely go out of their way to insure there’s a feasible way for everyone to get slammed, skewed, tipsy or torrentially wasted.

Wouldn’t want to miss those sales, now.

Folks who want to boost their buzz by drinking something that mixes alcohol with stimulants, like caffeine and guarana, can go for the alcohol energy drinks.

Think Red Bull meets Budweiser, perhaps.

But you better drink up quick. It finally came to someone’s attention that the combination of alcohol and stimulants may not be safe.

Really? But people have been popping uppers or snorting coke with alcohol for years. Only some of them die. What’s the harm with a little alcohol in an energy drink?

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) sent a Nov. 12 letter to 30 of these energy drink companies, giving them 30 days to prove that alcohol and caffeine do, indeed, safely mix.

Arizona Attorney General Terry Goddard, along with other AGs, sent a letter to the FDA some time back, asking the agency to look into this combination, according to a news release from his office.

How many calories would have been saved with LITE?/Ryn Gargulinski

“Scientists and medical professionals who have conducted research in this area stated that the use of caffeine and other stimulants as additives to alcoholic beverages poses public health and safety risks,” the release said.

“The scientists pointed to recent studies that confirm that caffeine appears to mask, but not reduce, the intoxicating effects of alcohol. Combining alcohol and caffeine may lead to increased risk-taking and other alcohol-related problems such as traffic accidents, violence, sexual assault and suicide.”

The release also noted the target audience for these alcohol energy drinks are the younger crowd, who habitually don’t think about things like risking their lives when they are trying to get blitzed.

If alcohol energy drinks are too risky for you – or you are watching your weight – you can always join the fray of “diet” beer drinkers.

For the health conscious, the big buzz has been low carb beers. This way you can make sure to maintain your six-pack abs as you slam a six pack of brews. Lite beers are old hat. We now need the low carb versions.

While companies at first labeled anything that was light as “low carb,” the U.S. Treasury Department Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Tax & Trade set standards about five years back, according to a report at BellaOnline.com.

Official “low carb” beers must have less than 7 grams of carbohydrates, but nothing stops other pale brews being labeled as “lower carb” or “reduced carb” – as long as they have lower carbs than their original brews.

We’re waiting for other advanced alcohol products, such as beer for pregnant or nursing mothers and beer especially brewed for athletes and bus drivers to enhance their performance on the job.

What do you think?

Are you going to try the alcohol energy drinks – or have you already – before they may get pulled off the market?

Do you think the FDA is being silly with its claims of the combo being unsafe?

Do you stick to your workout while drinking low carb brews?

Are alcohol companies getting ridiculous or do you think it’s smart for them to target different sectors of the population?

Robbing a bank is a quick, easy way to make some cash – for about five minutes.

Surveillance photo from bank robbery/Ryn Gargulinski

Well, it may take a tad longer for the police to catch you. But they most likely will.

“We are very successful in catching bank robbers,” said Tucson police Sgt. Fabian Pacheco. “The majority of the time they are caught.”

After all, he added, police are handed handy photos of the folks from the surveillance cameras.

Bank employees may get a bit suspicious if a customer saunters in wearing pantyhose over his head, so most robbers have their faces in plain view.

Unless the robber immediately soaks his face in caustic acid to eat away the features, there’s a pretty good chance someone somewhere is going to recognize the thief.

Pacheco added it’s even easier if you know where to look, which is around drug circles, as many rob banks to feed a habit.

Tucson averages two to three bank robberies each month. Police stats for 2009 put bank robberies at 22; we had 40 in 2008, perhaps a bit increased due to the recession; and 2007 totaled out at 33.

Surveillance photo from bank robbery/submitted photo

Folks think it’s easy to get away with the money – because it is.

“Some of the banks procedures are to have employees comply with robber demands,” Pacheco said. “To get them out of the bank so no one gets hurt.”

A panic alarm gets police on the scene pretty quickly and the money, even if it is never recovered, is covered by the FDIC.

Some robbers make it even easier for the police. How nice.

One incredibly smart dude in Tucson robbed a bank by writing out his robbery demand note on the back of his own bank deposit slip. So cliché.

Another Tucson bank robber was a bit more original. He used regular paper to write out his demand note, which read: “Give me $100, $50, $20.”

So the teller handed him a single $100 bill, a single $50 and a single $20. He took them and left.

Surveillance photo of bank robbery/submitted photo

Other dumb bank robberies across the nation, as noted on DumbCriminals.com, include:

One man who spent 10 months in prison for robbing a bank, only to get out and go rob the exact same bank. Guess he wanted to see if he could get it right the second time around.

A robber who needed to hitch a ride as his getaway after robbing a bank – which is dumb enough on its own – ended up hitching a ride from an undercover cop.

A nervous Nellie thief who was frazzled enough to leave something at the scene – his wallet.

Police found a treasure trove of info inside the wallet, including the guy’s driver’s license, his Social Security card and a criminal registration card.

One more genius robber was noted on BankInfoSecurity.com. This robber was especially brilliant because of his day job – he was a rookie cop for the New York City Police Department.

At least the bank he robbed wasn’t in the Big Apple, but rather in Muhlenberg Township, Penn. Christian Torres threatened two tellers with his gun, which may have been police issued, until they handed over $113,000.

Surveillance photo /submitted photo

They also hit the panic button, so police were on the scene to arrest Torres just as he was pulling out of the parking lot.

The bank got their money back and Torres was suspended from the police force without pay.

Now we hope the suspension was only temporary until the investigation is complete and he gets his butt fired. Otherwise we have something even dumber than the botched robbery here.

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Ryn Gargulinski is a poet, artist, performer and TucsonCitizen.com Ryngmaster who thinks going to a light fixture store is more exciting than going to a bank. Her column appears every Friday on Rynski’s Blogski. Her art, writing and more is at RynRules.com. E-mail rynski@tucsoncitizen.com.

Have you ever tried to rob a bank? What happened?

If you were going to rob a bank, would you wear bright pink stretch pants?

Have you heard other stories of really dumb criminals?

Arizona has the fine distinction of being the weakest link along the Mexican border.

Photo Ryn Gargulinski

With agents like the two who were recently busted, it’s not hard to see why.

Two border employees were recently charged with accepting bribes to help drugs and illegal immigrants make their way from Mexico into the United States, according to news releases from the District of Arizona’s Office of the U.S. Attorney.

Former U.S. Border Patrol Agent Yamilkar Fierros, who was arrested Oct. 30, allegedly accepted bribes totaling $5,500 to help the drug trade thrive. A four-count federal indictment was unsealed the day he was arrested.

Fierros, from Tucson, reportedly accepted four separate bribes to give purported drug traffickers the following information and assistance:

* $1,000 for furnishing a law enforcement sensitive map of San Rafael Valley, which depicts road, trails, landmarks and terminology used by border patrol to track down drug traffickers on Sept. 30.

* $3,000 for giving out a list of 109 sensor location in and around Sonoita on Oct. 2

* $1,000 for handing over a list of yet more Sonoita sensor locations – 65 new ones – and

* $500 for agreeing to help sneak a load of narcotics from Patagonia to Tucson on Oct. 23

His $5,500 is a pretty paltry sum for a load of valuable information. The guy must not have been a business major.

On a scarier note, who knows how much farther all that information traveled. Maybe copies of the map and lists are hidden beneath rocks along the way.

Thanks, guy.

Photo Ryn Gargulinski

Another agent, a man from Yuma, recently pleaded guilty to accepting bribes to help smuggle illegal aliens into the country.

Former U.S. Customs and Border Protection Officer Jose Carmelo Magana was staffing a lane at the San Luis Port of Entry back in 2007 where he would reportedly not bother to perform proper inspections.

Ooops. Didn’t see that illegal hiding in the wheel well, sorry.

Magana admitted he was in cahoots with Brenda Covarrubias, Ana Bertha Calderon, Jesus Gastelum-Rodriguez, Guadalupe Milan de Gastelum, all of whom already pleaded guilty in this case to Conspiracy to Bring Illegal Aliens to the United States.

In addition to the bribe, Magana also said he got a portion of the smuggling fees charged by the smugglers.

We must thank this guy, too.

The maximum sentence for Attempting to Bring Illegal Aliens into the U.S. is 10 years in federal prison with a minimum mandatory penalty of three years in prison. It can also carry up to a $250,000 fine.

The bribery charges could cost each guy 15 years in the federal pen, a fine of $250,000, or both. Fierros faces four of those charges, which would make his maximum sentence, if convicted, 60 years and the maximum fine at $1 million. OK. But we have to wonder where he’d get the $1 million if he’s sitting around in prison.

Maybe he can rake in more bribe money.

What do you think?

Is there any bribe large enough that would propel you into illegal action?

How can such actions be better prevented in the future?

Have you heard other unscrupulous border stories? Do tell.

We sometimes like to blame our neighbors for all the woes of the world – from the lack of parking to the garbage that blows in our yard. And sometimes they deserve it.

Proof Sawyer is sweet and doesn't deserve to be attacked/Ryn Gargulinski

After all, it is my neighbors’ fault my arm still hurts.

Sawyer, Phoebe, my beau and I were returning from our evening riverbed dog romp. The dogs were leashed and sauntering nicely.

The narrow path back to the house is crammed between a ditch full of thorny trees and a solid brick wall.

We were on that crammed path when we encountered the neighbors and their two dogs, whom we shall call Dumbo and Bimbo.

Dumbo and Bimbo, who are no small puppies, have a long history of distaste for Sawyer and Phoebe. The feeling is mutual and the dogs like to lunge at each other when we pass across the street. Everyone is leashed and the end result is lots of noise but no injuries.

But this time Dumbo and Bimbo were not on their leashes. And I ended up getting bit.

We rounded the corner to find the neighbors and their horror hounds, with enough time for the neighbors to leash up Dumbo and Bimbo. But they didn’t. They just stood there and watched as Dumbo approached us, acting dumb enough to merit his nickname, and set off a growl fest.

Bimbo, whose head is the size of a basketball and jaws are as wide as Montana, soon joined the fray.

Proof Phoebe is sweet and doesn't deserve to be attacked/Ryn Gargulinski

Sawyer, Phoebe, my boyfriend and I had initially moved towards the brick wall to let the foursome pass. Now were cornered against it by Dumbo and Bimbo while their owners stood back in the distance. Please note the dog dad was no small puppy, either, and could have at least attempted to restrain at least one of the hounds.

Dumbo was trying to sneak up on Sawyer’s hind end while Bimbo was going for Sawyer’s throat. Sawyer and Phoebe were still leashed and couldn’t really maneuver.

Yet Sawyer still attempted to defend himself while big, bad, barking machine Phoebe hid.

My dog mom instinct kicked in and I did I really dumb thing.

I stuck my arm out to push Bimbo away and ended up with my arm clamped in a dog jaw.

Once Sawyer realized it was my arm in his mouth, he let go immediately. But not before a nice pain set in. The pain was accompanied by a fine red mark that was only later alleviated by a pouch of frozen vegetables.

Dumbo and Bimbo were eventually restrained and led away by the neighbors, who didn’t even bother to apologize.

And I’ll bet it’s their garbage that blew in my yard.

Eager for input – please take the poll.

Do you have inconsiderate neighbors? What’s the worse thing they’ve done?

Have you been accosted by their dogs, cats, blowing garbage or children?

Tucsonan Joe Gardner was on one of his favorite day trips to Lochiel, about 100 miles southeast of Tucson, where the air is clean and the land pristine – usually.

Except when he finds a dead duct taped coyote.

Duct taped coyote/submitted photo

During his trek about two weeks ago, the 62-year-old who grew up in the Lochiel area noted buzzards circling about and followed their feast to find a mutilated carcass.

The coyote was definitely dead, with a hole in his underside where something had chewed out his entrails. He had not been skinned, but the two front legs and two back legs had been secured with tape, leaving him defenseless, provided he had still been alive when taped.

“I was surprised and puzzled and wondered about mutilation stories I had heard in the past,” Gardner said, “but those involved livestock, not wild animals. I also wondered if it was some kind of sick message for human smugglers, who are also referred to as coyotes.”

He vaguely recalled stories of livestock’s organs and genitalia being removed with “precision-appearing incisions” some time back in Cochise County. Perhaps Jack the Ripper of the cattle world.

Yet he had never seen such abuse of coyotes.

Lochiel school house/submitted photo

“I have not an inkling as to who or why would bind a coyote and leave it out for the buzzards,” he said. “I was born and raised in the area, and as a matter of fact, this was right in front of the one room school I attended when I was a kid. I know just about everyone who lives in the area, and can’t imagine any locals doing this, as they live in the area because they love and respect the land.”

Nothing respectful about a duct taped coyote.

Arizona’s animal cruelty felony law, ARS 13-2910, slaps a felony on anyone that “intentionally, knowingly or recklessly inflicts unnecessary physical injury to any animal.”

Awesome law. But it may not apply in the case of the duct taped coyote.

“Law enforcement would have to successfully allege that it was cruelty,” explained Marsh Myers, spokesman for the Animal Cruelty Taskforce of Southern Arizona. “Since coyotes can be legally hunted, an investigation would have to rule this possibility out. Sometimes the animal is hunted and then the carcass is just left to rot. It’s a sloppy practice but it happens all the time.”

In that case, it’s OK.

Many hunters are respectful – even reverent – about nature and engage in the sport for much more than just the kill. But there are always the idiots.

In another coyote case earlier this year, six mutilated carcasses were found dumped in a creek near an Oklahoma high school.

The critters had been skinned, with their front legs chopped off at the knees and their remains unceremoniously hurled where teens could easily find them.

The animals were originally thought to be dogs and all hell broke loose. Necropsies revealed they had been a half dozen coyotes. Hell kind of subsided.

While Oklahoma, like Arizona, does have animal cruelty laws with severe penalties, it would probably not apply if the animals were being hunted for their fur.

Authorities in Ohio were going nuts in 2007 trying to find the sicko who apparently skinned and boiled a dog – while it was still alive.

The animal, identified by a vet as a chow/pit bull mix, was fully skinned except for fur left on its paws, had cuts on its legs and neck and had wire wound around one of the back legs.

Someone finally did come forward to confess – that the animal was not a dog at all but simply a coyote he hunted but didn’t dispose of properly.

Even though the vet had initially been wrong about the animal’s identification, calling it a dog, the doc was not wrong about the animal having been still alive when it was boiled and skinned.

No matter. It was just a coyote.

The case was immediately closed and all pending criminal charges promptly dropped.

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Ryn Gargulinski is a poet, artist, performer and TucsonCitizen.com Ryngmaster who loves coyotes as much as she loves wolves but not as much as she loves her dogs. Her column appears every Friday on Rynski’s Blogski. Her art, writing and more is at RynRules.com. E-mail rynski@tucsoncitizen.com.

What do you think?

Is there a way to better enforce – or even prove – the animal cruelty felony law?

Can anything be done to better protect hunted wildlife from undue abuse?

Before you choose your Halloween costume this year, you better insure it does not offend anyone.

Rendition of controversial costume/Ryn Gargulinski

Such was the case with an illegal alien costume, sold briefly at Target and other retailers – until some folks yelled loud enough for it to be pulled off the market.

The costume isn’t even that great. It features the traditional outer-space alien mask, an orange inmate-like jumpsuit stamped with “Illegal Alien” across the front, and one accessory: a hand-held “Green Card.”

But it pissed off a lot of people nonetheless.

The costume is “distasteful, mean-spirited, and ignorant of social stigmas and current debate on immigration reform,” according to an e-mail sent to Target on Friday from Angelica Salas, executive director for Humane Immigrant Rights of Los Angeles, as quoted in a story at WTVR.com

Americans for Legal Immigration, or ALIPAC, fought back with a widely distributed news release of its own, encouraging people to buy the thing before it was pulled and boasting that the costume sold out at online retailers before it could be removed.

ALIPAC’s President, William Gheen listed one of the costumes on eBay, the release said, until it, too, was pulled “as they may be offensive to some members.”

Target says it listed the costume by mistake, WTVR reports.

Whatever the case may be, the whole brouhaha makes a sad statement for America: political correctness is now invading Halloween.

Now we just have to sit back and wait.

Wait for fanatical religious groups to cry out about devil and demon costumes and the Satanists to scream about folks who dress as angels.

We’ll also have to stop dressing up as serial killers, as that may make some folks upset, so just you forget about the plastic meat cleavers and hockey masks.

Don’t you dare don that infamous mask of Nixon or any other president, or any other public figure for that matter. You may offend the folks who voted for them.

Get rid of pirates, as they’ve been acting up lately. How dare we perpetuate their pillaging by donning a hook arm and skull bandanna.

Come to think of it, aren’t prostitute and hobo costumes offensive, as those folks may not have freely chosen that lifestyle but have been sucked into it by bad choices and worse luck.

Seems the only thing left to do is pull a sheet over your head and go as a ghost. Unless, of course, that may be offensive to folks who have a negative run-in with those feisty spirits.

While this is written with sarcasm, the whole costume controversy is a real issue that once again helps illustrate the sad state of American affairs.

Political correctness is taking over our lives.

But the saddest fact, by far, is that no one is getting rid of all the clown costumes.

What do you think?

Are the illegal alien costumes offensive – or humorous?

Is it an outrage they were even, briefly, for sale?

Should we be mindful of our Halloween costumes to make sure they don’t offend anyone?

A Tucson pizza guy was fired after being accused of throwing dough balls at and drawing a chalk penis on the outside wall of Magpies Gourmet Pizza on Broadway.

Photo Ryn Gargulinski

While the premise may be a tad humorous, Casey Lemme’s story is anything but.

Lemme is 30, just finished his bachelor’s in history at University of Arizona and is a well-liked fellow. He has three dogs, a sweet wife and has worked at Magpies for the past 10 years while he completed his degree.

But his denial meant nothing. Another worker, who was supervisor on the day of the chalk penis incident, was also slated to be fired over it. She was instead tipped off in advance and simply never came back to work.

Lemme had no clue when he arrived to work his 4 p.m. shift on Sept. 27 that he would be immediately called into the office and axed.

He said Magpies President Mike Acedo was at the Broadway location to do the honors.

“He told me somebody from the property management company called and saw me outside drawing penises on the wall,” Lemme said. “I was throwing dough balls, apparently, as well.”

Lemme asked Acedo to view the videotape from the outdoor security camera but said he refused.

Photo Ryn Gargulinski

Acedo did not wish to comment on the incident when I called him, but did say something to the effect of “We are happy with the outcome” which followed “company procedure.” He said there was no videotape.

He also mentioned the dough balls and chalk penis drawings were a recurring theme and the person responsible admitted to it, but would not say if that person were Lemme.

“Yes, I wrote the words ‘I like chalk,’ on the pavement,” Lemme said he told him, “but I assure you have not drawn a penis or thrown dough balls. That’s childish and I don’t really have the time. I have work to do.”

Lemme said chalk was always kept in the office and finding chalk drawings or writing was not uncommon, but he has never seen a chalk penis.

In a last bid to clear his name, Lemme went down to the corporate office after his firing, even though he didn’t think it would do much good.

“I told them, ‘If you don’t want me working there, fine, but I can’t have this on my record,’” he said.

No dice. Lemme will instead be haunted by the dough balls and chalk penis.

“He is wrongfully accused and now he faces problems when applying for a new job since his name has been tarnished with this filthy lie,” his wife Louise Nilsson wrote in an e-mail. She’s originally from Sweden and they are living off the savings from selling her house there until Casey finds a new job.

“Is there no rights for workers in this country? Why is it that businesses can do what they want to innocent workers and have their future ruined because they feel like it? I don’t understand how there is nothing that protects the worker from this kind of thing.”

Photo Ryn Gargulinski

Good questions, Louise.

While researching dumb reasons people get fired, I found they run the gamut to “position eliminated” to “not a good fit.”

The former can hold true even if someone was hired to do the exact same or similar job and the company slaps on a different title. The latter can be a catchall for pretty much anything at all.

One woman was fired for refusing to sign a written reprimand for something she denied doing.

Sure, there’s unemployment, which pays a ridiculous fraction of our salary and sometimes gets denied. Who knows what the outcome would be over the dough balls and chalk incident.

All Lemme knows is it’s time to move forward. And be glad that Brooklyn Pizza Company finally beat out Magpies as Tucson Weekly’s Best of Tucson pick for 2009.

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Ryn Gargulinski is a poet, artist, performer and TucsonCitizen.com Ryngmaster who has never been fired for graffiti although it did once really freak out one of her former bosses. Her column appears every Friday on Rynski’s Blogski. Her art, writing and more is at RynRules.com. E-mail rynski@tucsoncitizen.com.

What do you think?

Have you or someone you know ever been unfairly fired? What happened?

What’s the dumbest reason you know of someone getting fired?

What would you do if you were Casey?

PLEASE NOTE: Casey’s last name is Lemme. It was originally posted incorrectly as Nilsson, which is his wife’s last name.

A new national pastime for men has supplanted baseball or golf – one that uses a different set of equipment.

Marriage becomes a joke with cheating spouses/Ryn Gargulinski

The hobby is cheating on their wives.

The latest on the list of skirt chasers is America’s own funnyman David Letterman. He admitted to having past sexual liaisons with some of his show’s employees.

This summer, South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford confessed a year-long affair with a woman in Argentina.

Take it back to 2008 and New York’s Gov. Eliot Spitzer was resigning after stories of his hooker romps surfaced.

And no one will ever forget former President Bill Clinton and the infamously stained blue dress.

Enough already.

While the men may moan about a variety of different reasons they chose to cheat – from a thirst for power and thrills to not getting enough attention at home – the end result is a slap in the face to their marriages.

Before they even think about unbuckling their belts with a hooker, looker or woman from Argentina, they should think about a more feasible option.

It’s this thing called divorce. In the best-case scenario, it is followed by that thing called moving on with their lives.

People still get hurt, but at least they are left with some dignity.

America’s divorce rate is already at 50 percent. A few more here and there aren’t going to make much of a difference.

It would also spare the rest of the country a lot of grief.

No longer would households be subjected to bad late night TV jokes about the Appalachian Trail.

Bookstores would not be clogged down with banal best sellers, like Sanford’s wife’s memoir expected next summer.

Ballantine Books is promoting it by saying it “will grapple with the universal issue of maintaining integrity and a sense of self during life’s difficult times” as well as bring up “the emotions, confrontations and heartbreak behind the headlines of her story.”

It also sounds like enough to make bile rise in the throat.

Maintaining this integrity and sense of self would have been much easier if the couple had simply divorced.

The “heartbreak,” also, may have been there, but not with the same amount of shame.

The Spitzer trysts, too, are expected to be part of a book written by “New York Madam” Cecil Suwal.

More garbage for the book charts.

America would also be spared the tragic symbol of Hillary “I’ll-Stand-by-my-Man” Clinton as the graceful way to deal with a husband’s infidelities.

Even if it is less graceful, it has to be much more satisfying to kick the bum out on his bum.

Demand a divorce. Better yet, divorce before the marriage crumbles to the cheating stages.

Cheating on a spouse is the epitome of dishonesty – especially when the men decide to lie about it. Even openly admitting it is a lame stab at honestly, since the dishonest deed is already done.

Divorce, at least, is honest. “Hey, I can’t live with you anymore,” also hurts a lot less than, “Honey, I just slept with a hooker.”

This editorial appears in the Monday, Oct. 12 issue of the Arizona Daily Star.

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Ryn Gargulinski is a poet, artist, performer and TucsonCitizen.com Ryngmaster who never had a cheating spouse but would kick his butt if she did. Her column appears every Friday on Rynski’s Blogski. Her art, writing and more is at RynRules.com. E-mail rynski@tucsoncitizen.com.

What do you think?

Are you sick of all these skirt chasing stories or are you going to buy the books?

Should women and men stick by their philandering spouses or throw them in the gutter?

Some Arizona parents had a problem.

Illustration Ryn Gargulinski

They didn’t want their kids reading a cartoon book about a sperm named Willy.

These parents, in Chandler, asked that Nicholas Allan’s book “Where Willy Went” be moved to a restricted area of the library because the book is all about sex, according to the Banned Book Map.

Never mind that Willy is drawn like a little smiley tadpole or that sex is something kids will learn about – either from Willy or on the playground where their friends will probably give them all kinds of weird misinformation.

Yes, banning books and other materials is still alive and well in America – something we should note as we are the midst of The American Libraries Association Banned Books Week, which runs through Oct. 3.

In addition to the illustrated Willy book, Chandler parents challenged an audiotape of George Carlin’s “When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?” and a CD of Robin Williams narrating a fairy tale.

No explanation was given about the reasons behind challenging the recordings, but perhaps Robin Williams starts off the CD with his annoying “Good Morning, Vietnam” or something.

Banning a book or any other material just adds to its allure – the same way an artist’s work skyrockets in value after the artist drops dead.

Other books that have been banned throughout the years double as literary classics.

The Art Institute of Tucson Library’s Facebook page contains a list of books that have been banned or challenged for various reasons.

While Willy is not on the list, it does contain several others that many of us have probably been forced to read against our will – and ended up enjoying immensely.

Wish someone would have banned “Moby Dick” when it was on my college syllabus.

List of banned books, courtesy of The Art Institute of Tucson Library:

Illustration Ryn Gargulinski

Catcher in the Rye
Great Gatsby
Grapes of Wrath
To Kill a Mockingbird
The Color Purple
Ulysses
Beloved
Lord of the Flies
1984
Lolita
Of Mice and Men
Catch 22
A Farewell to Arms
Invisible Man
Satanic Verses
Sons & Lovers
Tropic of Cancer
Harry Potter books
The Bastard of Istanbul
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings
Half of a Yellow Sun

I remember once trying to read “Tropic of Cancer,” just because there was so much hullabaloo about it. But I don’t remember being shocked or even enjoying it much.

Perhaps I should go read about Willy instead.

Have you read any of these banned books?

Are there books you won’t let your children read? Is it because of their age or because you don’t agree with the book’s content?

Do you agree with banning or restricting books for various reasons? What are those reasons?