Kids certainly don’t always get along with their parents. But we hope the tension never turns ugly enough for the kids to haul off and kill them.

Such was allegedly the case earlier this week when 50-year old Kevin Black reportedly shot and killed his stepfather, Kenneth Phipps, 76.

Mom was in the house at the time of the shooting, although she is bedridden and suffers from dementia, police said. Black’s half-sister, age 47, was also there; she’s the one who ran outside yelling for help.

Police said the fatal shooting came during an argument between stepfather and son about Black walking around the house wearing a gun belt. Black had also been on the police’s radar in the past for stealing things from his family to feed his drug habit.

Kids who kill off their parents or stepparents usually do so a tad earlier than the age of 50 – since the younger kids can’t just pick up and leave as an adult can – but no matter what the age, the outcome is just as tragic.

Some of the most recent statistics, which are already 20 years old, determined more than 300 parents were killed by their children each year between 1977 and 1986. That’s about 25 dead moms or pops each month. Compared to other murders, that’s also very rare.

Parent-killing children generally fall into three types, according to parricide expert Kathleen Heide.

We have the kids who were cruelly abused; those who are suffering from mental illness; and the most dangerous of the bunch – the uncaring and selfish children afflicted with an antisocial personality disorder. This disorder is marked with, among other things, a blatant disregard of pretty much everyone’s rights but their own.

Never mind the commandment about honoring thy father and mother, kids who murder their parents are already breaking an even bigger rule.

Lizzie Borden was perhaps the most notorious of suspected parent killers, although she was acquitted of the 1892 crime.

Tensions were high in the Borden household when Lizzie purportedly hacked her dad and stepmother to death with an axe, some say after poisoning them didn’t work. One theory is it had something to do with seizures she was having during her menstrual cycle.

The Menendez brothers, who were convicted of gunning down their parents in 1989, are also up there on the notoriety list. Although they were brought up in a mansion and both college students when the crime went down, there are claims their dad was too tough on them.

By all means, then, shoot him.

It was later learned the double murder may have been all about the money.

My current true crime read, Cold Kill, is in the midst of outlining another slain parents tale of woe in 1982.

Adult child Cindy Ray Campbell spun skeins of delusional lies about how horribly her parents had treated her growing up. She was chained to the toilet. She was repeatedly raped.

Her boyfriend David West believed the lies. He also believed he’d get half her inheritance if he helped out his gal. So she finally convinced him to blow them away as they slept.

While we may not know every detail in these crimes, like what the heck goes through a child’s head when he pulls the trigger or she wields that ax, we do know that society’s view of parricide has gotten softer.

What once was totally and horrendously unthinkable is now, well, perhaps in some cases nearly justifiable.

A case in point is Billie Joe Powell, 16, who reportedly shot and killed her dad after he had allegedly abused her. Her Ohio community banned together with petitions and support to attempt to get her tried as a juvenile rather than an adult so she’d get a more lenient sentence.

How nice of them.

The judge was nice about it, too, not sentencing Powell to any prison term. Her 1993 plea agreement had her pleading guilty to first-degree manslaughter in exchange for 88 days in jail, five years probation and four years of psychological counseling.

So does the abuse of a child condone the murder of a father? We have to wonder if anything is horrific enough for a kid to take his parent’s life, the same life that brought him into the world in the first place.

Ryn Gargulinski is a poet, artist, performer and TucsonCitizen.com Ryngmaster who wants to stay at the Lizzie Borden Bed and Breakfast in Fall River, Mass. It’s supposed to be haunted. Her column appears every Friday on Rynski’s Blogski. Her art, writing and more is at RynRules.com. E-mail rynski@tucsoncitizen.com.

What do you think?

Is there anything that would justify a child killing his or her parents?

Do you like Lizzie Borden?

Have you heard any other horror stories? Do tell.

Taking photos of Tucson’s annual All Souls Procession is like owning dogs or eating salted peanuts – you certainly can’t stop at just one.

Don’t fret, as I shan’t post all 195 photos I snapped of the event, but I will give you my top 40 as the phrase has a ring to it.

Yes, I’m a photo junkie. But it’s much healthier than heroin.

Enjoy. My beau and I certainly did. Now I have Monday off to recover from the festivities and staying up late to post these photos.

The procession kicked off at Epic Cafe, at Fourth Avenue and University Place, and culminated at the Franklin Street docks.

I ended up with only one photo of the Tucson Citizen newspaper gang, as I was too busy waving to all those Citizen folks I dearly miss – and getting a big hug from a dapperly yet deathly dressed Renee Schafer-Horton. She makes a cute corpse. Good job on the tribute, guys. I miss your laughter.

BONUS: ALL SOULS PROCESSION POEM

EMBRACEABLE CORPSE

a cute corpse hugged

me on Sunday night as I

drank in the All Souls

Procession she left white

makeup on my chin and –

it was quite an honor to

connect with the souls of the

dead – who thrive on the

other side – where we’re

stripped down of flesh

blood and limb and –

left with what

really

matters.

-Ryn Gargulinski.11.2009

So, were you among the thousands who enjoyed the Sunday evening procession?

What was your favorite costume/outfit/puppet/sight?

Did you see the three legged dog?

What death would you or did you honor in the procession?

November’s here and that means one thing – it’s time to hurl ourselves face first into the upcoming holiday season.

Arizona is doing that in a big way by slaughtering a mighty blue spruce as instructed by the federal government.

Yes, our state has the honor of supplying this year’s United States Capitol Tree.

No, it won’t be placed inside the White House, but rather outside in front of the Capitol Building.

The 85-foot beauty from the White Mountain area’s Apache-Sitgreaves National Forests will be chopped at the knees on Nov. 7, according to a news release from the National Forest Service.

Everyone is welcome to attend this historic event – as it’s the first time ever that a forest in Arizona has been chosen to deplete its resources in the name of tradition.

The tree slaughtering ceremony will feature White Mountain Apache Dancers, an Apache blessing, choral music and Arizona’s official historian Marshall Trimble commemorating the event.

That’s quite a funeral.

The dead tree will then “tour Arizona” and other parts of the nation on the way to its Nov. 30 delivery to the United States Congress in Washington, D.C.

A dead tree is taking a tour? Isn’t that kind of like pulling a casket behind a sled and telling the corpse to enjoy the view?

I am not anti-Christmas trees. They are a fine addition to holiday décor, with their stately stance and fragrant boughs.

With a population of more than 300 million, if only a quarter of the nation’s residents wanted a fresh Christmas tree, 75 million trees would be killed.

But fake trees may not be the answer, according to a report on MSN.com, as they will eventually rot in a landfill when they become too ratty for display.

In fact, the report goes on to explain that Christmas trees and other live holiday décor are grown as crops specifically for that purpose, and not raped from Mother Nature.

That’s good to know. That’s probably why we haven’t encountered any “Save the Spruce” groups, too.

But that still doesn’t excuse the 85-foot slaughter, which is indeed being taken from its natural habitat. But in the big scheme of things, does one dead tree from the White Mountains actually matter?

What do you think?

Are you honored Arizona was chosen to supply the Capitol Christmas tree or do you wish the feds would pick on another state?

Are you a fan of Christmas trees? Do you recycle yours properly when you’re through with them?

Should we forget Christmas altogether and just sit around grouchy like a bunch of Grinches?

Pumpkins are great for a number of things that go far beyond Halloween. In fact, you can even kill a kid with one. Here are six ways of looking at these funky orange gourds:

As artistic expression –

Check out the artistry of some fabulously talented TC.com readers who sent entries into our Pumpkin Decorating Contest. The slide show below showcases their creativity and the poll is open for votes through Saturday Nov. 7. Winner will receive a yet-to-be-created piece of creepy Rynart.

As protection –

Jack-o-lanterns came about not because people wanted to enter pumpkin decorating contests, but rather as a form of protection.

Legend has it this guy named Stingy Jack played a few trick on the devil and, when Jack died, would not be admitted into either heaven or hell, according to History.com.

The devil gave the guy a piece of burning coal and told him to go wander the earth for eternity. Jack carried around the coal piece in a hollowed-out turnip. Europeans for years used turnips, potatoes and beets for jack-o-lanterns until they immigrated to America and found the pumpkin to be the perfect choice.

As a killer –

A little German kid died after his 10-year-old sister hurled a pumpkin at him as a joke and it hit him in the stomach, according to an 1884 archived news report posted at NYTimes.com. “He became very sick and died in a few hours,” the report said.

An unattended jack-o-lantern is also being blamed for staring a Northwest fire that killed three dogs and two cats, according to a report in the Arizona Daily Star. Two dudes who lived in the house at 1200 block of West Giaconda Way reportedly lit candles in the decorative gourds – then left the house to go to work.

As a weapon –

Since we already know pumpkins can kill, perhaps the sight of one would be an ample deterrent for muggers, degenerates and unleashed dogs encountered on narrow Tucson pathways.

Please be advised it may take some ingenuity – and muscles – to walk around town with a pumpkin and may be much simpler to invest in pepper spray or a retractable baton.

As a healthy snack –

Pumpkin pie laden with whipped cream, sugar and other strange additives is not necessarily on the healthy menu, but plain ole pumpkin is. Pumpkin is rife with fiber, minerals, vitamins and antioxidants.

Canned pumpkin, with no additives, is also a great way to get rid of a pet’s diarrhea, as my dog Sawyer found out when he got 1 tablespoon per day until his ailment passed, pun not intended.

As a seduction method –

KoreyK. shared the story of the political pumpkin entries, which were used to seduce:

“One of my brother’s friends gave the pumpkins away, without my permission, to two sorority girls to take to their party, thinking it would get him laid. It didn’t. In fact, they wouldn’t even tell him the location.”

TC.com pumpkin decorating contest entries in alphabetical order (top four culled from hundreds of thousands submissions):

Vote now through Nov. 7 for your favorite entry in the TC.com pumpkin decorating contest.

What do you think?

Did you carve or smash any pumpkins this Halloween?

Is pumpkin a part of your daily diet?

What other uses to pumpkins have?

Tucsonan Joe Gardner was on one of his favorite day trips to Lochiel, about 100 miles southeast of Tucson, where the air is clean and the land pristine – usually.

Except when he finds a dead duct taped coyote.

During his trek about two weeks ago, the 62-year-old who grew up in the Lochiel area noted buzzards circling about and followed their feast to find a mutilated carcass.

The coyote was definitely dead, with a hole in his underside where something had chewed out his entrails. He had not been skinned, but the two front legs and two back legs had been secured with tape, leaving him defenseless, provided he had still been alive when taped.

“I was surprised and puzzled and wondered about mutilation stories I had heard in the past,” Gardner said, “but those involved livestock, not wild animals. I also wondered if it was some kind of sick message for human smugglers, who are also referred to as coyotes.”

He vaguely recalled stories of livestock’s organs and genitalia being removed with “precision-appearing incisions” some time back in Cochise County. Perhaps Jack the Ripper of the cattle world.

Yet he had never seen such abuse of coyotes.

“I have not an inkling as to who or why would bind a coyote and leave it out for the buzzards,” he said. “I was born and raised in the area, and as a matter of fact, this was right in front of the one room school I attended when I was a kid. I know just about everyone who lives in the area, and can’t imagine any locals doing this, as they live in the area because they love and respect the land.”

Nothing respectful about a duct taped coyote.

Arizona’s animal cruelty felony law, ARS 13-2910, slaps a felony on anyone that “intentionally, knowingly or recklessly inflicts unnecessary physical injury to any animal.”

Awesome law. But it may not apply in the case of the duct taped coyote.

“Law enforcement would have to successfully allege that it was cruelty,” explained Marsh Myers, spokesman for the Animal Cruelty Taskforce of Southern Arizona. “Since coyotes can be legally hunted, an investigation would have to rule this possibility out. Sometimes the animal is hunted and then the carcass is just left to rot. It’s a sloppy practice but it happens all the time.”

In that case, it’s OK.

Many hunters are respectful – even reverent – about nature and engage in the sport for much more than just the kill. But there are always the idiots.

In another coyote case earlier this year, six mutilated carcasses were found dumped in a creek near an Oklahoma high school.

The critters had been skinned, with their front legs chopped off at the knees and their remains unceremoniously hurled where teens could easily find them.

The animals were originally thought to be dogs and all hell broke loose. Necropsies revealed they had been a half dozen coyotes. Hell kind of subsided.

While Oklahoma, like Arizona, does have animal cruelty laws with severe penalties, it would probably not apply if the animals were being hunted for their fur.

Authorities in Ohio were going nuts in 2007 trying to find the sicko who apparently skinned and boiled a dog – while it was still alive.

The animal, identified by a vet as a chow/pit bull mix, was fully skinned except for fur left on its paws, had cuts on its legs and neck and had wire wound around one of the back legs.

Someone finally did come forward to confess – that the animal was not a dog at all but simply a coyote he hunted but didn’t dispose of properly.

Even though the vet had initially been wrong about the animal’s identification, calling it a dog, the doc was not wrong about the animal having been still alive when it was boiled and skinned.

No matter. It was just a coyote.

The case was immediately closed and all pending criminal charges promptly dropped.

__

Ryn Gargulinski is a poet, artist, performer and TucsonCitizen.com Ryngmaster who loves coyotes as much as she loves wolves but not as much as she loves her dogs. Her column appears every Friday on Rynski’s Blogski. Her art, writing and more is at RynRules.com. E-mail rynski@tucsoncitizen.com.

What do you think?

Is there a way to better enforce – or even prove – the animal cruelty felony law?

Can anything be done to better protect hunted wildlife from undue abuse?

This fun Odd Pueblo feature asks the audience to rate a trend, topic or sighting of something around town: is it snappy or crappy?

The last snappy or crappy, vanity license plates, got several snappy votes, but others were mixed, depending on what the plate said.

The latest snappy or crappy will surely not leave you on the fence. You are most likely going to be immediately amused or repelled by it.

The plaque below this, shall we call it, thing, read “Wyoming Werewolf.”

I won’t immediately tell you where I spied this interesting artifact, except to say that it wasn’t for sale. Sorry to all you readers who was counting on it for a holiday gift.

While I’ve heartily voted snappy on most of the snappy or crappy selections, this one gets my first true crappy, crappy, crappy.

What do you think?
Snappy. That thing is hilarious and I wish it were hanging in my kitchen.
Crappy. I wouldn’t even hang that monstrosity in my garage.
Atrocious. How demeaning to the deer, or whatever animal’s hind end that is, to put teeth, a tongue and eyeballs on it like that.
Undecided. I’m from Wyoming and am still figuring out if I’m offended or not.

After dozens of detours, hordes of headaches and folks finding themselves stuck at a dead end, the Fourth Avenue underpass is reopening with hoopla, hype and a brand new look.

Some may say hip-hip and hooray but I have another thing to say: I liked the old one.

I am in no way downing the renovation or the fact that the new underpass is safer, more practical and – yaay! – finally getting rid of that dead end.

Nor am I trying to throw a wet towel on the celebration, which sounds like a gas.

I am simply lamenting the passing of another chunk, albeit crumbling, of Tucson’s past.

I fell in love with Fourth Avenue’s creepy, cavernous underpass during one All Souls Procession, when the masked and bone-clad creatures frolicked out of its mouth like a throng of glorious souls from the depths of the Earth.

Our Logical Lizard blogger, Geoffrey Notkin, agrees. In fact, I think he’s the one who pointed out that phenomenon at the event.

Frolicking out of shiny new tile just won’t have the same effect.

Sure, the previous underpass may have been ready to crumble and was so low it may have possibly behead someone, but it was also quite charming.

Part of what drew me to Old Pueblo was its ancient buildings and dilapidated underpasses. Let’s call it Tucson charm.

Not that I’m against progress – some things need updating. But it would be wise to ensure we keep that primitive feel that makes Tucson so alluring.

Other “progress” around town includes new construction tall enough to block mountain views in Feldman’s Historic Neighborhood, as outlined in a letter by resident Kathleen Williamson.

A fine rambling patch of desert near the Rillito River along my daily dog walk was once haven to coyotes, lizards, rabbits and twisted debris that made for great art supplies.

Now it’s a parking lot.

While my dogs do enjoy the water fountain the parking lot came with, I’m still wondering if it will ever house more cars than the usual zero to three I see there.

I’m also still wondering why an open-topped, concrete garbage can that gets stuffed with dog doo was placed mere inches from the water fountain.

See, sometimes “progress” can really stink.

What do you think?

Should developers try to retain Tucson’s kitschy charm?

Should all the old stuff be razed to make way for newfangled buildings?

Should we all just move to Phoenix?

Klaus Lauterbach is already 20 years old but, like a small child done wrong, he may deserve a spanking – at least figuratively.

This German fellow is in the midst of a trek across North America and had spoken to his dad, back in Germany we presume, on Aug. 8.

Dad was left with the impression his boy would be visiting the Grand Canyon on Aug. 9, according to a press release from the National Park Service.

Then young Lauterbach disappeared. His dad had heard nothing since Aug. 8, and finally took action on Aug. 14.

Dad contacted the police to report his son missing, prompting a search by Grand Canyon National Park rangers and the Flagstaff Police Department.

Investigators learned Lauterbach was last seen getting off a shuttle bus near the Maswik Lodge on Aug. 9, but then his trail went cold.

Maswick Lodge is one-quarter mile from the canyon’s edge, the lodge’s website said.

Recent tragedies may have fueled the worries. A body believed to be missing Grand Canyon hiker Bryce Gillies, 20, was found July 25. Ghoerghe Chiriac, 57, was found dead near a car he drove over the edge of the Grand Canyon on July 13.

These are not positive signs.

Nine days after the Aug. 8 phone call, however, Lauterbach decided to call his dad, telling him he was merrily on his way to British Columbia, Canada.

Shame on you, Klaus.

You got your family and many others in a tizzy.

“The National Park Service would like to thank local and national media, as well as local communities, for their assistance in reaching out to the public for information about Mr. Lauterbach’s whereabouts,” the most recent National Park Service press release said.

Even I know to check in with my folks at least once a week to tell them I’m not dead (and I’m sorry for all the times I didn’t!).

What do you think?

Was Klaus being irresponsible? Was his dad over-reacting?

Do you check in with your parents or expect your kids to check in with your regularly?

What would you do if your parents or children were visiting a foreign country and the same thing happened?

Rynnote: I am on vacation until Tues., Aug. 11, but I lovingly leave you with a special vacation photo Snappy or Crappy. All pictures are from a previous summer vacation in New York City, where I love to visit after hightailing it out of there after 17 years. P.S. Only look at one photo each day, so it’s like you’re getting a new one every morning.

Enjoy!

This fun feature asks the audience to rate a trend, topic or sighting of something striking: is it Snappy or Crappy?

Shoot the clown

What do you think? Please respond:

Snappy. Hilarious! Where’s the ammo?

Crappy. I love clowns and this is downright mean.

View from the deck of the glorious, glamorous, grandiose, gorgeous, graceful Brooklyn Bridge

What do you think? Please respond:

Snappy. There’s no way the Brooklyn Bridge is not snappy.

Donkey with cart in Bensonhurst, Brooklyn

What do you think? Please respond:

Snappy. It exacts that Old World charm. In fact, it looks like it is left over from the Old World.

Crappy. That stinkin’ donkey is more hideous than the Snappy or Crappy doll on the Tucson porch.

Tourists on lower Broadway. Please note menacing figure in background who appears he’s conniving to mug them.

What do you think? Please respond:

Snappy. Tourists wholly amuse me. I like sending them in the wrong direction.

Crappy. Tourists wholly annoy me. I like sending them in the wrong direction.

Dead things in a gaggle

What do you think? Please respond:

Snappy. I’m fascinated with the dead.

Crappy. At least seeing this dead things photo means we won’t have to see that other NYC vacation dead things photo of the giant sewer rat.

Mottled corn

What do you think? Please respond:

Snappy. It reminds me of how much I love butter.

Crappy. I don’t get why someone would put this outside a food booth as a marketing device.

Garbage truck with hostages.

What do you think? Please respond:

Snappy. I always wondered what I should do with my old stuffed animals.

Crappy. This is not funny at all. Stuffed animals are supposed to be cuddly, cute and adored – not tethered to the front of a trash truck.

Coney Island’s historic Cyclone rollercoaster

What do you think? Please respond:

Snappy. I love roller coasters, especially those that are ancient and rickety.

Crappy. I’d never ride that death trap. It’s nearly 100 years old and feels it.

A REAL salt bagel

What do you think? Please respond:

Snappy. Wow. Yum. Awesome. I’m so sick of those fake frozen bagel blobs.

Crappy. If you eat this much salt, you may as well join the gaggle of dead things.

Graffiti van

What do you think? Please respond:

Snappy. Graffiti is a colorful and welcome art form as long as it’s done right.

Crappy. Never mind the clown, I’d shoot whomever did this to my van.

Even before serial killer John Wayne Gacy dressed up as Pogo and stuffed the corpses of young men and boys beneath his porch, many of us have been terrified of clowns.

Some won’t even attend the circus because of them, while others harbor their fear in secret, quietly trembling at the sight of bright red afros and oversize shoes.

Clowns may not be the only creepy performer – they share the stage with mimes, magicians and Barry Manilow – but, at least for me, they are at the top of the heap.

Why do we find these things creepy?

Clowns – The main reason folks fear clowns has to be their makeup. Unless it’s their billowing costumes, seemingly unwashed hair, boat-size shoes or bulbous red noses.

Clowns are hiding behind a hideous façade where, dressed like that, they can only be planning hideous actions. They are also quite invasive and may not go away even when a kid – or adult – bursts into tears.

We must wonder how McDonald’s overcame such a barrier, or why it made a clown its spokesman in the first place. Not that a giant purple thing or cheeseburger thief are much better choices.

A Nursing Standard magazine survey found 250 kids, ages 4 to 16, said clowns were “universally scary.”

So let’s send them to children’s hospitals.

While not many of us run across clown in our daily lives, except when we’re stuck in Tucson traffic, coulrophobia is not a fear that can be rationalized or made to disappear. It is so widespread that entire websites, blogs and T-shirt lines are devoted to the fear and loathing of these creepy things.

Mimes – Mimes can be seen as clowns with more form-fitting clothing and no voices. The lack of speech is a good thing, for you can block them out by simply turning around.

But mimes still may follow you around unless they are confined to their invisible boxes.

Magicians/Illustionists – Why some folks loathe magicians is an easy one – magicians mess with our reality. They make us see things that are not there, pull stuff from our ears and rearrange New York City landmarks.

I’ve not had a problem with magicians or illusionists, except when they move the Statue of Liberty.

One Tucson duo, Dance of Illusion’s Roland Sarlot and Susan Eyed, is a major exception to the magician creepiness rule. They rule. Their Club Congress New Year’s Eve bash included Eyed levitating several feet in the air.

The two spend their summers performing their recreated parlour shows in Coney Island, but also tour internationally. They were just in town this weekend and I meant to plug their show but I was too busy fearing clowns to remember in time.

Barry Manilow – The main reason some may have an aversion to this Brooklyn boy is because, with that nose and hair he could, perhaps, resemble a clown.

Others just think his music is lame. I’ve not really had a problem with him, other than the fact “Copacabana” tends to run endlessly through your head.

One of my friends adores Manilow so much she only stops short of having a full-length poster of him above her bed. Another so despises the chap that he threw a brand new Barry Manilow CD out of a speeding car window.

Which performer do you find the creepiest? Why?

Are you one of the few who actually likes clowns?