Anyone who wonders how so many illegal immigrants sneak across the border every year need not wonder any longer.

Sauve moi!/Ryn Gargulinski

One big reason is because of the horses, according to an e-mail from the office of Congressman Rob Bishop’s office.

You see, some of the land near the border area is protected by environmental laws. This means Border Patrol agents can’t just go blasting through the areas in heavy duty vehicles and machinery.

They have to wait for horses to be delivered to them so they can instead tread naturally on horseback. The wildlife that’s being protected by using the horses is another major cause. Damn animals. They are really wrecking it all down there.

Bishop (R-Utah) recently shared a bunch of documents with The Washington Times which, in turn, wrote about environmental issues hindering border security. Bishop is ranking member of the Resources Subcommittee on Parks, Forests and Public Lands and chairman of the Congressional Western Caucus.

“In a remarkably candid letter to Congressman Rob Bishop, Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano said her department has had to delay pursuits of illegal immigrants while waiting for horses to be brought in so agents don’t impede upon protected lands, and warns that illegal immigrants will increasingly make use of remote, protected areas to avoid being caught,” according to The Washington Times.

It may seem silly for the agents to be so worried about protecting the land since we highly doubt drug smugglers and their ilk are paying particular attention to it.

But if the agents don’t pay attention, they may be slapped with a hefty fine.

Well preserved environment/Ryn Gargulinski

“The documents (shared by Bishop) also show the Interior Department has charged the Homeland Security Department $10 million over the past two years as a ‘mitigation’ penalty to pay for damage to public lands that agencies say has been caused by Border Patrol agents chasing illegal immigrants,” The Times continues.

None of this is anything new. Anyone who has been to any type of meeting on the virtual fence or other border security issues knows the environmental groups show up en masse.

Border lights may be too bright. Towers may be too tall. Other security measures may be too intrusive.

On the other side of the fence, so to speak, we get those who don’t give a hoot about any type of wildlife if it interferes with our human pursuits. Never mind if the animals were here first or that we are successfully adding many to the ever-growing endangered list.

So should we just rape the land in the name of border security? Or should we hold back and save the wildlife while society may suffer?

It’s just too bad the wildlife don’t get it, and perhaps pick one side of the border or the other to make their home rather than screwing it all up by trying to live free in the middle.

What do you think?

Is protecting our nation’s security more important than protecting wildlife?

Should we stop building anything that may impede with wildlife?

Is there a happy medium?

Yes, we are all sick of the swine flu, especially those who have become sick from it.

Art by Ryn Gargulinski/Photo by Emily

But we can get an even bigger headache if we believe some of the swine flu myths or spend our life savings on products that make false claims for treating, curing or preventing against the H1N1 virus.

Myth – Pigs don’t get it.

Pigs can indeed get the H1N1 virus, and it’s not just your neglected and marginal alley pigs. In fact, six show pigs who were waddling their stuff at the Minnesota State Fair tested positive for the virus, according to a Reuters report posted on the ABC news website.

The first pig to test positive from the batch got honors on Oct. 19 as the first pig known to have the swine flu in the United States.

“The new strain of H1N1 virus, which has genetics from humans, birds and swine, likely circulated undetected in pigs for at least a decade before jumping to humans, according to an expert at the University of Arizona,” the story said.

Myth – Great swine flu cures and preventions can be found from overpriced items sold online.

Sham products include: “phony prescription drugs, ‘sterilizers,’ fake food supplements, magic shampoos, facemasks, a ‘silver spray’ claiming to protect against the flu virus and a phony ‘photon’ machine marketed with the false claim that it boosts the immune system,” according to a news release from Arizona Attorney General Terry Goddard’s office.

Also be wary of products or even natural remedies that have been around for years that are all of a sudden claiming to calm, prevent or treat the flu. Be especially cautioned against products that boast about curing swine flu while they increase your sex drive, make you lose weight without dieting, or whiten your teeth overnight.

Myth – Folks can get swine flu from eating bacon, pork chops and other pig products.

While some pig products, like those pig feet you see floating in a milky liquid, may not be at the top of your appetizer list, none pose a threat of giving you the flu from simply ingesting them, according to the Reuters story.

Nevertheless, the story added, the U.S. hog market has been affected, with China banning U.S. pork products since May and Mexico hoping to instill such a ban.

Myth – Older people are most at risk for swine flu.

It’s actually the younger set that is more likely to fall prey to H1N1. Some older folks have a strengthened immune system, said the Gulf Daily News, thanks to living through pandemics that previously killed off millions. These include 1918’s Spanish flu; 1957’s Asian flu and 1968’s Hong Kong flu.

Those are some tough elders who may still be thriving today after suffering through the Spanish flu of 1918.

Myth – Piglet is the butt of jokes.

Unfortunately, this myth is true, as Winnie the Pooh’s little pink pal has become somewhat of an outcast. Don’t fret too much, as reports have indicated that Eeyore, at least, has remained on speaking terms with him.

What do you think?

What are some other swine flu myths and scares that you’ve heard?

Do you care Piglet has become an outcast?

Many of us have heard the warnings – keep your pets inside on Halloween or they could end up as satanic sacrifices.

Illustration Ryn Gargulinski

Actually, the standard line in Halloween pet safety lists reads something like: There are plenty of stories of vicious pranksters who have teased, injured, stolen, even killed pets on this night.

The warnings, especially the cult-related, focus on black cats, which throughout history have been considered the dark embodiment of evil.

Over the years, according to our favorite myth-busting website Snopes.com, the rumors have expanded to include white cats, the symbol of virginity and purity; black dogs, especially Doberman pinchers and Damien-esque Rottweilers; and then to all pets of all sorts.

Goats, of course, are on the list year-round. And you better hide that rabbit.

While these rumors may or may not be true, some shelters across the nation actually curtail adoptions of black cats – or any animal – during the Halloween season.

Others relay creepy stories, like two Brooklyn, N.Y., shelter workers who swear a woman came in for a black cat on Halloween dressed as a witch.

“We told her no,” Snopes quotes a worker. “We know she only wanted the cat for a Halloween ritual.”

Another shelter owner points out that cults are not going to traipse on down to a shelter, go through a background check and pay good money they could instead use for a new cauldron or something just to adopt an animal they intend to slaughter.

They’re going to take it from the streets or someone’s backyard.

Even if our pets are not likely to end up kidnapped by a satanic cult on Halloween night, it is a good idea to keep them inside.

You don’t need the headache of wondering if Fido will bolt out the gate or Fifi will attack a kid dressed as a goblin.

And even if a cult is not going to gather up your animal for slaughter, you don’t need those same yahoos who think it’s funny to throw eggs at your window to have unlimited access to your beloved pet.

After all, There are plenty of stories of vicious pranksters who have teased, injured, stolen, even killed pets on this night.

What do you think?

Have you heard rumors of Halloween pet abuse or sacrifices?

Have you seen it in action?

Ants in your pants may be a cute little phrase to kick around, but it’s not a cute little experience.

Eggs anyone?/Photo Ryn Gargulinski

Thankfully I’ve never enjoyed that phenomenon firsthand, although ants are invading my bathroom. They especially enjoy swarming in the medicine cabinet and making a small, swirling statement in the white porcelain sink.

This is not a surprise as Arizona is teeming with ants, even has the distinction of being the state with the most ant varieties in the entire nation, according to Antweb.org.

Our ants fall into eight subfamilies, 43 genera and 318 native species – not to mention any wayward ants that climbed aboard smuggled plants.

That’s a heck of a lot of ants.

While the ants in my bathroom may be annoying, they are not as bad as cockroaches. Nor do I think they will actually kill me or my pets, which has been the case in other instances.

Ants have been known to attack small dogs, kittens and people. They are also part of the insect bite statistic that kills about 40 folks in the United States every year. We’re not sure about stats in other areas, but we know of at least one in South America this July.

Ants swiped the life of a 42-year-old drunk man who fell asleep beneath a tree in Bolivia, according to a 2009 report on MSNBC.com

Ants attacked and killed a 3-month-old baby girl in Phoenix while she slept in her crib, according to a 2003 Arizona Republic story cited on igorilla.com

South Carolina gardener Janet Wallace Roedl Shiansky, 68, was also doomed by ants when they skittered in her sneaker and stung her foot, according to a 2006 report at the ABC news site. The ABC headline read: “Beware of the Bugs: Fire Ants Can Kill Americans,” as if every other nationality is safe.

While these ant deaths may not have been as dramatic as those depicted in the killer ant movie Them!, they were deaths just the same.

Before any ant fanatics start leaving angry comments, please note we are not saying ants are not useful or that they don’t have any redeeming qualities. And yes, they probably kill fewer people every year than slipping in the bathtub or riding downhill into traffic in a shopping cart.

Ants’ redeeming qualities:

They can lift 10 times their weight. That means colonies of them can march off with discarded picnic watermelon rinds and, if they were our size, could probably lift a small car.

They rhyme with many words, making them ideal fodder for song lyrics and poetry. Pants, rants, chants, lance, chance, orange sherbert (just seeing if you’re paying attention).

They are easy to draw. Hook up three circles, a pair of antenna and six stick figure legs and you’re done.

They live in ant farms. These are fascinating plastic contraptions that kids can poke, ogle and drop on the ceramic tile to make for a real fun clean-up project.

Ryn Gargulinski

What do you think?

Have you ever been attacked by ants?

Have you ever written a song about ants or kept an art farm?

Has your home, yard or raisin cereal ever been invaded by ants?

The terrible twosome’s wacky habits

Sawyer and his pet chicken (sorry, Lefty!)/Ryn Gargulinski

Sawyer’s latest fascination is with the stinky little woodchips around one of my backyard trees.

Well, he’s more than fascinated with them. He eats them.

He’s also been known to chow down on my grass seedlings, a raw chicken breast he snatched off the counter and a blackened piece of something that could have been a flattened lizard out on our dog walk.

Some may also remember the post about the missing cucumber and how it was found mutilated in Sawyer’s possession.

The worst, by far, were the river rocks in Oregon.

Sawyer scarfed down three of the things, one of which was about 3 inches long and lodged sideways blocking his intestine. The operation to remove it cost some $800.

Another dog needed surgery after eating 22 pounds of Astroturf. The pooch apparently liked the way it unraveled at the edges and ended up with a hunk of it in his stomach.

No operation – but plenty of prayers – were needed for the canine who knocked a peanut butter jar off the counter then proceeded to wolf it down, busted glass and all. Somehow it all passed through without a hitch.

Since the river rocks, I’d like to say Sawyer has been pickier about his eating habits. But he still mauled and digested part of a pair of shoes, one of my former cell phones, and has now moved on to the stinky little woodchips.

The terrible twosome’s wacky habits is a new feature that will highlight the strange habits of Ryn’s dogs Sawyer and Phoebe. If you have a strange pet habit to share, please e-mail to rynski@tucsoncitizen.com

Sawyer eating something that's actually edible/Ryn Gargulinski

What’s the weirdest thing your pet ever ate?

Did he or she need surgery to remove it?

You could be inadvertently supporting a puppy mill – or a breeder that hoards pets and keeps them in disgusting conditions – unless you properly do your homework before adopting a pet.

Do you know where this hound has been?/Ryn Gargulinski

A recent influx of complaints have been surfacing about a handful of local organizations that call themselves “animal rescues,” according to a news release from the Animal Cruelty Task Force of Southern Arizona.

The investigations are ongoing and ACT did not disclose any names, but it did provide some tips for folks who are ready to adopt a pet:

* Research any business or non-profit organization before you buy or adopt from them – or before making a donation. Just because a group calls itself “animal rescue” does not mean it is an incorporated 501(c) 3 charity. Check out Charity Navigator and Guide Star to research both not-for-profit and for-profit organizations.

* Never buy or adopt an animal “sight unseen.” Check out the animal’s living conditions.

* Pet stores are required by law to provide a complete breeding and medical history for any dog or cat. Ask for it. Humane agencies and animal controls are exempt from this law.

* Don’t trust written certificates that ensure pedigree. This is where fraud often kicks in. Do your own research.

* Never buy an animal out of a car, on the side of the road, at swap meets and the like. Those practices are now prohibited by state and local ordinance. Turn those jokers in, instead.

* Get all health guarantees and refund policies in writing and take a new pet to the vet within 48 hours for an exam. Call the vet the seller says he has been using to make sure he has.

* Comparison shop. Real rescue organizations will usually charge a reasonable fee, not an outlandish amount. Check for guarantees.

Learn more about animal laws:

ACT and the Humane Society of Southern Arizona are offering Animal Law 101 classes for pet owners. More info: Jenison Silva 321-3704 ext. 125, Mon. to Fri.

You can also research relevant laws and reporting animal crimes at act-az.org/buyerbeware.html

All info from ACT.

Have you ever adopted a pet from an unscrupulous source?

What happened?

Some may say the only good rat is a dead rat, but there are many reasons to be fond of the sneaky creatures.

A farmer holds a rat he caught as others march the streets on the first day of a month long rat killing campaign in Dhaka, Bangladesh/AP photo

They are smart, sweet, cuddly – and the domesticated versions make excellent pets. I have two as pets right now and once bred them while I served as New York chapter president of the Northeast Rat and Mouse Club.

As much as some of us may love rats, we would not appreciate thousands of them invading our homes. Heck, most of us wouldn’t stand for even a single rat invading our home. That pack rat that thrives in my backyard even tends to get on my nerves.

The problem is far worse than a single rat in Bangladesh, where throngs of the steely rodents are overtaking – and eating – the crops.

To help encourage people to kill the beasts, the government his kicked-off a month long rat slaying campaign and awarded the current top killer a gorgeous prize, according to an Associated Press report.

Mokhairul Islam, 40, won a first prize of a color television for killing some 83,450 rats in the past nine months in Gazipur district near the South Asian country’s capital, Dhaka. He collected their tails for proof.

“This is an exciting moment. I will continue to kill them,” he told AP in the story.

Although the farmer said he collected their tails for proof of his deed, the article did not say what he was going to do with the tails.

Macrame? Dental floss? Woven rat-tail baskets, anyone?

Fave rat illustration from book RATS INCREDIBLE/Ryn Gargulinski

What do you think?

Should the dude have gotten more than a 14-inch color TV for his stellar efforts?

Have you ever been invaded by rats?

Have you kept the domesticated version as pets?

Do you love them?

Those fat, green caterpillars that squirm all over Tucson yards really have it bad.

Phoebe torturing a hornworm/Ryn Garguilnski

Also known as tomato hornworms, these creepy creatures grow up to 4 inches long and about the width of a thick piece of ziti, making it tough for them to hide.

Hence they are preyed upon by parasitic wasps, hungry lizards and my dog Phoebe.

Phoebe likes to puncture them with her teeth then leave them to ooze and die.

As if all this is not horrific enough, I accidentally found a way to make these creatures’ lives even more miserable.

Before I continue, I must warn you this story is gross – even for me.

In fact, I won’t be able to eat thick pasta for quite some time, thanks to one of these hornworms that had a really bad morning.

Since I am decidedly not a fan of these squirmy beasts, I was ecstatic to see a lizard in my backyard trying to shove one of these fat things down his teeny lizard throat.

I ran to get a camera to record this hilarious scene, but my sudden movement scared the lizard off to behind some backyard artwork.

The caterpillar still lay there, writhing, so I thought I’d do the lizard a favor and throw the thing over to the artwork where I saw the scaly critter was hiding.

I couldn’t have asked for a worse shot.

The murderous agave spike/Ryn Gargulinski

Rather than landing gently at the lizard’s toes, the worm made a perfect arc in the air – only to plop down on the spike of one of my agave plants.

The agave spike sliced cleanly through the center of the fatty beast, sticking out the other side, as the worm wriggled and writhed with his guts bubbling and dripping down the side of the plant.

It reminded me of those scenes in horror movies where people fall several floors out the side of a building only to plunk down on a spiked fence.

Since I couldn’t leave that monstrosity spiked to the agave, I knocked it asunder with a hand trowel in the general direction of the lizard. Miraculously, the lizard was still interested and began to dine anew.

Until Phoebe came charging out her doggie door and scared him away for good.

The tomato hornworm/caterpillar lived for a few more milliseconds then rolled up and died.

Although dead, the worm was gone the next morning. And I really don’t care where it went. As long as it’s not suspended and oozing down my agave.

Hornworm after the spike/Ryn Gargulinski

Have you had a run in with these tomato hornworms/caterpillars?

What happened?

Do you see any redeeming qualities in these things?

We all know not to let the puppy play with the electrical cords – but there are many other dangers lurking around our homes that can really wreak havoc on our pets.

Below please find an A to Z list of some household pet dangers. While some may be obvious, others have only come to my attention through unpleasant experience, like Sawyer’s bout with rocks or Phoebe’s struggle with the dresser drawer pull.

Illustration Ryn Gargulinski

Astroturf – Since this stuff likes to unravel at the edges, it’s a great thing for pets to chew on, bat around or otherwise play with. That is until they get a great big ball of it in their stomach.

Bologna – Not sure if the actual meat substance of bologna can harm a pet, but that plastic rim that comes on many lunch meats can be a massive choking hazard.

Chocolate – Keep dogs, cats and ferrets away from those Hershey bars.

Dresser draw pulls – Phoebe found out the dangers of these firsthand when she got her collar caught on the pointy 1970s wooden pulls in the bedroom. Not to fret, she simply pulled and pulled until the handle ripped off and the drawer was left with two screw bottoms sticking out and no way to open it. Good doggie.

Elastic – Rubber bands, hair ties and other small pieces of the stuff may look like a great toy for your furry friend – until it’s ingested or choked on.

Floss – Cats, dogs and other critters may be fascinated by that fine stringy stuff you are supposed to rub between your teeth, but it can also choke them.

Grapes and raisins – Both contain a toxin that can be lethal to dogs.

Glue – Polyurethane glue especially can cause great damage to your furry friends. If they happen to chew into a bottle of it and swallow some, the stuff absorbs water, expands and forms a giant, hard lump in their stomachs that may require surgery to remove. Ouch.

Household garbage – Or any garbage. Filled with stuff ranging from moldy foods to bologna plastic, only bad things can result in your pet getting into the garbage.

Illustration Ryn Gargulinski

Isopropyl alcohol and its friends – Ethanol, methanol and even alcohol found in beverages can really do a doozy on your pet. And no, it’s not funny to get your puppy drunk.

Jack-in-the-Box – Steer clear of feeding fast food to your pets. Please.

Kalanchoe – Just one of a long list of household plants that can be toxic to pets – and even small children. See full list by clicking here.

Lilies, lily-of-the-valley and lily bulbs – When kitty eats a lily, kitty gets a damaged kidney.

Macadamia Nuts – Learned about this danger from a guy at Home Depot whose pit bull got sick from them. Ends up these nuts contain a toxin that can mess up a pet’s muscles and digestive system.

Microwave oven – Yes, this can be deadly. But only if you put Fluffy inside to dry her fur.

Nice smelling potpourri - Liquid potpourri, especially, can make a pet sick. Since some potpourri smells good enough for your pet to eat, he’ll try to. Some of these contain oils that can breed ulcers in an animal’s mouth, throat and gastrointestinal tract. Stick to incense – just don’t let Sawyer chew the burning stick or leave the stick burning unattended so pets can knock it awry.

Onions and garlic – One pooch was rushed to an emergency vet during Passover, Good Housekeeping reports. Ends up the dog ate too much of grandma’s chopped liver that was rife with onions and garlic. Both can upset the digestive system and harm red blood cells.

Pennies – Most coins are just the right size to choke on, but pennies also contain zinc. Zinc in a pet’s stomach can end up with anemia and kidney problems. Pennies minted after 1982 are made almost entirely of zinc.

Quilts – These, and other cozy, wraparounds, may seem like the most harmless thing around. But if your pet rips one open and decides to chew up and swallow the stuffing, you’ve got yourself a sick friend. My former puppy Lulu did a number on all the living room pillows one day. Thankfully they were cheap pillows with stuffing chunks too big and hefty for her to swallow – that was also too big and hefty to be vacuumed.

Rocks – Sawyer’s rock experiment involved stomach surgery. He ate a handful of them, one of which was about three inches long that went down his throat OK but then lodged sideways and blocked the opening to his intestine.

Illustration Ryn Gargulinski

Sugar substitutes – Diet sodas, chewing gum, toothpaste and other foodstuffs that contain the sweetener Xylitol can cause liver damage and low blood sugar in dogs.

Toilet – Close that lid. In addition to the germs pets can pick up from licking the bowl, pet birds can fall in and drown. It’s bad feng shui to leave the lid open, anyway.

Ultra-fresh cleaners – Any cleaner poses a potential pet hazard, but those with pine oil are especially hazardous. Even a small amount of the fresh-smelling stuff can cause liver damage in cats.

Vacuum cleaners – Do not – repeat – do not use a vacuum to clean your pet’s fur.

Washing machine/dryer – See Microwave oven.

Walnuts – No chocolate-walnut Christmas cookies for Fido, please.

Xtermination supplies – These include insecticides, rat poison and rodent, roach and other traps of any sort. Ever see what happens when your cat gets into the glue trap? Hopefully you never will.

Yeast dough – At the very least, secure the yeast.

Zippers, thread, needles, sewing machines and other stitching items.

Sources: GoodHousekeeping.com, HealthyPet.com, Humane Society of the United States, past reading materials and experience, guy with pit bull at Home Depot.

Has your pet had a run in with any of the above?

What other pet hazards have you run across?

You can invest in tons of specialized equipment, tour guides and ghost finders to catch a glimpse of an otherworldly spirit.

Scaredy cat/Ryn Gargulinski

Or you can just get a pet.

No matter how domesticated our pets may be, they never lose their sense of being one with the energy around them, according to the site GlobalPsychics.com. Animals also lack all our distracting brain clutter.

Some ghosts also have a very strong odor that is easily picked up by our furry friends, the site adds.

Hence cats, dogs and other animals have the acute ability to see or sense things we may miss.

Just ask Sawyer.

When I first adopted him we lived in a haunted farmhouse that doubled as the oldest structure in Curry County, Oregon.

It had served as a wagon station, post office and home to many before it was rented to us.

Haunted farmhouse, Brookings Ore./Ryn Gargulinski

It also had a dead man in the attic. No, not rotting about, but in the form of his discontent and frustrated ghost.

The man had reportedly hung himself or was murdered.

The man screeched on our second day in the house, just as I was trying to nail a picture hook near the kitchen ceiling, right below the attic.

From that point on, Sawyer refused to leave the bedroom. He’d sit on the bed all day and had to go in and out through the bedroom window. No way would he walk through the house. He could jump out the window just fine, but I had to lift him up to hoist him back in.

He was still slender then, only about 65 pounds (he’s now up to 85).

Creepy bed in creepy attic/Ryn Gargulinski

Sawyer would also stare incessantly at the closet, which had no door. We would both cringe at the heavy footsteps we often heard from above.

Although he sorely misses the ocean, Sawyer was quite relieved when we moved to Tucson. He’s since taken over every home, thinking it absurd to remain only in the bedroom.

Sawyer has not spotted any ghosts in Tucson, at least none that I know of, although he does get weird sometimes. But I think that’s just because, ghosts or not, he is weird.

There are plenty of haunted areas in Tucson, with some ghost tours coming up from my favorite Tucson Ghost Girl, Rebecca Petithory-Hayes. Next one up is 6:30 p.m. on Sept. 18. Meet at Jacome Plaza. Click HERE for more details on her Facebook page.

Not sure if she allows pets, but I know Sawyer would not be happy on one of those things.

Pets were not allowed in the Whaley House, the most haunted house in America and inspiration for this post, and probably with good reason. Sawyer would have chewed up the antiques in terror. Phoebe would have just barked at anything, no matter what it was.

But I’m not sure what either would have done if they spied the ghost dog that roams the Whaley House, the family pet terrier that’s been spotted on the Whaley couple’s bed.

Maybe they’d try to chew it’s leg off and only get a mouthful of air.

Creepy window in creepy attic/Ryn Gargulinski

Has your pet ever spotted a ghost?

Where? What happened?

Did the animal want to learn more or cower in terror as Sawyer does?