All dog owners think their own pooch is the coolest, finest and most gorgeous dog in the world – but are they the smartest?

Sawyer, Phoebe and I took a gander at the top 10 smartest dogs in the world, as listed by PetMedsOnline.com, and I would say it sounds good to me.

Sawyer is smart enough to steal my slippers/Ryn Gargulinski

Sawyer and Phoebe, however, think the smartest dogs are those that are mixed breeds, like themselves, but they said I could post the list anyway.

Top 10 Smartest Dog Breeds in the World

1. Border Collie – Tops other breeds in agility and obedience (unless yours chews up your carpet pads). Very active, fun and so gosh darn cute. Hi, Cooper!

2. Poodle – Easy to train, pleasant demeanor. I recall one owned by a Brooklyn magician named Champ the Wonderdog.

3. German Shepherd – Rin Tin Tin!

4. Golden Retriever – This dog gets on every top 10 list: most affectionate, best family dog, most popular, etc., etc., etc.

5. Doberman Pinscher – Protective, fearless, gorgeous as a fashion model.

5 ½. The Sawyer – I’m kidding. Just seeing if you’re paying attention.

6. Shetland Sheepdog – Sometimes wary of strangers but devoted to their masters.

7. Labrador Retriever – One of the top family dogs (after the Golden Retriever, of course).
Cute, cool and o-so-friendly.

8. The Papillon – Easy to train, affectionate, awesome puffy ears which leads to them being named the French word for butterfly.

9. Rottweiler – Courageous, reliable and fun to scare neighbors with. If I didn’t have a Sawyer/Phoebe I’d love to have a Rottweiler.

10. Australian Cattle Dog – Love to herd, play and be very active, both physically and mentally.

What do you think? Do you agree with the list?

Have you ever met a dumb Doberman or idiot Poodle?

Is your dog smarter than all these combined? Please explain.

Tucsonan Edie Jarolim saw her dog yawn so she wrote a book.

Edie Jarolim with Frankie, the inspiration for her new book/submitted photo

Well, it’s a bit more complicated than that – but not much.

Prolific author and editor Jarolim adopted her first dog, Frankie, a 10-year-old terrier mix, when she was already an adult – and found she had so many questions.

“Not having grown up with dogs, I was clueless about the species in general and Frankie in particular, so I was a bit panicked when I first found myself cohabiting with this strange creature,” she said.

“I worried about everything, from what to feed him to whether his yawns meant I was boring him. As a result, I read lots of books on dogs and asked lots of questions from anyone and everyone who might know the answers.”

She figured other folks may be asking the same questions she had and pitched the book to an editor at Alpha/Penguin, which already published one of her travel books.

Jarolim's new book comes out Sept. 1/submitted photo

“Am I Boring My Dog? And 99 Other Things Every Dog Wishes You Knew” was born.

The book officially comes out Sept. 1, but you can order it in advance. Illustrations were done by Tucson’s Monte Workman of Moia Group, who also designed and illustrated Jarolim’s website.

Jarolim said surefire ways to bore a dog include ignoring them, not giving them enough exercise or sticking them with a really crummy book to read.

“War and Pee” and “The Great Catsby” are two titles that could have dogs’ eyes rolling back in their head from ennui, and Joralim is holding a contest for others. Enter to win a free copy of “Am I Boring My Dog?” and see more than 100 other hilarious title suggestions by clicking here.

In the six months it took to write the manuscript, Jarolim found herself learning so much about man’s – and woman’s – best friend.

She collected questions from fellow dog lovers, including TucsonCitizen.com food blogger Karyn Zoldan, and they range from how to deal with a digging dog to how to clean out a dog’s creepy eyejam, with 98 others in between.

Jarolim figures she’s not boring Frankie, as he gets plenty of exercise with long morning walks and frequent playtime in the yard with his favorite squeaky chile toy.

Socializing dogs at dog parks is another awesome outlet, but Frankie is on the shy side and steers clear of such venues.

“Yes, he would prefer I devote every waking minute to him, but I don’t believe he’s bored,” she said. “And luckily, like most dogs, he sleeps a great deal, which allows me to get some work done.”

Her myriad other projects include “The Collected Poems of Paul Blackburn,” which she edited and wrote an introduction for, and guidebooks that include “The Complete Idiot’s Travel Guide to Mexico’s Beach Resorts” and “Arizona for Dummies.” Her works have been published everywhere from National Geographic Traveler to the Wall Street Journal, and she serves as a contributing dining editor for Tucson Guide. Whew.

“I’ve had a rather eclectic literary career,” she said.

Some folks wonder how the heck she got from being a travel writer to a dog writer, and she’ll be telling that tale – with Frankie in tow – at Odyssey Storytelling, an event organized by our Telling Stories blogger Penelope Starr, on Sept. 10 at Hotel Congress.

Anyone who needs more info prior to that, can take a few hints from Jarolim to insure their dog is not bored, even if he’s yawning.

She said one way to keep dogs excited is by encouraging them to do what comes naturally to their breed.

“Border collies love to herd sheep, for example,” she said. “Since most people don’t keep sheep in their homes, activities geared towards dogs’ natural drives are organized to divert them — including agility trials, flying disc (a.k.a. Frisbee) contests, even dancing with dogs. You can find some of these in every city.”

Sawyer’s natural activity seems to be eating treats. Phoebe’s is definitely barking at air. And Frankie, well, he must be bred to love his squeaky chile toy.

—

See Edie around town:

Odyssy Storytelling with Edie and Frankie
Sept. 10, 7 p.m.
Hotel Congress, 311 E. Congress St.

Book signing – dogs welcome at all of the below
Sept. 18
5:30 to 7 p.m. – Yappy Hour cocktails and raffle for the Humane Society of Southern Arizona
7 to 8 p.m. – Book reading and signing
Loews Ventana Canyon Resort, 7000 N. Resort Road

You can enter the contest to add the title of a book that would bore a dog, but what about book titles that would excite a dog?

Or those that would bore or excite other animals?

Spotting a desert tortoise around Tucson may be no big deal – unless that tortoise happens to be taking downtown by storm.

And this dude, named Tank, was storming.

Tanks takes Congress Street/Ryn Gargulinski

The tantalizing tortoise was rambling so fast that the folks milling around Congress Street Saturday needed to do a double take.

Several folks, standing outside the Rialto Theater on a break from the Woodstock tribute concert,  said he was too fast to be for real. Others thought he was a robot.

Well, at least one woman thought he was a robot.

Others agreed it was very unusual to see a tortoise move so quickly when the creeping beasts are best known for falling behind hares in major races.

Tank treks at top speed/Ryn Gargulinski

Tank was certainly top speed, hitting an average of at least two city blocks per half hour, his owner joked.

The owner was also pulling a Tank wagon alongside the 100-year-old gorgeous critter, lest Tank tank out and need a ride.

“He’s old enough to have been at the original Woodstock,” the owner said, although he did not add what bands the tortoise would have preferred.

He said Tank’s life expectancy was 200, so the century-old tortoise was merely middle age.

Go, Tank, go!

Do you have a pet that rivals Sawyer? E-mail photo and comments to rynski@tucsoncitizen.com

Follow Sawyer on Twitter or he’ll step on your foot.

Sawyer’s gone swimming and Phoebe, who won’t get in any water deeper than her knees, is sunbathing on the rocks. We shall return Tues., Aug. 11. Leave some furry friends blog ideas in the comments below so we have reason to return (haha).

In the meantime, check out the Snappy or Crappy vacation special on Rynski’s Blogski.

Sawyer swimming at the YMCA/Photo Ryn Gargulinski

Phoebe chilling on the rocks/Photo Ryn Gargulinski

Anyone who thinks turkeys are only good for Thanksgiving dinner has never owned them as pets.

The brawny birds can create quite a spectacle, especially when they start to fight. While animal fighting was just outlawed in Arizona, we don’t think turkey owners will get cited if the birds start tussling on their own.

Tusslin' turkeys/submitted photo

This glorious turkey duo was owned by loyal reader A. Farley, who still has one of the Toms on hand. He adopted out the other one to an American Indian who wanted the feathers.

Close up/submitted photo

Turkeys first go at it by flapping each other with their wings, then kicking, scratching and clawing with their feet. Once they tire of that, they start shoving their beaks down each other’s throats.

How can Sawyer ever compare to that?

Once the throat cultures are complete, the turkeys return to their normal state as if nothing happened at all.

He said farmers are known to cut of the turkey’s wattle, or the red dangling thing that hangs from their beaks, so they don’t fight.

Don’t know why that works. Don’t know why people continue to ruin Thanksgiving yams by putting marshmallows in them, either.

Do you have a pet that rivals Sawyer? E-mail photo and comments to rynski@tucsoncitizen.com

Follow Sawyer on Twitter or he’ll throw you to the turkeys.

Dogs already excel at playing catch, fetch and Frisbee, it’s only natural to expand their sporting repertoire to include some yoga.

Tucson used to have at least one class of yoga for dogs in the thriving shop Muttropolis, but the place went out of business. Guess it wasn’t so thriving after all.

You can still get instruction, however, with yoga for dogs videos and DVDs, one of which was created by Mesa yoga instructor Amy Stevens.

Or you can follow my lead and just wing it. Every time I do yoga, I have to put down at least two mats since Sawyer and Phoebe like to join me.

Sawyer enjoying a yoga side stretch/Ryn Gargulinski

Sometimes they kind of engage in the poses while other times they just paw at my head when I’m doing a backbend or headstand.

Dogs have the uncanny ability to know when you have no use of your hands.

Certain poses are great for canines. In fact, two of them – downward facing dog and upward facing dog – were named after them.

Other poses, like the handstand, half-moon pose or Warrior II, may not be so dog friendly.

We heard a Jane Fonda workout for dogs may be on the way, as is a rowing machine that has special attachments for dog paws. Please know I’m kidding.

While dogs, and even horses, can excel at yoga, cats don’t give a dang. Since cats never come when you call them, please don’t expect them to actually have to discipline to try the cat pose. The only possible action they’ll have on the yoga mat may be clawing it to shreds.

Other animals, even those who also have poses named after them, aren’t very adept at yoga, either. Folks shouldn’t try to get an actual cow to do the cow pose, a camel to engage in the camel pose or a dove-like bird to dive into the king pigeon pose.

It just won’t work. Besides, the cow hooves may ruin the mat worse than the cat claws would.

Does your dog do yoga? Pilates? Sit ups?

What exercise does your pet most enjoy?