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What are your holiday stories?

by on Dec. 22, 2009, under Arts

If you Google “holiday stories” you will have some choices – funny, inspirational, classic, or for kids.  I chose the funny link and found these stories at City-Data.com.

“My aunt once served pheasant with the buckshot still in it”.

“I inadvertently grabbed the breast milk when I was ordered to fetch the cream!”

And this one that cracked me up:

Okay, 25 years ago, my brother is an actor, and he’s up in Anchorage, Alaska, for Christmas.

He sends down a big UPS box that arrives at my mother’s house when my sister, my brother-in-law, and my brother happen to be there. My mother is off running errands.

So we unpack the box, which is filled with presents, 70_15each nicely wrapped. And at the bottom is a small Glad bag filled with an herb that looks suspiciously like….well, you can guess. There’s a tag attached that says, “A little extra Christmas cheer.”

Well, my sister, bro-in-law, and bro all look at each other, and my brother produces some rolling papers. A few minutes later, they’re smoking a doobie on my mother’s back deck (I don’t partake). My buddy Keith shows up, and he decides he wants a hit. They’re all sitting around toking, speculating on how good the joint is.

Christmas afternoon, my brother calls from Anchorage and asks how we liked our gifts. After the usual Christmas chitchat, he asks, “Well, how did the cat like hers?” My sister asks, “What are you talking about?”

“Well, the catnip I sent her for Christmas.” We all started howling.

So the catnip story comes up every Christmas now.

dinner1One of my family stories is about the time I decided to spark up the Thanksgiving menu by serving a very exotic and delicious smoked pheasant. It was met with little enthusiasm by my very traditional eaters.  So the next year I outdid myself with a shrimp stuffed filet of sole to see if I could inspire them to creative holidays meals.  No go, they demanded their turkey. What is it with people’s insistence on repetitive rituals?

What are your holiday stories?

This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 22nd, 2009 at 12:44 pm and is filed under Arts. Tags for this post: , , , . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

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  • karynzoldan

    My mother never had a dishwasher; I’m not sure why. Because I was the dishwasher and dish dryer.
    All I can remember about the holidays are lots of people, lots of food, and lots of dishes to wash and dry.
    I do remember one holiday, maybe Thanksgiving when I was very young — maybe 5. All my aunts wanted me to kiss them so I walked down the line and kissed all but Aunt Fay. She was loud — probably scary to a 5-year-old and pinched my cheeks, hard. I refused to kiss Aunt Fay.
    Aunt Fay was my father’s sister. He said if I didn’t kiss Aunt Fay I would get spanked. I guess I tested him and lost. I got a rare spanking.
    I do recall happier holidays but that one jumped to the top of the shelf.
     

  • Penelope Starr

    Thanks for sparking my memory Karyn.

    My grandmother’s house didn’t have a dishwasher and I remember my grandfather, sleeves rolled up on his white starched shirt, at the sink after dinner washing and drying and (I think) enjoying time away from the crowd.

  • sheila wilensky

    My parents owned a flower shop, Cherry Hill Gardens, in Waterbury, Conn., where I grew up. I’ve always had a difficult time with the month of December. Guess it’s because my parents were always busy selling Christmas trees and gifts, but my brother and I didn’t receive any presents because we were Jewish. No time for Chanukah.  More work for me as the daughter at home in an old-fashioned household. I still always look forward to January — especially living in Tucson with no snow or the dreaded black ice!

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