Telling Stories

Storytelling is the “mother” of all communications. Every art form relies on Story to convey meaning. Despite this truth, many communicators only approach storytelling as an adjunct to their speaking and presenting. For this quick article, Sean Buvala is speaking about oral storytelling, not digital storytelling that does not rely or build on a presenter’s public speaking skills. He suggests that mastering oral or traditional storytelling should be at the top of every speaker’s list of priorities.

Here are three foundational reasons that storytelling helps you improve your presentations skills:

1.   Storytelling teaches you to think on your feet. When you learn to be a good storyteller, telling stories to all sizes of audiences from 2 or 2000 people, you must learn to adjust your energy and pace to match the audience reaction. “Reading” or understanding the mood, energy and desires of your audience is a good communication skill at all levels.

2.   Storytelling teaches you to be spontaneous. While you are learning to tell a story, you focus on thinking about your story in an outline form, or episode-by-episode. Good storytellers do not memorize their stories word-for-word and do not use notes or other ways of reading their stories. No matter how you are communicating, it is never a good idea to deliver a canned, memorized speech to anyone. As a storyteller, you learn to rely on your ability to “see” a story as it happens, letting different parts of the story take precedence at different times. You will never tell a story the same way twice just as you should never speak to an audience like any audience before it.

3.   Storytelling helps you to think about the deeper meanings of your content. Almost all stories carry some type of moral or ethical message and understanding. As you adapt personal and world stories to your presentations, you will start thinking deeper about the meaning of your communications. Of course, you may or may not act on those meanings, but you will generally find your presentations more satisfying as you understand their impact on your listeners.

All cultures use storytelling.  Storytelling is a universal language and a core-skill for all presenters.  My best public-speaking tip: seek out learning and coaching in the art of storytelling and work stories into all your presentations.

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Thanks to Sean Buvala,  professional storyteller, the director of Storyteller.net and a nationally recognized storytelling consultant for permission to use this article. Please see his website to learn more about his storytelling techniques for corporate training. You can learn how to tell a story through his Ebook at at www.storytelling101.com

I was sitting at an outdoors cafe in the Santa Monica 3rd Street Promenade last week, sipping some overpriced tea and trying to write a bit.  I pulled out my Dell 9″ mini notebook and logged into the citywide free internet to check my email.  It was a bit chilly by Tucson standards so I was trying to catch some rays by sitting closest to the pedestrian walkway.

A nicely dressed, middle aged woman carrying two shopping bags came up to me with a friendly smile and remarked that she’d never seen such a little laptop and wanted to know about it.  Since I’m a polite person and because she seemed nice enough, I stopped what I was doing and answered some of her questions.

One half hour later, I knew her whole life story and the only reason she departed was because she had a hair appointment.  Some of what I learned is that she is divorced, lives alone, has grown children, is an avid reader and wants to write a children’s book.

She told me that she lives a few blocks away from where we met and she frequents the Promenade on a regular basis.  I think she is lonely and needs people to talk to.  I think she needs to tell her story.

How often do you hear complicated stories from strangers?  It happens to me a lot.  I’m actually quite fascinated with hearing about people’s lives, what decisions they make and why.  I’m also intrigued by the fact that people tell me such intimate details.

I still remember the woman who sat next to me on a long plane ride to Australia who’d just been to a reunion with twins that she’d given up for adoption 30 years ago. We ended up having a nice cry together.  Or the sort-of-crazy-but-not-really old guy on a bus who gave me a great recipe for spaghetti sauce.  I’ve heard tales of woe sitting on a barstool and sweet grandchildren stories while standing in line in a department store doing some holiday shopping.

I’m a listener and they find me.

You are invited to you to share your writing about loss, death, dying, and the soul at the Spoken Word Soul Poetry event this Saturday. According to Kristen E. Nelson, Soul Poetry Coordinator there are still a few five-minute slots left for the open mic section of the event. They’re looking for writers, poets, performance artists, singer/songwriters; anyone who wants to participate is welcome. Contact Kristen at spokenword@allsoulsprocession.org, or call 520-325-9145  for more information.  But you’ve got to act FAST, it’s coming up soon.

There’s a Drop-in Performance Clinic available to those who might want to practice with an experienced performer before the event.

You won’t want to miss featured performers Maggie Golston, Doc Luben, Emilie Marchand, Elizabeth “Frankie” Rollins, Gregory Sale, Movement Salon, and Tom Walbank.

The festivities will be held on Saturday November 7 from 7 to 10 p.m. at the Library Plaza, 101 North Stone Ave.  This event is free and open to the public.

The All Souls Procession Weekend organized by Many Mouths One Stomach presents many amazing and unique activities, including the All Souls Procession on Sunday, November 8. You won’t want to miss any of it; it’s what makes Tucson such an amazing place!

What are your stories from past All Souls happenings?

Edie Jarolim told a story about how being a nervous first time dog owner lead her to writing a book for new owners called Am I Boring My Dog. Kim Lowry told about writing and presenting a play about her recovery from a traumatic brain injury.  Jerry Farnsworth was in El Tour de Tucson when he had a heart attack and recovered to tell the story of the insights he had because of the experience.

Silver Linings: The Gratitude Show, stories about things working much better than expected, was the theme at a recent Odyssey Storytelling event.  Seven tellers got up on stage and shared important personal life-changing stories to a very appreciative audience.  Not only did the tellers feel empowered by the experience but the audience was inspired and moved by the stories of loss and triumph.  People were able to identify with the theme, if not the exact circumstances of a story, and offer the teller empathy and understanding.

Diverse themes are chosen for the precise purpose of covering a great range of the human experience.  Sometimes the stories are humorous and sometimes they bring tears to the eye, both are valid ways of expressing a feeling. But the most important element is that people tell their truth as they see it. There’s a real human need to be heard and to be seen exactly as we are with no pretense.  If the audience is a room full of strangers or just one other person, the power of storytelling can transform people’s lives.

I always tell people that public storytelling is not therapy, but it’s therapeutic.

If you want to tell your story on stage, contact me.

In The Story Factor: Inspiration, Influence and Persuasion Through the Art of Storytelling, Annette Simmons tells us  ”There are six types of stories that will serve you well in your efforts to influence others.

1. Who I Am Stories
2. Why I Am Here Stories
3. The Vision Story
4. Teaching Stories
5. Values-in-Action Stories
6. I Know What You Are Thinking Stories “

She sees telling stories as a mini-documentary; a way of getting information across in a powerful and agreeable way.  She says that people don’t want more information, they want to believe in you and your project.  Creating and delivering a story is the path to generating that belief.  She goes on to say:

Basically, a story is a narrative account of an event or events – true or fictional. The difference between giving an example and telling a story is the addition of emotional content and added sensory details in the telling.  . . . Whether the details are factual or not, good stories always have an element of Truth (with a capital “T”) in them.

And it’s this Truth that evokes the kind of listening necessary to motivate, persuade and inspire in a way that factual telling with a PowerPoint presentation just can’t do.  You can’t make someone listen to you but you can entice and fascinate.

Is this a nasty plot designed to make you do what you don’t want to do? It can be if misused (remember Charlie Manson) but basically I think it just describes the way humans work.  I heard a story on NPR today about how people tend to disclose more personal information online if the website is casual looking and tend to withhold if it’s more formal – Facebook v. Wells Fargo.

We might think that we’re totally rational beings but we are ruled by many other aspects of our psyches.  Understanding how this works gives you the tools to win friends and influence people.

Ocotillo Poetry Slam presents a totally new event that will, according to their email announcement, change the entire way you look at the world!

Join in the fun at Robots, Zombies, and Mad Scientists on Saturday, October 24 at 7:30 p.m. at the Mat Bevel Institute / Museum of Kinetic Sculpture, 530 N Stone Ave (just north of 6th St).  It’s an all ages show and for only five bucks you can witness ”an urgent, life-or-death spoken word showcase to help prepare our community for upcoming apocalyptic struggles.”

They will addressing questions like:

* What kind of apocalypse is best for OUR community?

* Should we place our trust in the Scientific Genius driven mad by his lust for power, or on the Genius Scientist driven insane by hubris?

* What kind of boundaries should you set for your own zombie as he reaches older, more challenging stages of decomposition?

You’ll see all new work by some of your favorite Arizona poets and help “take the next step into a promising world of wild anarchy and horror.”  The show will be hosted by Doc Luben, with Maya Asher as The Disciplinarian and will include a feature performance by Paulie Lipman as well as an Underdog Monsters Haiku Death Match.  Since it’s almost Halloween, you are, of course, invited to come in costume.

For more info or if you want to get on their email list, contact Lindsay Miller <linzm@email.arizona.edu>

Did you know that Finland is the first country in the world to make broadband internet access a legal requirement. According to a story on NPR, spokesperson Suvi Linden said that broad band connections with speedy access are a necessity for all of the nations five million people.

I consider it a necessity too.  Technology has a way of taking over chunks of our lives – in a good way.  I’m a bit weary of hearing how “addictive” the internet can be and how bad it is that we spend time in front of a screen.  I enjoy it, both in the way it enhances connections in my life and in the challenge of learning new things.  I love that I can keep in touch with friends on Facebook, send out updates about my businesses by email, buy plane tickets to visit my grandchildren, print out coupons, pay my bills, share this blog, etc., etc.  All this in the privacy of my own home without burning up any gasoline.

For me, its even more fun when I have the right tools to do the job.  I just upgraded to a fancy new computer and I’m a very happy camper. I’m in that new love affair euphoric place  - I can’t wait to get home to see it, I stay up too late hanging out with it, I’m neglecting my other obligations, and I want to know everything about it.

I thought my old computer was just fine but now that I’ve made the switch I realize that the old keyboard was the equivalent of a 1920’s Royal manual typewriter in comparison and the monitor suddenly looks out of focus.  I guess it’s like driving a perfectly reliable old clunker for years and not knowing what you’re missing with cruise control and power steering.

The technologies, like high speed internet, are a means to an end of course.  To me it all boils down to having yet another tool in my bag of tricks for strengthening my link with others. Making connections and being able to communicate in more effective and efficient ways, is the payoff.

Anything that makes telling our stories easier is OK in my book.

I just found The Experience Project online.  It tells you to Be Yourself, Be Real and to anonymously connect with people just like you.  They claim to have had 3,253,248 stories shared.  The stories are divided into catagories:  experiences, confessions, challenges, dreams or advice.

You can search the site by groups i.e. “I Live in a Sexless Marriage” (7388 members) , “I Like to Read” (8674 members), or “I am a New Member at Experience Project” (8658 members).  I guess it’s reassuring to know that more members read than don’t have sex with their partners.

OK, I confess, I went to the confessions.  It told me I was not alone, and that secrets are best shared with friends.  When I join the network I will have millions of friends.  Some of the categories I perused were love, family, venting, funny and other.   Here’s an example of an other confession:

Vegetarian pain: oh my goodness … I SO want to eat some chicken. It’s not just that I’m hungry right now; I want chicken. I’m not a full-blown vegetarian or vegan so it’s OK if I have it but I’m striving to be as vegetarian & vegan as I possibly can. If I fight this craving, it’s a victory all around.

And a funny story that I didn’t think was so funny:

I made my dog fall on her face:  I have a wiener dog named Pebbles. Well, she was sitting on my lap today and started barking at my german shepherd. So in an attempt to keep Pebbles from getting in a fight with the shepherd, I lifted my leg so she couldn’t jump over it. But instead of preventing her from jumping it made her lose her balance and she fell on her face. She even lost a tooth. I felt so bad that I’m letting her sleep with me tonight.

I Googled anonymous stories and came up with a bunch of other online resources:

A Story to Share collects and shares true stories of heartache and love from all over the world

Stop Our Silence are anonymous testimonies of survivors of sexual violence

America Anonymous is a site for sharing addiction and recovery stories

Stories Told is a place people with eating disorders can share

You can read Coming Out Stories on the All Things Queer Gay and Lesbian Issues website

And the mother of all confessionals, Post Secret, which started with postcards and is now a fancy website with their own song.

It seems that there are ample opportunities to tell stories but I must confess that I’m still most interested in seeing the face of the person telling.

How about you?  Is anonymous better than facing up?

We are just starting the too-much-to-do season.  Here are some upcoming events to add to your calendar.

Finding Voice Project is presenting a retrospective exhibition (2006-2009) of photography, writing and digital stories produced by international students at Tucson’s Catalina Magnet High School. Through their images, words and digital stories they will take you on a very personal journey from the countries they emigrated from - Afghanistan, Bhutan, Ghana, India, Iraq, Ivory Coast, Kenya, Kuwait, Liberia, Mexico, Nepal, Marshall Islands, Russia, Sierra Leone, Somalia, Sudan, Vietnam - to a Tucson you have likely never seen before.

Finding Voice is a literacy and visual arts program in Tucson dedicated to helping refugee and immigrant youth in English Language Development (ELD) classes at Catalina Magnet High School develop their literacy skills by researching, photographing, writing, and speaking out about critical social issues in their lives.

The show will be at the Union Gallery, 3rd Floor of Student Union, University of Arizona from October 16 – November 13, Monday – Friday from noon to 6 p.m.  The opening reception is on Friday, October 16 from 5 to 7 p.m. with an artist talk starting at 6.  Call 520-621-6142 for more info.

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A party to raise funds for the 2010 Tucson Poetry Festival takes place on Friday, October 16 from 6 to 10 p.m. at 2020 E. 4th Street.

You can enjoy beer, wine, food, poetry and good company while supporting the efforts of the 2010 festival. There will be a silent auction/raffle including works by Sherwin Bitsui, G. Foushee, and Gavin Troy. Tickets are $20 and can be purchased through your poetry festival friend, or at Antigone Books, 411 N. 4th Ave.

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A benefit for Chax Press and Voices, Inc will feature a book launch and celebration with authors Linh Dinh, Stephanie Balzer and Jonathan Rothschild on Friday, October 30 at 7 p.m. at the Rogue Theatre, 300 E. University.  Food and drink will be available.  Tickets are $10.  Call 620-1626 for more info.

Chax Press is a Tucson nonprofit literary and book arts organization with programs in literary publishing, fine art bookmaking, education and exhibitions.

VOICES is a community-based nonprofit organization that provides youth with safe space, positive relationship and skills training to document real-life stories.  Their mission is to”mentor low-income youth to tell their personal, family, neighborhood, tribal, and community stories so they can strengthen their cognitive, artistic, emotional, leadership, and higher education skills. Youth who are creative, resilient, educated and active citizens are youth who benefit themselves, their families and our community now and in the future.”

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POG- Poetry in Action -  is a “collective of poets, literary critics and practitioners of other art forms who have joined together in Tucson to offer public programming and other related events, which will promote active appreciation of and engagement with avant-garde artistic work in a variety of media, especially poetry and multi-disciplinary art.”

Some of their upcoming events include:

November 13, 2009, 7 p.m. to 2 a.m., Aural Pleasure Extravaganza Benefit for POG, music, poetry, dancing at Club Congress, 311 E. Congress St.

November 21, 2009, 7 p.m., Myung Mi Kim and Barbara Henning, The Drawing Studio, 33 S. Sixth Ave.

December 12, 2009, 7 p.m., Tony Luebbermann and Stephanie Balzer – The Drawing Studio, 33 S. Sixth Ave.

You’re hanging out in your kitchen with a few friends and someone pinches her finger in a nutcracker. Ow! It reminds her of the time when she was three or four and couldn’t resist poking her tiny finger into an even tinier hole in a pole and it got stuck and she had to stand out in the cold with tears freezing on her face until her sister ran for help.

Everyone laughs at the image and some one says, that reminds me of the time . . . and you’re off on an adventure of spontaneous storytelling . A theme has been established and the stories will flow from one tale of pain to another of humiliation, each person’s story triggered by the memories stirred up by the last teller. Even the quieter people who may not be sharing, have their personal recollections running through their heads.

Sometimes the theme is arbitrarily chosen for you, like if you’re in a class or workshop or telling on stage. Once the theme is set, the creative juices can flow around the idea and you are free to exploit your stored memories for an escapade that fits. Sometimes making it fit is part of the creative process.

A number of years ago I produced an Odyssey Storytelling themed Creepy. One person told of working in a hospital and her job was to store body parts that were removed during surgery in refrigerators in the basement. Ugg. Another told of being terrified by a ghostly encounter in a grave yard. Eek. And the man who liked to wear women’s clothing said he was fine with it but other people thought he was creepy. Wow. So many variations, so many imaginative ways to explore one concept.

The theme can be as simple as Masks or Airport Stories. Although it may seem counterintuitive, the narrower the topic is, the easier it is to find something from your life. If I just said, tell me a story, where would you start? If I said, tell me a story from your freshman year in high school; or better yet, tell me about your first day of high school, I’m pretty sure your memory would be jogged to produce something with detail and personal history.

It doesn’t have to be funny or mean or embarrassing. By sharing your story, I get to know a little more about you. And in turn I learn a little more about myself.