One day Chicken Little stepped out of his coop to look for his breakfast. Following scattered bits of seed and scurrying bugs he ended up under the oak tree. An acorn fell from the tree and struck him right in the middle of his nearly empty head.
“Ouch!” he exclaimed, “Oh my, the sky is falling!”
He hurried off to warn everyone of the impending disaster.
The first person he ran into was Teacher Leacher, the man who ran the Charter school for Advancing Chicken’s Knowledge (CACK!).
Chicken Little had formerly attended PSC #43 Saunders Public School for Chickens but it had been closed because of declining enrollment after the local news sources had reported that less than 40% of the eggs being produced could be classified as Grade A, Extra Large.
Teacher Leacher stopped him and asked Chicken Little where he was going?
“I’m going to warn everyone that the sky is falling!”
“Oh, how do you know this?”
“I just learned it, a piece hit me on the head.”
“Oh well if you have just learned it I have to give you a standardized test about your lesson before you can go on.”
“It’s the law.”
“Oh, OK I’ll take the test.”
“First question, ‘What was the first thing you did today? A) Wake up, B) Eat a banana, C) Attack a fox.’”
“That’s easy — A) I woke up.”
“Good that’s correct. Next question, ‘What happened when you left your house? A) You put on your shoes, B) You were hit on the head or C) You read a book.’”
“What are shoes?”
“That’s not important I’m not teaching now, I’m testing you. Answer the question.”
“What were the answers?”
“Listen carefully, I can only say them one more time, A) You put on your shoes, B) You were hit on the head or C) You read a book.”
“Oh yeah, I was hit on the head, see.” Chicken Little pointed at the spot.
“Great, that’s two correct, last question, ‘What was it that hit you on the head? A) an elephant, B) an acorn or C) a piece of the sky.’”
“Hmmm,” replied Chicken Little, “that’s a tough one, I don’t think it was an elephant that hit me, I suppose it could have been an acorn, but my first thought was it was a piece of the sky.”
“You should answer all the questions. Make your best guess if you are not sure.”
“Uh huh, well I heard on Sesame Street that if you are taking an objective test your first guess is usually right and I thought first that it was a piece of the sky . . .”
“You heard about how to take a test on Sesame Street?” Teacher Leacher said with some surprise.
“It might have been CNN. Anyway I’m going to go with my first thought, it was C) a piece of the sky.”
“Oh I’m sorry, that’s wrong.
“It was an elephant??”
“No, it was an acorn. Now lets see what your score is, you answered two out of three questions correctly so you get a 67%.”
“Is that good?”
“No I’m sorry you have to get a 75% to go on. I’m afraid you have failed the test.”
“What does that mean?”
“Well, you can be retested.”
“Oh OK let’s do that.”
“I can’t give you the retest until tomorrow.”
“It’s the law. In the meantime I need you to study for the retest.”
“But you already told me the answer to the question I got wrong.”
“Of course I did, you got it wrong didn’t you? I had to tell you the right answer.”
“Well I think I will remember it tomorrow.”
“I’m sorry but that’s not good enough, state mandated protocol demands that you be retaught the lesson” he handed Chicken Little two books, “so I want you to read this selection, “Oak Trees from Little Acorns Grow.” and do pages thirteen through twenty five in your “Forests” workbook.”
“But I can’t read.”
“You can’t read? Well, I can tell you this my little chick, you’ll never get past third grade if you don’t learn how to read!”
“You’re welcome, just doing my job.”