Did your Valentine stomp on your heart? Did Cupid miss and put his arrow through your head? You’ve come to the right place. We’re going to cheer you up the old fashioned way: by pointing out the flaws in everyone else.

I didn’t set out to collect depressing facts and stats. I didn’t intend to hang out with Debbie Downer, Betty Bummer and Molly Moper. They all just happen to be Pac-10 basketball fans this year.

I love you?

Are you ready for this? Do not keep reading if you’re standing on a ledge, cliff, or bridge. Do not read on if you are about to operate heavy machinery.

Three Pac-10 teams have overall losing records. A fourth is at .500. A fifth is just one game north of even. Last year only two teams had losing records. The year before that it was another two. If you like losers, this year you’re a winner.

Misery, we’ve got your company.

Thu. Feb. 18 (all times Arizona/Mountain)

UCLA (11-13 / 6-6) at WSU (15-10 / 5-8) – 6:30 p.m., FSN
In three games on Thursday and Saturday Fox Sports Net is stuck with four of the five worst teams in the conference. I hear you can get buy-one-get-one-free commercial time.

Stanford (11-14 / 5-8) at Oregon (12-12 / 4-8) – 8 p.m.
The Cardinal finally dropped a home game to end their schizophrenic season. But they’re just two losses away from completing a perfectly imperfect 0-9 road record.

Cal (17-8 / 9-4) at OSU (11-13 / 5-7) – 8:30 p.m., FSN
As bad as things have been the Bears still have a shot at a respectable 14-4 league record and they’ll be favored in every game the rest of the way. This week we’ll see if they can avoid pulling an Arizona.

Talkin’ ‘bout Schaft(enaar)

USC (15-9 / 7-5) at Washington (17-8 / 7-6) – 8:30 p.m., FSNW
Reason number 1,024 why this is a strange year: It took the Huskies 14 weeks to win their first road game, and they’re still a contender in the Pac-10.

Sat. Feb. 20

Stanford at OSU – 1 p.m., FSN
The Beavers haven’t won two straight since the first time they beat Arizona. (Ad space for this game might be free.)

USC at WSU – 3 p.m.
The Cougars have lost five of six. You don’t want to know who the win was against.

Cal at Oregon – 4 p.m.
Hey, two teams the Wildcats have beaten! Can we get the Ducks on the schedule a couple more times?

UCLA at Washington – 6 p.m., ESPN
The Huskies’ last home game of the year. I expect 85 fouls to be called.

Sun. Feb. 21

ASU (18-8 / 8-5) at ARIZONA (13-12 / 7-6) – 3:30 p.m., FSN
Even though the UA is covered with Beaver-stink, this is still the game of the week. If the Devils can beat the Cats and Cardinal on the road it would set up a huge showdown at Cal next weekend. Now that would be depressing.

It only took a month and a half but we finally have some stratification in the Pac-10 standings. The top four teams are on winning streaks. Five of the bottom six teams lost their last game.
There are only two ties to break in the real standings but, with the precision of Kyle Fogg’s jumpshot, I’m going to break them.

1. Cal (1) – Can the Bears get their first road sweep?
2. ASU (6) – You don’t need to beat good teams when they lose for you.
3. USC (2) – The Fightin’ O’Neills took care of UCLA.
4. Washington (5) – Did not lose to Oregon State.
5. ARIZONA (3) – Did.
6. UCLA (4) – At least we’re still better than the Bruins.
7. OSU (8) – Sigh.
8. Stanford (10) – Most recent head-to-head with Wazzu.
9. WSU (7) – Ended Cal game on a 0-15 run.
10. Oregon (9) – Averaging 50 points their last three games. Somewhere Luke Ridnour weeps.

In this space last week we talked about how even though the top three teams in the Pac-10 were at home the chances of them each surviving unscathed were slim. Sadly, it was the Wildcats who served up the pile of disgust.

But life is not over. The world has not ended. What’s the best way to get over a hideous breakup? Move on to someone better. For the Arizona Wildcats a win over ASU would be like a nearsighted supermodel. A chance for instant redemption is here.

Smile!

We don’t play Oregon State anymore.

You can cross that one off the list.

We can remove one goal from the Arizona Men’s Basketball 2010 wish list. This team will not be backing into our 12th Pac-10 championship (and 24th overall conference title). I don’t know what’s less likely, Arizona winning five straight or Cal losing twice, but neither is looking good.

But who wants a cheap championship anyway?

(Oh, that’s right, me. All championships count. Like we would have complained if the football team had gone to the Rose Bowl after a four-way tie for first.)

We had hoped the Cats could match the 6-3 record they posted in the first half of the conference season but right now we’re working on 3-6. We’ve completed four rematches and so far the Cats have one sweep, one split and two swept. That’s a recipe for 9-9.

So now we rewind our mindset back to where it was after the first time we played the Oregon schools, back when there was a real fear this team could end up in last place. The UA focus is no longer on the standings or scoreboard watching. The goal is back to getting better and re-peaking on Mar. 10.

Saturday’s game proved one thing: the loss at Oregon State is no longer the worst one.

OSU has five Pac-10 wins and four of them are against Oregon and Arizona. The Wildcats account for 18% of the Beavers’ total wins.

It’s tough to play contrasting styles so close together. OSU plays zone defense, and Oregon plays no defense.

After watching the second-half dunkfest against Oregon it was painful to watch the UA’s repeated attempts to shoot over the OSU zone or stop its deliberate, cut-heavy offense. When the Beavers have the ball they definitely make the students do a lot more “Boing boing” and “Pass!”

The Wildcats only scored 20 points in the first half. The football team scored 23 in a half against the Beavers this year.

As much as we blame the freshmen for this team’s inconsistency it’s the experienced guys who need to step it up. The UA rookies are asked to defend, rebound and make plays in the lane. It’s up to Nic Wise, Kyle Fogg and Jamelle Horne to do the outside shooting.

During the four-game winning streak Wise/Fogg/Horne combined to shoot 42% from deep. During this three-out-of-four losing stretch they’re only shooting a combined 27%. Fogg has had the worst of it the last two weeks as he’s only hitting 18% of his shots from behind the arc. Who knew the Tucson Fogg could be colder than the San Francisco fog?

It’s not a surprise that during the 12-2 run that temporarily eliminated Oregon State’s ten-point lead both Wise and Fogg hit a three. If those two guys don’t hit shots, shots are not going to get hit for this team.

Horne at least has the excuse that he was busy rebounding against the Beavers. It’s hard to average 7.5 boards over two games when you only get one in the first game.

Now the attention turns to the ASU game on Sunday and, believe me, the Cats certainly have the Devils’ attention. You don’t lose to your rival by 19 at home without being extra motivated for the return visit.

This is going to be ASU’s best and most focused week of practice. I wouldn’t be surprised if Herb Sendek brought out tackling dummies with Kevin Parrom’s picture on them.

The first time we met the Devils they were alone in first place. This time around they’re by themselves in second just a game off the pace. And Arizona is back in the spoiler role.

Speaking of Arizona State and spoilers, during the Arizona/Oregon game they flashed a graphic showing that Tajuan Porter was now tied for the second-most made three-pointers in Pac-10 history. The player he tied? None other than ASU’s Stevin “Hedake” Smith, point-shaver extraordinaire. If you’re ASU aren’t you rooting for guys to push Hedake further down the list?

For the record Salim Stoudamire holds the record and Jason Gardner is fourth. They chose to make baskets instead of bets.

Oh yeah, it’s Rivalry Week again.

I don’t get to go to a lot of UA basketball games. The equivalent of a Red Zone football ticket doesn’t get you very far with Wildcat hoops. If you’re like me a trip to the McKale Center is a special treat so you want to make the most of it. Here are a few suggestions for the next time you’re able to visit Lute & Bobbi Olson Court.

Work a connection. If you know someone who can give you great seats you’re set. But the next best thing is getting tickets anywhere in the building and then knowing where some higher-end empty seats will be. A friend of a friend had a friend with whom he shared season tickets. This friend told my friend that his friend would most likely not use his tickets for the 8:30 game against Oregon so we could just cruise down there and fill them. Well, not only did friend³ show up but he was early. Back to the triple-digit sections with ye!

Check out the banners. Look at the national championship and Final Fours. Admire the three banners needed to hold all the Sweet Sixteen appearances. Then ask yourself: Why don’t we count 1951 among our Sweet Sixteens? Yeah, there were only 16 teams in the tournament and we lost in the first round, but the final 16 is the final 16. You think Kentucky is embarrassed it won the national championship that year? Never forget ’51!

Get to your seat early. When the house lights go down the scoreboard blasts the intro video which is an excellent mix of highlights from the classic Arizona teams as well as this year’s squad. Besides, if you try to walk in the dark you might spill your popcorn.

Stand. Everyone in the building gets up at the start of each half until the visiting team makes a basket. And, no, free throws don’t count.

Yell, “Nice shot, buddy!” My night isn’t complete until the opposition misses the first of two free throws. The band has a back-up chant ready in case the first free throw goes in. It references an ‘80s hair band, which is never a bad thing.

Know when to shut up. Nobody – and I mean nobody – gets quieter for free throws than the McKale crowd.

Get hungry. Tacos aren’t just for football any more. If the home team hits 70 you get free Jack-in-the-Box…if you dare.

This particular game wasn’t an instant classic. It wasn’t a game of incredible individual performances (only one player scored more than 11 points for either team). For the Cats it was a game of balance. We gave up 28 points in the first half and 29 in the second half. Nine players played more than ten minutes and seven players played more than 20 minutes. Seven players had between three and six rebounds. Five players had at least two assists. Kyle Fogg had almost as many assists (8) as missed shots (0-for-9). It was a satisfying workman-like performance for the guys in the white.

Oh, I forgot the most important part of taking in a game at McKale:

Cheer for the Wildcats. Life is better when the home team wins.

All eyes will be on Berkeley Thursday night as the Washington Huskies attempt to conquer both Cal and their fear of flying. The Arizona schools need to focus only on what’s in front of them and win two games at home.

The revised power rankings are like Stanford: at the bottom.

Thu. Feb. 11
OSU (10-12 / 4-6) at ASU (16-8 / 6-5) – 6:30 p.m. (all times Arizona/Mountain)
The red-hot (for the Pac-10) Beavers have won two of their last three. To give their confidence an extra boost they beat their rival by 20.

Washington (16-7 / 6-5) at Cal (15-8 / 7-4) – 7 p.m., ESPN2
If you’ve been saving your first win away from home this would be a great time to use it.

Socks? Check. Toothbrush? Check. Win?

WSU (15-8 / 5-6) at Stanford (10-13 / 4-7) – 8 p.m.
Did the two close loses in L.A. leave the Cardinal hungry or hopeless?

Oregon (12-10 / 4-6) at ARIZONA (12-11 / 6-5) – 8:30 p.m., FSN
Must-win starts now for the Wildcats.

Sat. Feb. 13
WSU at Cal – 2 p.m., FSN
Come on, DeAngelo Casto, we need you to beat up on someone besides Arizona.

Oregon at ASU – 4 p.m., FSAZ
Can the Devils avoid looking ahead to the Kevin Parrom Revenge Game?

OSU at ARIZONA – 6 p.m., KWBA/FCS
In a year when the Cats already have hit double-digits in losses, getting beat by the Beavers remains the worst of them.

Washington at Stanford – 6 p.m., FSNW
If the Huskies can’t win this one they should just turn in their frequent flier cards.

Sun. Feb. 14
UCLA (11-12 / 6-5) at USC (14-9 / 6-5) – 8 p.m., FSN
“Happy Valentine’s Day! I made dinner reservations. You like nachos, right?”

Another week, another jumble in the middle. Fear you not, the TWIT-Pac power rankings are here to sort things out. Last week’s ranking (looks like this).

The Leader
1. Cal (2) – One win in L.A. was enough.

The 6-5s
2. USC (8) – 5-1 vs. the top half, 1-4 vs. the bottom half.
3. ARIZONA (1) – Also does better against the better teams.
4. UCLA (3) – The best sub-.500 team in America.
5. Washington (6) – Prove it this week, U-Dub. PROVE IT!
6. ASU (4) – An Ericksonian 1-5 against the upper division.

"Hello? Portland State?"
Photo by Rob Schumacher, The Arizona Republic

The Coogz
7. WSU (7) – Stuck at unlucky #7.

The Civil Warriors
8. OSU (10) – Half their four wins are against Oregon.
9. Oregon (5) – The Ducks went from on-fire to probably-getting-fired.

The Cellar
10. Stanford (9) – Good news, Cardinal fans! Home games are coming!

Logic says Cal, Arizona, and ASU will win at home to create a little separation from the pack. But we all know logic has nothing to do with the Pac-10 this year. Who is going to serve their fans a steaming pile of disgust?

And…the hopes go back down.

Nothing wipes away the excitement of two home wins faster than two road losses. With the optimism going up and then coming back down we’re back where we started. In that sense we didn’t lose anything.

Unfortunately it doesn’t feel that way.

What’s frustrating about the Washington State loss is how close the Cats came against Washington on Thursday. You wonder how a team can have its entire roster in foul trouble in a very hostile environment yet almost pull out a win, and then go into a less vicious arena with a full squad and get run out of the building in the final five minutes.

And then you remember, oh yeah, we have one senior and one junior. It’s like our guys quickly built a freshman wall and collectively ran into it.

Did the Cats hit this?

After playing almost the entire second half Saturday down by eight-to-eleven points the UA finally made a run to cut it to six. Wazzu hit a couple free throws, Jamelle Horne threw away the in-bounds pass, the Cougars scored the next ten points and that was that.

DeAngelo Casto is just one of those guys who loves playing Arizona. He averaged 17.5 points (and 0.5 buzzer-beaters) in helping the Cougars sweep the Wildcats but he’s only averaging 7.1 points against the rest of the league. I will not miss the dreadlocked one.

Thursday’s four-way tie for first gave way to everyone looking up at Cal. The Bears left L.A. with sole possession of first place and they are definitely in the driver’s seat. Cal’s remaining schedule is: at home against the Washingtons, at the Oregons, home vs. the Arizonas, and at Stanford. So that’s four home games and then road games against the three worst teams in the league. Things are looking good for Cal’s quest for an elusive Championship in a Sport People Watch.

It’s not inconceivable that Cal runs the table and ends up running away with the conference crown. Even if you do find them two more losses one of the four second-place teams would have to go 6-1 down the stretch to share the title.

Washington only has two home games left so they’re not doing it. UCLA and USC still have to play at the Washingtons and Arizonas so they’re out.

That leaves the schools from the Grand Canyon State. To get to the proposed 12-6 both teams are looking to sweep the Oregon and L.A. schools at home and win at Stanford. Were that to happen the winner of the head-to-head battle on Feb. 21 in Tucson would claim a share of the Pac-10 championship.

Possible? Well, let’s get past Oregon and Oregon State at home and have Cal lose to either Washington or WSU in Berkeley and then we’ll talk.

Until then keep your hopes in neutral.

—

In football news, last Wednesday was National Signing Day, or “F5 Day” as it is known on message boards. If you look at the recruiting rankings Arizona didn’t do too hot, ranking 7th in the Pac-10 according to Rivals and 9th according to Scout.

This puts Wildcat fans in the “Recruiting rankings don’t mean anything!” camp. That means we watch for guys who end up exceeding their supposed potential.

Here are a few candidates:

WR Garic Wharton – He is really fast. Like Usain-Bolt-is-looking-over-his-shoulder fast. But can he catch? Can he get open? Can he run in anything other than a straight line?

DB Jonathan McKnight – He is Joe McKnight’s brother. Quick, someone get him a girlfriend who rides the bus!

No, that’s Jordan Knight.
Photo by Jim Louvau, The Arizona Republic

DL Sani Fuimaono – The Cats politely and ethically steered him away from Washington at the last minute.

LS Chase Gorham – This Scottsdale kid was rated as the best long snapper in the nation. We’re #1! We’re #1!

The guys we need to be really good really quick are JC linebackers Derek Earls and Paul Vassallo, and DT Willie Mobley, a former Ohio State redshirt who ended up at a JC. There are holes in the UA defense that need to be filled and if these transfers can do the filling the Cats will be in great shape.

Did you see our quarterback suddenly get better on Sunday? Nick Foles went from being The Guy Who Broke Drew Brees’ High School Records to The Guy Who Broke Super Bowl MVP Drew Brees’ High School Records.

Just a couple months until spring practice!