Did your Valentine stomp on your heart? Did Cupid miss and put his arrow through your head? You’ve come to the right place. We’re going to cheer you up the old fashioned way: by pointing out the flaws in everyone else.

I didn’t set out to collect depressing facts and stats. I didn’t intend to hang out with Debbie Downer, Betty Bummer and Molly Moper. They all just happen to be Pac-10 basketball fans this year.

I love you?

Are you ready for this? Do not keep reading if you’re standing on a ledge, cliff, or bridge. Do not read on if you are about to operate heavy machinery.

Three Pac-10 teams have overall losing records. A fourth is at .500. A fifth is just one game north of even. Last year only two teams had losing records. The year before that it was another two. If you like losers, this year you’re a winner.

Misery, we’ve got your company.

Thu. Feb. 18 (all times Arizona/Mountain)

UCLA (11-13 / 6-6) at WSU (15-10 / 5-8) – 6:30 p.m., FSN
In three games on Thursday and Saturday Fox Sports Net is stuck with four of the five worst teams in the conference. I hear you can get buy-one-get-one-free commercial time.

Stanford (11-14 / 5-8) at Oregon (12-12 / 4-8) – 8 p.m.
The Cardinal finally dropped a home game to end their schizophrenic season. But they’re just two losses away from completing a perfectly imperfect 0-9 road record.

Cal (17-8 / 9-4) at OSU (11-13 / 5-7) – 8:30 p.m., FSN
As bad as things have been the Bears still have a shot at a respectable 14-4 league record and they’ll be favored in every game the rest of the way. This week we’ll see if they can avoid pulling an Arizona.

Talkin’ ‘bout Schaft(enaar)

USC (15-9 / 7-5) at Washington (17-8 / 7-6) – 8:30 p.m., FSNW
Reason number 1,024 why this is a strange year: It took the Huskies 14 weeks to win their first road game, and they’re still a contender in the Pac-10.

Sat. Feb. 20

Stanford at OSU – 1 p.m., FSN
The Beavers haven’t won two straight since the first time they beat Arizona. (Ad space for this game might be free.)

USC at WSU – 3 p.m.
The Cougars have lost five of six. You don’t want to know who the win was against.

Cal at Oregon – 4 p.m.
Hey, two teams the Wildcats have beaten! Can we get the Ducks on the schedule a couple more times?

UCLA at Washington – 6 p.m., ESPN
The Huskies’ last home game of the year. I expect 85 fouls to be called.

Sun. Feb. 21

ASU (18-8 / 8-5) at ARIZONA (13-12 / 7-6) – 3:30 p.m., FSN
Even though the UA is covered with Beaver-stink, this is still the game of the week. If the Devils can beat the Cats and Cardinal on the road it would set up a huge showdown at Cal next weekend. Now that would be depressing.

It only took a month and a half but we finally have some stratification in the Pac-10 standings. The top four teams are on winning streaks. Five of the bottom six teams lost their last game.
There are only two ties to break in the real standings but, with the precision of Kyle Fogg’s jumpshot, I’m going to break them.

1. Cal (1) – Can the Bears get their first road sweep?
2. ASU (6) – You don’t need to beat good teams when they lose for you.
3. USC (2) – The Fightin’ O’Neills took care of UCLA.
4. Washington (5) – Did not lose to Oregon State.
5. ARIZONA (3) – Did.
6. UCLA (4) – At least we’re still better than the Bruins.
7. OSU (8) – Sigh.
8. Stanford (10) – Most recent head-to-head with Wazzu.
9. WSU (7) – Ended Cal game on a 0-15 run.
10. Oregon (9) – Averaging 50 points their last three games. Somewhere Luke Ridnour weeps.

In this space last week we talked about how even though the top three teams in the Pac-10 were at home the chances of them each surviving unscathed were slim. Sadly, it was the Wildcats who served up the pile of disgust.

But life is not over. The world has not ended. What’s the best way to get over a hideous breakup? Move on to someone better. For the Arizona Wildcats a win over ASU would be like a nearsighted supermodel. A chance for instant redemption is here.

Smile!

We don’t play Oregon State anymore.

All eyes will be on Berkeley Thursday night as the Washington Huskies attempt to conquer both Cal and their fear of flying. The Arizona schools need to focus only on what’s in front of them and win two games at home.

The revised power rankings are like Stanford: at the bottom.

Thu. Feb. 11
OSU (10-12 / 4-6) at ASU (16-8 / 6-5) – 6:30 p.m. (all times Arizona/Mountain)
The red-hot (for the Pac-10) Beavers have won two of their last three. To give their confidence an extra boost they beat their rival by 20.

Washington (16-7 / 6-5) at Cal (15-8 / 7-4) – 7 p.m., ESPN2
If you’ve been saving your first win away from home this would be a great time to use it.

Socks? Check. Toothbrush? Check. Win?

WSU (15-8 / 5-6) at Stanford (10-13 / 4-7) – 8 p.m.
Did the two close loses in L.A. leave the Cardinal hungry or hopeless?

Oregon (12-10 / 4-6) at ARIZONA (12-11 / 6-5) – 8:30 p.m., FSN
Must-win starts now for the Wildcats.

Sat. Feb. 13
WSU at Cal – 2 p.m., FSN
Come on, DeAngelo Casto, we need you to beat up on someone besides Arizona.

Oregon at ASU – 4 p.m., FSAZ
Can the Devils avoid looking ahead to the Kevin Parrom Revenge Game?

OSU at ARIZONA – 6 p.m., KWBA/FCS
In a year when the Cats already have hit double-digits in losses, getting beat by the Beavers remains the worst of them.

Washington at Stanford – 6 p.m., FSNW
If the Huskies can’t win this one they should just turn in their frequent flier cards.

Sun. Feb. 14
UCLA (11-12 / 6-5) at USC (14-9 / 6-5) – 8 p.m., FSN
“Happy Valentine’s Day! I made dinner reservations. You like nachos, right?”

Another week, another jumble in the middle. Fear you not, the TWIT-Pac power rankings are here to sort things out. Last week’s ranking (looks like this).

The Leader
1. Cal (2) – One win in L.A. was enough.

The 6-5s
2. USC (8) – 5-1 vs. the top half, 1-4 vs. the bottom half.
3. ARIZONA (1) – Also does better against the better teams.
4. UCLA (3) – The best sub-.500 team in America.
5. Washington (6) – Prove it this week, U-Dub. PROVE IT!
6. ASU (4) – An Ericksonian 1-5 against the upper division.

"Hello? Portland State?"
Photo by Rob Schumacher, The Arizona Republic

The Coogz
7. WSU (7) – Stuck at unlucky #7.

The Civil Warriors
8. OSU (10) – Half their four wins are against Oregon.
9. Oregon (5) – The Ducks went from on-fire to probably-getting-fired.

The Cellar
10. Stanford (9) – Good news, Cardinal fans! Home games are coming!

Logic says Cal, Arizona, and ASU will win at home to create a little separation from the pack. But we all know logic has nothing to do with the Pac-10 this year. Who is going to serve their fans a steaming pile of disgust?

Arizona has had a great two weeks. TWIT-Pac wants to know if the Cats can keep it up now that they won’t sneak up on anyone anymore.

Thu. Feb. 4
ASU (15-7 / 5-4) at WSU (14-7 / 4-5) – 8 p.m. (all times Arizona/Mountain)
The Devils beat the Cougs by 25 the first time around.

ARIZONA (12-9 / 6-3) at Washington (14-7 / 4-5) – 8:30 p.m., FSN
No time to celebrate for the first-place Cats. The Huskies have won their last four home games by an average of 31 points.

Cal (14-7 / 6-3) at USC (12-9 / 4-5) – 8:30 p.m.
Let the scoreboard watching begin!

Stanford (10-11 / 4-5) at UCLA (10-11 / 5-4) – 8:30 p.m.
With three games at 10:30 Eastern even the Pac-10 schedule-makers are embarrassed by the conference’s performance.

Sat. Feb. 6
Cal at UCLA – 2 p.m., CBS
Start your sports Saturday by rooting against the Bears.

Oregon at OSU – 4 p.m., FSNW
The Ducks showed some spunk with two wins last week.

Stanford at USC – 5:30 p.m.
When you get swept by the Oregon schools even your student manager gets mad.

ARIZONA at WSU – 6:30 p.m., FSAZ/FSNW
If the UA can’t get it done in Seattle this will be another big one on the Wildcats’ favorite day of the week.

ASU at Washington – 8:30 p.m., FSN
The last chance for a UW home feast before starving again on the road.

After everyone has played everyone the standings are what they are. The power rankings are just here to break the ties (last week’s rank in parentheses):

The 6-3s
1. ARIZONA (5) – Oh, how sweet it is.
2. Cal (1) – The Bears can get better in a hurry by taming L.A.

The 5-4s
3. UCLA (3) – Head-to-head goes to the Bruins.
4. ASU (6) – All five wins are against the bottom six.

The 4-5s
5. Oregon (10) – Two wins in a row in this league means you’re on fire.
6. Washington (7) – Home games make the Dawgs look good again.
7. WSU (4) – Has wins against the three teams below it.
8. USC (2) – Still four wins after playing the Oregons.
9. Stanford (8) – The dream of 9-0 at home and 0-9 on the road is alive.

The Oregon State
10. OSU (9) – If they don’t beat UO at home it could get ugly fast.

As the second half of the conference season begins will we start to see some separation among the teams, or are we going to have another five weeks of seemingly random results?

Let’s just hope the random-number generator keeps picking the Cats.

I know you want to skip ahead to the revised power rankings. Don’t do it! It’s like dessert. Save the best for last!

Thu. Jan. 28
Stanford (10-9 / 4-3) at ARIZONA (10-9 / 4-3) – 6 p.m. (all times Arizona/Mountain), Fox College Sports
Playing at home against an average opponent, coming off the high of the ASU win. This is the game where we find out if the Cats are truly getting better.

Cal (13-6 / 5-2) at ASU (14-6 / 4-3) – 6:30 p.m., FSAZ
The Devils did not take care of business last week but they can still get back into first place.

USC (12-7 / 4-3) at OSU (8-11 / 2-5) – 6:30 p.m., FSNW
The Beavers haven’t won since beating Arizona.

UCLA (9-10 / 4-3) at Oregon (10-9 / 2-5) – 8:30 p.m., FSN
Three of the Bruins’ four league wins have come by two points or less.

Sat. Jan. 30
WSU at Washington – 1:30 p.m., FSN
The Pac-10 beat Seattle U! The Pac-10 beat Seattle U! Hey, you’ve got to start somewhere.

Stanford at ASU – 2 p.m.
The Cardinal is 4-0 at home and 0-3 on the road. If they played Washington at a neutral site, would anybody win?

USC at Oregon – 4 p.m.
After winning six straight, the Ducks have dropped five in a row. There’s no truth to the rumor they’re adding Jeremiah Masoli to the roster to try and get more steals.

UCLA at OSU – 5:30 p.m., FSNW
The last two Pac teams with overall losing records finally meet. Instead of an opening tip they should start with a group hug.

Sun. Jan. 31
Cal at ARIZONA – 1:30 p.m., FSN
No NFL playoff games? No problem. How about The Battle For First Place In The Pac-10 If The Bears And Wildcats Both Win On Thursday?!

Did you do it? Did you last this long without peeking? I won’t tease you any longer. It’s power rankings time (last week’s rank in parentheses!)!

1. Cal (2) – With the next four on the road we’ll see if Cal is for real.
2. USC (3) – Four wins without playing the Oregons.
3. UCLA (4) – Same as USC, but lost to the Trojans.
4. WSU (6) – Road wins against UA and USC are strong.
5. ARIZONA (9) – UA > ASU.
6. ASU (1) – Just 1-3 against the top 5.
7. Washington (5) – Lucky the Cal and Stanford games were at home.
8. Stanford (7) – No road wins and half the home wins are against Oregons.
9. OSU (8) – Why did you lose to these guys, Cats? Why?
10. Oregon (10) – First in football, last in basketball.

That looks a little better, doesn’t it? The Cats can make another jump by beating Cal, or drop back down again by losing to Stanford. Such is life in a conference where 60% of the league has exactly four wins.

But we’re 1-1 against Seattle U!

The Cats don’t play on Thursday so you can turn on the TV and watch…well, two teams that are a combined 5-6 in league play. Maybe it’s just best to wait until Saturday after all.

Thu. Jan. 21
OSU (8-9 / 2-3) at Stanford (8-9 / 2-3) – 8 p.m. (all times Arizona/Mountain)
Two of the three Pac teams with overall losing records battle to get back to glorious .500.

Oregon (10-7 / 2-3) at Cal (11-6 / 3-2) – 8:30 p.m.
The Ducks are 0-3 in Pac-10 home games and 2-0 on the road. The Bears should be concerned.

Washington (12-5 / 3-3) at UCLA (7-10 / 2-3) – 8:30 p.m., FSN
The Huskies look like they’re going to be the anti-Ducks: dominant at home and diminutive on the road.

Washington State (13-5 / 3-3) at USC (11-6 / 3-2) – 8:30 p.m.
The Dead Men Walking took out a whole bunch of frustration against UCLA.

Sat. Jan. 23
OSU at Cal – 12 p.m., CBS
If the Bears and Devils take care of business at home it would set up a large showdown in Tempe next Thursday. Ick.

WSU at UCLA – 2 p.m., FSN
The Bruins beat the top two teams in the league and have lost to everyone else. Nothing about this conference makes sense.

Oregon at Stanford – 6 p.m.
If the Cardinal don’t get happy against the Oregons at home they’re just going to be sad.

Washington at USC – 8:30 p.m.
UW really wants to take care of business this week. They play the mighty Seattle U on Tuesday.

ARIZONA (9-9 / 3-3) at ASU (14-5 / 4-2) – 7:30 p.m., FSAZ
Since scoring 37 points against USC the Sun Devils have averaged 70 points a game in four wins without giving up more than 57. Stop the insanity!

As promised this week’s power rankings look completely different from last time. Remember, this isn’t a prediction of where teams will finish but a look at their performance thus far (last week’s ranking is in parentheses).

1. ASU (3) – I don’t like it any more than you do.
2. Cal (1) – Losing at UW is forgivable but the Bears need to string some wins together.
3. USC (6) – The head-to-head with UCLA nudges them into the top three.
4. UCLA (4) – The ASU and Cal wins are still better than anyone else below.
5. Washington (10) – Beating the Bears is a good start on a comeback.
6. WSU (7) – All three Pac wins are against bottom-half peers.
7. Stanford (5) – Hanging on by their one-point win against USC.
8. OSU (9) – Beat Arizona and Oregon.
9. ARIZONA (8) – Say what now?
10. Oregon (2) – Losing all your home games gets you the fast track to the basement.

I’m not trying to be harsh with the Cats. Our guys aren’t terrible but I can’t find a good reason to jump anybody else in the sub-division. We lost head-to-head against WSU and OSU, and Stanford’s win against USC is better than our win against UCLA.

The good news is Arizona can change its status in a hurry. First-place ASU is Saturday and second-place Cal is a week from Sunday.

And weekend games are what the Wildcats do best.