UA Wildcats will not go to the Rose Bowl and other truths about Tucsonby Hugh Holub on Nov. 08, 2010, under humor, tucson life and heritage
The most likely thing to never happen is the UA Wildcats going to the Rose Bowl.
That truth was proven again when the Wildcats blew the best season they ever had by losing badly to Stanford.
The UA can spend all the money in the world on its football program, and Mike Stoops can recruit like mad, but there is just something about UA football that always comes out badly at the end. There is always that outrageous loss…usually to some second rate school. The Wilcats can beat number 1 teams, and then lose to a number 212th team every season.
Never could understand this because the UA basketcats under Lute Olson were a wonder. We actually got used to at least getting into the NCAA playoffs, and many of us treasure our Final 4 tee shirts and our NCAA championship memories.
So it isn’t the University that is incapable of winning the PAC 10 or 11 or whatever it is called now.
Maybe our destiny is to keep landing space craft on Mars and other seriously important research achievements.
Harvard and MIT never won a major bowl game. Too bad we can’t raise the kind of money and community support for academic achievement as we can for football.
Other things that are never going to happen in Tucson:
–we’ll never have a major league baseball team. Heck, we can’t even manage a Triple A league team any more.
–we’ll never have a new major high paying jobs industry locate in Tucson. Big news in town is getting another 300 call center jobs. Tucson works hard to be second rate and poor.
–we’ll never build a cross-town freeway. Too many neighborhood opponents who want everyone to ride a bike to work.
–we’ll never see a Tucsonan elected Governor of the state again. Or US Senator. Too many Republicans in Maricopa County.
Tucson is known as “the place where dreams go to die”.
Maybe we need a community-wide assessment of what Tucsonans are really good at and concentrate there.
Tucsonans are good at blocking new industries locating in town. Maybe we become a world center of expertise in avoiding economic development.
Tucsonans are good at coming up with really complicated business regulations that drive businesses out of town. Maybe we could export our city codes to communities that hate capitalism. Our Sister Cities should all be in Russia.
Tucsonans are good at filing lawsuits to protect endangered owls and snails. We’re already famous for this.
Tucsonans are good at creating creative enclaves and then tearing them down. Arts district? Warehouse district? More buildings waiting to be converted into parking lots in anticipation of fancy new developments that never get built. What we’re good at is developing parking lots.
Tucsonans are good at interplanetary explorations. We can’t find our way to a Wal Mart but can find water on Mars.
Tucsonans are good at building golf courses in the desert. So many golf courses…so little water. Maybe we’ll build the first golf course on Mars.
Rose Bowl? The closest we’ll ever get to Pasadena is to enter a precision Mariachi bicycle drill team in the Doo Dah parade.