The purpose of most New Year’s Resolutions is to start the New Year on a fresh page, and get rid of all the problems or bad habits of the previous year.

The problem with New Year’s Resolutions is that they are more statements of intent, and not action plans. Whatever effort that goes into keeping a Resolution is usually gone by the end of the first week of the New Year.

New Year’s Resolutions are kind of an interesting exercise in futility…you know you can’t keep the Resolution the minute you make it (unless your Resolution was to never make any more New Year’s Resolutions).

So….in the spirit of only making Resolutions that one is more likely to succeed at…here are some proposed New Year’s Resolutions that can be achieved for most of 2011:

Be more judgmental: The facts don’t ever have to get in your way. You just feel your point of view is right. To see some excellent examples of judgmentalism…read some of the comments posted on my various commentaries about border issues. Obviously (to some) all undocumented immigrants are just soaking up taxpayer money and should be instantly deported because they are undermining American society…and so forth.

Be more critical of others: Obviously no one likes to be criticized. This instantly brings people’s hackles up and sets the stage for a fight. Since being enmeshed in a fight is what keeps America’s political life so interesting to the media….be more critical of everything and everyone in 2011.

Cultivate the garden of resentments: There is a lot to be angry about. Remind yourself about everything that you thought was unfair and relive those moments of anger and frustration. Everything going on now is just a continuum of all those situations where you were blocked.

React stupidly and foolishly: Whenever the opportunity arises to take the high road, take the low road instead. Maximize self-sabotage.

Be afraid of everything: Climate is changing and sea levels are rising. There’s mutated viruses out there that will kill you. Corporations want to steal your home.  Then there’s all those politicians who either want to socialize America or turn the country into a fascist state. Terrorists are lurking in the bushes. Watch the evening news and between the threat of the moment and all the ads for drugs….there is lots to be afraid of. Let fear run your life.

Of course one could do just the opposite of the above and maybe life would be better.

Then again…making a Resolution to not make any more New Year’s Resolutions might be the easiest of them all to keep.

This entry was posted on Friday, December 31st, 2010 at 7:07 am and is filed under humor, politics. Tags for this post: new years resolutions. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.