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Humor by Argus Hamilton

THE WHITE HOUSE admitted President Bush was told in August that Iran had ended its nuclear weapons program four years ago. He kept threatening Iran into October. Republicans believe it’s Reaganesque to forget what people told you just months ago.

DONALD TRUMP dined at the Buffalo Club in Los Angeles on Thursday and left his waiter a $10,000 tip. The mogul just wanted the publicity. He keeps hearing the candidates talk about the Supreme Being, but he never sees his name in the article.

MITT ROMNEY stood up for his Mormon faith in a speech in Texas on Thursday but insisted his religion would never affect his policies. The president wannabe compared himself with Jack Kennedy. The difference is, Romney would never support polygamy.

GENNIFER FLOWERS said in Las Vegas on Thursday she may vote for presidential candidate Hillary Clinton. Bill Clinton’s former paramour had to leave New Orleans two years ago and give up her singing career in the French Quarter. No one ever talks about the good things Hurricane Katrina accomplished.

Argus Hamilton is host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. E-mail: argus@argushamilton.com

Citizen Online Archive, 2006-2009

This archive contains all the stories that appeared on the Tucson Citizen's website from mid-2006 to June 1, 2009.

In 2010, a power surge fried a server that contained all of videos linked to dozens of stories in this archive. Also, a server that contained all of the databases for dozens of stories was accidentally erased, so all of those links are broken as well. However, all of the text and photos that accompanied some stories have been preserved.

For all of the stories that were archived by the Tucson Citizen newspaper's library in a digital archive between 1993 and 2009, go to Morgue Part 2

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