The Princeton Review issued its annual list of Top 10 Party Schools with West Virginia finishing in first place. It wasn’t fair. People with stills always have an advantage during times of economic collapse.

The Food and Drug Administration blamed this year’s salmonella outbreak on fresh jalapeños imported from Mexico. These free-trade agreements turned out to be fair after all. They’ve got us exchanging worthless dollars for poisoned produce.

Dennis Kucinich appeared before the House Judiciary Committee and laid out his case for impeaching President Bush for lying about Iraq having weapons of mass destruction. The president’s best bet is to plead ignorance. He can prove that.

Barack Obama had meetings in London with Tony Blair, Prime Minister Gordon Brown (right) and Tory leader David Cameron. They learned his mother was of English descent and his father was a British subject. Prince Harry didn’t pass muster this fast.

Argus Hamilton is host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. E-mail him at argus@argus hamilton.com.