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Humor: Bernie, Freddie and Fannie

Federal Reserve poured $1 trillion into buying mortgage-backed securities from Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. These agencies backstop risky home loans while the executives take huge bonuses and give big campaign contributions to lawmakers. Defrauder Bernie Madoff can’t believe he’s in jail while Freddie and Fannie walk free.

Congress released the hounds on AIG execs and slapped a punitive 90 percent income tax on the company bonuses. It’s no more constitutional than beheading George W. Bush. Not everything that sounds like a good idea is constitutional.

Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner faced calls by members of Congress for his resignation. He’s still had no assistants confirmed. If he leaves, the Treasury Department will have a vacancy rate that can stack up against any office building in the country.

Pope Benedict announced the Roman Catholic Church is opposed to the use of condoms to help in the global fight against AIDS. The pope’s opposition makes total sense. You can’t expect a Notre Dame fan to say anything nice about Trojans.

Argus Hamilton is host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. E-mail: argus@argushamilton.com

Citizen Online Archive, 2006-2009

This archive contains all the stories that appeared on the Tucson Citizen's website from mid-2006 to June 1, 2009.

In 2010, a power surge fried a server that contained all of videos linked to dozens of stories in this archive. Also, a server that contained all of the databases for dozens of stories was accidentally erased, so all of those links are broken as well. However, all of the text and photos that accompanied some stories have been preserved.

For all of the stories that were archived by the Tucson Citizen newspaper's library in a digital archive between 1993 and 2009, go to Morgue Part 2

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