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Humor by Argus Hamilton: A TelePrompter Savant

Nancy Pelosi, speaker of the House, told a Hispanic crowd that enforcing U.S. immigration law is un-American. Voters won’t be happy. Millions of Americans are out of work, but millions of illegal immigrants could be out of work even cheaper.

San Francisco unveiled new luxury commuter buses aimed at wealthy suburbanites. They offer you the opportunity to talk on the phone, read the newspaper, eat breakfast and enjoy a little wine on the way to work. It’s exactly the same as driving.

The U.S. Army already met its recruiting goal for the year because so many troops are re-enlisting. You can’t blame them. They just turned Iraq from a dictatorship into a land of freedom and democracy, but the U.S. is just too big a challenge.

Prime Minister Gordon Brown tried to watch the DVDs President Obama gave him, but they were the wrong format for Britain. However, the president has a very nice gift to give Brown when Obama goes to London next month to make it up to him. Since Obama became president, 20 states have decided to rejoin the British Empire.

President Obama upset many when he told Jay Leno (right) his bowling was what you’d see in the Special Olympics. The lack of sensitivity was jaw-dropping. We thought we elected an intelligent guy and it turns out we’ve got a TelePrompter Savant.

E-mail Argus Hamilton, host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood, at argus@argushamilton.com.

Citizen Online Archive, 2006-2009

This archive contains all the stories that appeared on the Tucson Citizen's website from mid-2006 to June 1, 2009.

In 2010, a power surge fried a server that contained all of videos linked to dozens of stories in this archive. Also, a server that contained all of the databases for dozens of stories was accidentally erased, so all of those links are broken as well. However, all of the text and photos that accompanied some stories have been preserved.

For all of the stories that were archived by the Tucson Citizen newspaper's library in a digital archive between 1993 and 2009, go to Morgue Part 2

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