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Humor: Obama goes to Mexico

President Obama goes to Mexico next week for a presidential summit while he’s under pressure by Latino leaders to ease immigration laws. Immigrants do the jobs Americans refuse to do. No American wants to be president of GM for what Obama’s willing to pay.

The Justice Department prepared to drop all charges against Alaska’s convicted former U.S. Senator Ted Stevens. This guy was a legend in Washington, D.C. Stevens brought home so much pork in 40 years that he’s banned in two religions.

The Republican National Committee replaced Sarah Palin with Newt Gingrich as featured speaker at a June fundraiser in Washington, D.C., There’s always someone in the family who’s about to go into labor and she can’t make plans to be out of town.

President Obama went to Strasbourg for NATO’s 60th anniversary summit meeting. Sixty years ago, U.S. taxpayers financed a military alliance to stop the march of world socialism. Why should it march when we’ll send a car for it?

Bill Clinton admitted in an interview that he has tremors in his hand but said it’s not Parkinson’s. He prides himself on being in shape. Last weekend, Clinton did a marathon when he was home in New York, but it was a “Baywatch” marathon.

Congress voted to give the FDA power to regulate tobacco. This is the perfect chance for the tobacco states to legalize pot smoking. Restaurant patrons may not like the smell at first but everybody will be used to it by the third dessert.

Queen Elizabeth upbraided Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi (right) for making noise and cutting up at the Group of 20 leaders photo. The man is simply irrepressible. Berlusconi is like fine wine – about 12 percent alcohol.

Argus Hamilton is host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. E-mail: argus@argushamilton.com

Citizen Online Archive, 2006-2009

This archive contains all the stories that appeared on the Tucson Citizen's website from mid-2006 to June 1, 2009.

In 2010, a power surge fried a server that contained all of videos linked to dozens of stories in this archive. Also, a server that contained all of the databases for dozens of stories was accidentally erased, so all of those links are broken as well. However, all of the text and photos that accompanied some stories have been preserved.

For all of the stories that were archived by the Tucson Citizen newspaper's library in a digital archive between 1993 and 2009, go to Morgue Part 2

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