President Obama introduced his new pet dog, Bo, at the White House. They don’t get along. The puppy worked hard all day digging up a bone and the president made him spread the wealth and share the bone with a less industrious dog across town.
Gov. Rick Perry said Texas has the right to secede from the Union. Then Oklahoma secedes, then Arkansas, then Alabama, then South Carolina and then Barack Obama realizes his dream of being the next Abe Lincoln.
Hillary Clinton signaled closer trade relations between the U.S. and Cuba are at hand. The administration’s motives are obvious. Cuba makes the world’s finest cigars and all the previous Democratic plans to kill Rush Limbaugh have failed.
Al Franken beat Norm Coleman (right) in the recount for the U.S. Senate seat, a Minnesota appeals court panel has ruled. It’ll be appealed. Coleman is represented by famed lawyer Ben Ginsberg, and the only way you can beat a lawyer that good is to die with no money.
Argus Hamilton is host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. E-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org